Interracial Kids

 ...but I am also fully American. English is my first language. I do not speak Spanish, but it's not because I am ashamed of my culture but rather because my parents never really spoke it except to talk around us and I didn't grow up around it. I was also born in New York, but I do not talk like Rosie Perez. I do not snap my gum, or wear hoop earings. I do not cook chicken, rice and beans every night, nor do I make a Spanish meal every night. I do not listen to only Latin dance music. I do not need a green card to live in this country, nor do I jump a border or sail here on a raft made out of metal cans and banana peels. I do not yell out, "Ay Poppi!" during sex or whenever I am turned on, although I think my husband might like that.  I am, as a matter of fact related to mafia, but no, I do not know them personally, nor can I send them after you. I have never been in jail or in a gang. Yes, I do sometimes carry a knife, but usually only because I stuck it in my pocket after doing something around the house. My husband does not boss me around  - I am not his servant. Nor do I boss him around. I am not Mexican or Cuban or Spanish, and no we do not all look the same. No, the Puerto Rican flag and the Cuban flag are not "the same thing".  And yes, I am related to Geraldo Rivera, but for that I apologize. Did I forget anything?

   I plan on raising my boys, along with my husband, as proud to be who they are - kiwiricans. We are going to celebrate their tri-culture. They are equally kiwi, american and puerto rican. They are not white or hispanic based on the color of their skin. If you don't like it, shut your mouth and get over it. I am proud to be married to a strong, "white" man. I did not marry him because I was ashamed of my culture or racist against any other culture. He did not marry me to get a green card. (These are real accusations we have faced.) I married him because I love him and he is the man whom god has blessed me with. His family is my family and my family, at least part of it, is his family. Those who refuse to recognize him as my husband or the father of my children or the man of the house, simply because our cultures are different can GET OUT!

Sorry. I'll stop now. I just needed to get that out of my system. Love you guys!

i am white, my wife is american-born puerto rican.

we have 2 kids- 1/2 white, 1/2 hispanic. born in america, they are 1/2 american, but also 1/2 kiwis (i was born in NZ).

SO, are my children white, or hispanic? one is light skinned with dirty blond hair and grey/blue eyes, and the other is brown-skinned with dark hair and brown eyes. is one white and one puerto rican? or are they both "mutts"?

we try our best to educate them about ALL of their heritages: american, puerto rican, and kiwi. teach them their flags, languages, and histories. my spanish is rusty, it's been years since i was at a conversational level of spanish, but we do the best we can, and teach them little words here and there.

as boys, they are into sports, so they are Yankee fans for baseball, USA Eagle AND NZ All Blacks fans when it comes to rugby. fro american football, they are Jacksonville Jaguar and NY Giants fans, and for college football, they love the Florida Gators. We encourage them in their love of sports, and their teams.

when it comes to family though, it's a different matter. the in-laws have had some problems with me over the years. firstly- i am probably the wrong colour if they would have had the choice in who she married. when we got married, my visa was not finalised for a few years, so for the first 9 months or so of solomons life, i was mr mom, and my wife worked. that was a great bonding time for me and my son, but not so much for my new extended family, who didn't understand that sometimes immigration takes longer with some people. i recently had a conversation with my father in law, who called me british. i replied "i'm not british, i'm from new zealand". (he should know this, right? i've only been married to his daughter for 5 years!) his response? "well, you're not american!" well then. attention all non-american minti parents: you just be british! ask my father in law!

it's s struggle, and sometimes i feel guilty about trying to make my sons feel proud to be white. i'm not about white power or anything- but i don't think one colour should be favoured over another. they're my sons AND my wifes... and they are a beautiful mix of colours and cultures, and should be encouraged to be proud of everything they are.

just to clarify- my wife and i work and stand together on this, it's outsiders making it hard on us, we're just trying to bridge the gap :-)

i think we both grew up with racism in our lives. i suffered at the hands of other white people. my first teacher when we moved from NZ to england would not hear me unless i talked with an english accent. (i was 8). i have been a nomad most of my life, never really having a place to call home, or a people to call my own. in my work in the uk, i dealt with a lot of jamaican and black people, and so had to deal with the stigma of being a white man in a black man's world. now, living in america, i'm still a foriegner, and am constantly reminded of that. if i move back to NZ (which is possibly in teh cards down the line), i doubt i'll be viewed as a kiwi. my accent is not really kiwi anymore, more a mix of kiwi, brit, florida and new york.

hopefully by then, some poeple wiull be able to look beyond an exterior and a label, and accept someone based on who they are, not what society deems them to be.

I love my children so much, but they are not white! lol, I'm half Mexican and half German.  My babies are half Guatemalan, 1/4 Mexican, 1/4 German, yet the family calls them white!  I have nothing against that side of my family, infact it's my mom who is a "honkie", and I love her to death.  My in-laws always say how white they look, and I dont want them growing up thinking they are "white" but mixed, Latin and Eurpean!  Not to mention my neice, who is 100% Guatemalan looks more like a "white" girl then I do...I love my family, I just wish that they would say they are spanish too... :)

Being interacial often means having different traditions for the holidays.  For me christmas is now somewhat different with my in-laws, though still very wonderful.  How has your holidays changed for you?

