With my first baby, I had the benefit of talking to my friends and family and deciding what I did and didnt want. I didnt want a C-Section like mum. I didnt want to be cut like my best friend and my SIL. I wanted a natural birth with entonox and a TENS machine, and maybe water. And I kinda wanted a homebirth (but I wasnt brave enough to get past the scarey midwife). Or failing that, a birth on M5! No, not the motorway, our local hospital put you on the top floor (Maternity 5) if you were doing well, and moved you downstairs progressively if they had to intervene. M1 was the operating theatre etc! My aim was to stay on M5!!!
I went to NCT Antenatal Classes (excellent, recommend to anyone in the UK) and read avidly. I like being well informed. Information is power!
DH took redundancy from his job when I was in my second trimester, which in hindsight was great - like a second honeymoon once I was on maternity leave! The EDD approached. We got called in for the "Induction" appointment. I said it was my informed decision to wait for EDD +14. We got fully grilled until they had convinced themselves I really was informed. Here it is common to be induced at EDD + 10. But statistically most first time mums will go into spontaneous labour at EDD +10. So I wanted to give my baby plenty of time to come a few days later than the average. I had a feeling that this was a laid back baby - it had been a laid back pregnancy (those of you who know my DD1 dont laugh too loud at that naieve statement!).
In week 2 we opted for monitoring every other day. On day 12 we were due to go in for monitoring again. I got up at 8 and had breakfast. DH was having a lie in. Then I got a tummy cramp and the runs at 9. But they didnt stop, and so I talked thru the loo door to DH in bed. "Somethings happening! This may not be diorhea." We timed the contractions. 5 minutes apart and 30 seconds, in the first hour! After an hour I was pretty convinced that this was it. I tried to text MIL, who had texted me every day for a month with "anything happening yet?" No reply. Phone off, would you believe it! (Back on at 4pm!)
As per our antenatal training we rang the hospital "they're 5 minutes apart already". "Come in when they last 45 seconds". An hour was spent downstairs on DHs exercise ball with the TENS machine on. Then we rang to say we were coming in. I kept the TENS machine on but loaded the ball in the boot. Then followed an excruciating 30 minute drive to the Hospital in the city (they closed our local maternity unit 6 years before - I could have walked there in 3 contractions!)!
When I arrived, DH dropped me off at the door and went in search of an elusive and expensive parking space, taking 20 minutes and returning with what he could carry (but not the ball). They booked me in and I tried not to yell in Reception as I spelled out my GPs unusual name. They gave me a bed, and DH arrived in time for my internal exam - 4cm. They brought some food, but I was losing my appetite fast, so DH finished it!
Then they moved me to the labour suite. I tried a bath, but it meant taking off the TENS machine. They gave me entonox but the cylinder was empty. By the time they believed me and replaced it I was panicking a bit. So I got out of the bath. I stood looking out of the window, and the contractions built. I found it helpful to squat on a stall I'd brought - it hurt more but lasted less time - a good trade off IMO! Then the midwife changed shift and a new one came in. It was not encouraging to see that she had tipexed out "Trainee" from her name badge - a Newbie!
She wanted to monitor baby's heartbeat, so I agreed to get up on the bed for a short while. Baby kept moving. I got back down again but soon she wanted to try again. She couldnt get a proper reading and got worried. I wanted to stay upright, but she laid the guilt-trip on me. So they atttached the clips. It hurt more. They couldnt get a reading. I was hyperventilating on the entonox.
They decided baby was struggling (of course it is, Im on my back trying to fire it to the moon, let me off, I want gravity to help!!!). They told me off for making too much noise - you'll upset the other mums. I dont care, they've all had their babies overnight (they'd told me already)!
They decided to break my waters. Noooo! The newbie, watched my her boss, broke them. But she agreed she might have failed and emptied my bladder instead. Right, we've intervened, you have to go downstairs, they told me. Nooooo! As there was a smidgen of doubt about whether my waters really had broken, they agreed I could stay and see. The contractions suddenly lurched into anthoer gear. Obviously that was not wee!
I was by now overdoing it on the entonox, breathing it in constantly and pretty drunk on it. I would not stop using it. The midwives left me alone with DH most of the time as they had others to deal with. They came back in later and I said I wanted to push. Dont be silly, i was told, its too soon. Next time she came in Id been fighting the urge for 10 minutes and DH insisted. "Baby's already down the birth canal" she exclaimed!
By now though I was into the groove of not pushing and found it hard to start. I was getting louder and louder, and they tried to take the entonox mask away from me. Failing, they switched it off!!! I pushed HARD - too hard, I tore.
Baby came out, a bit blue, and was whisked away with Daddy in hot pusuit but not having been allowed to cut the chord, for some oxygen and heat in the next room. She was brought quickly back and put to the breast, and latched straight on. Hurray! All went quiet.
They repected my wishes at last - a natural 3rd stage. An hour later the placenta arrived. The largest any of them had ever seen. No wonder DD was late - she was being well nourished by a very effective placenta! She was 7lbs 3oz and born at 6.17pm. After the placenta arrived, both the newbie and her boss admitted it was the first natural 3rd stage any of them had attended!
Then they wanted to stitch up my 2nd degree tear. The other tear (caused, DH is sure, by the monitor, which they'd fixed to the SIDE of baby's head - no wonder it didnt work!) didnt need stitching. The matron stitched it up as I refused to let the newbie do it. It took 10 months to stop hurting, so even she didnt do a good job!
Then I went with baby and DH for a bath. When we emerged, they were on a shift changeover and we couldnt find anyone to tell us where to go, so I went back to the labour room and DH went home. Half an hour later they found me "WHAT are your doing HERE?" I was moved to the ward and baby and I slept well, feeding every 2 hours.
The next day they took my BP - it was high! It had been fine for 9 months and now it was too high for me to go home. Gutted! DH arrived after lunch. They'd been trying to get a blood sample out of me all morning, but midwives arent good at that - I was bruised up both arms. The brought an anaethatist up from surgery to take the blood or they'd have missed the last intake of the day. The next day the took my BP without baby crying at the same time - nearer to normal. Blood tests came back ok. So they let me out.
I hate hospitals!
On paper it was a good enough birth. For me it was a loss of control. I had minor nightmares. I resolved to take more control next time!
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