Facial Expression

Your facial expression expresses your mood. But here is a secret: Your facial expression also directly affects your mood. A big smile is the most powerful antidepressant money can’t buy.

Try this in front of a mirror:

First, put on your favorite music and imagine having everything that you could possibly want: the health, the happiness, the relationship, the house, the car, the career or business, and the wealth. Make the image as intense as you can. Try your best to really get into it. Now stand the way you would right now if you had it all. Think about it. How would you stand and move? Would you slouch, looking insecure and afraid, or would you stand up tall, filled with confidence? Now put on the facial expression you would have as you reveled in your success. What kind of a look would it be? How would you hold your eyebrows and mouth? What about the eyes? Would you have the defeated eyes and frown of a chronic failure? Or the expression of a winner, someone completely self-assured and powerful, someone who knew failure was impossible? Put that expression on your face and practice it now for the next five minutes.

Do this every day, as often as you can. Each time you get in front of a mirror, practice holding a facial expression that exudes confidence and personal power. Of course, every facial expression has its proper place and time. You wouldn’t want the look of a Mussolini in a romantic moment with your lover, or your sexy expression when talking to your boss at the office. But practice positive facial expressions and understand their effect on your mood. Since your expressions can powerfully influence your feelings, it is important to develop the habit of wearing facial expressions that express confidence and cheerfulness as opposed to sadness, worry, or anger.

Also realize that children tend to assume the habitual facial expressions of their parents. For many years as a kid growing up, I was anxious around my father. It wasn’t what he said or did, but how he looked. He always had a very stern expression, an incredibly serious face. For years I thought that he was angry, with me or something I had or hadn’t done. And though more than a few times I was the source of his frustration as a parent, it wasn’t until much later in life that I realized that was just the way he looked. It was his default expression, his face when the mask he wore to the office came off. It blew me away years later when while on a walk, my own son asked me, "Dad, what's wrong?" When I replied that nothing was wrong, he asked, "Well why do you look so mad?"

I looked at him and smiled. "How's this?" I asked.

"Much better dad."

The 40-Year-Old Frown.

A few years ago I noticed that most people over 40, especially women, frown most of the time. The frown is their default expression. Take a look—you may have to go only as far as the nearest mirror—and watch the people around you who are over 40. See how most of them are frowning. That expression has a bad effect on their mood. Over time they begin to feel as sad as they look, which may be one reason so many people struggle with depression. Develop a habit of smiling, to others at work and at home. This habit is especially important for those in management positions, or for parents, teachers, coaches, customer service representatives, sales people, clergy, and anyone else in contact with the general public. As a manager, I found that whenever I spoke with my staff—whether at a meeting or simply discussing some challenge—everything went better if I smiled. The employees would smile and feel better and as long as they were happy, things generally went smoothly. Smiles are contagious. The more you smile, the more others around you will smile. When you smile you feel good—and those around you feel good too.