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where's my daddy?

by inn

06:28

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hi im INN, i've been a single mom since my baby boy was 6 mons old, now he is 3 1/2yrs. My prob is he doesnt know that a Father exist. he doesnt know what is a father. the father didnt come to visit or support us in anything. My biggest fear is that now my son has started his preschool, im sure one fine day his friends will start to ask question about 'where is ur daddy' and so on..so how do i cope? how do i answer?.. i dont want to hurt my baby's feeling but sometimes i think keeping it a secret is the best thing to do..am i doing e rite thing??

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	January 2008 \| winja

Re: where's my daddy?

well seeing as though your son is 3 and a half i imagine he has an idea about fathers already unless you dont have a tv or books.

most families depicted on tv and in books magazines and also your friends families have a mum and a dad. so maybe the fact that he hasnt said anything already shows that hes pretty happy with the way things are.

i think honesty is the best way to go just tell him that its ok that he doesnt have a daddy coz he has a mummy who loves him twice as much!

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	January 2008 \| inn

Re: where's my daddy?

hi winja,

yes of course we have tv n lots of books. n like u said e fact that he didnt asked me abt daddy is because he is very comfortable with the things surrounds him now,.

tq so much for the advise

luv, inn

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	January 2008 \| kiwikylie79

Re: where's my daddy?

my advise to u is wen u think the time is right sit him down and tell him that he has a daddy but his daddy cant be around but to just remember that he loves u ( even if he really doesnt ). as that is the way that i am goin to do it wen my son starts askin that also is wat i did wit my 8 yr old. he really seemed to understand and i told him @ 3

good luck darl hope this helps even just a little bit.

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	January 2008 \| inn

Re: where's my daddy?

tq kiwikylie for the advise, actually i did tell him that he has a father, i use the word father and he refers it to his 'grandfather'...

will try to explain it to him but the facts about love from his daddy??.. i think i might not want to confuse him even more..

tq, luv inn

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	January 2008 \| August88

Re: where's my daddy?

The thing is you can't keep this a secret forever so keep it simple. There are so many things that make a family and the nuclear family is not the norm anymore. It is a shame that the father cannot be a part of his life but this does not mean he will be scarred. I think secrets are more hurtful. You don't have to tell him what as a child he can't be expected to understand but you can tell him the people in his life that are around love him and that is what matters. I would not lie to him that is the main thing not to do I feel.

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	January 2008 \| inn

Re: where's my daddy?

tq for the advise august88, i know i shoudnt keep it a secret. But how to explain it to him. I dont want to complicate things further. He knows that everyone around him love him dearly. i really find it difficult to explain that he has a daddy and daddy is far away?/somewhere?..

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