What does it feel like when you are the parent and you feel left out because you are mixed?  Sometimes it does not matter, other times it can bring you down.  It's so important to have support from your family, I'm blessed that my in-laws all love me, as I love them and that they don't see me as being different.  My daughter is more latina then I am and it makes me proud to see how much she does not even know, though she is only 20 months :)  When she gets older, I know that she will learn that being mixed has no importance, just being a good person is what is important.

I am Aussie, hubby is Maori so we call the kids mozzies!
I hope the kids grow up proud of who they are, cos I sure am proud of them.
Hubby worries about them. He dealt with rascism growing up but it doesn't seem to be an issue so much. (He would say - spoken by a white!)
Most children in this area are inter racial and tbh I think it makes for beautiful children.

yes me again going on about Australia day. I started out at the lake for a swim with my two girls, everyone was there...mostly kiwis, mauris, islanders and of cause traditional aussie (polite way i guess) palagi's....yes that's me..

It was the most friendly happy atmosphere, everyone was so happy to be out and celebrating the day and to be a part of Aussie land whether citizen or not, everyone came out in the heat and had one awesome day.

If anyone is from Qld, Gold Coast/Bne - Evandale Park on the Gold Coast is the place to be on Australia Day. I think we are just in a great part of the world for mixed kids to be....it's part of our life here, everywhere you go there is a different race and everyone is friendly and happy...,my experience anyway..

When do you think it's a good time to introduce the different backgrounds of your child to your child?

Wanting to know who you are is something that all people go thru.  Wether it be your culture, creed, preferences, it's all apart of being happy with yourself.  I was never happy as a child being mixed.  Now I'm very proud, it took many painful years to come to love who I am.  I was never able to know my father, but my mom made sure I knew who I was.  I think it's so important to let you children know who they are.  If one parent or the other does not want to let them know where they came from, then the child can feel like they are not important.  I was only show the white side of my heritage so I became ashamed of being half mexican.  It was not until I meet my husband, who is Guatamalen, that I have learned to love that part of me too.  I think that if I was told as a child about my mexican side and that part was also nurtured, which was no fault of my moms, I would have though differently about myself all along.  Point is, just because you don't want to let them know who they are is no reason to not tell them.  If one parent does not want to tell the child part of their background, then they should ask themselves how would they feel if their parents didn't tell them about who they truely are.  I live in the USA and we pride ourselves on being a mixing bowl of color and cultures, but we should not be the only ones who should be proud of this.  The whole world should be proud!  Remember, we need to think of how our children would feel based on our disicions.  And ask your child if they want to know about their background.  If they are old enough, and you don't know what to do, let them make that desicion, but be supportive.  We are here to nuture them in every way, and to hide part of who they are is just like saying to them "I don't accept you and I'm ashamed of part of you."  I know it sounds cruewl, but that's how children view things when they don't know all of who they are. 

My daughter is a britisher, half kiwi and half african.  I have recently been found by the love of my life and we were talking last year about racism and how it affects children.  He said a few things I disagree with and I upset him by saying as much. 

He believes we should raise her in an awareness of her black heritage.  (I agree with that bit).  I said we should do equally with white, he said no.  (I disagree with that bit).  Maybe I am a bigotted white person - I sure hope not - I suffered terrible racism from the british while I was a teenager and it has made me really dislike that stance and until recently I have not noticed a person primarily for their colour.  To me colour and size are immaterial and often I cannot tell you if someone is fat or thin let alone black, white, green or brown.

Am I wrong to want E to be proud of who she is first, as a person with her own talents and abilities, then to be aware of her heritage after that?  I already give her african 'side' a lot of time being as I am the white half of her heritage so that she is comfortable with both.  Talking to my Dad over christmas, he said if anything I am overcompensating, but that as a single parent he cannot see how else to do it, and i am not being exclusive.  Should I be exclusive?  Should I put down her white heritage so taht she can cope with any bullying that may come her way?

I have known foreign people accuse me of making a racist comment for saying
'Hi how are ya mate?'
To me it is a greeting.  'Mate' being a cockney and southern hemisphere type of word I guess some people can take offense.....but accuse me of being racist?  Am I to deny myself and my own culture on the off chance that you may be offended, or am I true to myself?  Years ago I decided to be true to me, because when I pampered to peoples whims i got too confused...

Based on that I want my lovely confident daughter to maintain her ego, her perspective and her sense of self, to keep it healthy and be true to herself, not second guessing everyone who speaks to her for an insinuation that may or may not have a racist basis.  Am I wrong? 

I desperately need educating on what the right thing to do is.  We are in the UK at the moment, but if we move home or to the states or even to africa, then what are the cultural differences that I should bear in mind so that we can implement an awareness at least before we are bombarded with negativity. 

I know all of this is personal and subjective, but please try to be realistic so that I can implement things that are suggested instead of getting more confused.  I can only do my best for E, and my best is based on my personal perspective and experience, if i broaden my boundaries then I should be more aware.  Or should I just stuff it and expect others to step out of their narrow little lives?  I have pussyfooted around people for the past 18 years who are so parochial and their way is the only way....should I just disrespect them as they disrespect me?

Tempting, but doesnt really go with my personality.  LOL  Thanks for reading and all input will be muchly appreciated.
Peace
EF.x