Seeking some advice....my eldest daughter turns 13 next month. Sh elives with her mum and has 2 younger sisters who are my daughters as well and a new baby brother who is from mums current partner. Trouble is she wont come to my house on weekends and worse still she refuses to talk to me on the phone. This has been going on for a couple of months now and im really worried. I miss my daughter. The mum and i do not communicate well so i am really in the dark here with whats going on with daughter....any advice or comments appreciated.

Hi, I'd love to hear from anyone who has teenage kids. Our son is 13 now, and it's different parenting him now, compared to when he was two or three years younger.  It seems like three years ago he was a kid in year 5...now he's a teen in year 8!  It's great though; they're so more maturer, i.e. the way the think and the things they can now understand.  Anyone know what I mean?

I am not giving up hope that this site might just come back to life!

Lets help each other through this strange era called the teenage years!

I have 2 teenagers and could certainly use some help and advice in this department of crazy teens. I may even have a little insight on some others who have issues. BUT I see there has not been any activity on here since May. Is that may of 2007?

I am just wondering, is anyone out there?

Am I glad to have found this group! My son is 12 1/2 and he is just sooooooo lazy. My husband and I are at wits end. At home he slobs around, sleeps in on w/ends til 11am. Weekdays we struggle to get him up and he goes to bed at 8.30pm every night. In regards to schoolwork, well, he does it with much pushing from us and his teacher, but when it's time to hand it up - he just doesn't. Then comes up with lame excuses. We know that he is above average as he recently had an IQ test to attend a private college and he was in the "gifted" range. His Basic Skills Test also show he is normal in areas, and above average in other areas. We love him dearly, but don't have the energy anymore to deal with him. I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old also. My hubby works long hours and I just don't have the time to do his homework for him anymore. Maybe that's where I've gone wrong, helping him too much. Perhaps we need to stop the afterschool activities too - tennis and scouts? I don't know. Any advice or anyone else experiencing this? According to Steve Biddulph, author of "Raising Boy" he isn't showing signs of puberty as with puberty, testosterone levels increase which results in "over-activeness" which my son isn't doing.

Hi Everyone,
Yup another newbie here and like what I have seen so far. I am the mother of 3 kids, a 13 year old son who at the moment is providing more challenges than I care to note, would some ideas off other parents who have teenagers, also have two daughter 9 and 6 years.
My 9 year old has mild aspergers and severe oral and verbal dyspraxia, would also love to hear from any parents of dypraxic kids for hints tips.

Looking forward to getting to know some other very frazzled parents.

Hello all,

Being new here I thought I'd start in the section most appropriate to my life right now, teenagers.

I have a nearly 15 yo son, a 13 yo daughter and a 10 yo daughter. 

Our problems at the moment revolve around our son. He hasn't been doing too well at school (and he's a smart boy), he is lazy (we decided that in return for paying for his hapkido lessons at $95 a month that he should mow the lawn once a week, which he agreed to - he hasn't mowed the lawn for over 6 weeks, coming up with all kinds of excuses), and my hubby is getting really angry with his lack of motivation. He is saying that he wants to leave school at the end of this year (Year 10) even though he knows he won't get a good job or even an apprenticeship without an HSC.

He gets angry at the slightest thing, he talks back alot (muttering under his breath), and I know it's going to get worse.

What do parents do with a boy who is going to be classed as an adult in 3 years' time, when for all his maturity he is not motivated and is failing school?

It is causing a fair bit of friction between my husband and I. Hubby thinks I am too soft on him and don't follow through consequences, which is true... but I think hubby is particularly harsh and can be unreasonable. He is the adult yet he gets angry and tries to exert his will over our son, which is just as bad because our son backs up and gets angrier - a vicious cycle.

We both realise that hapkido lessons and computer games have been distractions from study, and have decided that he will be cutting down from 3 lessons to 2 per week and that there will be no computer games played on weekdays. And I think we're going to make a list of all the big jobs that need to be done around the house with a monetary value so he can at least earn the money to pay for hapkido... so that if he doesn't do the work, he doesn't get the money, he doesn't go to hapkido... which he loves so hopefully he'll learn the consequences. Do you think that will work?

ARGH! Teenagers!

Hello all,

I'm a single dad to a 15 year old daughter. She has had a steady boyfriend for some time, and goes to his house after school most days. My girlfriend and I try to include her in family outings and such but she always declines unless I force her, preferring to hang out with her boyfriend.

