For Daft People

Well, tafe ended abruptly today and one of the girls offered me a ride home, just for something to do, so I said yeah, we hit the freeway, in the right direction. We were talking and all of a sudden my surroundings didn't look familar anymore. We hadn't turned off the freeway at all which we didn't need to. So we end up turning around and thankfully and quickly figured out that roadworks had been done to extend the freeway from perth to bunbury and we did now indeed need to turn off the freeway which normally continued to safety bay rd, which now has its own off ramp! After a 40 minute deviation, I finally made it home safely.

Talking to Jeff about the baby chickens, I commented that it would be just my luck that they'll all turn out to be roosters. His response: "<insert shocked expression> OMG! That's the first time I've ever heard YOU complain about getting too many cocks!" I had no come back for that at all! Okay, so I walked right into that one....

...and this one...

Messing about with Jeff, he gets smart with me, I retort, "Bite me!"... and ended up with bite mark bruises all over both shoulders. Later on Jeff crouched down to get something out of the bottom cupboard and not realising what he was doing, I got in the way... and ended up with a bite mark on my arse as well! That phrase of sarcasm is now deleted from my vocabulary!

I must be tastey or something, because I also have one on my leg from Danny (I think he's teething) and a bite mark on my neck from BB (I guess that's what happens when I complain about everyone else biting me, he wants a turn too! LMAO). Apparently I also have one on my back that I can't see, but I have no idea who, when or how that one got there... ???

But the daftest moment this week came from simplyme01ca and her hubby. She and her hubby were packed and ready to drive off on a much needed holiday when hubby remembers at the last minute (as they were getting in the car) that he needed to make a business phone call before they left... but the company he had to call didn't open for another hour... so they wait... and then simplyme01ca remembered that they have cell phones and he can call from the car while she's driving. Cell phones - who would have thought they could do that! Mine only takes photos (deregistered sim card). LOL

 

Had a couple of dafties today, including some at work one including trying to walk through a closed flyscreen door!! Finished up work, grabbed my handbag, went next door and got a haircut, then went to the atm(which wasn't working)  to get cash but forgot to ask how much, so go back to the hairdresser find out, go to another working atm get cash, pay for haircut get home and sit at the computer! So far my day has been a little daft. The all of a sudden, I hear music and instantly thought, shit, i've accidently grabbed someones phone but not remembered doing it! Get up as I thought I should answer and return it. Turns out no, no phone in my bag! It was just my ipod switching itself on randomly. lol. All pretty simple dafties but have had many today and sure I'll have more!

Helen I had to actually join this group, I am not daft, maybe sometimes !!!!!

What on earth was Thomas thinking about surely he could tell it was not Simon, are you sure he didn't bang his head when he had his little accident. Helen your household has gone a little crazy

Lovely to see some laughter though

Love Mum

xxxxx

Following this accident of TJ's posted here www.minti.com/members/nell18-3/blog/1054690/Another-Night-at-A--E/

Thomas and I have been chatting on MSN to my brother in Iceland so you can imagine the teasing and banter which has been going on between uncle and nephew, with references to Thomas being caught out  by a ball before the wicket etc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, the Dr Calls and asks for Thomas, I have caller ID so I KNOW its the Dr

All I hear is Thomas say "Yes" then start to recount the story of how it happened............................then burst out laughing and say "Yea OK Hi Simon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I was like shouting "No Thomas its the DR for real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Thomas sheepishly answers the doctor, "Sorry I thought you were someone else!!!"

I was doubled up with laughter.............

On the phone to a mental health line, I was asked by the operator if I could hold the line while she tracks down my case worker, yep, sure, no big deal. As she clicked me onto hold, the radio started to play. Typical. It was a radio station playing, the song was part way through and between chorus and verse (or vice versa). I hadn't heard the song before and just imagine my surprise when the first lyrics of the song that came over the line were "Shut up and die!"

OKAY!!! Yep, just the right sort of thing to have on hold when you're on a mental health line trying to get an appointment with your case worker who is keeping you sane enough to not throw yourself off a cliff...

