Hello - i love this idea and have decided to give it a go. i have a very spirited 4 year old who has been having a hard time adjusting to his new sister - i think this will help!  re: yelling - i made a new year's resolution to give up yelling...at my kids, hubby, whatever.  i did really well through Feb. but have slacked off in March, so this will help me recommit.  Incidentally - yelling is the hardest thing i've ever had to quit, ever.  quitting smoking a few years ago was difficult, but a walk in the park compared to giving up yelling!!!!

anyone else just now getting started on this?

I am back and raring to go.  What has happened in here though?  Seems to have gotten quiet while I was off Minti.  Hmm, I hope you all are getting quantity of quality time with your children and significant others each week. 

As I have been catching up around Minti I have noticed how often spending quality time is mentioned along with millions of different ways to do it, be it photography, craft, kitchen things, days out, travelling, movies and just decent bedtime stories and cuddles.

Looking forward to doing some more challenges with you all over the next few months.  This weekend is a holiday weekend in the UK and E and I found some money in my account today, so we went grocery shopping and bought loads of salad and summery drinks home for tea.  We have planned loads of different summery meals to have over the weekend and tomorrow will be heading for the abbey grounds for a picnic. 
Peace
EF.x 

Hi! I have a high needs 3 y/o and a very active 9mth old.  I have been struggling with his behaviour recently and decided that I think he is wanting a LOT more focused attention (see my blog here).  I am an at home mum so the kids get all my time (well, most of it) but I think it is the quality of the time that is the issue.  I am keen to follow some of your challenges and look forward to getting some tips off you guys!

We've made it through two challenges designed to get us to connect with our kids.  This week's challenge is to have a family game night!  So pick a game and have some fun.  We'll report back next week!

Okay, guys!  Time to check in (a week late!).  How did your family meeting go?  We held ours by going out to dinner at the restaurant of our kids choice, Fridays (gotta get those free balloons ya know!).  I served as chair.  We completed the initial chekck in.  Since report cards had just come out, we celebrated the hard work they both had done so far this school year. We closed by discussing whether anyone had any worries or concerns.  That certainly opened up some interesting discussion mostly between the two kids, e.g., "Nick comes in my room without knocking,"  "Hailey is always touching my stuff," etc.  With some gently guidance, they were able to discuss their concerns with each other and come to some agreeable solutions, e.g., "I'll knock before I come in to your room," "I'll be sure to ask for your permission before I touch any of your stuff," etc.  It was a productive meeting!

So, how did your meetings go?  Share your results!

Now that we have made it through our first challenge, it is time to gear up for another.  This week’s challenge is to hold a family meeting.  For those of you who are new to family meetings, check out this article:  http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/4483/Connecting-with-Your-Kids-Try-a-Family-Meeting/.   It gives some ideas, tips and resources on how to hold a successful family meeting. 

Feel free to post your plans or any questions you might have.  We’ll do a check in next week to share how we did :)

Okay guys, how did date night go?  I’m a little late posting here, but didn’t want to forget the accountability part of the challenge!  So, how did date night work out?  I can happily report that I successfully completed the challenge despite being sick and a blizzard.  Am I dedicated or what?!  My plan was to take my daughter to see Charlotte’s Web.  Unfortunately, we were unable to as it was not showing any longer at our local theater and it was too snowy to drive to one further away.  Instead, we did a little shopping and then had dinner at the restaurant of her choice.  What a wonderful time we had!  As I sat in the restaurant listening to her share all the current kindergarten gossip, it made me recall all the wonderful girls nights I had with my mom.  To this day, we still carve out some time while the kids are in school to have lunch and get in a little shopping. 

As we sat in the restaurant, I thought about what the future holds for my beautiful, bright and full of life daughter.  I really had a great time and so did she.  We ended with a little snuggle time on the couch while the boys were out for guys night.  So, how did your date night go?  Share your story and keep watch for this weeks challenge!

All in one!!!  I hope that this link works
Enjoy!
Peace
EF.x  

Just a quick entry for all Aussie's. The docufilm THE SECRET is on ch9 at 10:30pm saturday 3rd Feb eastern daylight savings time. I recommend it for anyone who is striving for change. TAPE it so you can rewatch it, you will need to. For everyone else, sorry. I will endeavour to write a bit about it soon. Take care all.

x D x

Hey guys!

I'm feeling refreshed today and ready to take on the TAC for this week!  You see, my kids spent the weekend with Grandma and Grandpa (THANK YOU MOM AND DAD!).  I had time this weekend to take care of all those little chores that pile up, consume my brain power and get in the way of me being totally present with the kids.  Not to mention I've been able to catch up with my blogging and Minti time.    

Jen and I had talked about maybe having a specific challenge each week that as a group we could try to tackle.  Here is my challenge for the week: to have a date night with one of the kids.  I used to do this more regularly but have fallen off the wagon.  I think I've blogged about this before, but my husband and I take turns taking the kids out on a date.  They each get a date once a month (when we are on track) with one of us.  The dates sometimes involve going to a movie, bowling, the mall or the library.  One of the favorites is a trip to the bookstore.  The car show is in town this week, so hubby is going to take the boy while I take the girl to go see Charlotte's Web.

So I challenge the rest of you to have a date with one of your kids this week.  Report back on your progress and the results!

