hello everyone ,, this one gets to me its happened to me twice in two differnt realionships now.

The first realionship.. I was living defacto for 5 and a half years . i fell preggy with my first child at 22 years my partner got physicaly and emotionaly abusive with me as i dont have a great family either and had cutt my parents off since i was 15 years old ( another long sad abusive story)

I had no one to even turn to his mother  didnt like me because i was australian and he was her favourite child in the family also ..

I had my daughter and ended up loosing her because she contracted hooping cough

he was never arround for us either i didnt see him for weeks at times even when she started to look ill

he finally came to the hospital all dressed up with his friends waiting for him outside in the car ( she was placed in intencive care at this stage) he ran in and said she looks fine and left as quick as he had ran in the door.( she had tubes comming in and out of her and was placed on a breathing machine) how could anyone think that she looked fine is beyond me .all he wanted to do was go out clubbing .

not even his mother came to the hospital when she was ill i was there alone with her ,

i went home late arround midnight as there wasnt anywhere for me to stay with her at that stage

i got a phone call at 4am saying to come back to the hospital cause she wasnt going to make it

i left a hand written message next to the phone incase he decided to show up there letting him know that his daughter only had hours to live.

well i guessed me must of went home as a few hours later outside the hospital room there was a commotion the staff and security had to be called out to see what was going on

there stood 50 people of his family as well as him yelling all sorts of bad things about me that my daughter was  in hospital beacuse it must of been something that i had done,, this was even the first time that any of them had even come to the hospital to see her his mother and himself where the ring leaders.

it had gotten so horrible for me being there with her that they had to place a security guard at the door and also the doctor got an interpritor to go talk to them to let them know that is was in no way that she was dieing because of anything that i had done or not done ,, that is was hooping cough and she had contracted it from the hospital the day she was born from another person visiting another paitent  and she was not the only baby born at that time that was in hospital with this ..

they all went quiet and then said nope we dont beleive you .he wanted to come in for a min to see her alone so i let him and went to the bathroom the moment i left the room i was surrounded by his family while they where yelling at me pushing me telling me it was all my fault and his mother was saying i was a b and her poor son her poor son ..

i ended up being numb and in shock for ages i stayed with this horrible man god knows why cause i dont  , we had twins a coupple of years later and his mother laughed and said haa you got boys god didnt even give you a girl that u had lost and was upset that i had more children to his son,

when they where only 3 months i had about all the abuse i could take and told him to leave and he did , he didnt even see his twins again untill they where amost 5 years old , he didnt leave quietly either  as the unit was in his name i was evicted he had my cards for my bank and had wipped all my money that i had saved for years leaving me with my empty bank account and nowhere to go ..

theres more to this story but ill cutt this first one off here its just too horrible to even try to recall..

@nd in laws 12 years later

i finally let my guard down and met someone else and took my time to let his guy into my life ,,

i met his father and he was great to me then it was time to meet the mother , well here we go again she hardly spoke to me and told her son to leave me asap as i had twins to another man and i wasnt good enough what would she say to her friends how shameful and i also was a few years older than her son and that she was in no way ready to be a grandmother .

she wants him to be with someone with money or his equal

she has always been rude to me in a sly cunning way , i fell pregnent to him and he was over the moon he wanted to get married asap and was sooo happy  he gave me a ring and asked me to be his wife and told me this is what he wants i said yes but lets hold off and just be engaged for a few years first , as soon as she found out it wasnt good

his father wanted to go for a holiday overseas to see his family cause also his realionship with his wife was sour , so this was the perfect timming for his mother to send him with his dad he didnt want to go and leave me at all but shes great at mind controll and convinced him that he needs to go with his father to support his dad as his father hadnt seen his family for 14 years or so .

we all went out for a farewell dinner for them both his aunty and uncle also where there . i had known his uncle for a few years and we had always gotten along fine and his aunty had always been nice to me at this stage .so dinner was ok but with his mother there is was tence she would ask me a question and when i went to awnser her she would turn to someone else and ignore me with a huge smile on her face ,

he went prommising me it wont be for long , while he was there it was game on for her .. she was on the computer lettin me know that her son didnt want me to have this baby i was almost 3 months at this stage , she had also worked her spells on him while he was overseas cause the next time i had herd from him he also had changed his mind