The receptionist asked if I was okay, I had to explain I was fine, just suffering from fits of hysterical laughter to the point of having trouble breathing... I could tell when I finally got past the laughter enough to explain it to her that she was having trouble not laughing about it as well.

Funny, everytime I phoned after that they didn't have the radio on. Wonder why? LOL

I have a funny story to make you laugh........
Amy came around and decided to take the boys, herself and I to Pizza Hut for a meal
Amy works there so all the staff were lovely and friendly
So later Daniel and I decided on a lesser dessert than the rich and filling concoction Amy and TJ wanted.............
so we went to the self service ice cream factory!!

The ice cream machine was empty, so the waitress said she would fill it and asked us to return in 5 minutes.............
Couple minutes later Amy told me the ice cream would be ready now as the lights on the front were no longer flashing...............
It was a set up!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She knew the ice cream spits if it hasn't had time to harden
So she watched me go to the machine, expecting to see a little ice cream spit and splash onto my bowl..................
But course this is me!!!!!!!!!!!
If its going to go wrong, it goes wrong BIG TIME!!!!!!!!!!
The machine spat ice cream completely ALL over me!!!!
It was in my face, in my hair, all down my top, all over my jeans and all over my shoes!!!!!!!!!!!!
I looked like I had been in a severe snow storm!!!!!!!!
Can you imagine the reactions of everyone!!!!!!!
First there was silence................
Then I just burst out laughing, to the point of having to sit down so everyone else was laughing too!!!
I then walked with great dignity to the Ladies for a MASSIVE clean up!!!!!

BB tells me he's going home for the night, leaving in a few minutes. I immediately pick up the phone and call Jeff. (I was about to anyway) The convo goes something like this...

Jeff - Hi.

Me - (in a slutty phone sex type of voice) Hiii. You have something I want, reeeally baaadly, tonight.

BB, evesdropping, is starting to get a strange expression on his face.

J - (sounding baffled) Huh?

Me - It's reaally big, has a huuge girth, is hard, gets nice and hhhot...

BB's expression is getting a little strained.

J - (interupting and sounding cautious) Ummm....

Me - (casually and matter of fact) Yeah, it's made of metal, has a glass lid, and is good for cooking pasta sauce in.

BB chokes on his drink.

J - (relieved sigh) OH! The large cooking pot, okay, I'll bring it back later tonight if that's okay with you.

Hehehehe! I'm so naughty!!! Got them both in one hit!!! Whoohoo!

when I wished I'd kept my mouth shut!

This one is all about time, and I was reminded of this by simplyme01ca's blog "Where does the time go?"

Aidan commented that when he was younger it seemed to take ages for even a week to go past, and yet now the weeks seem to fly by. Why is that Mum? Is it something about how we think as we get older?

The only logical explanation I could think of was to suggest: Maybe it's because our memory improves and we remember better what happened last week as we get older, thus it seems not as far gone as it might have earlier in life, or something like that... maybe? Like when you're 3 years old you only have 3 years of life to try to remember, but that 3 years is your whole life! Now that you're 9 you have to remember 9 years worth of it, that's 3 times more than when you were 3 years old. What do you think?

Aidan's response: "Well if that is the case Mum, time must go by really slowly for you, your memory is shocking!"

(sigh)

We were out in the yard and talking about plants, as you do when you're working on a garden. I made mention of a plant that Mum had in her garden and said she'd gotten rid of it. He didn't quite hear me right, thought I'd said "we'd" gotten rid of it. He was looking for clarification as to whether "we" was me and Mum, or me and my brother after Mum died. But he left out half the words he intended to say. What he wanted to say was, "Did she remove it before she died or did you remove it after she died?" But instead it came out as...

"Did she remove it before or after she died?"

My response: "She removed it after she died of course. Like as if anyone would remove something from their garden before they died! I dunno, that's a stupid idea that is! Who'd want to spend their life removing plants from a garden? It's far better waiting until you're dead to do things like that."

He looked at me perplexed, I'm not sure whether it was due to the realisation of what he'd said or my sarcastic response, most probably both, but he sheepishly recovered with, "Well, I didn't know if she came back for it afterwards! She might have decided that she wanted to take it with her!"

LMAO!!!