Thanks Nell.  I'm only 29, and the thought of being on my own for the next 50 or 60 years is quite depressing!

The marriage wasn't good, but not hugely bad, but was dead for years before I left.  I do have a list of things I want from a new partner, and I'm not sure how helpful it will be...

*hugs* to you both excellent women.

I completely understand not wanting to be alone the rest of my life.  And I also understand the being so hurt you don't want to risk anyone coming that close again.

I think when you're still in the middle of hurt that moving on is just the hardest thing to contemplate.  You need to deal with yourself first before you can even look at being with another person. 

I think I was the most emotionally healthy and happy I had been in years when I met my BF.  I remember my ex accusing me of "trying to make myself happy" ever since he and I broke up.  Why on earth he thought me being happy was a bad thing, I really don't know.  But the fact is I was very happy when I met my BF and I think that's formed a really good basis for our relationship.

Interestingly, I was in a particular down place when I met and also when I married my ex.  Our relationship truly was born out of us both being in a really damaged state - and when I started to get healthy and stronger, and realised how unhealthy the relationship was, was when my ex and I had the biggest issues.  My ex couldn't handle me being emotionally healthy and happy.  My BF, on the other hand, not only can handle it, but he encourages me to be.  Thankfully, he is also good at supporting me through the nastier times. 

I just realised this might sound like bragging.  Definitely don't mean to.  The point is that there are good guys there, but I don't think you can have a good relationship until you can approach it as a healthy, happy person who is able to give themselves to another person.

And I don't think it matters if you're in a relationship or not cause I still love you heaps!

Leith

xoxoxoxoxo