Surely there are other ways of disciplining your child, than resorting to "spanking".

My mum used to hit me when i was a child and i dont think it taught me anything, well other than to try and run as fast as i could before she got to me!!!!

I dont want my son bought up being smacked by me, although his father has a different view to me and he is for it. So am unsure how that will work!

I am very much against spanking, even a 'tap' on the hand as some like to call it.

It would be very easy for me to just 'spank' my child! - I was spanked as a child, and it is something that I have to restrain myself with because I believe it is truely wrong!  When a child 'misbehaves', it can make the parent angry and without thinking, I think 'spanking' is a quick response to that.  I do not think it teaches the child at all what they did 'wrong' and how to correct that and do 'right'.  When my son does something he knows he should not to, I get slightly frustrated - mind you, he is too young to understand most things and is just testing his boundaries for the 100th time, but spanking is not the answer - if I were to 'spank' my son it would be on account of my own frustration over the matter and that is MY issue, not his!

As I mentioned above, I was spanked as a child.  And speaking from personal experience I can say it did not teach me a thing!  If I knew I was going to get 'spanked' for doing something I wasnt supposed to do, I would weigh up how much I really wanted to do it with the 'spank' and see if it was worth it - and most of the time it was!  If you spank, and it works for you - I have to say its because your child FEARS you, not that they have learned not to do what they did for the reason they are supposed to, but because they FEAR being 'spanked' - What parent wants their child to fear them? - I do not want my son to fear me!...I can also say, it taught me to hate!  When I was spanked, I HATED my parents.  I wanted to hit them as well and sometimes did!  If 'spanking' teaches a child anything, its to hit when you are upset with someone or they do not do what you wanted them to do!  That is what it taught me, and that is why I have to restrain myself when it comes to my son because I know it is wrong!  Often times, I would feel I  needed to run away from home.  Maybe if I ran away, they would love me instead - that is what I thought.  Maybe if I physically hurt myself, they would stop hurting me - at 8 I thought that!  Or maybe I could really hurt my parents and they would learn their lesson!...I was watching a documentary on BBC a few months ago regarding this subject, and the children on there were thinking the same things I thought as a child - it really upset me!  I do NOT want my son to hate me, I do NOT want my son to ever wish harm on himself or his family - I do NOT want my son to feel such things because of the way I parent him and by avoiding 'spanking' I feel I can avoid these same horrible thoughts that I had a child when I was 'spanked'...Spanking harbours anger and it teacher you to release your anger by also acting out physically.  I will NEVER lay a hand on my child in such a manner, I think it does more harm than good in the long run!

There are far better ways to instil dicipline into a child, teach them to calm down and quietly think about their actions, what they have done, and why they should not do that but rather something else more approriate - such as a 'time out'.

This is a very informative website on why you should NOT spank and other ways to dicipline your child by Dr.Sears:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T062100.asp

Yes it is a very contentious issue or whether it is ok to spank a child or not. It has received a bit of media attention lately. I have on the odd occasion given a spank when needed but never heavy handed just a light tap is enough to correct the childs behavior. Having said that my girls are at the age where i did need to spank anymore but they have learned that there are consequences to their actions. We are lucky in that the kids are usually on their best behavior when we go out in public.

When the kids were younger if they got a spank they were told afterwards why the spank occured and to this day the girls when they get in trouble will come to Natalie or myself afterward and will tell us what they did wrong and we give them a chance to nominate a punishment that is appropriate to the crime so to speak. This system works well in our house as it is then dealt with and everyone gets back to enjoying their day.

I spank, I dont hit, beat, or use emotional abuse, which is horrible to deal with!  I have never left welts, I have never drew blood.  My kids are good, they listen and they understand there are consequences to their actions.  I cant even remember the last time I spanked my 6 year old.  My 9 year old got spanked for lying to me about cheating on her math homework, I explained about if you lie then NO ONE will ever trust you.  I also told her she was being spanked because she cheated and then lied about it.  2 swats on her bottom, My mom said she learned that there was a direct hotline from our butt to our brain!  I agree, I can remember what I did to get spanked, and never doing it again. Just be carefull they are LITTLE!  It should not sting your hand to spank their bottom!  When we are at the store I DO NOT SPANK, I am not going to embarass my children, usually a good threat of I will spank you when we get home if you dont straighten up works. 

I also grew up being spanked when I did something really bad and so did my husband so before becoming parents we decided that if the need arised that spanking was not off the table.  I agree that spanking should not be done as a response to anger/frustration and to follow a spanking with a discussion.  I seriously do not beleive that a very young child understands time out and reasoning.  I applaud all the parents out there that never needed to spank their children and have well adjusted kids that aren't out reeking havock on the rest of society, but I do believe that there are people out there that deserved a spanking in their life time and would have done not only them a great service but the rest of socitey as well.  Kids need to know there are consequences to their actions and sometimes a spanking is the only way to get that accross.  I was quite the wild child when growing up but stayed out of many situations becuase I knew that if I crossed a certain line that the consequenses were not worth the risk.  I thank goodness for that because I avoided a lot of trouble in my life to initially avoid a spanking and later on appreciated it more because I understood how those situations could have affected my life.

In Canada you can be arrested for spanking your child! Not only is it against the law, but it teaches your child that hitting is ok, and it is not! I am dumbfound that  "LovingMommy" spanked her 6month old. All that bay understood was hurt. I know that some of you will be angered by what I am saying, but spanking is just another form of violence, and violence only begets violence. Strong words and looks of dissappointment go just as far with a young one as does a smack. Hands were made to hold to help to show love not to hit and hurt.