I know that it is normal for teenage girls to want independance and do 'do their own thing,' but I'm never quite sure if what I'm seeing is normal or if I'm giving her too much freedom.

Any comments welcome.

my son ben is 15 and literally overnight has gone to wont talk cant talk grumpy teenager its a shock for me because last week he was his normal self his dad has spoken to him to see if theirs anything wrong like bullying at school or mate troubles but he says everything is fine could it be girl trouble he gets stressed at the silly things like having a younger brother or having a roast for dinner but schoolwork is fine dont know what is going on just taking a step back and waiting for him to talk to me its making the house very down and just before xmas its not what we want i seem to have lost him somewhere even though i still get hugs and kisses and he tells me he loves me its all changed

i have 3 teenagers still at home (3 already flown the coop) and we have this on going discussion about what level of help is required around the home. I work part time(at least 4 -5 hours a day) and I wonder sometimes if the 3 at home are blind to dishes that need washing or washing that needs to go on the line to dry. Oh for a holiday where I dont have to do anything and they look after me!!!!!!! somehow I dont think that will happen

I'm a PARTmom ..... my family consists of 4 - me, my partner and his 2 teenage children (one girl and one boy who also has some learning difficulties) who live with us 5 nights a week.

Most of the time all is pretty smooth but I'm really feeling under a lot of pressure at the moment. 

We have tried and tried to introduce tasks for the children to do but I'm ready to give up with some of that - the children are very lazy (they do nothing at their mum's place) and have not been taught to help out in anyway.  For 2yrs we have asked each teenager to help out 1x a fortnight with a meal ...... I do most of the other meals each week.  It actually causes more tension than it's worth so I'm over that idea and I am going to cook and they can have a pocket money cut.

I'm also struggling with the girl's teenage attitude.  "I'm doing this", "I'm doing that" with no respect for others or care to think about the 'family' schedule.

She also has a boyfriend and I find it very difficult to deal with him being all over her in front of us.

Any good suggestions, book to recommend about being a step parent?

I am constantly amazed at how many of the teenagers i associate with are totally unaware of their intimate health care. As a parent, the knowledge that my child is active in an intimate manner with others is originally hard to swallow, yet i'm confident that i've informed her of the many different health checks she should undergo on a regular basis, and why she should. Thankfully, my princess listened and followed my advice on these matters.

On the other hand, so many of her friends, both male and female, are totally unaware of the health checks they should undergo as a form of preventive medicine. Today, i held the hand of one young lady as she underwent her first of many to come smears.....until that final moment she was totally unaware of the procedure and of the reasons why it was being performed.......yet she has been intimate with a few young men, and women, for a few years now.

Admittedly, it's not a subject that you can easily drop into a conversation.....but it is funny to watch the reactions when you do. Our children learn so much about sex at school, off the tv and even the net, yet in regards to their personal health, and sexual wellbeing, nada!

I know from experience, trying to seriously tell them about the different health checks to undergo isn't easy....their attitude of "i know all about it" is a tough one to overcome....but for the sake of our perspective grandkids, and i know i want a heap of them to spoil rotten before handing back to mummy, i've found it's enough of an incentive to persist with this "ugh gross" topic.

And amazingly, once they've had the exams, or tests, and realize it's really not that big a deal, the peer pressure works in a positive manner for a change...they each encourage the others to do the same!! Sometimes i really gotta love peer pressure....but only sometimes. I haven't lost all my marbles just yet.

We are casting families to participate in a new documentary for the Discovery Channel.  We are looking for families with “boomerang children”.  Are your grown up children driving you crazy because they won’t leave home?  Are your older children disinterested in finding a job and mooching off of you?  Is your 20-year-old eating you out of house and home and doing little to contribute?  Do you ever wonder when your children will move out and look after themselves?  If so, we would love to hear from you.  Also, if you know of someone who fits this category, please feel free to pass on my details.  We are looking for a family to film for one day in late August. 

Thomas Jenkins Development Researcher  e: thomas.jenkins@shinelimited.com t:  0207 985 7082 a: 108 Palace Gardens Terrace, Nottinghill Gate, London W8 4RT 

Share and inform - this forum is a great place to keep links to relevant information on keeping out kids safe.

trying to get our "little one" off to high school. Worried about the change. The older one transformed literally overnight. Hoping the other won't do the same - she's such a wonderful kid.