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I just thought I would blurt out my story and hope it helps someone. Our little roo latched on to the breast pretty much straight away. My Mum who had been a trained nurse,midwife and of course mum,had encouraged me to toughen up my nipples,with witch hazel,as she was aware of the problems of first time breast feeding. After five day's I had blisters on both nipples. I showed the midwife but she said that was very common and that I should keep going, it will subside soon. She recomended nipple guards. So with nipple guards on I set too with teeth firmly clentched. Roo would not latch. Tried different makes,still no latch. My Mum who was staying with us,suddenly took ill and was whisked off to Hospital,shouting, remember whats best for mum is best for baby,you have choices. Four day's later I started to bleed,the midwife was not concerned and gave me some lame advise about using one breast only for a day or two. Now I'm bleeding from both breasts and feeling really sore and angry. So I am at home alone,hubby is working away for a couple of days,Mum is in hospital and Im not allowed to visit, because of the type of ward she was on, (Bowels). So I hop next door, drop bub off and head to the super market. I stand in front of the baby bottles and burst out crying. Howling in fact. A lovely lady comes over and puts her arm round me and asks what the matter is. I Explain that I have come to buy milk and bottles but know realise I dont know what is what. She gave a little laugh and explained about formula and what her daughter's used.We picked SMA Gold and told me to buy a couple of different bottles,just incase,bub had difficulty with the teat type.We pick out steriliser and all the cleaning tools. I paid for them and she came home with me and showed me how to get started. There are some real live angels in this world. I went next door to get Roo who was demanding food and she gobbled her first bottle and I swear she smiled. The next day I went to the docs,who had a complete fit. Both breasts had become infected and I needed anti-biotics. She had harsh words with the mid wife. Later that day,the family was called to the hospital.My mum was dying and she only had weeks, they were flying her home,the next day. I literally lost my milk that night,boom gone not a drop. So we got the bottles just in time,as I would have had nothing to feed Roo that night and the shops would have been closed. My Mum believed I had made the right decision and so did I. Also the great thing was that my Mum got to feed her first Granchild a few times before she died. It also meant I could spend time in the Hospice with mum and leave Roo insafe hands at home,when it became too much for her to have baby around. I also ended up bleeding and infected with Piglet. I tried to breast feed and that is it.No guilt no justifying,you just go with what is best for mum and bub.Happy mum happy bub.Happy bub happy mum.