I was never smacked as a child and people would comment on what wonderful behaved children my mother had.My mother had 11 children and really must of felt like smacking im sure.i myself dont think its necessary and i have 7 kids.people constantly tell me how well behaved they are and i really believe my not smacking is the reason.It can be habbit forming to smack and yes my kids have tried to run out onto busy roads too,and i really do feel like giving them a good smack but its really unecessary to  physically hurt your child .it never made me a bad person by not being smacked

I'm against spankings, but not smaking a hand that reaches for the fire....<ie>

spankings is a way for parents to deal with anger, not with the issue at hand.....

Personally i can't think of anything worse than spanking, never did it with my children and I fel that it is more a breakdown of communications rather than a good teaching tool, if you are getting close to spanking take a breather, count to ten and think of an alternative punishment or talk to the child in a reasonable manner, eplain why you are displeased and why you think they shoud be punished, in fact let them choose their own punishment sometimes it works wonders, and whatever punishment you decide on carry it through.

There is a huge difference between spanking (which I'm not against) and being cruel! I spanked my children when they were very young 6mths) for touching power points. It was the only thing that I could think of! I never had to do it hard or more then once thankfully, my key work for them doing something wrong wasn't NO it was UT! Never had to say anything except UT and they knew they shouldn't do it!. But other then that I never have had to spank! I say to my daughter sometimes " I will smack you for that"and she looks at me horrified that I would even contemplate doing it! Lol but last week I heard my eldest (25) saying to her, "mum will smack u for that" and my youngest laughed and said "no she won't mums never smacked me" Even though she knows damn well I won't smack her she still behaves with the threat of one!

I don't think there is anything wrong with spanking/ smacking.  There is a difference between smacking and beating and I think that is where the issue has got all mixed up.  I was smacked as a child if I did something wrong and I think I turned out ok.  I smack my kids if they are very naughty and i must say it is very rare for me to have to do it.  I compare my 4 and 6 yr old to my sisters kids who are the same ages and they have don't believe in a smack, the difference in attitude and behaivour to their parents compared to mine is massive.  Mind you right now I can't even remember the last time I smacked my kids so it's been awhile.

my parents spanked me when i was younger never did me ne harm now im married with my first child and i plan to do the same reguardless of what the law says and when ur childs life is at stake u dont muck around by grounding or reasoning oh baby come off the road puhhlease.... u make them realise consequences are involved.. and a good spanking does just that!!!  ( of course u do follow up with y u did it and my favourite that my parent used to say it hurts me more than it hurts u and i did it out of luv)

I am a teacher for students with emotional disabilities- severe behavioral issues.  My husband was a behavioral consultant.  Both of us use time outs, loss of privileges, and loss of material items (computer, tv, ect).  However, there is a time when some children need a spanking due to the severity of the consequence.  My 3 year old decided she was going to walk  into our busy street.  Keep in mind she was looking at me in the driveway and smiling and she was going to walk into traffic.  I did not feel like taking away tv or giving her  a time out was the equivalent for almost getting herself smashed by oncoming traffic.

My husband now works for an agency SCAN- stop child abuse and neglect.  He hears about the worse of the worst.  I think there are times when you just need to spank- not beat- your children.

well when us kids were little if we did something really wrong we would get a spanking, everyone always commented on how well behaved we were and that i think is because muma nd dad disiplined us, as a result when we got older we never neaded to be spanked cause we behaved, but now i'm a parent i have gone from spanking to time out to this and that and found that just giving a swift smack on there rear end when they misbihave does the trick the best so i'm not wearing myself out with all the other crap, i use a mixture of warnings time out and spankings when neccesary, because i have no ill effects from being spanked as a child at all and others feel the same way, i think its only wrong when you do it out of just anger (eg haveing abad dayect) and going nuts hitting them to hard ect, i think kids are out of control these days due to lack of diciplin, us parents need to teach our children there are consequences for there actions and we need to teach them how to behave and respect other people and themselves, i think the majority of the population have turned into softy's and as a result crime ect is getting worse plus children are getting slacker and fatter

We respond to different things in different ways. Just like we learn from different approaches, some people are visual, others oral, other like written instruction. Some people respond to discilpline in different ways, talking will do a lot of the time exclusion works well and a tap on the bottom will get their attention if other methods fail. spanking should be treated like a nuclear strike. Last resort and after a series of warnings and must be applied in accordence to the given warnings. Random spankings launched on the basis of the issuers frame of mind will not be effective in the long term and may be emulated in the receivers actions in the future. Just like a good routine the rules must be clear and the path easy to follow to give the disciplinee ample opportunity to consider the best behaviour to achieve a result most satisfactory to them.  Ok, what I mean is be clear about why the child is likely to be spanked and give them warnings and time to think about, and choose a better behaviour.

This is a very controversial topic. Have you checked out some of the advice that have been written about it? Here, here and here are some advice.

I myself am not against spanking for the reasons you've mentioned. But only at a young age though when reasoning with the little one isn't yet possible.

  Apparently I was spanked for the same thing (running out into the road).  My mother said she had spanked me all of 2 times when I was little and I don't remember either of them but she says they saved my life too.  I'm not saying it's the right thing to do but in that circumstance who knows...my little one isn't running yet.  I plan on using other alternatives to spanking and I'm not exactly what you can do in that situation unless you remove them from such.  I plan on trying a toddler leash untill my  little one learns to respect such dangers.