To day started as normal with a rude awakening from down stairs, we call it our 6am alarm when the man down stairs bangs on his daughters bedroom door to wake her, then again at 6.15, and again at 6.30, we assume she moves into the bath room as at 7am he bangs on that door to say hurry up... Oh the joys of living in the middle flat of a block of three....

When I went into the front room to see of any one else wanted a coffee. Stewart informed me that he was coming shopping as Phina was indisposed, she'd managed to take two lots of her Peti Mal tablets by accident. She was groggy but coherent and very sleepy, but she was enjoying the 'Buzz'. As Antony was up I decided it would be alright to go shopping as Phina seamed incontrolle, I was not worried. So we went and had a good time, even though my co-ordination were a little shot, I was able to get everything off the list, pluses a couple of reduced items. When we got back she got up to make us a drink, but was unstedy so I took it off her. She was talkative saying how embarrassing it all was.. I reminded her that Granny (my Mom) had taken two lots of sleeping tablets once as she'd forgotten she'd already taken one lot, and she'd slept for a whole day, so now they could start a “I feel like a Nit” group on Facebook.

I did my usual after shopping as it drains me, slept for a couple of hours, Meanwhile Antony had gone into town to get the new Grand theft Auto” game as it was out yesterday but Antony's money hadn't gone in so he was taking pot luck on one still being in store. When I woke Stewart said he was on his way back as I still had his bank card, I know your not supposed to use other peoples cards, So as I had a return ticket I said I would catch the next buss into Kidderminster to meet him. WI phoned to catch him before he got on the buss, I then realized it would be the first time I'd been out on my own for nearly three years.... Long story just to say I wasn't able, But today I was feeling good so I thought as Ant was already there then it was only a 29minuet journey on the buss. I got soaked while waiting we had one of those torrential down pores with hail the size of currents. I thought I was not going to let it bother me so hummed “Singing in the Rain”, well you just have to don't you. So when the buss arrived they were greeted with the biggest smile I had, I was so pleased I'd gotten as far as the buss stop, mind you can see our flat from the stop so it felt like I had support, Then I enjoyed the ride, looking out of the window at all the trees in bloom, It's my favorite sight. Ant met me off the bus with a fag, I know I am stopping but he felt I would need one, bless him. He managed to get his game from the first shop we went into so were able to catch the next buss back.

When I got back Stewart informed me he;d called an ambulance out for Phina as she'd started to throw up and has now collapsed..... She'd gone completely limp. I just had time to go to the loo as the ambulance pulled up and I was off to Worcester a&e dept. with Phina wired up to the heart and blood persure monitors. All was fine.... At the hospital the doctor said She'd had a sever panic attack from worrying what the consequence could be. So they gave her an EEC as it's part of the thing when some one has collapsed..... then we were told we could go home.. Phina could not walk or keep her eyes open but they said all she needed was to sleep it off, She was like handling a over drunk person, Dad came to pick us up and take us home. I've but her to bed with a 'sick' bin in case she wakes up later and were all listening out.. I had to phone Mom to reassure her every thing was fine.

It's a strange feeling I've had a relay good day and I'm so proud of my self... The feeling is I've been punished For enjoying the day.... You know something always happens when I've done something for my self....

I'll end on a joke Mom told me just....

A Mom goes up stairs knocks on a door and shouts .” Malcome you've got to get up to go to school”

She goes back up 10 mins later, “Malcome your going to be late”

Malcome answers “But I don't want to go ,they bully and tease me and call me names”

Mother replies “But Malcome you've got to go, Your the Headmaster”.

 webteam@rnid-news.org.uk

I recived this E-mail today and wasn't sure where to post it so I'v put it on my blog page hoping people will see it passing by....

Deaf Awearness Week  this year is 5th. -- 11th May

Please read the news artical and if you can do somthing to help make others more awear    Thank You .....    Lisa x

So far to day I'v been out to clean and re-fill the bird feeders, found an old crock pot base to use as a bird bath come drinking spot.. Hopefully the birds will find it interesting. Looking round the garden ( I call it garden loosely as it's still doing a good impression of a field ) The Laburnam tree is starting to flower. There is a small and very stragly Forsythia shrub showing yellow. and the grass has grown up in side the logs, have to do a quick re-con with the secketers to tidy up, if I leave it too long a very presistant backberry vine tryes to take over it all. I heard my first Cuckoo yesterday, this always starts the summer off in my mind. The Greater Spotted Woodpecker has brought a friend back to inspect the old tellygraph pole at the bottem of the gardens for bugs. I counted over 118/120 Finches using the tree in the next garden to roost in, and there are now two Robins squabling over the food. Saw a butterfly, too far away to recognise, and could hear the hum of Bees. yes the weathers picking up at last. Soon it will be time to dig the space to make a veg plot... :-) My sprits are high it always feels good at this time of the year. Nature is putting on her party gown.

