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I am a step parent to my husbands child. and there are definately conflicts in parenting on both sides.  We are a very active family and my stepsons mother and husband are basically couch potatoes.  We are tidy and clean and they are not.  His mother would wear the same clothes for days on end.  My husband and I have had to teach him to be body proud, showering, washing his hair.  We now have him showering daily changing his clothes daily.  That is just one aspect of the differing parenting style.  Another aspect is that at his mothers home every thing is done for him, right down to decision making, at his dad's we make the hard decisions but like our kids to make some of their decisions.  My stepson we have had to again train him to make decisions such as what to wear, what to eat for breakfast, what to play etc.  He is 10 years old.  How do we resolve this? Only will work when both the parents are willing to work together, we have tried and tried to no avail.  So you give up and make do the best you can.