It's always the person who starts something who needs it the most!  For the last four months i've been the primary caregiver for two boys who live on our street.  their mom works 60-70 hour weeks and i have her boys at my house from afterschool until bedtime (8-9pm) every night and for 12 hours on saturday.  just typing that feels insane, but honestly over time, i've gotten really good at managing a bigger family and the boys have become very integrated into our routines. 

this week the mom walked off her job (total burnout after that kind of schedule as you can imagine) and so she's back at home for a couple of weeks.  we had a big meeting on monday to transfer the mom power (the kids are so used to me being their primary caregiver and count on me for basic stuff) and their mom wanted them to understand she's back on the scene now.  all good.

naturally, with their mom home, both boys are totally psyched and happy, and so all four (her two plus my two) have been doing the afterschool to evening routine with her the last few days.

just having an empty house is making me realize how much energy i was giving and how tired i am of doing kids!  so here i am wanting to do TAC and i can't even bring myself to talk to my children let alone spend time with them!

i think it's a natural reaction to being on such major overload (and not realizing it) and then suddenly getting lots of peace and quiet.  i don't even know what to do with myself!

but tonight, madeleine and i went out to sell girl scout cookies and had a really good time together.  hopefully that counts for something!

sorry so long, folks!  didn't mean to write my life story here.

When the article was first written I thought what a fab idea it was. I know that although I spend most of my time with my kids, I always seemed to be doing more than one thing at a time. I have been able to sit down now, without feeling guilty, and just play with them. I am now trying to find more ways of spending good quality time with them. Last night I watched a docufilm called THE SECRET. WOW. It is all about how the law of attraction works, and how we can shift the way we think to achieve what we want in life. This group kind of fits in to that way of thinking. Allowing ourselves to immerse ourselves in our children, to have fun, to think in a more positive way has a snowball effect and we end up having more and more positive experiences. I hope that I can master this method of thinking and eventually pass it on. Again, thanks for the invite.

I put everything aside and spent time with my youngest just playing this morning for 1/2 hour and again tonight (although I was trying to finish a blog post!) and we played a game before bed. It made all the difference to her. And to me. I am so glad to be reminded to do this. Tomorrow, I'll take some time out for my oldest.

And as far as for me and MY time, Total Attention on MOM? Well, over the weekend I stole away twice. First for a well needed haircut (It had been 4 months) and then the next day for a pedicure. No guilt! YAY ME!

So far, so good.

Being part of the challenge is like having a big yellow light blinking in my face.

WARNING. WARNING. WARNING.

Put that magazine down and spend time with Christa.

Don't turn the t.v. on. Spend time with Christa.

I won't say I've done perfectly because that would be an out-and-out lie. But we've read more books and had more one-on-one time the past four days then we would have had without the TAC.

Christa may not be noticing the difference, but I am.

One way we can use this group is by checking in and letting each other know how it's going.  Another thing we can do is post articles or blog about what we're learning.  I'm going to write an article today explaining our "mission" and how this kind of focused time really works.  I heard from Mentor Mom and Tracey recently, so I think they will join us and bring their own good ideas to the mix!

One other thing we can do is tell each other when we come across an idea that really works well. 

The most important thing for me is that we try (if at all possible!) to let our kids direct our interactions.  I'll write more today about the benefits of doing it that way.  Okay, off to the store for milk before my kids and husband wake!

This sounds like a good idea.  Lightbee blogged about something like this and about being a positive influence on those around us here: Helping-others-look-better
(I hope that link works, seems half the time i post a link it works and the other half it doesnt, but I think I do the same thing each time, so who knows...)

Anyhow, I would like to try and combine the TAC with positive/affirmative action and attitudes.  Dunno if it will work, but just wanted to share my intention.  I saw that we are thinking of doing similar things, that is awesome idea.  Can one of our projects/targets be some kinda kitchen/cooking based type thing?

I am gonna shurrup now and go have another lie down with my girl.
Peace
EF.x 

Hi,

I have three children- the two boys are adult and my youngest is a teenage girl. I have mutiple disabilities. This surprisingly enough has many advantages when paretening ( as well as disadvantages but I wont dwell on them here).

My children, along with my husband have been my carers. So, you could say that I have been a 'captive audience' at times. They would have my full attention many times a day. Even though the boys no longer live at home, the eldest rings me constantly to have our chats ( the second preferrs the Texing). My daughter still helps out with the care of me, so we chat and chat and chat. We read together, laugh till we cry. Being disable has had it advantages, my family are very close. It is worth it to spend that extra time with your children while they are young as when they are adults that bond you forged with them will still be there.

I hope this makes sense. Till next time. Thank you for your time.

Okay, who's in? 

Last week I tried and failed so many times, we had a couple of real goers and did well with them, mostly early morning times when we were both up hideously early and wondering what to do with ourselves, but the rest of the time one or other of us invariably ended up asleep or on the phone to family.  Oh dear. 

This is a brand new week, shall try and try again, tuesday will be a breeze as mum and c are coming over for the day and we are hoping to see pj.  So there will be loads of together times where concentration is undivided and E and i can have some special time as well as everyone else getting special time with both of us.

I intend to get at least one session every day this week.  Am gonna aim for the early morning one since that is what worked last week.  Then after that I shall aim for the teatime, after teatime slot, as that was real fun when we did that today, ended up with horrendous noise and singing going on, well the singing was tuneful, the music left a lot to be desired....lol

How are others doing?  Have you all got this thing cracked?  I as so pleased with us last year when we did it so well each day for so long.  Note to self:  Life changes, must be flexible.
Peace
EF.x 

Have been struggling with having much time that is devoted quality time with Esince she has started pre-school.  Holidays and weekends are good, but afternoons she just likes to play herself and she is too tired for school time, and if I read her a book she often falls asleep.  but wanna get back into some good habits again as she will be starting school soon - so will need to be alert more of the day.....shall try to remember to blog our progress.
Peace
EF.x