As iI was saying earler. My memmory's a bit shot latley.  I know when I loged in I had some complements. I excepted them before writing down who sent them me........!

I have been doing other things and now can't remember who it was who sent them to me....!

so here are some

and a    to all of you love Lisa x x

This morning I was making us all a round of drinks. When I put the cups in the wrong order. Let me explaine..... starting from right to left....... Stewart, tea, 3 sugars, dash of milk... Antony. heap tsp. coffee, 2 sugars, milky... Mine, level tsp.coffee (in afternoon green tea in small tea pot ) no sugar small amount milk... Phrina, tip of tsp. coffee, no sugar, dash of rice milk,... Now I have this routeen down to a fine art. But this morning I put the cups down in the wrong order, mixing mine and Phrina's. After I realised I rinsed out both cups to start again but did exactly the same thing againe. TWICE. Phina took over then as I was nearly in tears. I get like this a lot at the moment . Then I proceded to go and put the kettle in the fridge and milk carton on the oven ring. At this point I was pushed out of the kitchen before I could do any more dammage. :-)  This is the added bounus of reaching the new stage in my life,  the dreaded Menopause...... My short term memory was not that brilliant to start with, now somrtimes I can't even find the correct words to finish sentances off. It's frustrating.  The Lack of concentrations the worst, I drift off in the middle of someone talking to me to find them looking at me in that "you've not heard a word I've been saying" look. and in some cases I've said sorry pardon but  they ,Mostly Phina, say never mind. But I do mind as they thought it important enought to say in the first place and she knows I have a hearing problem in my left ear so I keep hopeing she would compensate, instead she gets frustrated. Imagin how I must be feeling I've missed out on what she was saying and got a Huff to boot. The mood swings are off the scale. I can change from happy to grisly,irritated to just plain nasty and all those in between in minnetts. I keep it bottled up in side.  I try to but a face on so no one seams to notice and they all think every thing is ok. I don't want to cause them any bother. but I am so afraid of getting older and all those things that can and do happen seam ever nearer. I have as I've already said been diagnosed with C.F.S. so my energy leavel is low at the best of times. Take tablets for deppression, I often joke with mt G.P. that if I was  horce, she would have taken me out side and shot me by now. To wich she always replies " there's life in this old mare yet" and pats me on the knee. Yes I make jokes over it all the time, some times it's the only way I get through the day. If I joke first it takes the sting out of any resort the others have to say. I know I get on their wick plenty of times having to re-go over things time and time again till I have got it. Then add to that waking at least twice every night with Night Sweats, and night mares. I'm knackered... :-)  I keep smiling.... :-) what alse can I do???? My family (mom,dad,Antony and Phrina) have watched over me through three break downs. Phrina now talks to me as if she is the parent, I don't know at what point this reversal happened, but it's proving hard to end it, she has a strong praentong side. I just wish to be treated as a adult, even if I'm not actinhg like one all the time...

I should stop now or I'll be spoiling all your day with my mriseryating.....

It's just I have no friends to shair with so I'm selfeshly dumping todays moan onto you.

If I don't allways get back to you quickly,  it's not that I'm not thinking of you.... it's more than likley I'm just not thinking... You know....

"The lights on but nobodys there"

The weather looked fine when we started out, but as always it changed to very cold as we arrived. The friend, Simon, was as nervouce as Sirah ( she now wishes to be called Seraphina, Phina for short, just so you'll know who I'm taling about ) He spent the first half of the shoot with a nervouce cough.  Phina was too nervouce to warm up properly, he was anxious to get on with it befor the weather turned realy nasty, so she did not get her maximin stretches so she was not too happy with how it went. Pluss Simon did not seam to have a presonality so no interaction to help her relax into it. The photos he has sent through already are wonderfull, it shows how much a background can enhance a picture. The weather just got colder and colder between the short sunny spells. Poor Phina froze. I was worred she would do some dammage to her self if she pushed her self too hard. Fortunatly it was the last back bend and yes her mussels had cooled down too much and she pulled one in the small of her back ( treated at home with hot packs and a warm bath ) is better today but has a stinking cold. We got plenty of odd looks, I supose no one has seen a contortionints live before? Funnily enough Phina didn't mind them watching. Then just as he'd taken the last shot the heavens opened and it hailed. we got soaked getting back to the car, I think my Dad was froze too, he's a good sport. Unfortunatly Phinas nwe ballett points were damaged on the granet plinth she was posing on. She looked like one of those Greak statues. ( that could just be the proud Mother talking.) She has come along way since the beging of this year, and has picked up more of her comfidance from posting her contortisum photos on to her MySpace and Face Book pages, the whole feedback has been nothing but supportive.

