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Number One Idiot of 2007
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison
control center.

Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught
her little daughter eating ants.

I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.

She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention
that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.

I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right
away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

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Number Two Idiot of 2007
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life
raft from one of the 747s.

They were successful in getting it out of the plane
and home.

Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.

It turned out that the chopper
was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft
was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

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Number Three Idiot of 2007
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch
and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.

' While standing in line, waiting
to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him
write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.

So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo
teller.

She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note
because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would
either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

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Number Four Idiot of 2007
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that;
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.

He later received
in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.

Instead of payment, he sent
the police department a photograph of $40.

Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy........ But you still get a sign
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Number Five Idiot of 2007
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the
cash from the cash drawer.

After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.

He
told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,
'Because I don't believe you are over 21.

' The robber said he was, but the
clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.

At this point,
the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she
put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

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Idiot Number Six of 2007
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers.

The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved,
the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
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Idiot Number Seven of 2007
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.

He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run.

So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at
the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.

It
seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.

The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, here's your sign
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Idiot Number Eight of 2007
I live in a semi-rural area.

(Weyauwega, Wisconsin) We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of
the Deer Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this
is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.

'
>From Kingman, KS.

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(Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... and
they REPRODUCE...
and they VOTE!!