Serenity Prayer for the Stressed : Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.  And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, because they may be connected to the ass I have to kiss tomorrow.  Help me to always give 100% at work: 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, and 5% on Friday.  And help me to remember when I am having a REALLY bad day, and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me.
Amen