Hello there, I asked my aspergers hubby about this, his answer, once he thought about it was!!!

"One needs to think things through. To much preassure to answer can cause stress. There are so many sides to think about, issues to play out, senarios to work through!!!!!!!!! More important things going on!!!!!!!!!!!"

That is my husband of course, his aspergers forces him to want to see all sides to any question in great depth depth to the point of frustration for those around,LOL. Some times the answer will come days later, when we are all talking of some thing else, it will just pop out, causing all to go ,Uh! what you talking about.

The other point he mentioned was, if in having to think on a different question, while focused on another it makes him irritable and stressed, so he can be grumpy.He does not always see the importance of having to break off, from his focus.

I dont really ask for immediate answers, I instinctively, just give him the question and hope he has the answer in a day or two!!! If not, then I make the decision, and logically explain why I did what I did. If he cant accept that, then tough, he can go throw paper around and rant at the wall, which is what he does,LOL.

Aspergers or not, I do not accept agression from him, ever. I dont care what the psychologists say, Aspergers can learn to control their irritations and find alternative coping mechanisims, it just takes strong support, and a willingness for them to work at it.

Best wishes,Luv Winnie.xxxx

P.S My hubby did not answer you personally, because if he did, you would still be reading three days later!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Mrs, my son and another adult family member are also "aspies". One thing that I have found is that they can take quite a long time to reach a decision. When put on the spot to make a decision quickly, they generally become rather nasty and rude, covering their tracks later on by saying "I WAS ONLY JOKING".  Although I am not an expert, when I want to get an important or any answer at all, I always ask them to please think about the question and that I will get back to them for the answer.

When put under any kind of stress at all, aspies do not fare very well. I have learnt this the hard way. Your hubby probobly wouldn't even think that he was being rude or nasty to you because aspies are rather self absorbed with themselves, yet again a trait that they can not help because they do not know any better.

to be honest I think you should start your life but allow for him to be there. If u want that house re sign the lease. it shouldnt be a prob to get it changed into your name.

if you feel he isnt of sound mind then look into other ways.

I only have a 6 year old son with aspergers (we know it is this, but havent had the diagnosis yet) but I have bipolar and a personality disorder and if I was to do this (as in ur hubby) I would want my family to be happy and safe.