He loves his mother and couldnt see what she was doing to us and just thought that his mother was looking out for the both of us saying we shouldnt have this baby and we got lots of time and to just concentrait on our realionship ,

he flew back two weeks later a mess saying he cant do this anymore its not what he wants

i went to the doc to have a talk to them about a termination at both of their requests mother and son now ,, they had told me that because i was so far along that i would have to do this at my own risk and i could have bad infections etc,,,

he told his mother and she said thats crap, i told him to give his mother the doctors ph number cause they will let her know all the risks neither of them bothered to call the doc this was just before xmas also , she had convinced him that i wasnt telling them the truth and that to termanate at this stage still wasnt hard to do..

by now i was a complete mess alone again even know I didnt want to do it I went with him to get it done ,, this was the hardest thing to do becides burring my daughter .

I dont want to do it but how could i also bring a child into this mess , again with no support  for me at all and twins to look after also , i went ahead with it

I felt like crap and still do to this days a few years later ,

she even invited me to her family xmas dinner a few days after i had this done and being sly she sent me chanpaine glasses for christmas aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

of course i didnt go,,

well what the doc said came true i had a straph infection that was very bad i couldnt walk i had a high temp xmas day and lost 7 kilos in a couple of weeks , i was put on soo much meds i was spinning out  throwing up the works

his mother still convinced his i was even lieing about this

i had infections till the end of march 3 months of hell .

and was on a strong cocktail of drugs my then ,, my local doc sent me to have an ultra sound to see what was going on as he also was getting worried by this stage , i was in for a shock i had sooo much scar tissue inside etc,, an amonghts it all they just stood there staring at the moniter

in disbeleif i was pregnent ... i was also told with the amount of drugs i was on and the scar tissue i should of been kept in hospital for one and two how on earth could i even fall pregnent soo soon it just wasnt herd of ..i was also still a very ill woman .

i told my partner and he blew up this time telling me theres no way he can tell his mother or anyone in his family ,I said i am in no way going to go through what i went though and still am going through for anyone ever again and if he want to go then go .

he was an emotionl reck

we went through with me being pregnent having sooo many test to make sure this baby was ok cause the amonts of drugs they had put me on before

he was there for me but he didnt even want to touch my tummy so inother ways i was still alone..i was also in tafe at the time and in final exams also

the only family member that knew i was pregnent this time was his father and he was all for it ( hes a great man ) i had a hard pregnency this time i nearly lost my son at 7 months pregnent and was placed in hospital on steriods for 9 days .

at 9 months pregnent my partner got cold feet and left me ,, his mother was over the moon ( she still didnt know i was pregnent though)

my son came into this world now he was two weeks late so they had to induce me

i ran into an old school friend and she come over and took me to hospital to support me that day .she had called him without me knowing and told him to get his butt here and stop feeling sorry for himself that he needed to be here at the hospital ,

he came to my supprise and he got to experience something beautiful that melted him ,

we worked out our differnces and he said he cant let his mother know ever about this ,,

I didnt care anyway they wernt my family and had never been nice to me anyway .I had raised my twins with no support myself i can do this also ..

when my son was 3 months old his guilt of hiding this from his family became too much so he went to his mother and told her that hes a dad and hes happy ,,

well that didnt go down well and it all started up again ,, how i must of tricked him now can i ruin her sons life and i must of been lieing you name it the claws where out in full force that the aunty and uncle where also putting on pressure for his to leave me before its too late ..this was ongoing for over a year and it took his mother over a year to even want to see her grandson.

his uncle and aunty dont even want to see him at all

and still even know my son will be two next week want him to leave us

, we have been together to his mother place once and she has come here now twice

i feel even know shes pretending to be all nice thats shes still up to tricks as she asks her son if she can have her grandson for the day etc,,,, not can we all go out together )

Thank god that my partner has found some courrage to say no to her now with many things its a long slow process.

to me its their loss ,,

our son reads 80 words and hes not even two yet they are all missing out on a wonderful child

this year it will be just my two year old and me having xmas in a blow up pool at home alone ,, my twins go with the other inlaws and their dad for xmas and im not welcome at my partners uncle place for xmas . you know what I dont even care cause i get to spend xmas with one of my wonderful sons on that special day .. years and greif make you stronger in time ,ive been to hell many times and have survived and will continue to do so ..

You just have to except things for what they are and make your life with your family the best you can make it