A dear friend's husband died suddenly last week. He was coming home from work to celebrate their twin daughters' birthday--and he had a heart attack. He was only 45.

And I just don't understand it.

My friend has six children. The oldest is 20. The youngest is one.

I am not railling at the unfairness of life. I've lived long enough to know life is unfair. God and I have had the "I don't understand" conversation more than once. Many, many times.

I call my friend--her name is Roxanne and her husband always called her Rocky--and check on her. She's doing okay even as she wonders how she does this for the rest of her life. The nights are the worst because she and her husband liked to cuddle together at night.

I know how much my heart is hurting for Roxanne. I can only begin to imagine how much her heart aches.

I want to somehow make things better for her. And I know I can't.

So, I'll just stick close by her. I'll just walk alongside her. Cry with her. Try to think of the right thing to say. Say nothing when I can't.

 

The wedding weekend has ended.

Despite days of crazy Colorado weather--rain, hail, sunshine, and even some snow--my son and his bride had an outdoor wedding. Jenelle looked beautiful--and Josh got tears in his eyes when he saw her walking towards him with her father.

Little tiny snowflakes fell during the ceremony and then the sun came out when they said their vows. It was like something out of a romantic movie.

I've never seen my son happier.

Family and friends from all over the world (literally!) came to celebrate with them. The weekend flew by too fast--and then they were off a brief honeymoon in the mountains

Now they're back, packing up wedding presents and all the things Josh had left behind when he moved out. Tomorrow they head across country as husband and wife.

 

Tomorrow is Friday--Officially the beginning of the wedding weekend!

So far,

I've lost my cell phone (and found it after lots and lots of searching)

Jen, my future daughter-in-law, lost her wallet on the plane (and found it in Seattle--and it is now being FedExed back here--AMAZING!!)

Josh's flight was delayed 2 1/2 hours

Such are the stories of wedding...

The weather may not cooperate--but lots of friends and family are praying--and I am believing we will have sunshine and NO RAIN for the outdoor ceremony. Come what may, we will have a wedding and a celebration!

I blogged some more thoughts about all this over at my Mommy-Come-Lately blog. The entry is called So My Son's Getting Married.

6 days to go to my son's wedding.

I'm doing silly things like cleaing the the kitchen tile grout and having my husband touch up the paint on the walls and assemble new lawn furniture...company's coming and I want the house to look good.

In the midst of all the silly To Dos, I find myself being so amazingly thankful that Josh is so, so happy and so, so in love.
I've asked him several times, "Any cold feet?"

"No, Mom. We're ready for this. We want to be together. This is right."

I am so thankful he is so certain.

I know that a lot of hard work goes into "Happily Every After"--but right now, I want my son and his fiancee to enjoy being in love and anticipating their outdoor wedding against the backdrop of the Colorado mountains. Looks like the weather is going to cooperate.

The soon-to-be Josh and Jen Vogt

So, what does normal look like today?

I''m holding steady at 50 percent. Not multi-tasking, which is less than desirable for a mom--and really less than desirable when my son is gettng married in 12 days.

The minute he called to say he was engaged, I had a To Do list that rivaled my daughter's Christmas wish list. Here I am, with 12 days to go--and most of it isn't going to get done. That's what happens when you get sick and lose 2 months.

And I'm okay with that. I'm good at closing doors on the messy rooms when company comes to visit. I'm good at delegating chores--or just realizing they don't need to get done. And because I'm still recovering, I just don't have the emotional energy to worry about too much right now. That's a good thing too.

I did find a dress--and I made sure my three daughtes and my mother-in-law found dresses too. That was quite enough shopping for me, thank you. Someone told me that the mother of the groom is to wear beige and blend into the background. My dress is a light yellow--so not quite beige. But I don't intend to steal a moment of Josh and Jen's day. It is all about them

I blogged a few things I wanted to say to Josh over at my Mommy-Come-Lately website. It's called Things to Say.

What I thought was the flu was something quite a lot worse.

Am not even close to normal.

Boy, do I miss normal.

I miss being a mom and a wife and a writer--and just having my normal life.

And, yes, my son is still getting married in early May. Gotta' get well so I can dance at the wedding. That's reason enough.

I've missed my involvement at Minti too.

Slowly but surely I'll be back.

 

My word for 2007 is Simplify.
Every time I pause and take a breath, life looks more complicated.
I shouldn't be surprised.
If I took a Minti poll, I bet a lot of us feel that way.
In the midst of all the busyness, I keep thinking, "I have a lot to be thankful for."
I am, by nature, a glass half empty kind of gal. But, I am by choice, a glass half full kind of gal. I am choosing to be grateful.
Yes, my flu lingers on.
But it is just the flu.
Yes, my son is getting married in 8 weeks. How crazy is that?!
But, he is in love and his fiancee is his best friend and they registered at REI of all places--an outdoor/hiking/camping store of all places! You have to laugh! What about dishes and sheets?
And there is lots to do and never enough time...but I'd rather be busy than bored.
Wouldn't you?

I believe all moms should be exempt from colds and viruses and fevers and any other illnesses. To read more, check out my Mommy Musings blog. (I never did figure out the RSS feed.)

I'm down with the flu, having to ignore all the things I have to do. It will all be waiting for me when I'm up and at 'em again. I'm ready to be back to normal.

 

My son is engaged.

The wedding is planned for May 6th--a few short months from now.

I love Jenelle, his future wife, and know that she will bring new beauty to our family.

Big changes are coming.

Even as I write those words, I realize I have no idea--no idea--of just what those changes are.

Funny story:

When Josh was about nine years old, he told me he couldn't have a girlfriend yet. I asked him why.

"Well, I know I have to have at least a hundred dollars in the bank before I have a girlfriend," he replied.

I'm not sure how he figured out girlfriends cost money.

 

Sent Christa off to school today loaded down with Valentines for her classmates and cookies for her class party and goodies for her teachers.

Last night she sat at the kitchen counter and colored her unicorn Valentines and wrote her name in red.

Back when I was in school you addressed each Valentine to each individual classmate. Not anymore. It's easier to leave the cards unaddressed so the child can hand them out without having to match the right card to the right child. Easier, yes. But it seemed like it was cheating a little to me.

Oh, well. It's the thought that counts, right?

This is one of the fun things about going around the mommy-block again--enjoying Valentine's Day with a six-year old. I wonder if she'll share any of her candy with me?