Glad we went Saturday as we woke up to snow Sunday. It didn't last long as soon as the sun warmed it. Then it tried most of the day to layer it on with no luck. It was quite thickly falling when I went to bed Expected to be foot deep this morning but it started to melt again with the sun. The birds are happy as I went out to shake off the remaining snow so they could find the feeders. The cat's were trying to catch the snow flakes as they landed on the windows,

It was wonderfull seein Witley court againe it must be at least 28/30 years since I've been there. The last time we ( my then feancy ) parked in a lay bie and walked up a short muddy path to the derilict building. I know the English Herritage have been re-storing it fot the last 10 years. I was delighted to find that the fountains, that I'd ony ever seen as ruins were compleatly restored and turned on every hour on the hour, pluss the faires must have known I was comming as they were running them more often to clean the pipes out, so it seamed like every time I turned around they were going. The maine foutain, Perseus and Andromeda, water jet must have been over 8 feet high, with the high wind it covered a large airea behind it with a fine mist. It made my day, I know is was realy Phina's day but I felt special too. 

I am posting the 4 photos Simon sent Phina through to show her how they had turned out .These are just for starters as he want's to photo shop the colours a bit as it was dull for a lot of them. I think this is a polite was of saying he's air brushing the tattoos out, as he wants to use them to help build up his potpfolio. He's called it body art. He thinks he must have taken over 80 in all. Phina got an e-mail off him this morning saying it had been his most enjoyable shoot to date. ( you'd never have guessed it from his face at the time. ) He's asked if she would do him another in the summer, when it's more likly to be sunny and warm, so she dosen't get frozen again,( not garenteed  to be warmer you know how our British summers can be. :-)

 Catch you later.  Lisa x x x

It seamed like everything I did yesterday decided to slide sideways into another dimention, as in 'wrongish'. I started sentances without endings. Moved things somewear "safe" So now Ill never find them againe.  and in one apsent -mindeness ended in eating a peice of broken biscuit off the floor.....

I was eating one of those wafer biscuits in the kittchen and was offering the kitten a small bit that had broken off. he loved it so I went to offer a peice to the other one so it did not feel left out. Now this one wont eat from your hand so I put it on the floor, as I did Sirah reminded me that it would be too sugery, so I  (and please don't ask why) picked it up and ate it. Then realizing what I had done promptly spat it out in to my hand. Sirah was in bits, she didn't stop laughing all evening. I think it was an automat reflex of  "not to waist things" from childhood. Never mind it has given the others somthing to joke me with for a few days. I some times think I am going crazy, other times I know I finaly have.

Sirah has been offered a photo shoot of her doing her contortionist positions on Saturday. I'm going along as shaperone. One of her friends is doing a photograpy course and sujested it would be a challenge to shoot this as it is different to what they normaly do. So we had to go into town yesterday to get her somthing to wear. She's ended up with one of those exercise crop tops and licra (just above the knee) pants. She's exercising like mad at the moment to get the positions she wants up to prefect. I hope we will have some photos back then I can post them for you all to see. I'm so nervouce for her she has got her hopes up so far. She wants to break in to the contortionits circuit so these photos may help her as a portphlio. I wasen't looking forward to going into Worcester so we caught the earlist bus out so we could get back before most people get up and into town so it wasen't too busy. It only took us an hour, that was including a stop for coffe , as soon as we got off the bus as it's a 40 minuet journey . The best  was seeing our first feild of this year lanbs on the way in. One was standing on it's mom's back while she was lying down eating. you never have a camra when it's needed :-). I'll have to ask my Dad if he can take us to Witley Court as we don't have transport and I can't find a bus route that covers anywhere near by.

http://www.english-heritage.org.uk/server.php?show=nav.16927

Just  incase your intersted in seeing where were going. It's been years since I'v been and they have done some extensive resteration work on the fountains. I hope they will be on. Keep your fingers crossed that the weather holds out for us.  I'll let you know how we got on.