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Groups » LOST BABYS » Blog

29
Dec
2006
rboo

a moment of your time :)

by rbooComment Published at 02:5902:592 comments2 comments75 Visits75 VisitsReport
hi there all
                     As you can tell this is all new to me, l'm just looking for a place to come for bit of a chat and hopefully obtain some friendships along the way. As stated previously in my setup details l am the mum of 3 children ( one of which is an angel).  There is Jiordyn my daughter who is 4 (going on 44 LOL) and there there is Maddigan (maddi for short) (maddi is our angel baby and she would be 2 now) and then there is the latest addition to our family, little Roarke who has just clocked over to 8 months old. As you would all know life is hectic but full of joy (most of the time lol). I am also looking for people whom l share my experiences with (with the regards to the loss of a child) but that is not my only agenda, through the last few years after loosing maddi l've had friends and even strangers go through this journey with little or no help. As l'm of the understanding bringing a child into this world is the greatest gift in the world as a parent and when that gift has been taken from us so suddenly, your world is shattered and torn apart, and then to deal with the attitude that "you'll get on with", "you'll have more children" this only adds fuel to the fire. So for the last few years I've taken it apon myself to hopefully make child and infant loss a widely know subject, as this is one of the subjects that is just not discussed unless its happened to you, (and the relevance is, it doesn't effect people until it happens to them) But the mother, fathers, siblings etc of these children want them to be acknowledged, so what l'm asking of all you wonderful folk out there who have been through a similar journey is,
what is the best way to do this???
l know myself when l lost my daughter there was no books on the subject at all ! (l'm refering to books on  other peoples experiences, As when you know of other peoples loss it make you feel that no your not the only one in the world that this happens to)
so l'm looking at trying to put a book together with my own experiences aswell as others experience, but l would like some feedback on how you beleive this would be received within the community? (and l do understand that for some people that this would just be too heartbreaking to relive)
so please feel free to add a comment or give some advice as l'm hoping to try and pop in each day to see how all you wonderful folk are travelling
thanks for taking the time to share a minute with me
beck

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AllthenewsIneed
February 2007 | AllthenewsIneed
Book

I found out my son had died at my 20 week scan four weeks ago and since then I have felt lost.  I use books for everything and would welcome a book like this to help me cope. 

There are things I would like to ask and things I would like to tell but other than Minti I don't have a way to do that.  Like, would I be in pain during my labour (I was for about five minutes but the nurses gave me morphine as soon as I asked for it and after that there was no pain at all).  Will I be in a private room (Yes) Can I see my baby (no, the nurses thought his condition after the birth would be more distressing) Can we provide an outfit for him to wear (Yes and we got to leave a teddy bear for him to be buried with too).  Is there a place where we can record his name and let someone know he existed (Yes, a memorial book and a statue in the cemetary - and here, we called him Ally MacRae)

The one answer I need and don't have is how will I cope, how will I recover from this (I don't know).  So a book of good advice from other parents have coped would be a Godsend right now.



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Raychie
December 2006 | Raychie
a moment of your time :)

hi there..

i lost my lil man in april 2005 and i found that there was only book written by drs offering there advice on how to move on.. nothing more.. when i was pregnant with my first i went to the4 antinatel classes and they never not once mentioned the possiblitiy of losing your child.. and after losing sammual the hospital offered vedry little help.. they sent a midwife to my house once she asked stupid questions like "are you ok".. "how often have you cried".. and then she asked us about weather we were going to cremate and suggested that we might jus want the hospital to take over and put our lil man in a hole with other babies that have died.. and after all that she told us that if we chose that we wouldnt be able to visit him as they dont put names or headstones for any of those babies..

i believe that people need to hear jus wat can happen, and they parents going thru it need to know that they are not alone.. as it took me along time to realise that there were alot of other people going thru it..

my partner and i will stand by you in everyway to push this out in the open so others know they dont have to go it alone.. also people need to realise that children know more then we ever realise. my 3 year old still cries for her brother and tell us she misses him.. i find her with his photo album and his personal things all the time..

i think what yur doing is a great idea..

regards raychie



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