LOST BABYS

I found out in January 1996 that I was pregnant. I was 19 years old, recently engaged, and absolutely delighted that I was expecting. I went through the normal pregnancy woes with morning sickness and the whole 9 yards. My doctor's normal practice was to do an ultrasound at the very beginning to get a better handle on just how far along his patients are and everything looked perfect in that first scan. Baby had a strong heartbeat and everything. I set out doing what all parents to be do, shopping and getting ready. I loved being pregnant. I bought maternity clothes and wore them way before I needed to, just because I wanted everybody to know that I was expecting. I got married at the beginning of May. I was showing then and felt good that my baby would be a part of my wedding. The following Monday I had my second ultrasound and everything came crashing down. I remember the doctor's face looking concerned as he told me that I didn't have enough amiotic fluid. The room started to spin. I don't remember much more of that visit other than he was going to set me up with a neonatologist. The next week was a haze. I walked into the appointment with the specialist thinking that he was going to tell me that my baby was going to be ok. He first told me that I was having a girl. Then he told me that my baby girl had Polycycstic Kidney Disease. He said that it is a rare genetic kidney disorder and that I would almost definately miscarry, and if I didn't , she would never be born alive. His next question was did I want to terminate. After looking at him like he was some kind of alien, I said "Hell No- do you think your God?". He told me that to hold out hope was foolish, I told him I believe in miracles. We left it at that. I walked around waiting for what this doctor told me would happen but praying for God to heal her. I chose the name Christina (little Christian) Hope (because with God there's always hope). The miscarriage never happened. She was very active and I felt her constantly moving. I went into preterm labor and they were able to stop it till I was 33 weeks pregnant. On August 22nd, 1996 I gave birth to my Christina. She was alive and let out 1 beautiiful cry. They took her to the NICU and hooked her up to tubes and did tests. The diagnosis was confirmed. She had cystic kidneys, no bladder, her heart was weak, and her lungs couldn't function on their own. In the time we did have her, which was 16 hours, I got to hold her, bathe her, sing to her, pray for her, touch her, and smell her. She was beautiful. Besides being tiny, 4lbs 5 oz, she looked perfect. I can still feel her skin today. She took her last breath in her daddy's arms on August 23rd. Darkness and devestation descended. On October 31st of 1996 I found out I was pregnant again. I went to the doctor for my ultrasound at the beginning and they couldn't find a heartbeat. They thought maybe I just wasn't as far along as I thought so they sent me home with an appointment for the next week to come back in to redo the scan. 3 days later I miscarried. My crazy thought as I was lying in the emergency room was "why don't my babies want to be with me? Why do they keep leaving me?". My family was not in favor of this pregnancy to begin with, so when I lost the baby they weren't supportive. I was supposed to just go on with my life like I was never pregnant. I fell into depression. Hard. I stayed in it until September 1997, when I found out I was pregnant again. I was a basketcase. I was certain that something bad would happen. Other than the doctor inducing me at 35 weeks because my son wasn't growing right, everything was good. My son, Henry, was born April 1st, 1998. We've had a few major health problems, but he seems to be growing out of a lot of them now. His dad and I divorced in 1998. After the losses we grew apart. He now choses an alternative lifestyle and wants nothing to do with our son. His Loss! I met my current husband in 1999. He has taken my son as his own. He sees me through the dark days of grief when they arise.

hi all .just letting you know i will be starting a group in the new chat place for all mothers who not only have troubles conceiving but also lost their babys .

hope to see many of you there .

the chat place is IMVU just google it if you cant find it then send me a message with your email adn ill add you my user name is mamalincoln.

i hope to chat with many of you there ,and make long lasting frienships .

sometimes a blog dont help a heart to heal.

i found this by change at ebay this lady does them for women like us who have lost their babies to early.they are little dolls and she engraves the date of birth or death in them .and you can name the baby on the hats .i bought one they are not cheap but its a great memory.

anyone wants a link let me know

Hi everyone

Our angel Taylor was born 10/17/07.  I was 39.5 weeks so full term (I was due 10/20)  We found out while I was in labor and they were trying to hook me up to the heart monitor that she didn't have a heartbeat.  We of course were devastated and VERY shocked.  The week prior she was fine during my normal appointment.  Heartrate fine and everything.  Something happened in that weeks time and we aren't sure what happened.  We just celebrated her birthday last Friday and it went pretty well and I hope that it is a sign of our healing.  We of course will never forget her she is a part of our family but we are going forward in our grieving process even though it was a long road to get to a year.

I hope to get to meet other parents who have been through similar losses and share our coping tips as well as just allowing each other to just let it all out.

Jen :o)

Very soon marks 4yrs since we lost of baby boy Logan. We lost him at 24 weeks due to placenta problems. He was stillborn. I'll never forget him.

He also was our first which made it even harder.

He has 4 other angels with him, a miscarriage in March of 2005 at 6 weeks, a miscarriage which ended in a D&C at 6.2 weeks in June of 2005. We then went on to have our beautiful daughter Brianna who was born at 33 weeks.

Just recently on the 2nd of this month we lost twins at 9 weeks, I had to have a D&C. It took us 2 years to conceive that time and we are still upset but forever grateful and blessed we have our beautiful daughter.

We're going to try again very soon.

Sorry to all who have lost a baby :(

-Sarah

 2 years ago i lost my baby Arthur. Before Arthur i had 4  great pregnancies. Nothing really wrong with them. One pregnancy i even had twins who were healthy. Arthur was born 2 months early. He was so small. The doctors figured he wouldn't last more than a few hours, but Arthur was strong. His lungs were the worst. his raspy breathing always made us cry. after he was born he got some fluids down in his lungs they couldn't remove which added to his lung problems. When he was only 15 days old he died from lung failure. they operated on him 2 times in his short life.  I think about him every day and miss him deeply

Today marks a year since i miscarried. You can read my tribute in my blog here

I was not aware this group existed!

Anyway, I guess I am here after suffering a number of miscarriages. My first miscarriage was in 2004 (around 8 weeks) and not a day goes past that I don't think about it.... I a blessed with a wonderful 22 month old son and we just started trying for another child in December. I got pregnant straight away and was so excited.. but I miscarried at 5-6 weeks. I left it a couple of cycles and got pregnant again... and miscarried at almost 6 weeks. We wanted to wait for a couple of months before trying again, but I just found out I was pregnant last week...  and I have miscarried again today at 6 weeks 2 days.. So 3 pregnancies and 3 miscarriages in less than 6 months!

I know the pregnancies have been fairly close together (too close!),  and I guess if there is any consolation whatsoever I am thankful that if it was going to result in miscarriage it happened really early... Despite this, it has been a rollercoaster of emotions and I am confused, numb and my head hurts trying to come to terms with it all. I am also trying to get hubby to talk about it, I know he is hurting too but he keeps it all to himself!

I am newly returned to Minti and am here nervously.  I joined in 2006 when I was pregnant with our first baby and left shortly afterwards in February 2007 because we lost our little boy, Ally, in a late missed miscarriage.

I became pregnant again in July 2007 and we were delighted, but our daughter Elisabeth was born prematurely following a car accident and survived for only two hours.  She was born and died on 16th December 2007.

I joined a bereavement support group on the internet but have found that it is perhaps not the place for me and the support is often conditional on agreeing with other people and letting them break the rules of the site to suit themselves. 

I remembered how supportive the people on Minti were while I was pregnant with my son and was hoping maybe you could again be my friends and my support group.

We are currently fighting a case against the driver of the lorry that crashed into our stationary car and injured me enough to make us lose our daughter.  It is not an easy time and any support you could give me would be appreciated.  I will try to support you all in return.

Thank you for listening to my story.  I'm not sure if I am allowed to join as we have no other children but we would like to try just once more in the hope of having our family.

Hey all, i'm very new to this.  Umm unfortanly i did have a miscarriage in march this year and i still don't think i'm coping with the lost.  I never thought it would happen to me but boy i was wrong! i was meant to be due on the 22nd on september. i think the hardest part to deal with is what could of been.  this is going to hurt me for the rest of my life. everyone keeps saying when are you going to try for another one? well i not thinking about now i still trying to deal with what has happened. anyway peace

leanne