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The first thing you might want to try to do - or rather not do - is say sorry. It's not your fault. Say you're saddened, not sorry. When my mother passed away I got so sick of hearing people say they are sorry, I started retorting sarcastically, "Oh, so it's your fault she had the stroke that killed her is it?" which wasn't good on my part, but I've since found in talking to people that have suffered losses like that it's a common way to start feeling.

As for doing something, keep in mind most people so young don't think about funeral plans. Funerals are expensive, and having the added stress of a financial burden on a family that is grieving can be the worst thing for some families to bare. When Mum passed away, friends and family arranged a collection and helped pay for the funeral - and we didn't even know about it until we got the bill that we didn't end up having to pay. That was the greatest gift they could have given my brother and I at the time. That might be an idea for you that could help out a lot. Every penny counts with things like that, and all good funeral directors are more than willing to assist with taking such collections.

I'm sorry if my comment seems a little cold, but it's just that I've been there done that so many times that I'm rather numb to things like this now.

I hope that you and your friend can pass through this grief period okay. It takes time, but it does get a little bit easier - eventually.

Loosing someone close to you is always a difficult time in life. Your best friend really just needs a shoulder to cry on. Let her know that you are there for her, to listen, to comfort and to help her thru this time. If you are able to go to the funeral and she doesnt mind you being there, then you should go. Your support will mean the world to her. You need to grieve aswell and saying final goodbyes always helps.

Just remember that the smallest gestures are sometimes the greatest. A hug can mean more than thousands of flowers, a shoulder to cry on can mean more than a million cards and someone to talk to who will really listen is priceless.

I'm sorry for your loss and i truly hope that your friends and family will pull thru this ok.

i'm sorry about your bestfriends brother...to die so young. Its  not a silly question and i would ring her and let her know that you  are there for her.It sounds like you were very close to the family and that you and your sister are very upset with your friend dying...if it helps you to go to the funeral and your friends family have no objections i would go....they need all the support they can get at the moment and for the next few months especially  while they are grieving. I suppose my advice is ring your friend and go from there...i wish you luck and again i am so  sorry for your loss.