:: From REactive to PROactive :: Reactive parenting is like an airplane on auto-pilot flying off-course: to set a new course you must first get control of the plane on its *present* course. That means, paradoxically, that you can avoid an unwanted reaction by deciding to do it *deliberately*! Example: You're about to yell at your child, and you can't stop yourself. So you decide to yell *on purpose*, with the full force of your deliberate intention! BUT... You alter the outburst in some way that makes it benign, like singing a really high/loud note instead of yelling, or changing your words to "Blabbety! Blabbety! BLAH!" Anything that works *with* your emotional energy rather than against it. Once you've shifted from REactive to PROactive, you can direct your energy *consciously*, in accord with your ideals. This technique is not a panacea, but it works especially well with *mild* reactiveness -- often turning potential conflict into playful fun! http://dailygroove.net/reactive-to-proactive --> Get "The Daily Groove" book! http://www.enjoyparenting.com/book Feel free to forward this message to your friends! Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle