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My son was diagnosed at 20 weeks with a Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH), which is a hole in his diaphragm, where all of the organs in the abdomin 'float' up into this hole & grow there, usually restricting the growth of a lung. After being told that the survival rate for babies with this condition is only 50% & that he may be blue & not breathing when he is born, I was sadly not looking forward to the birth.

I had to be induced at 40 weeks. After having two lots of gel & getting nowhere, they decided to break my water for me, which is something I never wish to experience again in a hurry.

At 7pm, they finally took me to the birthing suite & was 'bombarded' by several different doctors & medical students who were eagerly awaiting our son's birth. I was told there would be at least 10 Dr's in the corner of the room for Michael & 2 for me. I gave permission for them to video our baby's resuscitation, so as to be able to help other babies in a similar situation.

Two of my sister's & my hubby came into the suite with me. I was so overwhelmed by everyone that was in the corner of the room, getting the necessary equipment ready, that I totally forgot I could have pain relief. It was then that I became angry at one of my sister's who was with me, as she is a midwife & she should have reminded me!!! Much to my sister's disgust, i was given an epidural by a student, who was panicking so much, he had difficulty inserting the needle. A 5 minute procedure turned into a 20 minute one, because he had to stop everytime I had a contraction. Finally the epidural was in place. Thank god!

My family tried to have a nap, as nothing much was happening. I remember waking up at 1am, having a panic attack as i couldn't feel my legs. I don't know how, but I had forgotten I had had an epidural & that I was in labour!!!

I complained to the nurses at 3am, that I had a severe pain in my right hip & pubic bone. She just 'shrugged' it off & told me it was quite normal. This pain was gradually getting worse & the epidural was no longer easing the pain. 

At 4am, my contractions were very close together & the pain in my right hip was excruciating. The midwife I had, was lovely, but I needed more than the sweet " come on darling you can do it ", so my sister took over & this is when 'the real fun' (not) began. At 5am, I was getting very tired & kept telling everyone "there's something wrong, I think he's stuck".  Only to be told "everything's fine, just breathe & give us one BIG push". I was trying to give them "one big push", but nothing was happening, & I could feel my baby's head hitting my pelvis & I felt a severe pain in my right hip each time. And after all the pushing, I was getting nowhere & was even more exhausted. I could feel myself giving up!

It wasn't until I actually screamed at everyone in the room "Please help me, he IS stuck", that everyone 'jumped' into action & confirmed what I had been saying all along, that my baby was stuck!!!!  Someone was saying "she needs a Caesar", but it was too late for that. I had two so called Dr's (more like Butcher's) come in & tell me to push.  I had been pretty polite up until this time, & remember screaming at them " Are you deaf, I said he IS stuck!" To which this B****  of a Dr, screamed back at me " And I said PUSH".!!!!

Nothing was happening & so they put the vacuum on the top of my baby's head. And whilst I was trying to push, watched in HORROR as the B****y Dr, was explaining to the STUDENT Dr, how to use the vacuum. !!!!  So as I became angry I gave a really good push & heard a very loud "POP"! Here I was thinking thank god it's over, only to be told "Get ready to push again, the vacuum fell off". I didn't even get a sorry.! The pain in my hip was really 'burning' now & in the lovely position they had me in, I could have easily  shoved this Dr across the room, with both my feet, she made me that angry!

I used this anger wisely & with the help of a correctly positioned vacuum this time, our baby boy was born at 6.52am.

As sad as this is, I couldn't bring myself to look at him, as was petrified of what he would look like, as in blue. My sister the midwife was screaming at me to look at him. I heard a tiny little cry & looked just as they were about to take him to the corner of the room. He was breathing & was bluish/purplish & had a huge laceration to the top of his head from the first vacuum stuff up!!!!  I however, had a 2nd degree tear as our little angel was lying on his left side, facing my right hip!!! The reason for my severe hip pain!!!

Our little boy "Michael William" was placed on a ventillator & taken to the Special Care Nursery. I didn't get to hold him, but got to say goodbye to him through the glass of the NETS emergency trolley, as he was transferred to the RCH. This is the beginning of a whole new story, which is too long to write here, so will write about it in my blog on my homepage. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.