It's almost six o'clock and the last family has gathered up reluctant children and headed out into the rain to their cars to go home. I didn't stop to count the children but our living room seemed to be crawling with them - aged just under 3 to almost 13. The noise was amazing but thoroughly enjoyable - it's been a long time since we had such delightful chatter in the house.

I miss children. I love the fact that mine are all grown up - two still live at home and we enjoy their company immensely. We're not the type of parents that can't wait for the kids to move out!

Last week Joanne called - a homeschooler recently moved into a neighbouring town - asking if there was a local homeschooling group. I often get calls asking this and feel like I'm letting the caller down when I say no... I arranged for Joanne to come and visit, even though we don't have children her youngsters could play with it's always nice to meet and talk to other homeschoolers. After she'd rung off, I had a sudden inspiration and sent out an email on a group list asking if others would like to join us and talk about getting a local support and social group going.

The afternoon was a great success and we're all meeting again in a fortnight. The 'Tuesday Group' is birthed!

cheers
Beverley
http://about.beverleypaine.com
http://homeschoolaustralia.com

I'm writing to ask what you think about homeschoolers getting involved with the review of the education and training legislation. I've been asked by someone if I, or my homeschooling group, would like to provide a submission to the review. I gathered from discussions on homeschool lists that not only is it a waste of time to get involved with govt reviews but that it could also work to our disadvantage.

I've always had my say whenever the govt invites me to have a say, and sometimes when they haven't. If I feel passionately about a topic I like to have input. That's the democratic way. Apathy is a dreadful thing. Too many homeschoolers bury their head in the everyday bustle of homeschooling life... and I've a lot of sympathy for them - it's the ones that don't do anything or bother to voice their views, then whinge about the outcome afterwards that I have no sympathy for.

Having said that, however, I've seen too many really great homeschoolers become so passionate about getting involved in reviews and legislative change that they end up literally losing their families - divorces, separations, not 'being there' for family members because they are campaigning on behalf of strangers! We're lucky that there are a few die-hards in homeschooling land willing to sacrifice just about anything to bring the discrimation homeschooler face every day to light. I personally don't have what it takes to do battle at that level, nor do I want to cop the cost, which seems to be the norm rather than the exception. I am passionate about home education. I would like to see it established in legislation as the third option - private school, public school, and home education provision. To this end I've participated in letter writing campaigns, submitted personal proposals (to emphasise the point the homeschooling community is made up of many individuals as well as representative groups), attended information evenings, become involved in legislative review panels, spoken at a conference for Aus & NZ lawyers. I've participated to the degree that satisfies my need to be involved in the democratic process at this stage. I firmly believe it is my duty as a citizen of Australia to do this, and my duty as a parent to model this behaviour to my children.

I am aware that for the most part consultation is, in any arena, a cosmetic process, and that minority stakeholders are often ignored or given scant or serious attention. Minority stakeholders often present the more radical views and governments and businesses are usually seeking to satisfy the majority - that's a feature of the kind of democracy we hold dear in Australia. It ostracises and alienates minorities, although it does let them have a token say. As a person with a minority position I must do my level best to push my case, which to me means educating as many people as possible that, in the case of home education, it is a successful and viable alternative to school education. But I can't insist that Australia adopts my view, or even listens! All I can do is state my case, whenever I can. If someome says, "hey, we're ready to listen" I jump on the opportunity to have an audience. I don't care if that audience isn't sympathetic or is perhaps 'using me' - I firmly believe that the more people I tell my happy story to the better! Ultimately education will, with the resultant growth of the homeschooling movement at the grass roots level, pay dividends. Good luck with your involvement. Remember to stay objective and detatched, to not let your passion for changing the world take over every day family life, find a sympathetic buddy that will support you in your endeavors, steer clear of fellow homeschoolers who will want to harrass you for your stand and poisonous rhetoric. Work out in your heart and mind what it is you wish to say - what will most benefit your family right now - and state your case with confidence as a citizen of a democracy.

Beverley Paine
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au

Hi ya Josie wrote: DS has caught the reading bug, and is now picking it us quite easily, and his confidence has grownn so much, to the point that he thinks he can read books thay are way over ambitous for him, only he still wants to give them a go, until he realises on the first page that maybe he has bitten off more than he can chew.
If I tell him that maybe I should read it, he refuses, prefering to give it a go himself. Will this end up destroying the confidence that he has gained in reading, or should I just continue to let him go, and tell him that we should read it together, so I can help with words that he does not know?

Let him do what he wants as his pace. Roger spent an hour one day looking a page I definitely knew he couldn't read when he was six. It didn't do him any harm. Just make sure Branden has access to all types of reading matter at all levels. Never underestimate what's going on a person's head. We can't begin to know what your son is doing when he's looking at a page. Even he won't know all the processes going on. If he feels compelled to have a go, let him, but let him know that often you tackle things that you're not quite ready for and sometimes you feel disappointed you can't do what you want to right now but know that simply trying is part of the journey to eventual accomplishment. Think of some examples - for me it is climbing onto the roof using a ladder and then trying to get down by myself without help - this took me years to do! My kids found it interesting as it was something that had no trouble with. Seeing other people try and 'fail' is encouraging for all of us.

John Dewey, educator and researcher wrote: "Give the pupils something to do, not something to learn; and the doing is of such a nature as to demand thinking; learning naturally results." Your son has chosen this task or reading above his ability level as something to do - trust in Dewey's words. Learning will naturally result. I love the way children naturally test their emerging abilities. If left alone to experiment and test without pressure to perform to another's expectation or arbitrary schedule all will be right.
You might find my Practical Homeschooling Series booklet Learning to Love Reading ($2.50 plus postage) a useful and reassuring guide.

Robin and I are heading off to the annual Milang Homeschoolers Camp on Friday. We thoroughly enjoyed the inaugral camp last year, organised by Stephanie and her enthusiastic family. The camp was well attended, with a host of homeschoolers heading down from Adelaide for Saturday.

Few people realise the power of a homeschooling camp. We attended our first one way back in 1990, at a place called Bridgewater in Victoria. The camp was organised by the Alternative Education Resource Centre, now HEN (VIC) and I found out about it through their newsletter Otherways. Dozens of families enjoyed the week long camp. For the first time I felt that I had finally found my 'community', such was the strength of the camaradie shared at the camp.

If you've never been to a camp you've missed out! It's hard, at first, to ease into camp life, especially when some of the campers are already familiar with one another, or if the camp is held in the same place each year and draws the same families who know the place inside out. I remember feeling like an outsider, but went with the flow, accepting that, yes, I was a newbie and like newbies everywhere I needed to take a deep breath and sit and watch, feeling a little uncomfortable, listen to the conversations, venture a few words here and there and slowly, but surely, I warmed to camp life and the 'old timers' gradually drew me into all of the activities.

The children, of course, took a lot less time to integrate, make friends, and generally have a good time!

Most of the camps I've been on have been unstructured: the structure evolves as each day dawns. We've camped in tents, slept in dorms and cabins and a mixture of both. Daily activities usually include going for walks, visiting local places of interest, art and craft, singing, cooperative games, concerts, shared meals, workshops, and chatting. Lots of chatting!

Nothing beats living closely with others over a few days to get to know each other and make firm friendships. I remember my children not seeing kids from camp from one year to the next, but when they got together again it was as though only a few days had passed. For parents worried about the social outcomes of home education - get thee to a camp! You'll be reassured.

Belinda Moore writes about a camp she attended on the Homeschool Australia website:

"The company was wonderful – old friends we love to catch up with, and new friends to meet. For us, the company of like-minded homeschoolers at an annual camp is a huge boost in our confidence in the decision to home educate. And being with the older home educated children and teens is always inspiring and encouraging. They are a beaut bunch of kids!"

I'd love to hear about your homeschooling camping experiences.

cheers
Beverley
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au

Home education is legal in Australia. However, laws and regulations differ from state to state. You will need to obtain a copy of the relevant Act for your state, and find out about local conditions and regulations or policies that may apply. Homeschooling networks can help you with legal information, but check for yourself - information may not be accurate or up-to-date. The information given on this page is written by someone without legal qualifications and is a general guide only to what is usually required of home educators and may not be applicable in your situation. Always seek qualified legal advice if in any doubt as to your legal position.

The Acts may be found at the General Index for all Australian legislation http://www.austlii.edu.au/databases.html

On http://sahome-ed.beverleypaine.com/approval.html you'll find detailed information that I've prepared for homeschoolers here in South Australia, which together with http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com/legal.html form the basis of my reply to questions of this type. Here is the information I have in my Homeschool Today! Getting Started with Homeschooling free newsletter which I send out to families:
Homeschooling is legal; however, the law and regulations differ from state to state. You need to obtain copies of the relevant sections of the Education Act in your State and to inquire about conditions and regulations from the appropriate authorities. Don't rely solely on information from well meaning others - find out for yourself the "letter of the law". Always seek legal advice if in any doubt as to your legal position.

Many homeschoolers question the interpretation, validity and legal status of policies and regulations regarding homeschooling given by authorities. Even within states regional requirements may vary in their their application and interpretation of the law or regulations. Local help and advice, reflecting recent experience, can be an invaluable aid. The Home Education Resource and Legal Information Network has been set up to help homeschoolers find information.

Where regulation of homeschooling exists the process generally involves requiring the parents to prepare a program of learning for the children, which is then assessed by an officer of the authority, a process usually including at least one interview, plus regular review. The review process varies and can be annual, every two years, or negotiated.

When considering contacting the educational authorities and applying to homeschool it is important to think seriously about what your intentions and responsibilities are - both to yourself, your children and to society.

Although many home educators feel the regulations or policies relating to home education to be fair and adequate, others argue they have no basis in law, infringe on basic human and parenting rights, are discriminatory and inequitable.

Thinking carefully and becoming clear in your own mind about your role and the role of the authority will offer you the most confidence in whatever path you follow.

At all times read all paper work very carefully, and never sign anything you are not entirely happy with. Put things in your own writing, using your own words, rather than simply signing forms presented to you. Be careful not to sign away any rights to resources, assistance or help for your children as homeschooling students. Although they may not require these things now keep options open for the future.

Keep records of any communication with authority officials, including tape recordings or transcripts of telephone conversations. This is simply professional and responsible behaviour and offers you confidence in further dealings.

Insist of written clarification of telephone calls and ask for letters outlining what will be discussed and dealt with during interviews, and what is required of you. Be assertive. It is your right, especially if you are inviting strangers into your home.

Arrange for interviews on neutral territory if you wish. Keep records until the child is past compulsory schooling age.

Information sought by educational authorities in the process of 'approving' homeschools varies considerably. The emphasis should be on the quality of the proposed learning program, and this includes the learning environment. A comprehensive guide to establishing learning programs and environments can be found in the Australian homeschooling manual "Getting Started with Homeschooling - Practical Considerations".

In general, most authorities require a broad outline of a proposed program of work for each child, which should includes areas of study, essential skills and understandings, resources to be used and description of the teaching methods. This is a summary only, not a detailed curriculum guide, and should be brief and concise.

Offering a more detailed outline of a sample day often reassures officers assessing the learning program, as do exhibiting samples of recent learning activities. Children do not have to be subjected to interviews by the officer if you don't wish - be firm and assertive, and clear about the assessment of the learning program, rather than the children's current educational abilities and understandings. As the educator it is your responsibility to monitor the progress of your child - not their’s.

You will also be required to demonstrate that educational progress is being monitored, evaluated and assessed. This generally requires some degree of record keeping. Never give away original documents or children's work: use photocopies if necessary.

In most cases a simple annual report prepared by you should suffice. When working through the review simply write brief summaries of what the children have done during the year, and then a brief outline of the next year's program. If you are feeling less than confident get help - many experienced homeschoolers are happy to help, or be present at your interview as objective observers.

Socialisation and adequate provision for contact with peers and other adults, and involvement in cultural and sporting activities is considered important. Usually familes retain friends from school and other activities, plus gain homeschooling friends, through support groups, excursions and camps. Be sure to inform the authorities you are in contact with a local or state based homeschooling group for support and social opportunities.

In Australia the recommended areas of study are English; Languages other than English; Mathematics; Society and Environment Studies; Health, Physical and Personal Development; Science; The Arts; and Technology and Enterprise. You can offer a range of other subjects or categories as you see fit. The aim is to offer a broad and balanced curriculum over time.

Devising your own programs to suit your individual children is recognised and celebrated as accepted homeschooling practice throughout Australia. ™

love, light and peace
Beverley
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au

As a woman, I see parenting as a career choice. It's the career I chose before I turned 20. I think that had I been well enough I may have worked part time, and shared the parenting workload with Robin, but we tried that out when Roger (now 22) was a toddler and my health deteriorated - I don't survive sustained social settings very well!

We opted for a low income lifestyle that enabled shared parenting duties, rather than dividing them into traditional male/female roles. For the most part we were successful, but gender was definitely against us! And we're both pretty traditional, conservative folk so I ended up helping him build the house while he helped me cook the dinners...

The low income lifestyle was great when the children were young. Living in a shed was an adventure... The kids didn't eat much... Excursions into the garden were educationally satisfying... We didn't need a car that actually worked all the time... Living cheaply was an adventure and I'd recommend it - but only for what it teaches us in how to live simply to simply live. The stress and hassles and worry come time to pay the big bills - council rates, etc - that I could have done without!

Pulling together and sharing the parenting and educating workload was the best we could offer our children. This also meant getting involved in alternative school education, preschool and playgroup. Robin is a much better father for his experiences and I'm an enlightened mother (that is, I learned that dads can be exceptionally capapble mums in all but a few areas!)

When I was a teenager I thought long and hard about how to change the world, because I was deeply disturbed by all the garbage going on. I figured, at the age of 13, that education was the answer, and back then I knew that schools had failed, but didn't know why. I thought that perhaps we needed schools to teach the parents how to parent, because it seemed to me that parents weren't parenting properly. I had a lot to learn about parenting! But who would teach the parents - only a parent knows how to parent and most of them were making a mess of things...

So I figured that the only way to change the world was to educate the children, and the only way to do that was on the job training. We learn as we do, and the more we do, the more WE'RE ALLOWED TO FAIL, the better we get at what we're doing. No one likes falling on their faces over and over again. If they are picked up continuously by well meaning others they don't learn to support themselves. If they aren't allowed to trek the path unaided in the first place they haven't got a chance. I figured that the best way to change the world was to WALK BESIDE people as they seek to learn the lessons they need to...

I'm still learning how to walk beside people, without giving in to the urge to assist them before they've asked, with clarity, for help. And that's the job of parenting.

I truly believe there is only one job - career - for humans on this planet. And that is parenting. It's high time we all started parenting - our kids, your kids, each other.

love, light and peace
Beverley
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au

Every so often I'm part of a group talking about how to cater to the information needs of our growing homeschooling community, and it seems that a central web repository of information is the first essential step. Some Australian states have home education organisations that maintain excellent websites. Some individually owned sites maintain information and links. Keeping all this up-to-date and relevant is quite a task.

Ann's article talks about what homeschoolers want to see from a local information service. The question I'd like to ask is:

"Do homeschoolers prefer LOCAL information provided locally; or information relevant to their STATE only; or would they prefer to use a NATIONAL information service?"

The article below, written by Ann Zeise can be found at http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/articles/062899.htm and I thought it is a good introduction to get a discussion going on the topic of support groups.

Local Site Wish List

"Who should read this?

• Local & Regional Support Group Webmasters;
• Library site developers making homeschool resource pages;
• Local, Community or City site developers making homeschool support pages;
• Local parenting resources e-zine publishers.

After the usual homeschooling information, what homeschoolers would really like to see are pages with links to your unique regional resources for families. If you don't know much about homeschooling, link to this site, your state page, and then provide local resources. May I suggest these links could include but not necessarily be limited to:

• Art resources (from supplies to lessons)
• Banks with free children's accounts
• Bookstores (including used books)
• Businesses and industries that give tours (Contact information)
• Children's theater and musical groups
• Drivers ed resources & teen driving regulations
• Educator Discount retailers who include homeschool teachers
• Genealogy collections available locally
• Historic sites, reenactments, societies
• Kid-friendly gyms, athletic clubs, and community athletic teams
• Libraries (and how to access online)
• Music schools, piano teachers
• Museums (especially kid-friendly, hands-on places. Info about classes.)
• Natural areas, especially those that have nature guides
• Publications that list family activities
• Science supply outlets (low priced) and classes
• Trails (within the city or out; bike paths)
• Tutoring and mentoring services (especially math and reading)
• TV stations with community college classes or similar programming
• Volunteer opportunities for young people
• Youth organizations (scouts, 4-H, Campfire, etc.)

I cannot hope to be an "expert" on such a wealth of materials that are already in your grasp. Please! Let us partner in what we each can do best. Link to the pages on my site that give your audience what they need. Email me and let me know you have begun a regional resource section on your site, and I'll most likely link it in my "Regional and Worldwide" resources page most relevant to your area."

I welcome your comments... I'm forever 'tweaking' my websites with the aim of offering homeschoolers what they need in order to make homeschooling a breeze. It's good to get feedback. Home education is coming of age in Australia - what do you think we need to do to make it more accessible for interested families?

cheers
Beverley
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au
http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com

by Beverley Paine and Vanessa Whittaker

If anyone is ever in any doubt about the legal status of home education in their state and can't be sure from the information provided by homeschooling organisations or friends, then the best thing to do - the most reassuring - is to get a legal opinion - a letter from a lawyer clarifying your legal rights and responsibilities. Don't think of it as a hassle - think of it as an educational process!

Over the years I've seen many families in the unfortunate situation of being continuously harrassed and bullied by schools and over-zealous education authorities, and those that have finally sought legal advice and representation find that the presence of a lawyer or letter is often enough to make the bullies back down.

In South Australia in the past it seemed customary for the authorities, when they weren't 'happy' with an application for exemption, to refer the case to Family and Youth Services, and they'd look for neglect or abuse... usually absent of course! FAYS would hand the case back to the education department and often a compromise would be hatched. All too often the harrassment was enough to convince the family that they couldn't homeschool and send the kids back to school, or the family starts thinking about moving interstate (and every where you go is the same old story, regardless of what the law actually says, which is why I definitely DON'T recommend this as an option)

There are thousands of homeschoolers in all states who aren't 'registered' or 'exempted' or 'approved' and the authorities know it. The best way to handle the situation is to KNOW your legal rights and responsibilities - read the relevent Acts and regulations - and then weather their bluffs or get legal help straight off.

Check my website http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com/approval.html for more info.

The best way to prepare for home education - with or without approval - is to write your own curriculum or learning plan, start recording your children's educational progress, and keep a social 'diary' or scrapbook. To be on the absolute safe side, if your documentation is ever needed to prove you are educating your children adequately in a court of law (really rare and usually only in custody cases) remember to DATE your entries and samples of your children's work. Don't give original documents away - always use photocopies in your correspondence. And keep records of your conversations and letters with the education authorities. This may sound a little heavy handed or worrisome, but it's the only really effective way of building your confidence as a home educator when dealing with people who think they have more authority over your children than you do. Act like a professional educator (because you are!) and they will feel less inclined to treat you as just another parent in the classroom.

fromVanessa…

I have read Beverley's response about this and I agree with everything that she said.
I am in SA and when we began homeschooling some one from the Education Department used the mandatory reporting legislation to make allegations of abuse against myself in regards to our son (but not our daughter, who we also began homeschooling at the same time).

We sought legal advice from our lawyer and also from the lawyer at Light Education Ministries, who put us in touch with a civil liberties lawyer. This person gave us excellent advice and support and was prepared to come to court for us if necessary.

Some things we were told to do were so that if we were made to appear in court we would have covered all our legal requirements extremely well, and the judge would usually say that his time was being wasted and toss it out.

1. Keep a separate home school diary for all planned home school social outings. Judges want to know you are not isolating your children. If you have to present a family diary you are giving them more information than they can legally access and they could then use any of that information against you.

2. Keep a record of all the days you do school work. I have an A3 sized planner in my folder. I use a highlighter pen to record every day we do school work even if we go on an outing even if it is on a Saturday or Sunday. If I may use it later as a reference, it is school related and countable. I write "school day" over the highlighter colour. This was something the civil liberties lawyer said was of the highest value.

3. I do keep a record of work we actually do, in retrospect. It is more accurate.

4. I keep a record of my planning for each topic or area on a pro-forma I made up that suits me.

5. Date everything.... the work the children do, my planning, letters sent and received..... we use a date stamp.

6. No communication by phone. Everything in writing and when you send them something let them know you have kept a hard copy yourself and if you are seeking assistance of a politician or anyone else indicate on the bottom where you are sending other copies. The power base shifts when they know you have other people supporting you! They will not put in a letter anything that is not enforceable by law. So if the intimidation is by phone, stop talking and politely ask them to put it in writing so that you can get your own private legal opinion. And do get that opinion and follow the lawyer's advice! It lets them know you have backup as often they will try to intimidate women and it helps you feel that you have support and options.

7. Send any communication by registered post so they have to sign for it and you will be notified that the addressee has received it and on what day. Keep that slip you get back in case you need to prove you sent something. This prevents them from saying that you haven't given them this or that and "accidentally on purpose" loosing something you have sent and trying to lay responsibility on you. It is empowering to be able to say “That's strange, I have this registered post slip that says you signed for it on this date".

8. We now have an advocate who attends any meetings who is an uninvolved third party that takes notes as an independent record. This prevents "he said, she said" which lacks proof.

9. I am married and the lawyer advised that my husband should be present at every meeting, and it has been amazing how much differently they speak and act when he is present. It can be a pain and costs us if he needs to refuse a job/shift to be there but it has been important. If you are not married, a friend or relative attending with you to act as support for you may help your comfort and confidence levels.

10. All meetings should be out of your home. We have them at the Education Department's meeting room. In extreme cases if they turn up on your doorstep, politely refuse entry. If a police officer is present and has a warrant, the police officer only can enter to act according to the warrant. But you are able to telephone your lawyer asking him/her to give you advice or come to ensure your rights are protected.

By following this we were able to prove the allegations were without evidence, gain the first exemption and we have just had our first review and we were told our summary and presentation was extremely professional and complete. It has made me so much more confident to have guidelines to follow that eliminates their power to cause me extra stress. I am also so much more comfortable knowing my legal rights and responsibilities. Also they are not the department’s supposed guidelines but the legal ones which would assist me in a court of law, therefore my motivation is different.

From my understanding of the law, Principals play no part in an application/exemption to home school, therefore their opinion/actions have no relevance, it is only intimidation factor. Politely refuse to participate. Ask the Principal to put his/her issues in writing and just file it. If threats of action are made, seek legal advice quickly. Don't think it will just go away. You could ask your lawyer to write a letter demanding that the Principal stop harassing you and he should list the laws that give you the right to homeschool.

Light Education Ministries, based in Canberra, have a booklet or booklets that list the appropriate laws of each state. It costs a small amount but you may find it useful to have a copy of what impacts you. It was a boost to my confidence to know what the law said and to have it in a hard copy to re-enforce that in meetings or in responding to issues with the department.

If you have evidence that proves that your children are doing work and you are able to show that with records of actual work completed, you are able to easily prove your children are not truant from school as they are being schooled at home and therefore the truancy law is nor relevant either. It is confusing for the poor things, but eventually they understand that there are laws to protect our decision to home educate our children.

cheers
Beverley
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au
http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com

In her Universal Preschool Blog, Diane Flynn Keith, author of CARSCHOOLING, urges us to support a new documentary on education based on John Taylor Gatto's book The Underground History of American Education.

A documentary that will hopefully help to reform education across the globe as it answers the question John first posed in his award winning book DUMBING US DOWN: do we really need school?

"Do we really need school? I don't mean education, just forced schooling: six classes a day, five days a week, nine months a year, for twelve years. Is this deadly routine really necessary? And if so, for what?

Don't hide behind reading, writing, and arithmetic as a rationale, because 2 million happy homeschoolers have surely put that banal justification to rest. Even if they hadn't, a considerable number of well-known Americans never went through the twelve-year wringer our kids currently go through, and they turned out all right.

George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln? Someone taught them, to be sure, but they were not products of a school system, and not one of them was ever "graduated" from a secondary school. Throughout most of American history, kids generally didn't go to high school, yet the unschooled rose to be admirals, like Farragut; inventors, like Edison; captains of industry like Carnegie and Rockefeller; writers, like Melville and Twain and Conrad; and even scholars, like Margaret Mead. In fact, until pretty recently people who reached the age of thirteen weren't looked upon as children at all. Ariel Durant, who co-wrote an enormous, and very good, multivolume history of the world with her husband, Will, was happily married at fifteen, and who could reasonably claim that Ariel Durant was an uneducated person? Unschooled, perhaps, but not uneducated.

We have been taught (that is, schooled) in this country to think of "success" as synonymous with, or at least dependent upon, "schooling," but historically that isn't true in either an intellectual or a financial sense. And plenty of people throughout the world today find a way to educate themselves without resorting to a system of compulsory secondary schools that all too often resemble prisons.

Why, then, do Americans confuse education with just such a system? What exactly is the purpose of our public schools?"

Diane reveals that Gatto has his entire book available to read for FREE online. A product of nine years of research and a half-million dollar investment, this book pulls back the curtain to reveal the actual purpose for which mass forced schooling was conceived and identifies the problems with modern schooling and what can be done to fix it.

Join FREE Book Discussion - to participate simply join the FREE EduTalk e-list at Yahoo groups.

According to Diane you can donate to the production of a new Documentary Film Series based on the book which will be a hard-hitting and compelling exploration of American compulsory schooling. It's important for Australian homeschoolers to pay attention to what's happening elsewhere in the world, especially the United States, as this is where the educational authorities look for guidance when reforming Australian schools and curriculum... Will we blindly follow where US schools lead and make the same mistakes, leading to devastating consequences for so many young people?

The documentary, Diane, a verteran homeschooler herself, says will "examine the troubling anomalies of our current system" and "penetrate the untold history of our schools" as well as "survey the many extraordinary alternatives available to students, parents and teachers."She urges us to help us make this film a reality. Learn more about it by visiting: http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/fourthpurpose/gatto.htm.

cheers
Beverley
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au
http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com

It's inevitable that homeschooling is going to be a huge political issue for many families over the coming twelve months as they seek clarification and 'a fair go' over the 2005 parenting payment Budget decisions. But what about the rest of us? Should we care? Should we spend precious hours discussing complex issues, calling politicians and bureaucrats, and worrying about new threats to our homeschooling freedoms?

Most of us just want to be left in peace to get on with educating our children: to watch them grow and share with them the thrill of discovery that learning brings each day. The last thing we want to be bothered with is jumping through hoops to satisfy others that our children are being cared for appropriately.

Reform of government regulations and state laws hover continuously on the horizon. The homeschooling community has always been divided about consultation with legislation review process - division fed by suspicion and ignorance. Regulation of home education has a major impact on the daily lives of homeschooling families. Without staying vigilant it's possible that one day homeschooling children may have to take standardised tests, which will mean studying a standardised or prescribed curriculum in order to do well on the tests. Families seeking an alternative education would find this unbearable. The result would be more families homeschooling 'underground' with the consequent lack of access to excellent educational resources available to every other student in the country.

We opted for home education because schools have let us down - they are not delivering what they promise to ALL students. Most of us don't want to replicate the mistakes made in the education system - we want to carve out a bold, brave new education system that is responsive to our children's individual learning needs, and to our personal, family and cultural heritage. To preserve this ability to educate our children at home in the way that we, as parents, see fit, then homeschooling, necessarily becomes political.

From time to time, the media drums up some interest in homeschooling and this creates debate. about the merits, and about the character of those that choose to drop out school-based education. Although less than 2% of children homeschool, home education is seen as a threat to public schooling. The rivalry between public and private education has a new facet - and the reaction by ardent public school supporters is as vitrolic as it has ever been. Despite the fact that home education substantially reduces the cost of education for the government and taxpayers, compared to private school education, public school advocates use the reduction in funding as a major objection to homeschooling. And these advocates have powerful political allies with considerable historical clout in the parents organisations and teacher unions. These people see home education as a challenge to public schools.

Many of the philosophies underpinning home education challenge the prevalent ideas of education and learning in society. By doing the job better than schools, home educators challenge the underlying assumptions of education (see Challenging Assumptions in Education, by Wendy Preirsnitz). As our children graduate and move into the adult world of work it will become even more apparent that home education is not only viable, but highly successful. Homeschooling graduates are already sought by employers and university selection boards in the USA as desirable.

Homeschoolers are up against some strong, but erroneous, beliefs. A common objection, loudly voiced by the school sector, is that in the absense of the 'melting pot' socialisation process of school, children will become elitist adults, living in secluded enclaves that somehow present a threat to the whole of society. This 'cult' view of home education is unfounded, yet it flourishes. People fear the unknown. People fear minorities - and home education represents a minority movement in Australia. Homeschoolers are not seen as harmless, or a fad that will fade, or a temparory reaction to local problems. And indeed, we are not these things. Our consumeristic dollar will soon begin to bite and as the commercial world of curriculum suppliers wakes up to potential market and takes up our cause as their own (in order to exploit us) our foes will work even harder to dissuade us from our path.

As a minority we're disadvantaged in a democracy, and like other minority causes, we need a strong, and loud lobby to be heard and understood. It's easy to sit back and let others take up the fight for a fair go - for our children - but ultimately, eventually, the fight will be brought to each and every homeschooling family.We mustn't let our busy lifestyles or political apathy distract us from being vigilant.

In the US, according to Larry and Susan Kaseman, "as soon as there were enough homeschoolers to be noticed, the educational establishment devised all kinds of anti-homeschooling schemes: Outlaw it (which never happened). Require homeschoolers to take state-mandated tests or submit their curriculums for review and approval or do whatever it takes to make them like public schools. Entice them to participate in public school programs, take classes, enroll in virtual charter schools."

The Kaseman's warn that:
"The pressure to increase state regulation of homeschooling, to keep it under control and make it more like conventional schooling and less of a threat means that actions of individual homeschoolers affect the whole homeschooling community, another reason homeschooling is political. Actions of individuals are magnified. If a family decides to eat only organic food and tells the manager of their local grocery store, other families will not be told to do the same. But if a homeschooler gives a school official more information than is required by statute this precedent will increase pressure on other homeschoolers to do the same."

Despite this bleak outlook there are some things we can ALL do to make the political life of home education much easier for all of us...

1. Understand your repsonsibilities according to your state law. Comply exactly and no more - or protest appropriately. Don't rely on others - seek the information you need for yourself. That way you will be sure that the information is up-to-date and relevant. The Kaseman's remind us that "often public officials are uninformed or misinformed about the specifics of the laws. It is our responsibility to know what laws say and to question and educate officials when necessary." Vanessa Whittaker's experience in South Australia is a brilliant example of what can be achieved when accurate information is acquired and acted upon.

2. Be wary of accepting funding and 'benefits' from government or educational instititutions or commercial enterprises - check the small print carefully for compulsory obligation. You may inadvertantly give away more than you gain! We can fight for access to services and opportunities funded by taxpayers without giving up the freedom to educate our children to the best of our abilities and needs. We should never have to compromise our educational standards to gain access to that which other students enjoy.

3. We need to carefully consider any long term effects of any action we take or iniate. This may mean that we read about others' experiences, especially fellow home educators in the USA and UK, who trod this weary path many years before us. Often the best intentioned actions backfire. Read books on home education, bookmark blogs and websites and visit them often. Keep up with recent research on home education outcomes. Stay informed!

4. Don't sacrifice the all important job of educating our children to play a leading role in the battle for equitable home education provision; find a niche that suits your interests and energy levels and play 'nicely' with other home educators. Value the contributions and efforts of others, even if you disagree with the direction or action - it will take everything we have to offer to combat the push to regulate us out of existence. Our strength lies primarily in our diversity. It's something governements and bureaucracies have difficulty dealing with. We rejected the 'one-size-fits-all' model of life when we turned out backs on school and chose to champion individual and autonomous learning for our children.

5. We need to work, in our own individual ways, to gain acceptance and support from the general public. This may be all the political activity you do - encouraging your relatives and neighbours that homeschooling is a successful and viable alternative to school based education. Or it may be the start of building supportive homeschooling communities. It's up to you. The Kasemans point out that "positive public opinion grows when homeschoolers write polite, articulate letters to the editor; are featured in media stories about the strengths of homeschooling; are active in their communities, etc". This is something we can all do at some time; it can even be part of our homeschooling learning programs.

We need to avoid public opinion swinging against us, as in when homeschooling is seen a fringe movement, or as something "too hard" forthe everyday person to do without help. As a fledgling movement we've done exceptionally well in a very short time. We need to build on our successes - learn from them - and encourage schools to learn from them as well. We have something positive to offer the world of education. Ours in an alternative that works, and deserves encouragement, not restriction.

Your feedback on this topic is most welcome.

cheers
Beverley
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au
http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com

Learning styles... I didn't meet this concept until my kids were in their teens so applied common sense only to my children. I learned when they were toddlers that I couldn't parent them the same way. Each child was different! What a surprise. I couldn't discipline Roger the same way as April, so all my research and knowledge on that subject went onto the top shelf and I started again. Thomas presented yet another version of child - eeek! What worked on Roger didn't work on him. I found myself using different parenting, teaching, disciplining... styles with each child. I guess you could say I learned about learning styles in a very natural fashion!

Somewhere along the way I had a sane moment and figured that if I worked out how best *I* learn I might get a handle on what to do with these three kids. I thought about all the things that make me tick - what I like, don't like, what turns me on, keeps me going, how I do things, both 'good' and 'bad', the distractions I'm addicted to, etc. I discovered that Robin -dear husband - didn't think like me... This was after a decade of marriage. Suddenly the problems in our marriage made sense. I fully expected that his brain was wired the same way as mine and couldn't understand why he couldn't analyse literature, or predict what people were going to do next, or do three things at once and still have a conversation with me! He suddenly realised why the kids stopped paying attention when he took on the role of teacher and preached his knowledge at them, expecting them to instantly learn... :-)

Without knowing that Howard Gardiner, Thomas Armstrong or Alan Thomas existed, I worked out that if I treated my children as PEOPLE, rather than children, and thought of us all as LEARNERS, then homeschooling became a lot easier. It had to do with respect, rather than doing or knowing anything in particular. By watching how my very different three learners learned, and by observing how *I* learned, it became apparent that we were all using very similar techniques, regardless of age. From there I noticed that I had definite preferences for particular methods. I like to read and think. I need to write. I have to make meaning that is personal. I don't retail details. I'm a big picture person. I test hypothesises. Learning styles - the things the above guys write about - is about preferences. Underneath the preferences we all learn in much the same way. As we grow we hone our preferences - usually at the expense of an all-round holistic education. Me, I gave up my musical ability to focus on my passion for writing stories instead of lyrics to songs. Every so often a few lines of a song will burst from me, original words and tune, and I wonder if, had I lived differently as tot, might I have become a Kylie Minogue? The 'left-brained' scientist and writer dominated and I'm happy.

Below is how I learn, and it's how I see most people, including my children learn. I accomodated my children's learning preferences/styles, once I recognised that they weren't little duplicates of me, where I could, and I probably could have done a much better job. It's about providing the most suitable resources and opportunities, but also about keeping education holistically balanced and continuously providing opportunity to exercise the whole body, mind and spirit, not just what we're naturally talented at or interested in... Howard Gardner's multiple intelligences - http://www.pz.harvard.edu/PIs/HG.htmis - are great way to get a handle on understanding the whole person. There is more great information at www.thomasarmstrong.com/multiple_intelligences.htm.

How I learn:

First I fully believe that "I live, therefore I learn!" I can't avoid learning - it's as natural as breathing (John Holt). As an asthmatic I know that, just as breathing can be laboured and hard work, so can learning...

When I look at how I learn best I can see the following processes happening:

I become immersed in whatever it is that I am interested in learning. I find out as much as I can about my task or interest - it becomes almost obsessive, until my appetite for information or quest for skills has abated. I become totally focussed and involved. It doesn't matter if I am learning to tie a shoe lace or rebuild a combustion engine, the concentration that follows my intense interest drives the learning process. This is immersion. This is natural learning.

I recognise that as an individual I would learn very little on my own and left to my own devices. Humans are social creatures - we learn by watching and by listening to others. Sometimes this is called imitation, or another, less favoured word is copying. But more importantly I observe the demonstrations that take place everyday of those skills and actions I need or want to emulate. The higher my interest or passion the closer I observe and learn. If I wanted to learn to play piano I would seek out the company of other pianists and watch, listen and learn, copy their playing techniques, ask them to demonstrate their skill for me. Observation and demonstration are key aspects to natural learning.

But learning doesn't flow from simply observing others demonstrating skills, or listening to the knowledge and wisdom of others. Learning involves engagement, actively doing whatever it is I need to do in order to learn. The best learning occurs when my interest is focussed and I am using my whole body. I am an active learner. A person that 'does' as well as 'think'. I actively construct my experiences, in a social context.

No one learns in a social vacuum. Whether the expectation to learn and succeed comes from within ourselves or from others this expectation is a necessary aspect of learning. A high level of expectation of success is a prerequisite to success. Natural learners trust in the innate ability of children and adults to learn. This trust is grounded on a firm foundation of acute observation of past experience. Most importantly, as a learner, I feel supported by this trust and faith in my ability to be a successful learner by important people in my life.

I understand the responsibility for learning rests completely with me, the learner. To engage in meaningful and successful learning I may engage the services of a teacher, but the teacher can't coerce or force me to learn if I am not interested or motivated to learn at that particular moment. I can remember many times learning 'parrot fashion' or memorising lessons in school that had no meaning for me. I scarcely remember the content of those lessons at all, and realise that much of what I learned at school was because I had to, rather than wanted to. I rarely understood why I needed to learn at all everything put before me, and most of it has either left me completely or has never been of any practical use in my adult life.

When I think back to my most successful learning experiences as a child I can see that I was fully engaged, interested and passionate. I now recognise that these were also the times that I carried the responsibility for my own learning, times I was allowed to be fully responsible for the learning occurring.

Of course, it is important to use and practice new learning or it quickly fades. This isn't the same as rote memorising or doing pages and pages of drill exercises... for the natural learner using the new skill or knowledge in a meaningful context a couple of times is all that is required to firmly cement it into the realms of experience, ready to be recalled and used at any time in the future. We tend to forget those things that are not of use, or interest or learned without full engagement of our minds and bodies.

As a learner I often make mistakes - make guesses, approximations, have a go, try things out. This is another essential aspect of the learning process. Everyone makes approximations in the learning process - there is nothing inherently wrong with it. Some people value the ability to make approximations highly, seeing it as creative or lateral thinking! Viewing 'mistakes' as positive learning experiences opens up many doors, inviting learners on journeys of discovery... The wisest piece of advice on learning that I've ever heard was to value the process of asking questions over that of discovering answers. The question is the key to discovery, and the question can never be wrong!

All of us need feedback, some kind of response to our learning journeys. I know I do. Natural learners don't thrive on reward or punishment - stickers, certificates or detention - no one does. Natural learners thrive on meaningful and positive feedback. Critical evaluation needs to be continuous, reflective, constructive, positive and supportive.

Learning is a natural phenomenon. It is like breathing. When it stops, you're dead! It occurs in the home learning environment regardless of educational philosophy and methodologies adopted. Taking advantage of this type of learning offers a superior education seldom found in educational institutions.

love, light and peace
Beverley
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au
http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com

What we do in daily life determines what maths we use and learn. The more we use our mathematical abilities the more we learn! If our lives are rich in opportunities to think mathematically, logically, rationally, recognise and use the patterns that are all about us every day; if we use our brains to calculate, and work out how to calculate mostly by thinking about how to do it, testing and trying out methods we dream up...

All this adds up to learning maths naturally and it is surprising how much we can learn without the help of others. Remember, once upon a time there were no books and that humanity came a long way without them!

Most of the maths we use is every day maths... those that use 'higher' maths are naturally drawn to learning those skills - originally from mentors and those they admired and wished to emulate, or as apprentices (working on the job, figuring out stuff because of a real need, rather than a 'curriculum' requirement. A text book can be a most suitable tutor. Natural learners use the tools they need to reach the goals they themselves set.

A busy life with lots to do, with a focus on practical projects and production basically ensures the development of natural maths skills. Most children will never become mathematicians, just like some children won't become authors or orators. We all need the basics though. Ask yourself what those basics are and concentrate on helping your children achieve mathematical proficiency in those areas through every day activities and then, when they reach the teenage years let them take their own learning on from there.

But exactly how to children learn maths skills naturally without text books - what does the process of learning look like? We all know our children seem to simply 'pick up' basic maths just from every day activities, but what goes on in their heads. I think it has a lot to do with recognising, manipulating and using patterns, but I'm no expert and I'm curious. What do other people think? Is it just a matter or leading a busy productive life which is what I keep telling people, or is there more to it than that?

love and peace to you all,
Beverley
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au
http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com

Question:
"I am writting to you to ask you for some information about homeschooling. My dad said before we decide on anything I have to get enough information to convince him why I should do homeschooling and what the advantages of my education being better are if I to learn from home and what the best homeschooling programe is to go with."

Answer:
How and what you would like to learn is important in working out what kind of home educational program you wish to go with. It's up to you. Most home educating families write their own learning programs tailored to their children's learning styles and family preferences. For example, a musically talented child will focus on learning music, while still learning basic literacy and numeracy skills and aiming for good general knowledge and life skills. A young person interested in astronomy will design their learning program around maths and the sciences, while maintaining a relationship with the world of fiction, possibly through movies, tv and computer media instead of books... I have some excellent books written for parents and teenagers about homeschooling that encourage both to consider education in a wider context than schools tend to - to embrace education as a life long pursuit not aimed at getting a job but at fulfilling one's potential in every direction. Look at my Always Learning Books website www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au and go to the pages for Homeschooling The Teen Years, Teenage Liberation Handbook and Guerrilla Learning to read reviews, contents lists, etc. For a more schoolish approach to homeschooling, visit the websites of the homeschool suppliers on my Homeschool Australia website http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com You'll find them on my Favourite Links pages. While you are browsing the Homeschool Australia website check out the many articles on homeschooling teenagers on my Articles Index. The other choice you have is to look into correspondence courses - you may be able to enrol in the state correspondence school - phone the education department in your state to obtain details and enrollment criteria. There are private correspondence schools that offer courses, especially post-compulsory school years such as the high school certificate or bridging courses. If you are over 15 you may consider TAFE as an option.

Does homeschooling work?

The number of research studies demonstrating the effectiveness of home learning for academic and social success increase each year. For many families the unintended outcomes far outweigh perceived academic benefits. These following homeschooling outcomes, combined from national and international research including John Peacock's major Australian study, The Why and How of Home Education in Australia, have been consistently listed:

• closer family relationships, with children playing a more positive and significant role in family life, and an emphasis on family making skills;
• parental personal fulfilment and increased learning opportunities for parents as well as children;
• greater understanding of personal responsibility;
• natural fostering of co-operative and team behaviours;
• an empowering process for both parents and children;
• greater freedom from arbitrary time limits such as terms and year levels to pursue educational activities and interests;
• increased opportunity for one to one interaction with more skilled peers or parents, which lead to cognitive challenges and gains;
• children are able to ask more questions, with more time allowed for answers to be found, leading to increased motivation for learning;
• children and parents engage in more complex language in the home learning environment compared with classroom settings, and this improves the intellectual and language development of children;
• children have been consistently shown to rate equal to or higher than average on standardised achievement tests in the USA;
• home educated children's self concept has been shown to be significantly higher than schooled children, indicating that home education does not socially deprive children but produces socially well adjusted young people;
• children are less peer oriented;
• increased involvement in community activities;
• greater attainment of independent learning skills, self-motivation and organisational abilities.

Schools promise of these outcomes but fail to guarantees achievement for all students. Schools continue to fail students, citing many excuses - family problems, individual learning difficulties, lack of adequate resourcing, under-financing by funding bodies. Homeschooling families find failure an unacceptable outcome. The drive to succeed in the homeschooling endeavour is very high, with parents continuously searching for better and more successful methods, resources and outcomes. Unlike teachers, parents are directly accountable to the homeschooled student, in an immediate way, every day. Problems with education are not left to fester indefinitely. Homeschooling allows considerable flexibility in delivering excellence in education - flexibility schools can't match.

My own children, homeschooled since 1986, and now aged 24, 22 and 18, were allowed to follow their interests and participate fully in family life and activities, which included building, landscaping, running a small business, gardening, household chores, work experience, voluntary and paid employment during their teen years. At 24, April now manages a retail/service shop; at 22 Roger is employed and a landlord of two investment properties; at 18 Thomas manages my many websites and assists me in running Always Learning Books, as well as taking care of our menagerie of almost 100 furry and feathered pets! People often commented on how mature and sensible my children were as they were growing up, and find them respectful, cooperative, and knowlegable about a huge range of topics.

An 'alternative' education based on your personal and family interests, hobbies and passions is worth exploring - matching what and how and when you learn to your intrinsic motivation to learn, rather than jumping through arbitrary hoops to pass exams or land a job or place at university. Living life, rather than learning about it, is the best education to be had and has proved effective over millenia. You can still learn from books, do courses, and learn from teachers who are passionate about what they are doing. The difference is that you get to choose the quality of experience and materials... The learning resources available to you are infinite and amazing, starting with your local library and community.

Good luck on your life long educational journey!

Beverley
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au
http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com

We homeschooled for a couple of years when April and Roger were first at school age, then attended an alternative class where parents could attend and be involved as much as they like for a couple of years. We dropped out when they sprayed termiticide under the school building for six months, then returned as a part-time school and homeschooled family. We had another stint of full time homeschooling, then April chose to go to regular highschool part-time, and finally full-time for years 11 and 12. Her brothers remained completely homeschooled.

I think any time spent homeschooling is empowering, for both child and parents (and any school going siblings). It shows that there are many ways to become educated, not just one. It gives parents and children an opportunity to really get to know one another, work cooperatively through difficult situations as they happen, and to find satisfactory solutions that suit individual family members and current circumstances. It shows that the 'one size fits all' solutions often paraded about in our society as the best aren't the only ones out there.

Sometimes I think that it would be good to rewrite our past - there are things I fantasise about doing differently, but realise that we wouldn't be the wonderful family we are today if not for the experiences we went through. Would I risk changing that? Everything in our lives is a learning experience and it's up to us to find the 'lesson' in each and every moment, savour it, and move on... to the next. No regrets - only learning opportunities!

Our haphazard school/homeschooling life over the last 20 years has only made us wiser and stronger. We've tried a little of everything on the smorgasbord, rejected that which didn't seem best for us at the time and embraced that which worked well. The most empowering thing about home education is that it gives us CHOICE.

cheers
Beverley
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au
http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com

Much of what I learned about educating my children at home came slowly, almost painfully at times, as I learned to let go of what I thought I should do and began to listen to what my children needed, and reflected on how they were naturally learning despite my clumsy attempts at teaching them.

Nowadays I tell people to allow plenty of time to 'let go'. Change needs to be slow and considered, and achieved with mindfulness, to be lasting. Change also happens without any effort at all at this speed. All you really need to do is challenge your motivation to achieve educational goals with your children. Ask yourself 'why do I want them to learn or do this?' often - and don't restrict this to the obvious educational lessons in life. I questioned things like cleaning teeth three times and day and why children should wear shoes... I continually test my assumptions by imagining if I'd do and think the same thing if I lived in a different era, place, culture or as a different person. My beliefs and attitudes are forever being adjusted in the light of my new understandings.

Homeschooling life became a lot easier for all of us when I learned to recognise those imperatives that came from MY head and heart. Most of my earlier educational goals were based on what I thought people wanted me to do, what I thought was expected of me, as well as my fears that people would think I wasn't good enough as a mother or educator if I didn't live up to these expectations (which were guided by the parenting I had as a child, as well as the onslaught of messages from a hyperactive consumeristic media!) My homeschooling learning programs weren't centred, they weren't grounded in what each of my children needed to learn next in their lives, based on who they were, but on what society said they should be, and what I should be... and what I needed to own to get there...

Once I slowed down and stopped rushing in to satisfy those unknown others, or the nagging critic in my head, I had time to watch and listen to my children - as they played, as they talked to each other and to me, as they worked. I was surprised by how much 'work' my children did each day. I used to think that they played all day, but when I stopped trying to organise their time so much I saw that much of their play taught them the very lessons I'd spend hours preparing! Learning, play and work soon became inseparable. For children, learning is invisible. It's a pity we make it visible - that only leads to confusion.

cheers
Beverley
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au
http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com

I made all the usual 'mistakes' as a parent and knew nothing about attachment parenting, or non-coersive parenting and only came across TCC when my eldest was nearly 5 and I was pregnant with my third child... The kids turned out all right though and I thoroughly recommend regularly apologising to your kids and explaining your ignorance and learning process as you go along!

I ditched notions of 'good' and 'bad' altogether and adopted the more sensible approach of considering behaviour and situations as 'appropriate' and 'not appropriate'. I hate the value/moral judgement that comes from using 'good' and 'bad'. I think John Holt once wrote about the uselessness of the word 'good' - just exactly what does it mean? Try defining it... it depends heavily on context, which means that people have to more or less guess what you're getting at. Those two words seem to invoke shame more than any other words in our language! I'm not a fan of shame.

'Appropriate' tends to look at behaviour in a matter of fact way - does this behaviour achieve the desired results? Then we start looking at motivation and goals, and actions in the light of what we need and want, from ourselves, the situation and others. It dampens the emotion by applying rational thought - action instead of reaction.

I even stopped using the terms 'negative' and 'positive', which were buzz words when my childrne were young, and started using 'constructive' and 'destructive' as these words clearly conveyed exactly what I wanted. An action or behaviour is very clearly constructive - it builds - or destructive, or destroys. This could be building friendship, community, happy feelings, desired outcomes, anything that will help us reach our eventual goals; or destroying friendship, producing unhappy or hurt feelings, breaking belongings, moving us further from our goals...

It took a lot of reprogramming for me to change my inner and outer dialogue but the more I persisted in changing the language I used the quicker my behaviour and attitudes changed. I was patient with myself. I see life as a learning journey full of 'learning opportunities' - something I used to call 'mistakes'! Learning is about having a go, making approximations, slowly adjusting our actions to gradually produce the desired outcome. Somewhere along the line this process became fixated on getting it 'right' (whatever that means!) the first time. We were then made to feel ashamed for not learning in a fast and furious manner, or for not being 'perfect' (whatever that means!).

I blame school, of course! But blaming isn't an appropriate (in this case useful or constructive) action... :-)

cheers
Beverley
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au
http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com

A homeschooling friend recently had the problem that every lesson she prepared for her son simply became a springboard to something totally different - usually in the direction he wanted to take it which wasn't the outcome she'd planned for at all. An ex-teacher friend made the comment that he had "too much control over his environment, and that school would show him that life isn't all about what he wants".

This is something I battled with for years - knowing that my kids needed to learn the tough lessons... Eventually I realised that life itself teaches us that. We can't get what we want when we want it all the time, and sometimes not at all, for lots and lots of reasons, and when we think about it, this is a lesson that we begin learning - naturally - in the crib! We seem to worry more about our kids learning this lesson when other people point it out to us; for example, when their perception is that our kids are 'spoiled' or could be 'spoiled' by us not forcing them to accept - right now - the inevitable reality that life isn't what we'd like it to be all the time!

Thomas has come to slowly work out - in his teen years - that there are many things in life that need to be done that he doesn't want to do, but they must be done for life to flow smoothly, or for him to be able to achieve his goals. It's a matter of simply getting on and doing them. Putting them off seems to make the tasks more arduous - the expectation of burden grows and grows and begins to overwhelm... I don't think any of my children would have learned this lesson earlier in life - they simply didn't have the self-awareness. Children don't think about time the way that adults do. They live much more in the moment, something many of us strive to achieve once again through learning meditation, etc!

I used to worry that my children will never learn the harsh lessons if they weren't forced to suffer the consequences, etc when they were young. I hated forcing my children to do anything - the battles were exhausting. All too often I gave in - and sometimes I wish I'd been a little more consistent with my parenting approach - but overall, the passing of time and living of life with its myriad of experiences was enough to teach my children these lessons. And in a much more gentler, less stressful and self-esteem affirming way!

I now question MY motives for wanting my children to learn or do anything. If I'm driven by a need to satisfy the expectations of others I back down. As a family we've learned to weed out the unnecessary wants from the real and immediate needs. Chores can be a bore, but they need to be done and when we work within a framework of needs, satisfaction seems to follow.

Some folk will have you believe that the only way to learn how to deal with bullying - another of life's harsh realities - is to experienced bullying first hand at school... :-)

cheers
Beverley
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au
http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com

I spent the first ten years of my kids' lives trying to be anti-violent and then finally realised that my kids hate violence too. Just because they played 'wars' and 'gun games' didn't mean they had a violent streak. Over time, the more we homeschooled and had less and less to do with school socialised kids the more my children preferred cooperative games to competitive games, the more cooperative their play became, and so on. But they still liked playing violent games, like chasey games with pretend guns, using olives (from our trees) as bullets or bombs, etc.

They also made some pretty authentic looking weapons! And when computer games became a big thing in our lives they loved playing violent computer games. I didn't mind the dungeon and dragon type games - I grew up on fairy stories - but the commando games affected me quite a bit. I had to leave the room - sometimes because it was just too much for me - the blood and gore and mindless violence, but at other times it was at their request - they'd had enough of my whinging and tongue-clicking!

Playing gun and war games seemed to be more of a boy thing more than a girl thing. April preferred to spend her time reading about violent action... usually in sci-fi fantasy books as she grew into adolescence. But we all watched movies that had a quite a bit of violence in them. I found my children to be more robust when confronted with unpleasant behaviour from others, or with portrayals of real violence on the television or radio news. Were they desensitised? Perhaps, but as a result we could get right into talking about what we'd seen or heard. This promoted thinking skills.

One of the main things my children taught me about this subject was that they knew the difference between the world of pretend and the real world. Fiction was fiction and violence in fiction didn't bother them. I kept telling them that every time I saw a person shot on the screen, or in a game, I'd think that somewhere in the world it was really happening and that made me very sad and bugged me. They absorbed that, but they kept the difference uppermost in their minds. The problem was mine, not theirs.

An interesting thing happened one day that highlighted the fact that my children weren't 'numbed' by playing violent games or watching violent movies... We were in the pizza shop and the local policeman walked in - this was back in the days when they'd just begun wearing their guns so visibly. It freaked us out. None of us felt safe. We talked about it afterwards. This showed me that my children weren't emotionally desensitised to violence. The other thing that reassured me that playing and pretending to be violent - especially emulating the kind of fictionalised violence the children seemed to naturally want to play - never included domestic violence, though I have to admit that the teddy bears and dolls were often smacked and punished in the early years... Fictionalised portrayals of domestic violence, or cruelty to animals and children always distressed my children. I am glad to say they never witnessed real cruelty, though they did neglect the pets once and the consequences were a severe lesson the children didn't forget.

We live in a very violent world where too many people have little respect for themselves, their neighbours, and their environment. Trust is an endangered aspect in our lives. I find homeschooling builds trust - between family members first, and then with others, slowly but surely, by giving us the time to build respectful relationships. That time is the most precious thing homeschooling gives us.

cheers
Beverley
www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au
http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine.com

first published in August/September issue of Homeschool Australia magazine
http://ha-magazine.beverleypaine.com

I was asked recently what I thought about allowing children to try high school, if they asked to go. I said that I would not have denied April, or Roger or Thomas the opportunity to go to school, or try it out, if that's what they really wanted.

Because I had personally had been out of the school system so long I felt I was not equipped to judge whether or not school was/would be suitable for my children... I'm one of those folk that all too often gave in to the concept of "benefit of doubt".

When my children did go to school, during the primary school years, I found a school that I could attend with them. We basically homeschooled at school and the other children in the class copped the benefit of that!

High school was different. I enrolled for one subject at year 12 level and attended classes all year - that was an eye opener and if more parents were to head back to high school and give it a go most would be pulling their kids out quick smart! I wasn't happy that my children opted for part time high school but I didn't actively discourage it - to begin with.

I saw high school as a waste of their time and energy. I could see that the gains didn't outweigh the losses. My children saw that too... April was happy to cop that and continued but Roger dropped out after a year. Ultimately, by the time April was attending full time, we worked out that she was learning stuff at school (that had nothing to do with the school curriculum) that she couldn't learn at home, mostly because I wasn't willing to put the effort in... I wouldn't ever do that again and advise people to try their hardest to source materials and resources outside of the school system. School looks like an easy road to travel, but the excess baggage you pick up on the way isn't worth it!

I didn't like to say 'no' to my kids often. I was forever telling them 'don't say no, have a go' - the idea was that they couldn't refuse an activity (or piece of food on their plate!) without trying it first... I didn't push things on them very often. I maintained that as parent I had the power of 'veto' but that I liked to be argued with because I'm not always right and don't always have the best perspective on things, and I definitely don't know everything...

The drive or need to try high school seems to be an issue with homeschooled girls when they reach puberty. Their need to define their identity in social settings seems more acute than it does for boys and they reach this stage much sooner. I think that as homeschooling parents we need to guard against the urge to accept school as an option - because of the fact that they really are quite young... They may seem ready to handle that kind of socialisation process, but most aren't.

I get questions from parents torn between supporting their child's declared 'need' to go to school, and their conviction as parents that they should say "no". We didn't face this until April had been attending for some time. We spent a year - the first full-time year - where I ranted and raved and was totally non-supportive of school, mostly because she'd come home and whinge incessantly about school. She was 16... I think that made a difference. The whole thing almost ruined our close relationship... When she turned 17 I realised that 'school' was the thing she was studying - how people are managed, how bureaucracies are run, how people systems work... She needed to be part of a large organisation because she was learning to be a manager (she now manages a small shop). At the same time she was working up to 30 hours a week at the supermarket, so her appetite for learning this stuff was huge. We could have found another way to satisfy this need in April if we'd become more involved in our local community earlier.

I think that if the parent and child can talk about all the aspects of going to school or not going to school with openness and honesty - let each other know what you each really fear, what you think, what you hope for - then ultimately whatever happens will be for the best for both of you. Thomas and I have huge blues but we stick at it, teasing out all aspects of whatever it is we aren't agreeing on, sometimes storming off into our corners to cool off, then apologising for any 'meanness' and getting stuck into the issue again... We want to understand each other so we can work effectively together to help each other reach whatever goals we've set. I often have to back down from my position, even though I think that I know best. He demands to learn on his own terms, in his own way, and is annoyed that I work my butt off to 'protect' him... I have - very slowly - learned to trust my children, to let them make their own learning journeys - which they will, anyway, with or without me! That's the hard bit - trusting that, no matter what, all will turn out for the best, one way or another.

The thing about my children trying high school was that, unlike all the other kids there they were free to come home, whenever they wants. I made it clear to April that she didn't have to 'perform' for 'good grades' or do work that didn't make sense, although I did insist that she honour her commitments and negotiate with her teachers if she disagreed with the curriculum they had set for her. This freedom (and responsibility) made all the difference to April. She was able to quit a class because the teacher was incompetent (a judgement she made and I supported). She didn't have to do assignments or obey rules that didn't make sense, so long as she protested in an appropriate manner. Her assertiveness impressed classmates and teachers alike and the establishment didn't really know what to make of it... April didn't feel pressed to perform, get grades, or do anything that didn't feel 'right' or comfortable... We gave her the support to be herself within that environment. We talked about all this stuff a LOT at home, but then again, that was because April was intensely interested in how and why people do what they do...

I was always buoyed up by the positive family experiences of some of my best friends whose children did go to school and who were doing fine... It's not easy to get the best from school, but it doesn't have to a totally negative experience either.

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Yesterday, on the http://groups.yahoo.com/group/australianhomeschoolers/ the discussion turned to defining 'giftedness' (digest 453).

Kim asked what we all thought giftedness and said, "I did a fair bit of specialisation in giftedness and 'special' ed, back in my teaching & studying days and I felt fairly strongly about giftedness and what it meant. Now, I've almost come full circle. I feel every child is gifted. Every child has intelligence in one form or another (we're all so different). And that when children are given freedom to learn on their own terms they flourish in whatever it is they are learning. My concern with the 'gifted' label is that many children who are labeled as gifted are very good at 'school' type stuff. This puts the emphasis on the person judging the giftedness and not on the actual child."

Like Kim, I've spent a fair amount of time thinking about this subject. I, too, found that young children 'dumbed down' considerably when they went to school and lost the ability to 'learn' and 'think' - hence the need for DeBono's great books. I've known some gifted homeschooling students who were accelerated through school-type learning activities in their younger years who lost the touch before their teen years, but still shone in areas of high interest - way beyond what most children or people are capable of. So I still believe in the notion of 'giftedness' - some people are naturally talented, some in one or two areas only and others in whatever piques their interest.

As always, personal interest, usually displayed as seemingly insatiable passion or curiosity, is the heart of motivation for learning. With a 'gifted' child the parent works very hard to accomodate this - and it is hard work finding all the resources, be they people, places or materials. The thirst for knowledge and ability is intense. Most parents of gifted children I know tend to sacrifice their own lifes - or at least put them on hold - until the child is old enough to be responsible for his or her own learning.

I've met some precocious homeschooling parents who think their children are special and deserve special treatment and they seem to get high on telling everyone how great their child is... And sometimes the child is gifted at age four, but by age eight is pretty much like all the other kids in the homeschooling group.

Nowadays I do my best not to judge the child or parent but treat them both like I would any other child or parent - with encouragement to "be" whoever they are today and to "do" whatever is needed to be done right now to fulfil that learning need.

According to Stephanie Tolan, in an article on Annette Hall's website http://reliableanswers.com:

"It's a tough time to raise, teach or be a highly gifted child. A school system that defines giftedness as behaviour, achievement and performance is compromised in its ability to recognize its highly gifted students. This cheetah metaphor will help us see the problem with achievement-oriented thinking in our schools today.

Her cheetah metaphor is the clearest description of giftedness that I've read. Most of us agree that, in nature, it's important to preserve biodiversity. Looking at the issue from this point of view creates a powerful argument in support of accurate labelling and individual treatment of every child.
Beverley

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I've alway found being gifted a burden - I'm convinced I'm not gifted enough and that sucks. I'm somewhere between normal and extraordinary - I never ever truly 'excel' at anything and that bugs me. I've been brought up to always do my best, but habitually only ever achieve 95%, which for most people would be brilliant and they'd be ecstatic to be able to do what I seem able to do with ease. But for me, because I'm driven by this external motivation to please others, deliver perfection (100% or A++) and always do the very best I can, achieve my potential, whatever that is, etc, etc, etc... I feel like an eternal failure.

I was identified as 'bright' and 'gifted' as a child. The teachers despaired because I looked eternally bored at school. I wasn't. I was somewhere else - in my head. I just have that kind of face. I look bored, or sad, or tired, unless I'm thoroughly engaged in a learning task, which is when I am truly enjoying myself. How can anyone be in that state in a classroom?

I remember, with absolute clarity, the look of disappointment on my year 11 teacher's face as he handed me back my assignment, with an 'A-'. 'A-' was always a failure to me. I was an 'A++' student, no less. A 'B' grade horrified me. A C and I felt depressed, ready to chuck it in. Failing year 12 hurt - but I'm so glad I began to abandon the need to fit into other people's ideas of who I should be halfway through that year and discover who I really am. People like me try to overcome the damage for the rest of their lives.

Although my abilities were paraded (Beverley as merit badge! - look at me, aren't I clever, I have a clever daughter!!!) no one took the time to help me identify my true strengths and value them enough to guide me into developing those abilities further. I found that as a bright kid adults had their own agendas about what was good for my future. Spending all day reading and writing fiction wasn't part of that. I had to be a scientist, a brain surgeon, or something along that vein - fame, prestige, university degrees, and a high paying job was the perceived end point of 'brightness'.

I remember desperately wanting to fail in grade 5, not only to win the kind of attention my not so bright (but artistically talented - again, not valued) sister had. Failure seemed the only way to be free of the pressure to perform.

I was one of those kids that enjoyed school, but year 12 was enough to put me off writing for a decade. It wasn't until I did a creative dance class as a young mum that I finally found a few words of poetry bubbling up from somewhere deep inside. I hugged those words and danced around the house for about an hour! It's been a long journey from there to published author. The wounds bite deep. I don't want to be gifted or talented because when you get there, when you do your best, they move the bar higher. If you are an author you have to be a JK Rowling or Steven King - the interest drops when people find out you're not on the best selling list.

I hate the cultural imperative in our western society that says we have win gold, nothing less. If you aren't first then you are a loser. I hate the phrase 'achieve his or her potential'. It's never enough. Bright kids work really hard to get there. It's not something they chose to do, they are driven by some innate force they can't turn off. I've spent my life wanting to turn that force off.

All children, from the tiniest babe, are alive with potential - but it's potential to grow and be and do, not anything in particular that we value or determine, but who they are. Given unconditional love, given selfless attention, a young person will spend his or her life learning about who he or she is, what they can do with ease and what is challenging. Given patient understanding and the time and space to discover this without external pressure to perform, he or she will learn that it's the challenging things that provide the most pleasure and satisfaction. Growing and learning and changing are exhilarating, breathless. Discovery and invention make the heart beat faster.

Kids naturally push themselves to grow - in all directions. We are the ones that place limits on that growth - consciously and unconsciously. I always feel the need to back off around children. I've intervened and pushed my face into their time and space, thinking I was 'helping them learn and grow' all too often. Kids need us to back off more than anything, but to be there, beaming our unconditional love and faith all the time, quietly in the background. They need that reassurance that we care enough to be there for them, like a safety net, to catch them sometimes, to let them fall at other times, and always to pick them up and set them on the course again, without judgement. That's what makes parenting the hardest job in the world.

© Beverley Paine

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Children, and even adults, often give up developing their skills and talents because they fear they will never be as good as the athletes, singers, performers, writers, actors, musicians, sports men and women, etc paraded on the television and media each day. I've fallen victim to this myself. Why write a children's novel when I can never reach the dizzying heights of JK Rowling? I will never be as good as Roald Dahl... The world doesn't need another mediocre children's author...

How can we combat this pervasive depression of 'ordinary' talent?

The CM approach to homeschooling encourages "living books" - I like this, though never explored it personally with my children. I think that perhaps biographies and autobiographies (and perhaps some sensitive and more accurately portrayed movies) are a better way to introduce our children to the extraordinary abilities of others (or better still - real life encounters!) because at least they will see that these people are human and struggle with fragile egos and self-doubts the same as the rest of us.

I think that shows like "Idol" might be okay if they stressed the journey more and the 'winning' less... Instead of focussing on eliminating the less popular (and therefore deemed to be less talented) perhaps the show could focus on how hard it is to be a performer (or whatever, depending on the nature of the show) - the 'staying power' required, and what drives that, the support mechanisms needed to continue in a chosen field against all odds, etc. These shows could be about character building as much as showcasing extraordinary talent. In that way EVERYONE can take something from the show instead of being voyeuristic armchair critics, knowing in their heart of hearts they will never amount to much at all.

The days when families played and sang most days doesn't have to be gone forever... Maybe it is time to turn off the box, reject the magazines with their competitive messages, and have some quality family time where each person is able to explore and develop their talents in a non-competitive environment.

If we can't manage to do that (and I know how hard it is to turn off the box!) then we need to work really hard to continuously give ourselves and others permission to 'be' - to 'be' exactly who they are in this moment in time (not the next or future moments years away), in this particular situation and circumstance. We need to drop our expectations of others and allow them to express themselves without need to judge them or their actions; to act rather than react with this in mind. I find that so hard - the urge to judge is amazingly strong, but then again, I was brought up to fear judgemental authority, and as a kid I knew that when I grew up I would be in a position of authority. My training was to learn how to judge, not how to accept and offer permission...

© Beverley Paine

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Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe. ceehiro.

Read the article: http://www.bisso.com/ujg_archives/000224.html

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I'm not a regular watcher of A Current Affair, put off by the blatant promotion of products and all too often aggressive reporting style. I wasn't surprised to find this little gem at the bottom of TVs A Current Affair website - it confirms that this program is definitely NOT a NEWS program:

"Would you like to appear on ACA? Simply tell us a little bit about yourself and we'll let you know when we're looking for extras or people to roadtest products!"
http://aca.ninemsn.com.au/default.asp

I remember when ACA was a current affairs program, reporting on local news and providing background information to many stories presented more briefly in the News. It like the internet now - hard to tell fact from fiction or opinion. In a study done in Australia about consumer's perception of advertising, advertising is said to be more trustworthy because there is no hidden agenda as there can be with news media and politicians.

A recent survey by the research organisation Ipsos Australia unearthed signs of growing scepticism about matters far more serious than advertising: 63 per cent of survey respondents agreed that "I don't trust news and current affairs programs as much as I once did".
Hugh Mackay, Advertising as the real thing
Fairfax Digital, January 3, 2004

I'm not sure if I fall into to growing group of people falling prey to such scepticism, which paradoxically, contributes to a more sympathetic attitude to advertising, but I know that when I'm interested in a product, I'm put off by the kind of fake 'news' reports paraded by programs like ACA. Give me an honest, well-constructed advertsising campaign any day. But what works best? I suspect that the current affair 'ads' win the ever-increasing competitive battle for our dollars.

As Mackay asserts in his article, advertising is a cleaner industry than it used to be, with regulations providing protection against false, misleading or exaggerated claims. Plus, I belong to the growing crowd of remote control freaks that don't hesitate to hit the "mute" button or change channels when confronted by ads I find offensive or patronising - like Mackay says, I "simply won't give them space in my mind". But I'm much less likely to tune out or away from a personal interest story that's been cleverly designed to hook and hold my interest. We all know that ads are geared to manipulate our emotions and thus sell us whatever they're designed to do, but how many of us know that these so-called "current affairs" programs are covertly doing the same?

Surely programs such as "A Current Affair" would be more suitably named "A Consumer Affair".

© Beverley Paine

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I've had a few phone calls this week from families interested in homeschooling but not sure exactly what homeschooling is...

How I define homeschooling usually involves talking more about how to go about homeschooling than actually coming up with a description of what it is... Simply because homeschooling looks different in every homeschooling home you visit!

Most families come to the idea of homeschooling with 'school-at-home' firmly in their minds and are surprised to learn that it isn't like the old school-of-the-air or correspondence school, where the child is sent a package of books and assignments to complete and send back. Some families are looking for a curriculum that they can apply, and some ask if I mark work and give grades.

It's not surprising that families begin with these thoughts because this form of education is often all we've experienced. In addition, the educational authorities, who will try to convince us that we must be 'registered' or 'approved', reinforce this image of education.

As home educators the best place to start is not by looking for answers out there - even from forums like this, though I hope that our chit chat will offer much reassurance that you're on the right path. The very best place to start your home educating journey is by asking yourself - and perhaps your child if he or she is old enough - what you think education is... Define 'education'. And then work out what you want education to deliver in terms of goals - goals for this week, this month, this term (if you must use school terminology!), this year as well as the kind of person you want your child to be when he or she turns 18!

This thinking task will keep you busy for at least a week! But it will give you a basis from which to develop YOUR family homeschooling philosophy - a solid place from which to start looking for homeschooling styles, approaches and resources.

© Beverley Paine

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I am learning, rather belatedly, that the only way for me to remain motivated about cooking (and not feel resentful that in my adult family I am still the one who plans, shops and prepares most of the meals!) is to give myself plenty of time for preparation and cooking of meals. I have always left food preparation to the last minute - it's an area I've slotted into the 'chores' basket, rather than consider it a life-saving and soul nurturing task. As a result I'm grossly overweight and my young adult children don't put in enough time or consideration to this area of their lives.

Food is an essential element of each and every day. The quality of our lives hinge on what we and how we eat. It is very important. Helping our children understand this and giving them the tools to take over the kitchen is, in my opinion, more important than educating our children!

If we made the planning, preparation and cooking of meals, together with cleaning up afterwords, a loving ritual that we shared with our children each day, I think we'd find that motivation. But we won't be able to do this if we are pushed for time, or make meal preparation a low priority on a daily basis. This is what I am finding, and finally correcting, in my life. Healthy eating helps make us happy people. Happy people have voracious learning appetites!

One resource I am finding useful is Mary Ann Kelly's Menu Planner from her website www.thehomeschoolmom.com/kitchen. Mary has a host of free resources, including the e-book Fast and Healthy Meals for Busy Women: Reliable Recipes for Busy Families, for homeschooling families.

If motivating ourselves to enjoy kitchen life is difficult, how can we interest and involve our children in the kitchen? One idea may be to try Laura Bankstown's free Cooking With Kids Homeschool Newsletter. Laura has even written The Homeschool Cooking with Kids System in a Box which comes with five free gifts to further enhance your homeschooling lifestyle.

The important thing to remember is that we're not alone with this issue - many homeschooling parents struggle to balance their daily workload and often it's mealtime planning and food preparation that loses it's sparkle. By networking with other parents we can more easily find solutions that suit our individual families.

© Beverley Paine

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Throughout our journey as home educators I foudn that as unschoolers we learned from books, even text books. Always have done. I also wrote lesson plans and we did structured learning in all subject areas. I believe that we use whatever tools we need to do the job... I tended to look for tools that I know will work for my individual children. Recognising which tools they were took time - in my case several years as I'm a bit of slow learner (my arrogance got in the way - I always figured I knew best before I found out that I, too, am a learner!). At some stage I began to learn about learning styles and that helped quite a bit. Thomas challenged me as he developed his language skills later than his older siblings. What worked with April didn't work with Roger and then Thomas. I was forever learning new tricks!

What sets unschoolers aside from school-at-homers is that we don't rigidly follow a curriculum written and devised by someone outside of our family. We may use a set of text books, or a set of books, or documentaries. These can offer what I called a 'backbone' to our learning in a particular area, which would then branch out in many different directions, with us accessing a huge range of varied resources.

My haphazard recording - conducted throughout our homeschooling adventure - was paramount in building confidence that even when we weren't doing 'bookwork' the children were learning in leaps and bounds.

John Holt advocated learning from books and mentors and tutors - and he apparently coined the term 'unschooler'. What he was against was coercing children to learn from books, or only using books - as they did in schools way back.

I do my level best not to have regrets in any area of my life. If I had my time as a homeschooling mum over again, I'd do things very differently. But I'm happy with the outcome nonetheless. We achieved my goals - the ones I wrote in 1986. I'd give our homeschooling assignment a B+ if I had to grade it. Which is something to be proud of.

If I had known then what I knew now - something none of us can do - I'd probably have given us an A. That's my problem though. :-) We did what we did and how we did it for a reason and life worked out the way it did for a reason and we're all learners with lessons to learn each and every day. The reason is that we learn by trying, by stumbling and by thinking about the problems, coming up with solutions and trying them out, and stumbling again, and trying again, and again and along the way we learn so much about the nature of life, of ourselves, of the natural world, of others, of the materials we use and need, how it all interacts, and why we need to keep learning, and helping each other learn.

© Beverley Paine

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Philip asked "Any Dads sharing the home schooling here in Oz?"

My husband, Robin, fully shared in our homeschooling experience, plus the parenting in the early years, when I tried a stint at working part time, which fell through due to health problems. We continued active co-parenting, and then embarked on the home education journey together.

I always felt that because of my personality I had the lion's share of the responsibility when it came to organising and planning the educational program of our children, which, even though it was mostly unschooling, still required a great deal of thought and organisation, perhaps more so than simply following a curriculum written by someone else. I slowly came to realise just how important Robin's investment in his children was - and that of other fathers, who although not present during most of their children's awake hours, like Robin was, nonetheless added a great deal to their education.

The educational opportunities our children were exposed to because they had a dad who wanted to be an active part of their life were great. Robin's a handy man - there is little that he won't tackle, from fixing toasters to washing machines, cars to computers. His hobby is alternative energy solutions and he built our power system. He loves building, and since the arrival of our children has built two homes, plus too many sheds, fences, chookhouses, etc! I rely on him for brute strength when it comes to landscaping and gardening, as well as his wisdom. Robin is a walking encyclopaedia, with a fascination for trivia and solving puzzles - two things I hate doing. His ability to remember this kind of detail balances my kind of memory. The differences between us is what led me to discover learning styles, and how important they are in building and maintaining relationships, as well as getting the most from every learning experience.

The children - including April, our eldest - have excellent technical abilities and have all become handypeople themselves. April likes to build things out of wood and doesn't hesitate to tackle repair jobs around her house if she can. Roger and Thomas show great skill at designing and building and work diligently at most tasks. The do-it-yoursef and self-sufficiency skills Robin has fostered in the children are invaluable.

Watching my children, especially Roger and Thomas, as they grew into adolescence and adult life, and the way they respond to toddlers and younger children, is always a joy. They have incredible empathy for children and are exceptionally patient. This, I believe, comes from Robin's example. Although gentleness and a deep respect for children is in Robin's nature, I am positive that his hands-on parenting increased his understanding of how children think and learn, and what they need, and his thoughtful responses set the example for the children to follow.

At one stage I challenged Robin, asking him what he would do if I died - would he feel confident to homeschool them alone. He didn't feel confident at all, and this worried me at the time, and I felt vindicated in my observation that I was doing most of the homeschooling work, but in hindsight, we both underestimated his involvement. It's too easy to discount the everyday stuff dads naturally do with their children, or around the house and home - activities and behaviour that show by example. Emulating admired and trusted others is proably the most efficient learning tool we have in our learning tool boxes - that and conversation and story-telling.

I think that when dads take the time out to be busy and active at home, and to talk to their children and take an intersest in what they are doing and thinking in a supported and interested way, like Robin always did, then they are playing a major role in their children's education. Dads that go that one step further and take on the role of home educator as a stay-at-home dad can only further enrich their children's education. And that rich sense of fulfillment and friendship works both ways!

© Beverley Paine

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This question recently came my way... "Do you think a more structured programme suits reluctant or self motivated learners?"

I think this goes to the heart of the issue concerning unschooling or homeschooling methods - we all need to find resources and approaches that suit our individual learners, regardless of whatever style or approach of teaching/learning suits us as home educating parents.

I'd start by looking at the multiple intelligences and learning style theories. A google search will bring up hours of reading, mostly from the guys that developed these theories in the first place. Pigeon-holing a child into a 'style' or 'intelligence type' will help you understand that child's learning needs right now - I say that because a child grows and develops and if we're addressing the child's immediate needs then the learning style should change and the tendency to lean in one direction will gradually become more balanced.

I believe that all children are initially motivated to learn - it's natural to want to learn. Forcing children to learn things out of context to their lives - when there is no meaning that they can grasp or make for themselves, such as teaching algebra for the sake of it because it's a step on the way to calculus which isn't needed to solve a task now, but may be in five years or ten years time... Much better to introduce algebra as a tool for working out mental arithmetic problems while shopping. That's natural learning, or unschooling. But it requires that the parent learns as much, if not more, or already has the knowledge, to 'lead' the child when such excellent learning opportunities present themselves.

Children who aren't motivated to learn are usually children who aren't capitalising on their learning style - they are using an approach that doesn't gel with them. This may have been happening for so long they appear to be totally turned off from learning. Left alone they will eventually find the confidence to become motivated learners again, but it's frustrating and heartbreaking for us parents to watch our children waffle through endless days of boredom, and for teenagers the risk of depression settling in is very real. We intervene because we lack the confidence or knowledge of the best way to support our youngsters. Working out how they learn best is a constructive step. From there it is simply a matter of presenting information and skill building activities in a way that helps learning occur spontaneously, as it did when they were little.

This never precludes the use of school or text books or curricula written by others - not in a natural learning or unschooling setting or any other. These are valid learning tools. It would be impossible to learn the word of God without reading the Bible, for example. Books, television, film, radio, tapes, mentors, tutors, classes... excellent learning tools. What we need to do, as home educators, is set aside our personal preferences and find the tools that best suit our individual child. If we personally can't work with those particular tools with our child then perhaps we need to find someone that can - the other parent, a relative, close friend, homeschooling tutor, learning club...

I found, especially in the early years when my confidence in my children's ability to learn without intervention was practically non-existent, that working with school books in grammar, spelling and maths suited both me and my children. My youngest struggled the most with this approach and by and large we abandoned books until he had developed the skills to use them through other means. His ability to work with texts was not damaged by his limited experience with them during these formative years: at the age of 14 he worked his way through a maths text book and then began a correspondence course in electronic engineering. I didn't need to remind him to study - he set his own schedule and worked diligently through the texts, often with difficulty as he soon surpassed his father's understanding the subject. The motivation to learn, to keep at it every week, came from within. He's abandoned his course, but not because it was too difficult but because, having tried it, he discovered that isn't a direction he'd like to pursue. His interest in computers led him that far, but, as I already knew, electronics is only a minor interest in his life.

The trust I place in my children to work out, on their own, what they need to learn and which direction to put effort into, is very hard to maintain - my confidence still wavers daily. They are in control of their own learning processes though and they understand a great deal about what motivates them, and when they want something they go after it with passion and enthusiasm and they do a great job and feel satisfied. It's not an easy path - learning is full of conflict and painful moments and my kids experience a lot of stress as they work things out for themselves. I always want to step in and guide them... As I've slowly learned, my way isn't always the best way. And if it's motivation I'm looking for, then that has to come from the child, from his or her love of learning, from his interest, from his need to make meaning and sense from whatever he is doing, right now.

I am not convinced that motivation, or the lack of it, is the result of structure in learning programs. When children's learning needs are matched to the activity motivation is usually high. Reluctance to participate can be caused by many factors - these need to be addressed first. I've included a discussion on these factors in Chapter 4 of my book Getting Started with Homeschooling.

© Beverley Paine

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Deschooling specifically refers to that period of adjustment experienced by children removed from school settings. It also can include the process of deschooling parents; that is, the unlearning of concepts and beliefs about the nature and purpose of education. School based methods of instruction and thinking rarely translate directly into the homeschool, and where they are tried, often parents run into the same kinds of problems faced by teachers in schools! Children and parents need time to adjust to the new arrangement. Often this is best begun with a 'holiday' at home, a time to observe and record what naturally occurs in the child's life, and where additional resources are needed to introduce additional learning activities considered important and essential. It often takes many months, and sometimes even a year, for the process of deschooling to unfold. During this time it is a great idea to seek support from families who display a similar style of homeschooling to yourself.

Other Online Articles About Deschooling
Here are some other articles from around the web that discuss deschooling:

What is Deschooling... by Pam, creator of the Living Joyfully website... "The day "deschooling ends" and "unschooling begins" won't be lit up in bright lights - there's no "magic moment". Life will just continue with the wonderful rhythm you've found, you'll see all the learning that's happening every day, and eventually you'll look back and realize "hey, I think we're unschooling!"

Deschooling For Parents by Sandra Dodd is a humourous and insightful piece about getting rid of our schoolish thoughts. At the bottom there are also more links to deschooling articles.

Deschooling: taking the school out of homeschool by Liza Sabater is a great article in which she looks in detail her family's deschooling process as well as discusses what she discovers along the way.


Disposable Checklists for Unschoolers by Sandra Dodd is a helpful article for those beginning unschoolers who are wondering how they will see progress without schedules to follow and lists to check-off and to whom the advice of "just hang out with your kids" seems far-fetched and somewhat frightening!


Rejecting a Pre-Packaged Life by Sandra Dodd is not about deschooling per se, but is about the paradigm shifts you are likely going through as you choose to start homeschooling. It was one of my first introductions to the idea of "joy" as a meaningful goal - even through our ups and downs the joy is always there and it is so powerful and uplifting - hence the name of my website!


Five Steps to Unschooling by Joyce Fetteroll again is not specifically about deschooling, but is a great article about the transition to unschooling. It details things you can be doing to help you progress through this exciting deschooling phase.

Deschooling by Pattie Donahue-Krueger
Excellent article which originally appeared in F.U.N. News in 1998

Deschooling, by Lee S. King
That leads, also, to a page with lots of Christian unschooling links

Deschooling (author unidentified, but associated with *Kaleidoscapes*)
Emphasis on "giftedness" and has an anti-Nintendo example, but still... if you're going to read lots, throw this one in there too.

Unschooling FAQ, by Amy Bell
"People who have been in a traditional school situation often have to take a different approach to unschooling, especially initially. Traditional schooling can cause the loss of intrinsic motivation and joy of learning. The process of recovering those gifts is usually called "deschooling." It's the process of healing, learning to know oneself, and escaping the expectations and forms of traditional schools..."

© Beverley Paine

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In the West Australian newspaper today, Brendan Nelson, Federal Minister for Education, is quoted as saying, "Bring back the 3Rs" and that "the controversial outcomes based education system was a "form of cancer" that had taken hold of the education establishment and would take "considerable time" to treat."

Miranda Devine, in the Thursday 11, 2005 edition of the Sydney Morning Herald states that last year's HSC Advanced English exam required just a 63 word answer for one 40 minute exam essay question, in order to obtain a borderline pass. She also went on to complain about the selection of "texts" such as Ginger Meggs and other material which included an Alicia Silverstone movie. She also quotes some of Dr Nelson's recent comments.

I've long felt that public education is a monolith which I fear is doomed to fail. From what I've read there doesn't seem to have been a time in history that the 'outcomes' weren't criticised. The more recent 'dumbing down' of the curriculum that has occured over the last three-four decades relects, I believe, the lack of real opportunities for high school graduates. This is a point someone made this morning on the radio when the discussion turned to the 'drinking binge' of young people sweeping across the UK... once upon a time most young people were in apprenticeships of one kind of another, including motherhood and home duties. Young people were confident that life had a purpose and weren't obsessed with self-gratification - the line that marketeers and profit hungry corporations (busy gobbling up small businesses and the family farm for decades) have relentlessly peddled.

Give young people back their dignity! From an early age reassure them that there is meaningful, community building work at the end of childhood. Instead of eroding the cultural and community value of universities, turning them into vocational training colleges, bring back the emphasis on a liberal education that celebrates culture, history, diversity, tolerance and inquisitiveness. Let those that want and need to specialise do so earlier, in technical colleges and apprenticeships, as they once did. Arrange the economy so that employing young people is not a burden on small business. Give incentives to big business to keep their manufacturing base local, rather than setting up off-shore...

We've dumbed the curriculum down to meet the enforced laziness of our youth. Children don't chose to be selfish and lazy - they are encouraged by the apathetic lifestyle our nation has adopted. When all that matters is the economic bottom line, intelligence is usually sacrificed.

© Beverley Paine

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In almost twenty years of homeschooling I never found a balance between all the things we were busy doing and all the things we wanted to do. New projects robbed us of time enjoying projects and activities we previously enjoyed as we threw ourselves into the new learning. Immersion, it's called, and it doesn't leave much time for doing anything else!

I'm still looking for that balance and believe it's a real trap we can easily fall into - trying to do as much as we can because it's all so enticing and exciting. Believe me, if you fall prey to this way of thinking it's almost impossible to find your way out!

What I used to do is go with the flow. Put the history resources where I could see them and be reminded that it's something we're going to get back too, and then plough headlong into the latest 'must do' project. But I think a more saner approach would be to meter out the activities - an hour or so of gardening, half hour reading from our history project, a couple of hours 'making' or 'free time' for the kids, and then focus on the family chores. That just about takes care of a homeschooling day, doesn't it? Then there's reading and playing games together and bookwork, if that's included.

Most of have regular routines that are embedded into our days, even though some of us fail to recognise them. I believed that I wasn't the kind of person that could work with routines until I had a good look at daily life and recognised that not only do I do the same things in the same way at the same time every day but there were definite patterns throughout the week, and even annually! I like the way our family, because we were home together most of the time, wove our individual routines into a kind of cooperative dance, where we managed to almost magically get the maximum output for what seemed to be minimum input. That's the permaculture way.

Once again, it wasn't until I took the time to observe and reflect upon these patterns of behaviour - routines - that I felt reassured we were actually achieving most of our goals. It also gave me confidence to know that the activities we set aside to pursue our latest passionate interests were nearly always returned to... Sometimes it seemed impossible to add anything else to our busy lives, but we always managed, if we were really interested.

On the other hand, gardening is like food preparation - it's a task that needs daily attention. I like adding in things like pets - which are great for permaculture as they create manure and their bedding makes great compost - but mostly because they need daily attention and that gets us outside. Guinea pigs are great incentives to weed, as is a compost 'tea' barrel in which you plonk the weeds with obnoxious seeds, or kikuyu or couch grass, or rose clippings (hate finding those thorns in the compost!) I mostly grow salad greens and broccoli and silver beet - low maintenance, easy to take care of plants that I need to harvest daily. And flowers. Flowers naturally draw me outside...

What I'm trying to say is that we need to build extra incentives into daily chores, to make them pleasant and enjoyable. I used to listen to classical music (loud!) when vacuuming and almost waltz my way around the house. With no carpets in our house now we don't vacuum... It's not the same with a broom for some reason. And I've been known to clean the shower while showering... I leave the bath until I'm ready for a good long soak - the promise of bath crystals, candles and leisurely soak make the task worth while. And I'm about to instigate a stop at the coffee shop, with my notebook for creative jottings, for shopping trips. I reckon we all need a shopping trip at least once a week or fortnight without the family in tow. Or a fishing trip... whatever!

© Beverley Paine

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A recent discussion turned to the issue of responsibility, delegation and accountability in the education of children. One speaker felt that not all parents wanted to, could or should, homeschool their children; to which John Angelico replied: "Ducking it by dumping the job onto someone/thing else doesn't actually absolve us of the responsibility - you can delegate a task and the authority to complete it, but you can't delegate a responsibility. You have to hold the other person/thing accountable for the job you delegated to them."

My experience has shown that it's much easier to accept full responsibility and go it alone than to try and persuade school teachers and principals that what they are offering just isn't working with my child (or the other kids in the class). Millions, no billions of dollars (Euros, pounds, whatever) are spent annually on education in school. It doesn't make sense that the school system of education can't achieve quality education for ALL students. No-one - individual or government - has yet been able to hold the public school system accountable.

Most parents of schooled children I talk to are aghast and deny it when I tell them I think that the success or failure of their child's education is their responsibility. If I'm pestered and feeling fiesty, I like to ask them what they are doing to ensure their child receives the quality education the school system promises. How do they know their children are learning everything they need to know? How does the curriculum provide for quality social interaction? How does the curriculum provide for integration with the local and wider community? What programs are in place to facilitate successful tranmission from school to tertiary education or employment? Do you personally know the school pastor, or are aware of the school's pastoral care policy? What would happen if their child breaks a leg at school? It's amazing how many parents just hand over the care and well-being of their children to total strangers and a system of care they know little about...

My conclusion is that most people really don't care and can't wait for their children to grow up. I guess that's why they call it a 'hurried childhood'.

I am also amazed at how many people are willing to face the constant and frustrating challenge of battling entrenched and hostile attitudes from schools, yet are unwilling to take the homeschooling path. Homeschooling for six months is enough to empower parents and students to tackle the educational system assertively, ensuring better outcomes for their children. As an emergency 'bandaid' to difficult problems, homeschooling has much to offer those parents who will ultimately opt for school. The perception that homeschooling is difficult and that we all need to make a lifelong committment to it undermines it's potential to offer a real alternative to all families. And that's exactly how the educational authorities want it to remain!

© Beverley Paine

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Personal arrogance is a stumbling block I face in my daily relationships with others, and my attitude to my work. I still catch myself thinking that I am at the centre of the universe and that it revolves around me and my ideas, projects, etc. In this I am much like a child. It's knowing which aspects of my inner child to 'grow up' and which to retain that is often for me.

My curiosity and imagination, and ability to empath, I never want to lose. I can imagine myself a child and feel like a child, albeit with an onlooking and experience-mitigating adult consciousness. This aspect of my inner child teaches me a great deal. On other hand my child-like egocentric nature isn't at all good for relating to and with others. I'm demanding, selfish, bossy, dominating - and big enough to get my own way by any means. Being the middle child, with a tantrum-throwing older sister, I chose quiet manipulation as the most effective way to be 'heard' in my family, and made a study of human behaviour. Knowing the 'right' time to approach someone, or 'right' tone to use, to get my own way became quite an art form. It is also serves my humility in much the same way. I learned from an age to manipulate my environment to achieve my goals.

Learning to let others finish speaking before I press my own views took quite a few years to learn. I'm not that accomplished at it now. Too much of a hurry most of the time... Learning to listen, well, that's a skill I'm still working on. I try to approach conversations with a blank mind. If I want something, however, I'm using all the tools in my persuasion toolbox. Trouble is I'm not the all-wise, all-knowing, clever person I sometimes think I am and then I do and say things that make my life very complicated! My task, in this fifth decade of life, is to take four steps backwards and study the wisdom life presents to me, rather than feel in such a rush to *make* things happen the way I think they *should*.

My 'humbleness' and 'acceptance of a imperfect existance' is the tool I use to grow myself up. I am blessed by awareness of self, and of my learning and growing process. It's often a depressing burden, but I wouldn't chose any other way of being.

© Beverley Paine

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This is an article I found lurking in my computer hard-drive, written some time ago...

I am learning to play one of the children's favourite role playing computer games.

Computer games worry me - not that I dislike my children playing them, especially as they have a restricted time limit they happily work to, but because I am frightened of looking like a fool, or 'messing up', of accidentally 'killing' my character. I have seen the children emerge from such games flushed with an adrenalin rush... could I, an old timer, cope?

I have also seen adults become addicted to computer games, even mundane ones like Solitaire.... this I want to avoid!

Well, last week I took the plunge and some interesting things developed.

Roger and Thomas are keen to help me develop my character's attributes, but they chastise me for silly mistakes, like walking into walls (unfamiliar with the mouse controls). Because I am twenty plus years older than them I tolerate their frustrated cries and critical comments, but find the comments still sting, especially when the game hots up and action is needed rapidly and help would be more useful than criticism!

I have found the boys have little tolerance for my learning process. Comments such as:

"How come you don't learn the first time?"
"I've shown you how to do that LOTS of times!"
"You just don't learn!"
"How come you never remember?"

My responses vary from groans, sighs, and frustrated cries of "I give up!"

Thomas refuses to watch me play now. He's frustrated that he can't take over the controls, desperate to demonstrate how the game should be played, rather than put up with my clumsy and repetitive mistakes... I'm not allowed to fumble through, make my own mistakes as I discover the nuances of game play. He knows the easy way and wants me to listen to his tips and
hints and learn all the short cuts. But I'm not so sure it's the best way to learn...

Something about all this sounds dreadfully familiar. And I can't help smiling: Once again my children have taught me a few things about the nature of teaching and the nature of learning.

I've found I like to learn by myself, in my own time, when I'm ready, feel motivated and confident. I want to call the shots. And I want some help available, but only when I call for it. I want someone to keep an eye on me, to wisely share some helpful tips, but without giving me the solutions.

I like to be gently led... I don't want to be rushed. I don't want to be continually reminded just how much of a novice I am. I want my helper to be endlessly patient. I want recognition of when I do well: I want them to be excited about my learning success, just as I am, but not to take the credit for it.

As to teaching, well, I am totally surprised to find this huge innate drive in Thomas to teach.... and to teach in the time honoured way that I have come to hate - the way teachers teach in school... I had to ask myself: Did I teach my children like this; did I railroad their learning sensibilities in this way despite their continual and much maligned resistance. Learning a skill they have already mastered has given me a taste of my own medicine!

My foray into learning how to play a popular computer game taught me that the combination of child as teacher and Beverley as learner is just as frustrating as the combination of child as learner and Beverley as teacher!

We need to move beyond this uncomfortable method of instruction and find solutions that satisfy the both our needs. I'm sure it can be done; just wish I'd worked this out sooner!

Had someone told me I would learn so much about the nature of learning and teaching from playing a computer game I wouldn't have believed them. Once again one of my interests has turned into an exploration about the nature of learning, and a topic for homeschooling discussion!

© Beverley Paine

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I like to think that we are all promoting home education as a viable alternative to school-based education by simply DOING it with our children. A friend of mine once said that it is our children, now and when they are grown, that convince others of the effectiveness of home education, and he's right. Our enthusiasm to learn and adapt to our children's changing educational needs, our willingness to research alternative methods, and find different resources that may suit our children better - these are the hallmarks of professional educators. We're doing a great job, albeit quietly and without much fuss or comment.

Some of us find the time, usually prompted by immediate need, to go beyond simply homeschooling our children, and advertise what we're doing to others in the community. I did this because I needed to find other homeschoolers so we didn't feel so lonely: we wanted to belong to a group of like-minded people who could offer support and reassurance. An ad in the paper, a newsletter, a website... picnics, activities, workshops, seminars, camps... Along the way, as I strove to meet the immediate homeschooling needs of our family we publicised homeschooling quite a bit. But it wasn't my main aim.

I reckon we're all doing a fabulous job of promoting homeschooling. We can always do better, or more, that's for sure, but when I look back on twenty years of involvement in home education and see how far we've come - homeschooling is now an accepted - if not yet embraced - idea in society. That's cool. That's something to celebrate.

The Prime Minister, John Howard, on the radio this morning (AM 891), was pushing the opinion that extreme viewpoints should not be allowed to exist in this country, and that such radical minorities need to be assimilated into the majority viewpoint. His views are echoed across the country - I hear them everyday when I turn on the radio, or the tv, or go to the local pub or supermarket. As homeschoolers we, too, represent a radical, what could be seen as extremist point of view. We are a minority that disagrees with the majority... Our views on education undermine the state-sanctioned method of education for children. We could easily be targetted in a vicious, no-holds barred campaign to muddy the waters in favour of school-based education.
Some fear that a concerted and enthusiastic campaign to draw attention to the wonderful - and successful - world of home education could draw undesirable attention and result in increased and quite possibly draconian regulation. It's my experience that the 'majority' fear first and think second. I've watched and learned how effective a slow, grass roots movement can change the opinions and actions of the majority. Our individual successes - our homeschooled graduates - mount an incredibly effective and persuasive case for home education. They wipe out the fear factor, because they aren't weirdos or no-hopers - they're more often than not ordinary, well-educated, articulate young men and women. And they are increasing in number rapidly!
If people feel really strongly about publicising home education than I reckon the best approach is to start a local homeschooling support group or activity group and publicise that. Have regular meetings in community spaces - a book club that meets at the community library, sports days at the local park, host art classes for everyone during the school holidays...

To promote home education through the media - via advertising - takes a bucket load of money. If the HEA, for example, had that kind of cash and embarked on a campaign then they'd be shut down fast - by the government, by outraged parents and friends societies (who'd feel really threatened), by schools who fear a mass exodus, by teachers unions and by teachers. The individuals who work on a voluntary basis in the HEA would be torn apart in the media frenzy that would result. Their lives would be examined - and paraded in full public view. You'd need to be a saint to survive a prolonged - and hostile - expose on Today Tonight. I've seen tv interviews where the interviewer seeks to destroy the character of the parents because they dared to use a learning program not accepted by mainstream education. Home ed, as a movement, is not ready for that kind of promotion.
Education Choices is our first national commercial attempt at getting a regular magazine into newsagents across Australia. Otherways and Learning Matters are two quality magazines produced by homeschooling organisations. These magazines need support and encouragement and the only way to do that is to subscribe - to all three if you can. Then lend your magazines or give them away. Or donate a subscription to your local library. Leave them in laundromats and bus shelters. Whatever. Ask for HEA to send you some leaflets. Photocopy them and leave them in appropriate places. There is a great deal that can be done to promote homeschooling without needing to spend a lot of money.

Be interviewed by a local newspaper. Papers in the Adelaide metro area runs at least one homeschooling story each year. A mother contacted me 12 months after she had read an article about our homeschooling adventures... This kind of low key promotion really does work, and what's better, it saves kids who are having a rough time at school.

© Beverley Paine

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It was pointed out to me today that a problem with promoting something like homsechooling is that it is then open to inaccurate promotion. Some people, burned by experiences of 'untrue' homeschoolng stories, where the writer, safe "behind the comfort of the computer screen with no one to see how their life really happens, can write whatever they like, including things that are not true or accurate representations of their homeschooling life. The adage that we need to take what we read or view with "a large helping of salt" is always wise advice, and it's true that"pretty and perfect pictures of home ed" portrayed in homeschooling magazines and newsletters may lead "an inexperienced person to believe something that may well not be true, and that they therefore cannot live up to".

I began writing to share my homeschooling experiences with other like-minded parents in 1989. It's never been my intention to misrepresent the joys, successes, trials and tribulations of homeschooling. I often felt the victim of bright and glossy stories of child progidies and wonderfully warm and fuzzy tales of homeschooling family life... One day it occured to me that in sharing my joy at my children's learning experiences I was doing exactly what those authors of articles I read in Growing Without Schooling had done. My joyful tales no doubt undermined others' confidence, but I know they also inspired, because of the feedback I received. Encouraged, I continued to write for a homeschooling audience.

Writing is an inaccurate art form. In that it is no different from any other art form. The adult viewer or reader should be aware that what they are seeing or reading is a representation of life - nothing retold can be an accurate portrayal. Once written or captured on film what is read or viewed is simply an interpretation.
I am pleased that the publications that I have written for - including those I mentioned in my post yesterday - also include portrayals that demonstrate the not-so-rosy side of homeschooling life. Topics I've written on, and read articles and letters by others, include how to cope with "burn out", homeschooling and depression, worrying about unmotivated learners, coping with educating children at home with support, coping with prejudice and discrimination, making ends meet when money or illness becomes a problem. I may be naive and I have a tendency to trust, but I've been impressed by the honesty and desire to share personal experiences. Writing isn't something that anyone feels comfortable doing and not everyone feels okay about revealing their personal lives to total strangers, words that can now travel around the world and turn up anywhere. It takes guts to send those words out to that unknown audience. One only has to look at the membership of lists like this to see that the bulk of members are readers, not writers...

Twenty years ago few people felt comfortable writing on the disadvantages of homeschooling, except in guarded terms and then we stuck to the issues like the effects on home life caused by the lack of that second income. A decade ago I noticed a trend to begin to write about our fears more, and how we were managing and coping. I find that when I talk about my 'mistakes' at seminars people come up to me afterwards and share their relief at finding that they're normal and that mucking up and not getting it right or perfect is part of the learning process and that its okay.

I don't feel the need to promote the happy rosy picture of homeschooling life and never have. I began my 'crusade' to find like-minded people I can share the good and the bad times of homeschooling with, so that I may be reassured I'm not a freak and that I'm not damaging my children by being different from my school-going neighbours. I know and have met and count among my friends many, many homeschooling writers who are completely genuine and give their time, often during the small hours of the morning or when the children are tucked in bed at night, to share their experiences so that we may all feel part of a community, supporting each other.

I write guidebooks for homeschoolers - not for money because writing simply doesn't pay for 95% of writers - because it's less time consuming that spending the hours on the phone that I used to... I became tired of sore throats and my children resented the time the phone took away from being with them. I wrote Getting Started with Homeschooling because telling people how we got exemption several times a week - information that was directly asked for - became tedious and disrupting. It's not the definitive guide to homeschooling but I'm proud of it. It tells it exactly as it was - sums up ten years of my homeschooling life, together with Learning in the Absence of Education. The responses I have had to both books convinces me that us homeschooling writers have an audience that appreciates our efforts - an audience that realises that homeschooling isn't the answer to all their parenting and educating problems, and that life is, foremost, a personal learning journey.

We're all trying to do the best we can for our children. I find that homeschooling authors are motivated to share - share what works and doesn't work for them. If we're imperfect in our craft, then that's because we're human. If we err occasionally, then that's because we're human. It's a learning journey.

It is true there are writers who deliberately set out to 'sell' to their audience, be it an idea or lifestyle or product. Remember, it's not a captive audience - the reader or viewer can always stop reading or watching. I've heard stories about homeschooling writers who don't live what they write. But in getting hung up on the honesty of the content and questioning the integrity of the writer might I be missing the essential message? Were all the parables and stories told by Jesus, or the myths, legends and fables told by people throughout history to their children 'true' accounts of real happenings? Did they need to be? I don't believe so. All stories are told from a point of view and that view is always subjective. Truth is something we experience for ourselves. We can pick the truth we need from what we read and view. That approach has always led to learning experiences for me.

© Beverley Paine

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I was asked recently how can can make our children story tellers, or encourage them to write stories, especially when they aren't interesting in writing much at all?

Recognise where you children already tell stories. April scripted all of the play in her early years with her brothers. She'd say exactly what was going to happen in the game, including dialogue. She was the author and director of play! Her brothers went along with it for years. I would listen to Roger telling himself a story as he drew a picture. Or if he was drawing I'd ask what was happening in the picture. I think how we word our questions is crucial to encouraging children to tell their stories and to build their vocabulary. Some children tell stories as they go for walks. Others will talk about factual information only. To them the world is an exciting wonderful place and they don't need fiction to inspire them. For these children we need only talk to them and listen and feed them interesting facts and information, always widening their world. We can also lead them into imagination by asking 'what if' type questions - 'what if the space shuttle couldn't land in the USA and had to land near Adelaide (or wherever you live)? What would it be like to Andy Thomas? What do you reckon you'd do when you got home from a space trip?'

Often I found it much easier, and had a better response, if I didn't ask the child, but began musing aloud: "If I was Andy, up there in the space shuttle, I'd ask them to land the shuttle in Adelaide - at Edinburgh airforce base. Then I could visit my family and let my friends look around the shuttle. That'd be cool.' Naturally, whatever I talked about would have to be topical and of interest to the child. Even now I imagine myself in rally cars, or designing computer games, whatever. The ability to imagine being somewhere else, or someone different, helps to build empathy and understanding.

Anything can turn into an imaginative exploration. See a cockroach scuttling under the cupboard. I immediately recall a great movie about a guy called Joe who moved into an apartment full of talking, singing cockroaches. They help him defeat the developers and win over a girl. The cockroach is now a character in my mind - what story can I tell about him? What story can we weave about him? Did you know that a cockroach can lay millions of eggs? Imagine having that many children? How to feed them all! Maybe we're not telling *stories*, but we're talking, and it's full of the structures you'll find in any work of fiction.

Then there are the 'what if you found a million dollars' story starters, when you're sitting on the swing in the park (I always sat on the swing and took a turn too - so long as there wasn't a sign that said older people were prohibited). Or 'what if leprechauns existed, what if they were really martians?' Often that would be enough to get the kids rambling for hours.

Some children are listeners though. They won't add much to the conversation even when you coax a few words from them. Perhaps they don't think in words, but in pictures. Then I'd settle for their drawings and make sure they always had materials at hand to express their creativity and imagination through art or sculpture, or making, tinkering, modifying or inventing things. We need to quiet achievers. What I would do then is read to them every day. Teach them how to write the necessary things that we all need to do - how to write a resume, different purpose letters, lists, fill out forms, etc. Expose them to reports and charts, articles, essays, and as many forms of writing for different purposes and audiences as you can. When they finally have to write something - say an article - in their teens years, teach them then - using whatever resources you can find (I like university guides to how to write essays, reports, etc). I've found that non-writers (as in people who won't pursue writing in some form as a career) pick up skills easily and quickly when they have a real reason to do so in their adolescence.

The other approach - and one I haven't tried personally - is the Charlotte Mason method of narration. Although more structured than what I did with my children it's similar in that it doesn't push children into writing for the sake of writing for long periods each day. Narration starts gently with only a few minutes each day of retelling (and who doesn't retell the stories in the movies or favourite tv dramas?), and gradually builds up to a complete list of writing and reading skills by the end of schooling. Try a websearch for Charlotte Mason and Narration and you'll turn up a lot of inspiring and encouraging information. We'll be incorporating a lot of the ideas and methods into our natural learning curriculum.

In the meantime, you'll find lots of ideas in my Practical Homeschooling Booklet Series on reading and writing.

© Beverley Paine

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I always say 'drive carefully' or 'be safe' as my now young adult children drive off, and then one day it occured to me that I was kind of making a statement by my consistent insistent behaviour (exhorting my young people to 'do' something I felt to be valuable) that they weren't naturally capable of doing this without a reminder from me! I looked into my need to say these words and realised that I believed that I was warding off potential disaster - indulging in a bit of superstition. I had to smile. I still smile. And I still say 'drive carefully' or 'be safe'.

 

I personally like the 'be safe' statement better. My children react better to that one. I've also talked to them about why I say it - talked about my fears, my insecurities, the superstition (touch wood) aspect of saying it aloud. They didn't like the thought that I wasn't 100% confident in their driving ability, and I hedged by saying that most accidents are caused by the 'other' guy on the road. The more experienced they get with driving the more they understand that most accidents are really caused by inattentiveness and overconfidence (in ones's driving ability and in the car's ability to perform perfectly in all situations, or to simply hang together).

Whenever I remember I let my kids now why I say or do the things I do. Most of the time most of us simply assume that we know why our family members or friends say and do things, and sometimes this is accurate but sometimes it's not. I find that being clear about motive diffuses a lot of relationship issues based on miscommunication.

© Beverley Paine

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Someone asked: "What you do when your child exceeds your capabilities in a subject?
This was particularly about maths - what if your maths skills are poor, how do you teach a mathematically bright child?"

I'm not very knowledgeable in many areas and my knowledge of the areas I'm passionate about is fairly average. I tackle most things with enthusiasm though, making sure I assemble the resources I need to find out or learn to do something new. That's one of the reasons I buy books, because they are full of information and instructions. There are books, written in plain language and with great diagrams, to tackle just about anything now. And there's always the internet, though I still prefer books. As an unschooler and natural learner I know that books are fantastic guides to just about everything - even text books for school or university. I know I can get to any level of expertise using books as the basis for my learning. At some stage though I may need to call on someone who is more knowledgeable or skilful and that's when I look for a tutor.

There is nothing in homeschooling land that says that mum or dad should be the only tutors! Look around in your family, group of friends, neighbourhood, and community for people who can tutor. My friend, a single mum, found a local dad who loved fixing up old cars. Her son was keen on learning to drive and wanted to be able to repair whatever car he bought himself. Sue knew nothing about car maintenance. She talked to the guy down the road who was only too happy to get to know her son and have him hang around on the weekend and learn about mechanics. Another friend realised that not only did she have no clue about maths beyond what she needed in her daily life, she didn't want to learn either, so from early in their homeschooling life she used a maths tutor, in much the same way as a music tutor, for her children. The woman showed her daughter how to the maths and set 'homework' assignments.

The other way that homeschooling parents tackle this issue is to start learning clubs. Ann Lahrson Fisher writes about this in her excellent book Fundamentals of Homeschooling, available from my Always Learning Books website. We've been involved in group learning for circus skills, art, science, and craft. We've also accessed art and music tutors.

Our experiment with school was based on my fear that my lack of skills and knowledge meant my children were missing out, but as I discovered, schools don't always cover those areas, especially to the depth that our children might want and need. We tried school as I wanted my children to have access to physical education, movement, drama, dance, art and craft, and music. The first year at school there were teachers who specialised in these areas. For the next five years the school community emphasised technological (read computers!) skills and suddenly the school had little focus and few resources for the Arts. In a neighbouring primary school they had an award winning marine biology focus because it was a hobby and passion of one of the teachers: when he was transferred all that excellence went with him. It's easier to find and access these kinds of people in the community outside of school, than to hope and rely on something happening in the school environment.

© Beverley Paine

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Homeschooling always feels like a disaster. Well, not always. Some days shine, but in my experience there aren't that many of these. I found that my perception, usually led by my mood, and I'm naturally depressive, coloured my experience of homeschooling. What was actually happening was a lot better than I thought it looked. The only way I know this is that I recorded, off and on, in a fairly meticulously way for about a decade (most of my books and writing are based on these records). What I wrote in Learning in the Absense of Education and Learning Without School was what happened. Reading it always gives me a buzz.

Accept that homeschooling isn't idyllic. It's not the answer to everything in education or parenting. It's hard. Really hard. And the bit that sucks the most (for me anyway) is the way it isolates us as parents. I found the fact that society doesn't reward or recognise parenting (having a 'nice' house gets more attention than having 'nice' kids) really depressing. I was doing such a good job with teaching and parenting my kids but no one cared. They'd like and love me more if I were working and my kids were in child-care. I always felt the pressure to 'be' someone other than a mum.
We're pioneers and that means that what we're doing is hard work. We're forging a way through wilderness - few parents actually want to spend time with their children and we're made to feel weird, or worse, abusive to our kids. Sure, we have bad days, weeks and months. It can be hard to continually bolster one's faith in what one is doing when everyone else is doing something different! I liken my journey to that of a pioneer settler. Twenty years of hard work with little to show for it, apart from the odd jar of prize jam at the show, the sudden downpour after a long drought, while it happens, but now I sit back on my well built productive and pleasing farm and know that I'm going to reap the benefits until the day I die. (Life isn't that predictable, but by now -thanks to the hard work of pioneering - I am totally accepting of that).
Social children - especially extroverts who are stage managers and directors - do need time to play with other children, preferably children of all ages. This can be difficult to organise and it means you will have to dedicate a fair bit of time to organising it. No more than a mum with a virtuoso violin player or a dirt bike genius would have to do to arrange opportunities for their child to develop the skills they want and need to... The easiest way to find friends for your child is to organise learning clubs or homeschooling playgroups. Start them or join them. Get out as much as you can. You'll burn out and hopefully your enthusiastic youngster will start begging for some quiet time at home (usually displayed as irritability, crankiness, non-cooperative behaviour at home, crabby with his siblings, ill-health, hyperactivity, inabilty to go to sleep/bed at a reasonable hour at night, teary, etc - sometimes though, he may ask to stay home instead of going out).
We also need to play with our children. Alfie Kohn, in his book Unconditional Parenting, and Lawrence Cohen in his book Playful Parenting (both in my Always Learning Books catalogue now) stress the importance of being play partners for our children. I believe that our success as homeschooling parents was because we took time most days to actually play with the children. When my children played dolls or cars or LEGO I played with them. It was hard, very hard, and most of the time I simply constructed props or sorted the bricks, but every few minutes I was able to get involved in the 'drama' and play. Parents who can do this are instant hits with children of all ages.
We began homeschooling with a list of goals - long term and short term. I would have been lost without a learning program, even as a natural learning or unschooling family. My learning programs and record keeping - described in detail in my book Getting Started with Homeschooling Practical Considerations - were the backbone of our homeschooling experience. They were my main support structures at a time when few people homeschooled and all my regular friends felt threatened by our educational and parenting choice... Writing things down makes them concrete, easy to keep in mind and aim for. It's not a forever task, and it isn't to please someone else or to get approval to homeschool from the authorities. I found it an essential element of teaching my children at home. Louise Wilton's naturally learning learning program and review - available in booklet form from $4 from Always Learning Books - demonstrate the power of recording to instil confidence, not only as you go, but when looking back on the last year.

I'm an overachiever and do everything to the nth degree - usually go overboard, and it wasn't long that I found myself overwhelmed and exhausted. Being chronically and constantly unwell with allergies and depression didn't help. After twenty years I still haven't learned to slow down and keep life in balance. I'm enthusiastic, like a puppy - there's no stopping me. Until I 'crash' and then I don't do anything for days... I think my children were grateful for those quiet times, even though dealing and coping with a depressed mum wasn't a lot fun. All this lead me to thinking about and researching strategies for relieving stress and I wrote these down too. I began to understand the importance of not over-socialising, of getting to bed at a reasonable hour, of eating well, especially fresh and raw food, of getting adequate exercise and resting each day (not the same as sleep). I discovered the importance of having an existence separate from being a mum - having a hobby that satisfies some deep need to be creative within me. And honouring that need. I discovered that my husband is my best friend, not my kids and that I need to play with him just as often I do the kids. And that it's essential to have at least two or three good friend I can confide in, and to share stories with, whenever I needed. It took energy to set life up in such a way that my needs would be met, most of the time. I'm a learner - these lessons will take me a lifetime to perfect!
Talking to sympathetic and understanding friends, reading books by sympathetic and understanding authors, and writing in my journal were the tactics I used to uplift my spirits and rebuilt my enthusiasm when I felt negative. Homeschooling newsletters were my life line way back then, which is one of the reasons I'm such an active homeschooling author, writing and producing the Homeschool Australia website, newsletter and yahoo groups (see below). I know how essential it was for me to receive information from more experienced homeschoolers on those days when everything was going wrong... The best books and articles didn't preach at me, they shared their stories - their ups and downs, the things that worked and the things that didn't. And I learned that there are no right or wrong ways to homeschool, and that eventually everything seems to work, in it's own way. It's all a learing journey and mistakes are just opportunities to learn from.

I found that by giving up unrealistic goals of myself and my children, and spending the time I would have 'educating' them, playing with them, solved most of my problems with coping with a baby and a busy four year old while trying to teach my six year old. That's all our children want - is for us to be involved in their lives and to let them take an active role in ours. We played and did chores together. It took longer to get things done, that's for sure, and I learned that having a 'House and Garden' home wasn't what I really wanted. I'm not a lover of housework so it was easy to cover the basics and feel okay. Windows were washed twice a year, and became family fun, though it's still a chore. I just had to pick a day the children were more willing to sacrifice a couple of hours...
We've always lived in small country towns and we've always found this challenging. At first we didn't want to be social in the ways folk in the town were social - playing sport on the weekend, going to the pub on Friday and Saturday night, and Church on Sunday. We got involved with community service groups but as owner builders didn't have a lot of time and didn't persist. Our eldest, April, now a young adult, once wrote that it's essential to get involved in country town life as a homeschooling family. Don't wait for homeschooling community to grow around your family - get out and become involved in the community you live in. This is true socialisation. Not school. Not homeschool. But becoming an active part of a vibrant community. Sure, it takes time and we need to compromise and be less judgemental, but it's worth it. We didn't do this and it made homeschooling much harder. I know families that did and homeschooling was a lot more fun and easier and the parents had less insecurities. An added bonus is that the community gets to see that homeschooling is a viable and successful alternative to school. And your kids are more likely to find part time jobs and work experience in their teen years.

© Beverley Paine

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I was asked for tips on how to balance sitting down with an older child while toddlers and younger children yell "What do we do now mummmy?", especially when the younger children want to do 'book learning' too.

First of all you need to make sure you're doing something to balance *your* day. I say all this knowing that I didn't do this and paid the price. Ultimately my depression gave me time - robbed it from me and my children, but the lesson was that if you don't balance *your* day/life you will become unwell.

Do you practice meditation? Have a Daily Devotional time that is for you alone? Do you do yoga or tai chi, or work out doing an exercise routine that gets you huffing and puffing? Do you go for a walk or run each day? You can do this with the kids, but if you can manage it, getting up early for a brisk fifteen minute jog or walk by yourself will help to balance that scattered feeling.

I began homeschooling when my eldest had just turned six and my youngest five weeks old! I wrote up 'lessons' in April's workbook the night before and sat at our big table with Roger, then four years old, beside me with a workbook of his own, and the baby on my lap, often suckling. I always had a variety of baby toys within reach, plus something for me to do if April and Roger didn't need my attention. I get bored quickly and am always looking for something to read and write. April would sit opposite me and I would read her lessons (upside down - a skill she also had I quickly realised) and explain them and she'd be happy to work through them without much attention. Roger was different. He couldn't read (it took another four years before he was an independent reader) and I not only had to read by often scribe. Our table lessons would only last an hour at the most and then we'd be doing a project or simply playing.

I spent a LOT of time playing with the children. This seemed to satisfy their need for time with me, and left me huge blocks of time where I could do what I needed or wanted within sight and hearing of them, without being involved in their activity. I developed a habit of instantly interrupting what I was doing to attend to requests and found that over time they became less demanding and more independent. Often people will tell you that doing this will 'spoil' the child, but I found the opposite actually happens. Plus, taking care of their needs immediately took less time and got them out of my hair quicker!

Something I've discovered as I've got older is how frustrating it is to have a conversation with such an involved, hands-on parent! While I automatically break in my conversation to let the mother or father attend to the child's needs, or answer and help the child myself, it's dreadfully disrupting to a good conversation! I won't always do what the child wants - that's another issue. Listening to them, in the moment, and negotiating satisfactory solutions with them is important. Over time it builds respectful relationships and that's what we all want with, and for, our children.

The other solution coping with demanding toddlers while you are busy helping an older child is to have plenty of activities and distractions prepared in advance. For me, this was more about establishing a vibrant and encouraging learning environment. I modelled our home on the local kindergarten (preschool) which April and Roger had attended from birth, first through playgroup and then kindy. We had open shelves with a few selected items on each and boxes of toys and dress ups. Cluttered environments discourage learning, so keep it tidy and simple and rotate the toys and puzzles, in the same way kindy teachers do, to keep that novelty aspect. I'd hunt down interesting dress-ups in op-shops and add fresh items and remove and store others. You don't need to pay a fortune for play props. The junk box, and a well stocked craft table with lots of sticky tape, masking tape and glue, are essential.

Such a well-stocked, inviting and encouraging learning environment is useless if the children can access the items and activities within it without your help. The shelves need to be low. Materials need to be child-friendly and safe. The children need spaces to make mess, lay out a train track, or a soft corner to curl up comfortably with a book or favourite toy. You need to be comfortable within this space too.

Anticipating your toddlers’ needs is the key to solving this issue - keeping one step ahead of them. You may need to be firm though - it doesn't hurt to gently let them know that you are busy right now and that you will help them when you are finished your task. Direct them to help themselves until then. Juggling the attention you give to each child is difficult. Consistently making the toddlers wait sometimes and making the older child wait sometimes, will help them learn patience, with the reassurance that you care for them all. It doesn't hurt to point this out either, sometimes: "This is ...'s time now, I will help you/play with you when we are finished."

It's not easy, but if you can do take care of yourself and build a calm time that nurtures your soul each day, you should feel less stressed by this difficult aspect of parenting.

© Beverley Paine

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Writing a learning program and recording throughout the first year isn't as daunting as it first looks. I think the problem we all face is this overriding fear that the education department will say 'no' to our application for exemption from attending school, but this rarely happens. And if they say 'no', we say 'why not' and they tell us and we say 'okay, we can fix that, how about now?' and they say 'okay'. :-) It isn't always this easy, neither does it always get this hard - each family has a different experience and many of us find the process a lot less intimidating than we thought it would be.

Many families, especially those with children younger than the compulsory school age of 6, simply start educating their children in whatever way they want - usually using a school-at-home approach with a few work books in spelling, grammar and maths with a lot of hands-on art, craft and science activities, plus continuing learning activities as usual about growing bodies, hygiene, cooperative behaviours, getting out and about in the community... learning about other people, places and things (culture!).

Record what you do in a diary such as my Natural Learning Diary, which includes play and hobby activities as well as structured learning. Just write down what the children do in the boxes, or create your own diary, and then underline or highlight the activities/learning in the different 'subject' areas - maths, science, health, language, etc.

To write a learning plan, simply rewrite what you did under the subject headings... Louise Wilton's two homeschooling planning and recording booklets (available from www.alwayslearningbooks for $4) set this out beautifully as an example of the type of homeschooling learning program that mostly just happens, without a huge amount of worry or planning.

If you do this before your child turns six you will already have a 'report' or 'review' to show the education department officer who comes to interview you during the application process. All you need to do then is to project what you'd like your child to learn or cover in the next 6-12 months. You will have specific goals - eg: learn to write simple sentences, count to 100, build a frog pond (with help), answer the phone appropriately, etc, which may or may not eventuate, but seem sensible and suitable goals for your child over the year ahead. Write these down under the subject headings, if you wish, or just write a long list! This is your learning plan... and most of us find it grows naturally from our diaries and different methods of recording.

I used the curriculum subjects (and their subcategories, eg history, biology, weather, conservation, etc) as very useful in helping me think of goals for each of my children. Then I would add events and activities I knew would happen - eg holiday at Sovereign Hill and the historic goldmining area of Victory (history, geology, occupations); New Year's Eve Pageant participation (The Arts - choreography, costumes, performance); Model Solar Car Challenge (Technology, Science, Health (social skills)). April's first year of homeschooling was the year Thomas was born, so that covered a lot of learning in Health!! As did keeping and breeding guinea pigs a couple of years later...

You can write a page or two for your forward plan, or you can write a dozen. I found that the more I put down on paper about what we were actually doing, based on haphazard but detailed recording, the more confident I felt and the quicker I could relax about the whole planning and recording process.

Recording helped me feel that I was actually teaching my children. It also gave my children confidence, from time to time, that they were actually being educated. This helped them from feeling too different from other children. They weren't just playing at home and doing 'stuff' with mum - it was a 'proper' education. We even did report cards every other year or so!

Recording need only take a few minutes each day. It can be as simple as a checklist (using the lists in the back of my book Getting Started with Homeschooling) or as detailed as an anecdotal record of what each did and said and how they are learning each day. It's up to you. The education department doesn't enforce any particular style of recording and they are more interested in how you know your child is progressing - showing that through conversation at the interview is more powerful than what you've written down, though your records and your learning plan will jog your memory and help you feel more confident at the time.

A learning plan is simply that - a plan. It's not set in concrete and it doesn't matter if you do something entirely different. As you probably will :-)

© Beverley Paine

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I wish I had the guts to let go of the need to keep everything so pristine perfect when I was younger and began enjoying a lot of my precious stored stuff so much earlier...

I remember one set of special glasses etched with roses that I kept for 20 years under wraps and finally decided to use when I figured the kids were old enough not to break them. It wasn't the kids I should have worried about but the stupidity of making glasses so thin in the first place! I think all six were broken while being dried... too much pressure with the tea towel!

The day I began to feel liberated from the need to be over-protective towards objects was when I broke a lovely piece of jewellery I had bought a year before. A cut quartz crystal with golden rutile crystals crisscrossing the prism, it reminded me of my daughter's hair and of my childhood excursions looking for similar rocks with my family. I dropped it on the bathroom tiles and smashed a corner of the prism. "Oh well" I said, totally suprised that I didn't feel unbelievably guilty and ashamed at my clumsiness, as I was accustomed to feeling... I picked it up, had a little dance around the room as I didn't feel wretched and realised I'd turned a corner in life - at last!

It's taken me another dozen years to feel comfortable with damaging, breaking, scratching, using, wearing and tearing the rest of my possessions!

Life is too short not to celebrate by having those things that bring us joy, if even for a moment, every day.

Natalie commented on the joy of bringing out of storage much loved items - like photographs or gifts - and how all too often when left in constant view the magic of these items disappears into the background and eventually we fail to notice them. Storing can bring back that special feeling we first experienced with the item. This is true, too. From a homeschooling perspective I found it extremely useful to 'rotate' toys, books and learning materials, even art and craft materials. When the stored items are brought out on display they usually sparked a great deal of creativity and imaginative play. There is something powerful about 'novelty'; that awakening of the senses to experience with freshness old treasures!

© Beverley Paine

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It is really sad when, as homeschoolers, we begin to lack confidence and look for solutions that we know to be less than satisfactory because we have to 'prove' to others that what we are doing is okay and will work out just fine, thank you very much! It is extremely frustrating to have to reassure professionals, especially health care professionals who can wield disproportionate power in our lives.

There are many natural learners and unschoolers who have no need to record to bolster their confidence that not doing 'school at home' will prove to be a successful education pathway for their children. I wasn't one of them. Recording and translating into school subject language convinced me, better than anything else, that when my children resisted school methods of instruction and didn't do the work or activities I'd set them, that what they chose to do instead was still learning and much the same thing at about the same stage of development as their schooled peers. I needed to record the learning process at home. My confidence as a natural learner comes from that experience.

It takes a while to get the hang of translating everyday life into educational jargon, and lots of people will 'knock' you for doing it, saying things like 'you shouldn't have to do that' (and that's true, but in your particular situation you find it helpful and necessary); 'that's too much work' (which it isn't, not when you consider the purpose - to convince yourself, your husband, family, your daughter's doctors and health care workers - recording is more effective at doing this than endless repeated debates); or comments such as 'it takes too long', 'couldn't be bothered pandering to the education authorities, they have no rights to dictate to me' etc. When you read or hear these comments remember that whatever works for others isn't necessarily going to work for you. You need to assess your own particular situation at this point in time and ask 'what are MY family needs? What do I need to do in order to feel confident homeschooling my daughter? What do I need to do (or get) to feel confident and assertive to insist that my daughter obtains the care she needs while at school?

Always bring it back to the centre. You, your family. What is it you all need? Forget what others do. Work from YOUR centre.

Most people forget that families with physically or intellectually disabled children often already have a history with the education department. This makes it harder for these families to negotiate the freedom to make choices that others take for granted. When a child has a disability the education authorities seem to apply super glue to their hold - it's really hard to get our children back! Part of the reason is a misguided, uninformed but usually sincere and genuine concern for our disabled children's welfare; but we can't discount the fact that schools receive extra funding and staff for those children, which are often utilised for purposes other than the care of that particular child...

In the early days of homeschooling and recording what our children are doing and learning it's easy to try too hard to translate daily life into educational jargon. If we put too much emphasis on that aspect of recording the whole thing can become a chore or overwhelm us. Try this: simply record, in your own words, as much as you can about what your child is doing, how she is doing it, what she is discovering, new skills and knowledge she is acquiring. Instead of trying to write up something for each subject each day, pick one thing that stands out in each day and write half a page or more about that particular activity.

It could be a conversation you had about friendship. It could be relating how your daughter made her lunch. When you write up the activity, consider using the following framework and information as a guide [taken from my Home Education Reports and from Chapter 7, Getting Started with Homeschooling, both available from Always Learning Books], to 'train' you to think like an educator or teacher would:

[print these out and use as guide when you are writing. Think of ways your child demonstrates these goals: eg if when baking a cake, she says she'd like to ice it and then using different coloured food dyes, makes patterns, declaring the finished image to be a field of flowers - this shows the first thinking skill on the list. During the activity she may have asked for directions from you, and then followed them, told you what she was doing and why, or used cooking-related vocabularly confidently for the first time. She may have volunteered, without a reminder, to wash her hands first, or clean up afterwards. Record that - especially that this is a 'first', or even that 'at long last, she is doing this automatically, without me nagging...' ]

Thinking [includes day dreaming, imagination, planning, reflecting]
- Demonstrates creative, intuitive and imaginative thinking skills.
- Poses and tests hypotheses and assumptions logically.
- Confidently questions, explores and investigates.

Communication [verbal and non-verbal, speaking, listening, reading, writing, performing (singing, dancing, moving, acting)]
- Participates in discussions.
- Is an effective oral communicator.
- Follows verbal instructions and directions.
- Listens attentively and courteously.
- Reads and comprehends subject related literature.
- Uses appropriate writing forms and conventions.
- Edits written work.
- Communicates clearly in writing.
- Writes legibly and fluently.
- Use audience appropriate communication strategies.

Information
- Collects, analyses and organises information.
- Confidently accesses a variety of information sources.
- Working in Teams Interacts effectively with others.
- Demonstrates leadership skills.
- Works as an effective team member.

Organisation [functional tidiness? - mental and physcial realms]
- Is prepared and organised for learning activities.
- Maintains study materials in good order.
- Begins work promptly.
- Negotiate learning tasks and activities.
- Reviews own performance.

Problem Solving [asking questions and working out how to answer them]
- Shows evidence of critical thinking.
- Is creative in achieving outcomes.
- Attitude Maintains a positive and enthusiastic approach to studies.
- Demonstrates responsibility for own learning.
- Perserveres.
- Works productively and sensibly.

Cooperation
- Works effectively with others.
- Listens attentively and responds appropriately.

Time Management
- Is able to set priorities.
- Cooperatively negotiates timetable for learning tasks and activities.
- Completes tasks on time.

Commitment
- Displays initiative.
- Demonstrates interest and desire to learn.

Independent Work
- Develop independent study habits.
- Able to work without supervision.

Quality of Work
- Produces work of appropriate and consistent quality.
- Demonstrates care in preparation and presentation of work.

Activity/Subject Objectives Met
- Understands skills and concepts of the activity/course.

In addition ask your daughter what she thought and felt about what she did; ask about specific aspects of the activity, how she managed this or that, or what she thought about a particular part, or the materials used; whether she could have done things differently or used different materials; did she need help or was the help she received adequate, too much, the wrong sort of help? Was she happy with how long it took, did she need more time? Would she like to do it again? Why? And what did she think she learned, and was that what she expected to learn.

It's important not to drill your child when asking evaluative questions like this. You can pick one or two for this activity and then ask the others for different activities. Over time you will learn a great deal of information about what kind of learner your daughter is, and what her learning needs are, and without trying you will find yourself automatically organising homeschool life to meet those needs. Information is power - it's our job as parents and educators to seek that information and then put it to work.

Remember: education is a process, not a product. We are not recording how and what our children are learning to please others or get their approval, but to educate ourselves about that process, and to feel confident when talking to 'experts'.

You don't need to use jargon. Use your own words. Keep it simple. Keep it real. When you come across a word you aren't sure of the meaning, have a guess, then look it up in the dictionary. Most people don't use the word 'spherical' - they say 'shaped like a ball'. As home educators we are free to use both! Use whatever terminology makes you feel most comfortable.

Take half an hour a day, each day, for a month, to write up just one activity or happening in your child's life and I guarantee you will feel more confident about meeting her educational needs and answering your critics.

You may wish to continue with this format. I like the idea of recording in short bursts - a week or a month here and there, as a 'sample' of the overall educational process that happening at home. That turns it into a 'project' for me, something I can feel enthusiastic about, put a lot of energy and creativity into, and produce a document that I can look back on in years to come - a snapshot of my children's lives complete with their artwork, photographs, video or audio recordings, writing, a diary, comments, etc.

Let me know what type of recording works best to bolster your confidence as a home educator, and how the records you keep serve your family over the years in the comments section below.

© Beverley Paine

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Have a clear signal for stopping activities or when
you want your children to be quiet. Get silence and
wait for their full attention before you start speaking
and give clear instructions or demonstrations. Make
sure your children understand what they have to do.

Avoid activities that over-excite: It is often
difficult to return to a calm and controlled learning
environment after a noisy game or activity. If there
is little space, avoid activities that require a lot
of movement. If it’s important to keep the house tidy
and clean today, avoid activities that require
considerable cutting and pasting, or painting and
sculpting, as these can create a great deal of mess.

Make constructive comments about the quality of the
children's work and recognise their efforts: Let them
see that you value their work.

When teaching siblings at home, or if you have younger
children, make sure you prepare additional material,
or to help cope with fast and not so fast learners’
needs and don't let activities go on too long. For
younger children five to ten minute lessons are often
more than enough to introduce or revise a concept
previously introduced.

© Beverley Paine

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"I can only come to one conclusion, my family need a stable, consistent, happy thriving environment and I need to be relaxed in my approach to Homeschooling and in my approach to education across the board for each of my three girls." Rachel, homeschooling mum.

Then you need, first and foremost, an affirmation that you can breathe (heavily!) about relaxing: something like "we've got all day" :-)

I use affirmations whenever I can remember to take the tension out of the day. I don't use them often enough, however!

I know when I need to use an affirmation - it's in those emotionally charged moments when I'm in danger of reacting, rather than consciously acting. An affirmation is like a deep breath - it gives you that moment in which to pause. Counting to ten - slowly - while breathing can do the trick too. You need that space, more than anything else. The affirmation simply begins the reprogramming of unhelpful self-talk process.

Consistency begins by recognising the most important thing (just one!) you'd like to change right now. It would be beneficial if the whole family could agree on this one thing. Everyone can then contribute to making sure you all change that one thing - having support is crucial when we're trying to change entrenched behaviours.

Name that one thing. You could even put up a poster on the fridge with the new behaviour loudly proclaimed! It's important to keep words and thoughts constructive (positive). It's more effective to think about what we want, as if we already have it, than to dwell on what we don't want or what isn't working. Often naming what we want is enough to manifest it.

Forget about happiness. None of us are ever going to be consistently happy! It's okay to have blue moments or blue days. It's okay to be quietly reflective. Sometimes my children were/are quietly reflective and I'd interpret that as unhappiness and intervene... Not happy then!!! Or sometimes when one of us is learning something challenging we get frustrated with ourselves, we may get cranky or cross, and even short-tempered. When I saw my children struggling like this I would intervene - uninvited of course - and then they'd get cross at me!!! Sometimes learning isn't about having fun or being happy. Sometimes it's about loss, reconciliation, compassion, grief, coming to terms with inability... and so on.

Happiness is something that if we take care of ourselves will come naturally. Adequate sleep, rest, relaxation, laughter, exercise and nutritious food underpin happiness. Aim for those and you'll soon be on your way to happiness.

Happiness, as I'm currently finding out, doesn't arrive without balance though. That's the 'stable' part of Rachel's statement. Avoid extremes. We naturally do this in the physical realm but forget the importance of finding and maintaining mental balance. I'm terribly guilty of this: I have high highs where I get oodles of impressive work done and dreadful lows where I simply sit and wait for the depression to pass. I'm learning to resist the urge to be ultra busy when I'm hyper - relax more, especially then - so that I don't dive too low. As a result I'm able to do much more ALL the time. It's a huge relief, and wonder of wonders, I'm naturally happier!

Reacting, especially emotionally, drains energy. Time is the healing potion. When you're reacting, step back, sit down, hug yourself and your children. Stop whatever you are doing and have a playful moment, even if you don't feel like it. Break the cycle. Go outside. Remove yourself to break the building tension. Don't engage if you feel that you're reaction is going to be anything other than constructive... And try to view the situation objectively - stand outside of yourself and look on, as God would (and, if you're like me, you'll have a sudden surge of overwhelming guilt and shame and back down quickly!)

One of the tools I used all the time to help me relax about 'education' was thinking about what schools really offer. Not what the ideal school would offer, but what the real school down the road offers, every day. I'd look at society - will all it's never ending, never solved, problems and realise that school is mostly to blame. That's where the apathy is set in concrete. For every caring 'leader' that comes through the system there are nine people who are lost, haven't got a clue how to solve the big problems in their communities, or even in their personal lives. When have schools ever delivered the curriculum they promise to ALL their students?

We, and many other natural learning families, have discovered that even if you don't 'educate' your children, they will be on par with most of their peers at age 18. Any 'education' that you offer you children as a homeschooler is therefore a clear bonus!! You can't fail.

© Beverley Paine

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I am rarely political in my homeschooling musings, however I am enthused by the actions of a new political web presence in Australia you may have heard of - Get Up! It may not be everyone's cup of tea and has certainly drawn criticism from some quarters, and I definitely don't agree with all the political commentary or the thrust of each campaign, nor will I into the future, but I like to keep up with postings on their blog http://www.getup.org.au/blog.asp

Prompted by a request to protest Preventative Detention, I checked the blog and found information on Climate Change Health Impacts in Australia. The blog pointed to the full report, http://www.acfonline.org.au/uploads/res_AMA_ACF_Full_Report.pdf, which I promptly printed on recycled paper to read later, and to a news article with quotes by Ian Lowe, a scientist and commentator I have great respect for.

As home educators, the future health of our children, and our nation, is of utmost importance. What's the point of educating and bringing up these kids with such dedicated care if we're not looking after the environment they will live in? Information, I'm told, is power. When we're informed we're able to make decisions that can protect ourselves and our children. There is so much happening that heralds doom and gloom I'm often tempted to turn my head and look the other way. Burying myself in busy work is one way I stop myself from feeling totally overwhelmed. However, this let's my children, and the grandchildren and great-grandchildren I may one day enjoy, down. I can't allow my fear and apathy to have such devastating effects on their future.

Home educators face discrimination and inequity every day, and most of us accept those disadvantages, as well as lower incomes, as the price we pay to enjoy the freedom to educate our children at home, protected from the haphazard and diffident school education system. We don't have a lot of time to pursue to interests beyond the home and local community. It doesn't surprise me, though, that home educators are often very politically active about issues that are dear to their hearts, and that most of these issues relate to building a better, sustainable and more caring world.

Basing life around the welfare and education of children naturally creates aware, sensitive and caring community members.

Take a look at Get Up! and join their mailing list, if it's something that you'd like to introduce into your homeschooling learning programs. Even if you don't agree with the politics, the topics raise interesting and important issues of national importance for discussion with your children, especially adolescents.

If you have a favourite blog that brings awareness about important issues we need to consider as parents and educators, please bring it to my attention by posting a comment below.

© Beverley Paine

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There are many arguments against using tests as a form of assessment. Some children become so nervous that they can't perform and don't give a true account of their knowledge or ability. Other children seem to manage with last minute cramming despite not having worked or concentrated during learning activities. Children often forget facts and skills after the test, having learned them simply to pass the test. This makes a mockery of the purpose of learning activity and makes education meaningless. Luckily, giving tests to assess children’s progress isn’t the only way to evaluate the effectiveness of our learning programs and tests are usually a minor tool in our homeschooling toolkits.

Testing is definitely a legitimate way to check on progress. A test can give the parent valuable information about where the child is in his or her learning, and help show what needs to be concentrated on next. Tests can reveal what learning strategies and activities are most effective – what worked or didn’t work to achieve the objectives of the activity. In this way, testing can also assess the effectiveness of the teaching. It’s no good continuing to teach using the same approach and methods if the child isn’t progressing.

For some children, tests offer a sense of accomplishment as well as give information about what they know and what they may need to review. Some children will be motivated by taking tests, whereas other children find them intimidating and stressful. It’s a matter of working with, and not against, each child’s learning style.

When a child studiously reviews material and skills covered by preceding learning activities, he or she naturally consolidate and sometimes extend their knowledge and ability. Questions may arise during review that clarifies and illuminates aspects of the subject that may have been overlooked earlier. Tests reveal gaps in understanding and ability, which can be addressed through the use of quality, constructive feedback. In this way the test becomes an effective review.

If we are considering, as our purpose, encouraging our children to learn, building, in a continuous progression, on what they already know and can do, rather than compare their progress against other learners or a ‘norm’, then testing can be an invaluable teaching aid.

© Beverley Paine

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Beginning home education isn't as daunting as removing your child from school, which is almost another matter altogether!
We naturally teach our children, and have done from birth. The curriculum we offered them in the first few years of life was complete and needed only tweaks here and there as we discovered more about parenting and adjusted to family life.

When our children needed stimulating materials to take their skills and knowledge that one step further we provided them. We didn't ask a toddler taking his first steps to climb a staircase, but we gradually allowed him to explore one step at a time, with guidance and support.

Teaching our children what they need to know and being there for them, finding the things that will help them grow, is what parents do. If we've helped them master some of the most difficult tasks in life - learning to walk, talk and get along with others, all of which are usually taken care of in the first five years - then why do we have doubts that we can teach them to read, write, calculate, become social beings, and eventually launch themselves into world of adult life?

Education has become a mystified process, available only to the 'experts'. If we don't have a piece of paper certifying us in some way then we're obviously not qualified. But what is education? Take a minute to define the concept. Isn't this something you're already doing - and succeeding at?

It takes four years at university to learn how to teach everyone else's children. But we're only teaching our children. We don't need degrees and qualifications. Our job isn't the same as a classroom teacher. We're lucky - as are our children. And what's more, we have access to just about all the resources available to teachers. And our children have access to their teachers all day, not just between the hours of nine and three.

It's easy to feel intimidated and worried about making the decision to home educate. I used to worry that I'd fail my children: this worry kept me on my toes, always looking for more effective ways of meeting their learning needs. For years my greatest concern was not whether my children were learning, but how I could prove that to others... I found recording what and how my children were learning a great help to building my confidence as a home educator. My patchy records became a basis for my 'annual reports'. Most people seemed more accepting of the idea of home education once they looked through my collection of records. Over time I became adept at translating more of our daily patterns of activities into educational jargon, and began to teach my children things other people thought they needed to know. It took time, but eventually we eased back into the rhythm of learning that proved so successful in their early years.

© Beverley Paine
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"Wendy…was just slightly disappointed when he admitted that he came to the nursery window not to see her but to listen to stories. "You see, I don't know any stories. None of the lost boys knows any stories."
"How perfectly awful," Wendy said.
Peter Pan, J.M. Barrie

Humans have always created stories as a way of making sense of the world. It’s origins our buried in our intrinsic need to share personal experiences and understanding, and no doubt grew from simple embellishments and playfulness to the wonderful abundance of imagination we enjoy today. Beyond this, however, there is the innate need to pass on knowledge, wisdom, belief and value systems from generation to generation within communities to create a sense of social connection and belonging. Creating and retelling of stories bring countless hours of fascination, amusement, excitement and pleasure to children and adults alike. A storyteller is more than a teller of stories: storytellers are entertainers, teachers and healers with a long spiritual tradition.

Everyone tells stories. Many of us don’t recognise that when we tell our family and friends what happened yesterday we’re telling a story. This storyteller lives in the creative moment and in our intuitive self. Each time we recount the story we embellish it with remembered or imagined detail, adjust the emotional tone, select different emphasis to suit different audiences. If listened to with respect and interest our intuitive story telling abilities help to develop not only our language skills, but also our social development. By reflecting on the stories in our own lives we can enhance our ability to move beyond retelling into creating imaginative stories that help to build social connections within our communities and give rise to culture and heritage.

© Beverley Paine

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What are you up to today? Can you name the learning that occured? Pick one incident and describe what happened, why it happened and what was learned - both intentionally and unintentionally.

I learn all the time and the bit that makes me buzz with joy (yep, truly buzz with joy and a fair bit of excitement) is that I never know before each moment what I'm going to learn in the next.

I have a fair idea most of the time. That's because I'm a control freak. I haven't met a kid yet that wasn't hung up on control. That's what drives most kids to not do anything, especially in public, unless they get it perfect first time! I often wonder what sows the seeds of this need to control everything in our environment, or if it's imprinted in our DNA?

Humanity goes to amazing extremes to control the environment - spacial and temporal. What other critter does that? Most engage in controlling behaviour, and it's pretty obvious that much of that is directly related to survival.

When homeschooling and living, I did my best - which wasn't never good enough, by the way, to satisfy me - to keep focussed on the survival stuff. Natural and simple living and learning reflects a focus on survival. What do we need to survive? But beyond survival is thriving... Humanity can't afford to keep thriving at any cost though. We need to pull our focus back to survival for a while.

What happens when we model our homeschooling lives around this idea? When we scale back our learning programs back to the daily essentials? What are the daily essentials? What do you think they are? What does a child really need to know and be able to do on the way to becoming an adult? How many of us focus on what we consider to be the most important survival tasks each day?

When I look at how I go about surviving each day I'm appalled at how fogged up by complexity these simple tasks have become. I seem to make them thus, in order to justify my existence. Most of my worries grow from this complexity too. And all of the distractions that clutter my life! They form a weird kind of salve that soothes the underlying disquiet as they feed my addiction for busy-ness!

I feel the time is right to develop a natural learning curriculum that truly focusses on the basics, and then lets the individual get on with the business of playing with the rest...

© Beverley Paine

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It can take over a year to adjust to homeschooling after bringing a child home from school. It’s necessary to rethink the whole idea of education. Classroom learning is geared to educate thirty children with one teacher. It’s not impossible, but it’s difficult and frustrating to simply transfer classroom teaching and learning approaches directly to the home setting.

In addition, there’s a good chance that the child has had her natural desire to learn, as well as her creativity and imagination quashed. She will need time to detox, take a vacation, have some down time – or all three!

The parent needs to deschool as well. For most of us the only educational approach we’ve known is some kind of school – institutionalised learning. We’re used to the idea that education is a passive ‘they teach and we learn’ kind of thing. Educators, even in schools, know this is only a tiny part of what really happens. We need to update our notions about constitutes an education. The easiest way to do this is to talk to other homeschooling families, hang out with them, and see for ourselves how children learn outside of a school setting.

Some of the myths about education we must dispel are:

• It cannot take place without a university trained and qualified educator
• It has to take place in a classroom or classroom environment, with desks, texts or workbooks
• It takes place Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.
• It stops when we graduate from high school
• Children must learn certain concepts in a predetermined manner
• Children must learn certain concepts at a specified age
• Children cannot learn without a qualified educator to hold their hand and guide them through the learning process

Some books I recommend for parents are:

• Challenging Assumptions in Education
• Dumbing us Down
• Self University
• Creating Learning Communities
• Punished by Rewards

© Beverley Paine

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A friend recently wanted to know why I had such nice children – which is the generally accepted view around here! I had no ready answer other than I thought it had something to do with homeschooling, which is true.

However, not all homeschooling children are so nice, or so caring towards their parents and their siblings, the environment, etc.... so it had to be something else.

Honesty has always been big in my life, but I never really consciously knew it until this year. I used to fight hard against hypocrisy, as it was rather prevalent at home during my childhood. It’s hard to recognise one's own hypocrisy: I found I had to be scrupulously honest and very critical with and of myself to reveal it. This is a major focus of my life, and one of the goals underpinning the home education of the children.

From the start I made sure that I told the kids as much as I could about how I felt, what I believed, and pointed out that there are other ways of being that are just as valid as mine. Tolerance seemed to me to be important in the development of honesty.

I tried as best as I could not to lie to the kids, to myself or to others. I tried not to 'hide' anything from them, except surprise presents, of course! If I talked about my children, and I do that all the time, the children know about it and what I say, etc. We didn’t lie to control their behaviour. If we didn’t want them to do something we said so - "I don't want you to do that because it (worries, frightens, annoys...) me, or will endanger yourself or others. Then we might talk about it. Often the children would accept my ‘ruling’ without explanation, far too busy to stop and listen, and confident in my judgement. I know that’s because we’d been careful to trust and respect each other, both dependent on honesty!

Over the years I’ve found that talking to others honestly about how I live, how I feel, how things are like at home, now and in my past, has given them the confidence to talk about themselves. I would never have found out that most of us share the same worries, concerns and fears and that a problem shared is a problem half-solved, if I hadn’t been so honest and revealing in the first place. I’ve made so many wonderful friends I can rely on for support during any kind of crisis, or for simply having a great time together. Life’s too short to miss out on that!

© Beverley Paine

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I often founnd homeschool unsatisfying because we often didn't seem to
do much. As Thomas, Roger and April grew into middle childhood and
early adolescence they rarely instigated activities of the kind I'd
find in a classroom of their peers. We were always busy, but products
weren't always a focus or immediate outcome of our activities.
Sometimes it took ages to complete a project, even years. Many
projects were abandoned mid-stream, as new passions or interests
arose; or as I later realised, the essential learning driving the
interest was satisfied and there wasn't a valid or pressing reason to
go any further.

Because the children came to projects motivated by their own interests
and passions, usually bursting with ideas, they stayed on task,
working for hours on end without break, sometimes focussed for days.
It would have been silly for me to interrupt these intense learning
sessions, to introduce an activity that would 'teach' or advance other
skills...

I realised that a lot of the curriculum presented in schools mimics or
tries to set up artificial environments to stimulate learning that
naturally and effortlessly occurs in the home, especially in the area
of health, personal and physical development. Learning hygiene and
nutrition at home isn't alienated from cause and effect, sanitised by
reams of paperwork and colouring in. It's immediately meaningful to
the learner, who doesn't even know he or she is learning anything at all.

Homeschooling for us has been essentially activity based, and as we
grew in our knowledge of how learning really occurs those activities
became less contrived. It's hard to justify doing something for
learning's sake, but it's easy to persuade involvement in rebuilding a
petrol driven motor for a miniature car for a senior citizen to drive
in the local end of year pageant as a clown... Easy because Roger and
Thomas are interested in mechanics, love to help friends, don't want
to perform in the pageant, but want to support it by cheering it along
and helping build a float or two, as they see participation as vital
to building community.

Up until a couple of years ago, I still fell into the trap of asking
Thomas to do something that feels alien and not at all immediately
meaningful in any context. I rack my brain for reasons, and usually
find some kind of fear, and we settle on that, and do the silly thing
and feel better. We're happy to compromise, but only because most of
our life is full of busy, self motivated and meaningful activities
that are loaded with all the goals and objectives and stated aims of
all the school curricula I have ever read. I often wonder what lasting
effect constantly mimicking real life, way past the age where such
pretend games are happily played, has on young minds...

© Beverley Paine

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I used to believe that my kids were doomed because I was hopeless at disciplining myself - especially to finish stuff I'd started, but then when others look at what we've acheived in life - Robin and me - it usually amazes them. We're always getting told we do so much... We don't finish anything - well, not straight away. We have a dozen or more things on the go at once. It looks and is chaotic. We can't discipline ourselves to be centred on one job at a time until that jobs done... If we're lucky we'll get 90% of the way there and then we'll start on another project, or pick up one of the unfinished ones. It frustrates us sometimes, but only when we're trying to fit into what we think we *should* be doing...

At home we tackle projects and most chores with enthusiam - largely because we do them when we feel like it, or want to. If you visited on some days you'd think we were total slobs! :-) They're probably the days after several days of intense effort on some huge project, like laying pavers, making new guinea pig enclosures, bathroom renovations... (which still aren't finished one year later!) Because we do things when we are highly motivated we seemed more focussed, and definitely enjoy life more. :-)

I'm not convinced Robin and I are undisciplined, but it would sure look like it to someone who didn't know us. When we are ready to tackle something we approach it in a disciplined way. Plus, although we gave up punishing our kids in a traditional way when they were tots, we felt that our approach of discussion, negotiation and leadership instilled a better kind of discipline. Not that either of us were very good at that approach - we fumbled our way through and took ages to learn to let go of the need to bully the kids and ourselves.

© Beverley Paine

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For over a year I've been threatening to renovate my Homeschool Australia website. Well, it's finally done! You're all invited to take a peek and tell me what you think!!

I wouldn't never have completed this project if it wasn't for the assistance and encouragement from my son Thomas. Eighteen year old Thomas has been fiddling about with Dreamweaver and put together a new look for The Frog Pond, his forever evolving website about what he does all day as an unschooler. The current focus on The Frog Pond is his modifications on his Subaru Brumby, but in the past he's loaded his tutorials for modifying computers and computer games... Thomas is heavily into modifying! There are also some great images and movies of him and his brother having fun on their motorbikes, and my absolute favourite movie of the wild duckling we raised a couple of years ago.

As Homeschool Australia has over 100 pages I thought it best to rework my defunct Writing Pages, now called Beverley Paine South Australian Children's Author. In time I hope to add more published novels to my rather lonely 'The Chimaera Conspiracy'. Time is what I need more than anything else! We live incredibly busy lives... This has led me to Fruitful - a fantastic downshifting resource from Sally Lever. Sally's free online newsletter is helping to keep me on track toward my goal of simplifying my life.

Using Dreamweaver and Thomas's help I was able to quickly put together a small website. Once I got the hang of using 'styles', and the working layout of Dreamweaver, I found it so much easier to use that FrontPage. We needed to include dynamic content to cut back on the complexity of my site and to give me more time to write, rather than play around fixing broken links, etc.

Web design has been a huge part of our unschooling/homeschooling lives over the last six or seven years. Thomas has grown up with computers and his knowledge and skills amaze most people. He keeps it quiet though - a stint fixing other people's computers and problems a couple of years ago quickly robbed him of just about all of his free time. He guards his time fiercely! According to Thomas there is never enough time each day to do what he wants to!

Have a wonderful week,
cheers Beverley

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The problem of logistical hurdles seldom prevents me from doing whatever I want to do. I've developed a practical way of thinking over the years that says that if something isn't happening then perhaps the obstacles are the lessons I need to focus on, rather than the desire. In this way I've learned much about my limitations and how to accept them. From that platform of self-knowledge I either concentrate on my existing skills and talents, and improve them, or work out gentle ways to challenge and extend those areas of limitation.

Where logistical hurdles force a complete stop to all activity in a particular direction, I examine the causes objectively and usually find that the desire was inappropriate or unrealistic in the first place.

For example, I wanted to go to University a dozen or so years ago while homeschooling my children, but the course I chose necessitated learning on campus. This meant renting a house in the city and coming home on weekends, at considerable inconvenience to other family members and something we couldn't afford. Over three months I worked hard to create this reality, but eventually came to see that I wasn't ready to push in that direction yet. In fact, the desire to study at University was externally driven. I could achieve the same results by self-education, without leaving home, with greater efficiency. While searching for a creative solution to facilitate my desire I realised what motivated me, and what I really wanted to achieve. I learned more about myself.

Since then I tend to analyse logistical problems and ask 'why have I created this block', acknowledging and celebrating the way logistical problems naturally slow down the headlong rush down paths that may not suit, or may be externally motivated. If it becomes apparent that I actually want the original goal, that it is my heart's desire, then logistical problems seem to evaporate in a cloud of creative solutions that pop out of nowhere. Things happen, and quickly. The universe provides, abundantly. I trust in this process. Experience has shown it truly works.

Often conflict is embedded in the process. Things seem to go wrong, or become difficult. I celebrate conflict as the sharp end of the learning curve. If I am observant and objective enough I learn rapidly. With a positive attitude, problems become solutions, usually to issues I hadn't recognised initially.

This positive attitude was tested to the limit with my sister's illness and eventual death. Instead of focusing on unrealistic goals I did my utmost to learn the difficult lessons this time provided for me. Each obstacle challenged me to grow. Often I couldn't see the nature of the lessons until I reflected upon them much later, with an objective mind. My sister's life became a gift of self-development for me, in ways that I had not anticipated.

Setting realistic goals is important. A few years ago we made a wish list at New Year. As the year passed we crossed off the goals achieved. All but the most unrealistic, like winning the Lotto or owning a $500,000 car, were realised. The desire for a swimming pool was realised in an unexpected, but delightful way. We purchased an adequate inflatable paddling pool for $60 that we could all sit in and cool off - the real desire behind our need for a pool.

Last year I found a list of long-term goals I'd recorded in 1986. Ninety percent of those goals have been achieved. The ones that weren't didn't accurately reflect who we were as people, but were externally motivated by the need to conform or please others. The same holds true for our lists of tasks we complete on a daily basis. The realistic ones get done. I think this is because we continuously reflect upon who we are, what we want, and what our limitations, talents and abilities are. We also reflect upon how the world affects us, through peer group pressure, media exposure, cultural rituals and so on. Sorting out the externally driven motivations and desires from the personally meaningful internally driven motivation and desires can be difficult, but it certainly makes a difference to how and when goals are achieved.

© Beverley Paine

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One of my constant frustrations when my children were young was that parenting information stopped when children turned six... I had parenting books that could tell me everything I needed to know about children under that age, and a book by Penelope Leach was never far from my hands, but no one seemed to know how a child developed - naturally - after this age! All the studys on children's development were done on children who went to school, and this seemed totally inappropriate for my situation. Especially as I wasn't seeing the kind of development the books described. I wasn't having the kind of problems described either! I am glad there are now authors like Jan Hunt and Alfie Kohn producing great books that help parents navigate child-rearing beyond those early years and beyond school...

Many of the questions I'm asked about homeschooling once parents are through the getting started stage are usually parenting questions: the kind of questions we asked during those early childhood years - what is 'normal' development for a child of this age, are we doing the best we can for our child, how can we overcome this or that problem? I often find that the problems are usually resolved when the parent recognises that each child is an individual and that issues usually arise when we try to fit these individuals into behaviours not tailored to their, or even our, needs, but to fit what someone else has determined should be 'perfect'.

Unschooling and natural learning unfold from the centre - our centres. Our kids' centres. Our families' centres. The question we need to ask each day is what is central to our needs, as individuals within a family, within a community, within a society, within the family of humanity. Keep it honest and frank and confronting and we will naturally (and almost magically!) meet our needs in a timely and satisfactory manner.

© Beverley Paine

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"Can anyone please offer any suggestions as to what they do when their child wastes time, whines or sooks when they are supposed to be doing bookwork? My daughter is almost six and is very good at the work when she sets her mind to it but for the best part, if I am not able to sit close to her when she has work to do, she is distracted by anything and everything and she has a good attention span - it just seems to be set bookwork. Do people use rewards, punishments, bribes?"

This was my experience in the first few years of homeschooling and nothing I tried seemed to work and I tried lots of different things... bribery and threats, pleading, star charts, making learning 'fun'...

It was really hard and I felt that I was failing all the time and worried that my children would grow up absolutely useless. Well, they're grown up now. Thomas, my youngest, will be 19 in a month, has been unschooled since birth. Robin and I are totally rapt with how he's turned out. I read a book by Julia Webb (UK researcher) about a decade ago on grown up homeschoolers. She said that unschoolers tend towards starting their own businesses and seem unwilling to work for someone else for very long. Thomas is a lot like that. He doesn't know why anyone would want to work five days a week when there is so much to do every day. He busies himself around home - mostly working on cars or computers, but also helping out with the house renovations, garden, landscaping, taking care of our animals (about 100 assorted chooks, guinea pigs, geese, pigeons, ducks), housework, etc. We live on four acres so there's always something that needs to be done. He does computer jobs for pocket money and to keep his car on the road. If he wanted to he could be working full time fixing computers in this area...

Unschooled children grow up with different values, but with strong work ethics. My children are diligent workers, but only work on things that are important to them. However, they'll go out of their way to help others. April's loyalty to her employers (past and present) makes her an asset to their businesses - she believes that doing her best to help their businesses grow will help them employ other young people, as well as improve her working conditions. This was not the outcome I imagined 15 years ago, when she'd slack off, whine, and even cry doing her bookwork...

Back then I backed off - I couldn't think of anything else to do, having tried punishment and reward to no avail. First of all, I said "pick a page you want to do, or can do". Basically, do anything, so long as it looks like learning... give me some paper evidence that learning is happening and I'll be happy! Eventually I began saying, "what would you rather do right now?" And then finally, just about everything she did was negotiated first - we'd talk about what I wanted her to achieve, what she wanted to do/achieve, the different ways that could happen, what we'd need, how much time would be needed, etc. We slowly gave up the rigidity of a structured curriculum written by someone else and did more and more activities related to our immediately daily life. Which, as it happens, was a very busy life embued with a great deal of practical skills and knowledge.

Occassionally I'd have a fit of insecurity and bring out the books and ask the kids to do a few pages everyday for a week or so. I couldn't force them to do it on educational grounds. They knew that doing a few sums or pages or writing wasn't a real education. But they'd do it for me, to make me feel better about being a homeschooling mum. Every time we did this it was obvious that even without doing any reading, writing or arithmetic for a few weeks or months, their skills in all three areas had advanced. A few days of what we started calling 'playing school' was a tremendous boost to MY confidence in unschooling. We did this for years - I am a slow learner!

One thing I can say for sure: that if I wanted my children to do anything they didn't particularly wanted to do, without a fuss or whinging, or if I wanted them to do a good job, then I had to BE with them the whole time. I learned that this was THE fastest way for them to become competent and independent at this tasks. Helping them, working beside them, modelling the skills I wanted them to learn, fast tracked this process. Whinging and whining at them, yelling instructions from the other room, was a complete waste of time and didn't promote healthy and happy relationships within the home. For better or worse, homeschooling is hands-on for the parent. I've found that self-instructional material works best when the children reach the teen years and have had plenty of time to develop self-discipline through playing and pursuing hobbies largely on their own. If we use the same methods that teachers use in schools we get the same behavioural problems that teachers in school get!

When Thomas was approaching 14 I felt that he ought to know how to do maths on paper, just in case an employer ever asked him to work something out. Much of my worry about my children's education was based on my fear that people would think less of me if my children were 'failures'. That was a hard truth to finally accept and deal with. I asked Thomas to work his way through two maths books, doing about 30% of the problems, enough to check that he understood the mathematical concepts and methods. Thomas never needed reminding to do his 'bookwork' and would sit, often for an hour or more, three or four days a week, slowly working through text book. Occasionally he'd ask for help, but mostly he taught himself whatever he didn't already know.

We are taught that when children resist our attempts to educate them there is something wrong with the child. My experience is that it's not the child, but the method and resources we're pushing onto the child, and sometimes simply 'when'. I learned that homeschooling life is so much easier, and the children enjoyed learning so much more, when I matched their learning styles and needs to what I presented. This meant working out what kind of learners they are, when they learn best (what time of day, what kind of conditions best suit them, etc). It took me about ten years to sort all this out! As I said, I'm a slow learner.

Someone stood up at a (Christian) conference in Qld last year and said that even if you don't deliberately teach your children at home, they'll still get a better education than they would at school. It's really hard to fail your kids at home. They will learn an incredible amount through conversation, from watching the television or browsing the internet or playing computer and other games, from having so much more time to play and pursue their hobbies and interests, from the access to wide variety of adults and children in the community, from the opportunity to be involved in many more household chores than they would if they were at school all week... It all adds up to a wonderfully rich and meaningful education. The rest - the bookwork, unit studies, narration, excursions, etc - they're all bonuses. It's easy to see why homeschooled kids are turning out the way they are - valued and appreciated members of their communities.

© Beverley Paine

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On the Homeschool Australia FAQ list recently a mother lamented about the time her children spent playing with their Xbox. Addiction to computer and/or video games is an issue that arrives frequently on homeschooling forums.

The way I see it, the bit that kids get addicted to is the fiction. That happens to kids who can't get their noses out of books, but noone bugs them as much as kids who watch telly or play computer games all day. We like computers rather than xboxs and playstations cos you can use them for other things. Thomas and Roger would spend ages on the game, but then they'd also be using the paint/draw programs, word, publisher, design and fiddle with webpages, etc. That led to making and editing movies, music, writing emails, responding to forums, surfing the internet and so on.

Even writing on forums is addictive and thomas reckons it's because it's sort of a fictional world. It's not as real as being there actually chatting to someone. It can eat up a lot of time every day too!

I don't want to downplay the other aspects of computer or video gaming that are addictive - such as the cleverly crafted plot that resist your attempts to shut the game down after you've levelled up (or cliff-hangers that stop you from closing the book at the end of the chapter). Games which are little more than click-fests tend to mesmerise me. Doing the same thing over and over again, until we get it 'right', is a component of many computer games. For some reason the game creators have cracked the secret to motivating children to learn in this manner. Try motivating them to do maths by repeating the same sum over and over again!

There's no getting away from the fact that if something 'looks' educational then as adults and parents we're generally happy. If it looks like fun, then we're not, yet as parents and educators we're forever trying to make 'lessons' fun for kids! Go figure!!

Kids live in a fantasy world most of the time. Unless they get hooked on books (fiction) most kids used to lose the ability to wander in this fantasy land, especially in the pre-telly days. Artists and writers always got to hang around in fantasy land, but their art was never considered 'real' work. You couldn't make a living out of it, unless of course you had a patron... I hated growing up and leaving my fantasy world behind. I hated the idea that growing up meant always being responsible. I was a reluctant teenager!

Nowadays kids can stay in fantasy land just about forever. They seem to grow up just as fast though, and embrace that responsibility we all have to eventually. Homeschool kids don't seem to have any problem with growing up, though many are very happy to take their time.

There are real issues to be dealt with when kids play computer non-stop. Like wearing their eyes out (same trouble with readers). Some kids get headaches, especially with VCRs: LCD screens may solve this problem, but eye strain is a huge issue. Dry eye can develop - remind kids to blink lots and to focus long distance. We have a window behind the screen, though this can set up glare problems that need attention. Drink lots of water - not cordial, pop, or juice. Water. Keeps the brain going, and to score well you need lots of water... Keyboards don't cost much if it's spilled (so long as the kid pays for it so s/hes careful next time!) or use water bottles.

Balance all day/night computer playing with lots of physical activity outside. My guys would play for four days and then they'd be outside for four days, climbing trees, playing war, chasey games, etc... They seemed to know instinctively that they needed to stretch. Especially when they were younger. Older teens can easily forget, but then think about those guys hunched over school desks all day, five days a week. No one complains about that!

© Beverley Paine

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On the Homeschool Australia FAQ list today Theresa asked:
"Could you expand on how you set your home up to be an interesting house? When they're not playing computer, I am constantly being harassed about their being bored... " What ages are your children and how long have they been homeschooled and how much exposure have they had to school, preschool or child-care settings?
"I'm bored."

This statement exasperates parent. They remember their frustration at feeling bored as children and inability to find something - anything - to relieve the apathetic state in which they wallow. As parents nothing they suggest to their children captivates the imagination or generates enthusiasm. Everyone ends up frustrated and short tempered.

Daniel Macintyre in his Key Words blog The Blessings of Boredom believes that boredom is a necessary step in learning new things and lists the steps how this tends to happen. When I examined my own bouts of boredom I found the same process at work.

Children naturally go through growth transitions. We all do. Did you know that we aren't fully 'adult' until around 21 years of age? That's when our brains are fully formed, but throughout the rest of our lives our bodies change and this means mental and emotional growth occurs - we can't avoid it! I've always found growth transitions are accompanied by periods of confusion. Mild confusion can look a lot like boredom and is accompanied by much frustration. It's often simply an 'in-between' stage where I've finished, or nearly finished, one project or activity or phase of life, and am not quite ready for the next. I usually don't have a clue what the next passionate interest will be, or all-consuming activity. It's a matter of impatiently sitting around waiting for something to happen but not knowing what it will be, or sometimes, especially before I became aware of the process, not even knowing I was in a transition stage at all. I recognised this first in myself, and then realised it's what my children seemed to suffer from fairly regularly. Life was chaotic and unpleasant when two or three family members were in a transition phase like this at the same time! You know how it's almost impossible to overcome boredom by offering, or being offered, activities to do? We can bribe our children or ourselves with enticing activities or treats, but ultimately this process fails, as once the treat is over, we're bored again. I'm with Alfie Kohn in his beliefs about the futility of reward and punishment as effective motivators for behavioural change. The effect is usually short term: remove the external motivator and the problem still remains. So, my number one treatment for boredom, is to sit it out. We all seem to move through this phase faster if we simply accept it, instead of fighting it. I had a young friend who was bored every time she visited our house. This went on for years, from age 5 to 10. As far as she was concerned, although she never said it, she didn't like coming as nothing here interested her. It would have been better if I owned a horse or two... Sometimes we say we're bored when there is actually something else happening - we don't want to do what we have to do or are made to do. Once this misuse of the word 'bored' was recognised and discussed we felt empowered to change either our attitude to what we had to do or the the activity itself. Now most of the boredom we experience is due to transitions and not because we're doing something we don't want to. It's hard to do things we don't want to do when we have to, and that becomes an issue of how to motivate ourselves, which requires the development of self-discipline. All of these take time. It's unreasonable to expect a child under ten years of age to show much ability in these areas! My advice is to keep a positive eye on the goal and acknowledge that it's a journey, a very long journey! Most of us haven't mastered these skills as adults yet insist that our children be competent. :-) A second, and most important, look at boredom. And why I asked that second question... School children have been trained to be bored. They've been directed for most of their waking hours. They haven't been given the opportunity to know what to do with their time when left to their own devices. The only cure for this is to simply sit it out, wait for them to get bored of being bored. Don't rescue them. They want and crave and are addicted to being rescued - that is, having someone direct them. Modern education is contaminated with the idea that learning has to be fun: thus education becomes entertainment. Our children are addicted to entertainment. We mostly blame television and video/computer games, but if our children have spent any time in child-care, preschool or school they've been indoctrinated in the cult of entertainment. When we're addicted to harmful substances (alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, fast foods, etc) we're advised to abstain. It's hard to avoid entertainment, but it's probably worth trying to reduce availability and incidents of passive entertainment. I wouldn't tell my kids not to use the computer or television, etc though - that's like telling me not to eat the mudcake on the kitchen bench. Forget it, I'm going to cut a slice, and then another, and another. I'm hooked. I need a supportive environment to overcome this addiction. Remove the cake. Remove the computer/television. Ouch! Okay, we've handled that hurdle, but the kids are still bored. So am I! We can sit and do nothing, and that's an excellent idea, as it will fast track the whole process. Any distraction at this stage (at any stage) will only postpone the healing process. We crave distraction in our lives. From birth we've been trained to accept distraction as a temporary solution to whatever problem we face. If we're unlucky, we're ployed with one distraction after another until we learn that problems are to be avoided and ignored until they no longer seem to effect us. I've often wondered if a lot of chronic illnesses are actually created as a result. We're given food to distract us, giving rise to the risk of obesity in adult life. We're given toys to distract us, giving rise to credit problems in adult life. We're given activities to do, giving rise to the workaholic... What we really needed back then, and what we need when we're bored, is for the need that gave rise to our distress to be identified and addressed. Reflective observation is the method I used, plus asking my children what they needed, rather than what they wanted, to feel okay. I'd watch my children a lot and talk about what they did and why with whoever was handy. They didn't need to listen - I always listen to what I say. Talking (and writing) is my way of reflecting on my thoughts. Occasional feedback was great as it always offered a different perspective. An objective and critical perspective was especially valuable, but was always challenging and I didn't always value the opinions when they were given! Most of the time our children's needs aren't as apparent as their wants. Like us, children get confused between needs and wants. Once we help our children learn the difference they rarely become 'bored'. We don't need to remove the distractions - including entertainment - from their lives to help them overcome this uncomfortable (for everyone) boredom. It helps to let them know that being bored is their problem, not everyone elses, and that they aren't to bug others. At times, when I'm feeling low or bored, I'll over-indulge. I do the same with mudcake. And the result is the same. I get sick. And bored of mudcake, or bored of being bored. The result? I eat nutritious and healing food. I do something that makes me feel better about myself - I find something I'm interested in doing. If someone gives me healthy food or an activity to do it doesn't fix the problem, it postpones it. This has nothing to do with 'will power' by the way. It's all about brain/body chemistry, so don't give yourselves a hard time if you can't 'win' or be 'perfect' all the time. These words are loaded with emotional baggage: it makes sense to chuck them away, at least for a while, if not forever. Begin by accepting that boredom is often a symptom of growth and that it's natural and okay. Identify the need, don't feed the wants. Keep distractions as a last resort tactic. Experience the full depth of boredom and let it pass, because it will, everything does. Keep an eye on it, don't let it slide into depression, but if you're tending to need, not want, this isn't likely. Creating a stimulating, educational environment: I've covered this pretty extensively in my $2.50 booklet Learning Materials for the Homeschool, and in a chapter of Getting Started with Homeschooling. But organising a learning enviroment isn't going to work unless we accept that our children are responsible for what they do with their time. If we become directors of their time we rob them of the opportunity to take on this role for themselves. I've met kids who are in charge of their own time from toddlerhood, and I've met kids who need direction, even in play, at 18... As usual, it's our attitudes and beliefs about life and how we manage it that are more important, especially to our children. It's the way we approach choices - the underlying ethics and attitudes - that matter. What are doing and why? What do we need? What do we want? Sometimes we need to be still and just allow the subconscious to work on these important questions. Ultimately, sometimes we need to be 'bored'. Some quick tips for setting up the enviroment to engage children:
- a garden. Pay attention to creating the kind of garden your inner child would delight in. - access to the kitchen. Encourage the children to cook. The kitchen is a science lab too. Teach the kids how to play and clean up safely. - lots of busy shelves. I hate cupboards and drawers. If I see it, I will use it. If I can't see it, I forget it's there. - be prepared: stock those shelves. Have the stuff on hand, anticipate the children's needs. - go out, for a walk. This is totally underrated in life.

© Beverley Paine

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Years ago I found examining and reflecting on the way I naturally learn and socialise was a fast track to understanding what my children needed, educationally and socially. Often our expectations of children generally in society are totally out of whack with what is 'real'. When I began regarding my children with the same respect and manner that I do myself or others, I found that most of the issues and problems we'd been battling with as homeschoolers disappears, as did many of our worries!

Pondering on just why we have this expectation that children need to be with crowds of others made me look closely at the media, beginning with story books and then television programs and movies, kids magazines and shows, etc. I haven't done extensive reading on why society believes that children should hang out in big groups, but I suspect that it's driven by the Industrial Revolution and the need to alienate people from their communities to make them pliable and agreeable - a sort of socialist (in the worst, not best sense of socialism) plot. When we break down strong family and clan ties we can easily move people from A to B, even if it's to the other side of the country, or even the world. We can make sure we always have an amenable workforce... The result - the nuclear family and persent day western society, which is based on individualism and materialism.

In the past, when children from indigenous tribal communities played it was within sight and sound of many adults, not just one or two, as happens in schools and other 'constructed' communities. The adults ranged from teens to grandparents and wise old crones. Working parents - male and female - were probably not so attentive, but then again, children played where parents worked, or worked alongside them... It's still like this in many places in the world, but we (westerners) keep pushing the idea of school, because education is probably the quickest way to eliminate poverty. I'm not against educating folk, I just think there has to be a better solution for these countries than offering them school as the only approach...

Creating Learning Communities is a great book and a fantastic idea. It's what I wanted for my children - a learning community that respected all learners as learners - even the teachers! But especially the young folk in our lives.

Children do have different social needs from adults though. Toddlers have different social needs from children. And individuals have different social needs to each other. It's important for children to 'compare' themselves to others, to 'try on' different personalities, imitate the actions of others and see if they work or are suitable. Not just other kids either, but a range of folk. Mentors come in all shapes and sizes! Kids need free time - free from unnecessary adult interference or construction - to explore, investigate and experiment on their own terms, within a safe, caring environment. They need time to be alone, in groups, or as individuals. Beyond three or four years of age children need to hang out with other children to learn how to get along cooperatively, to learn about compromise, and rules. Siblings really help this cause along, but the family is a limited environment and children love a good challenge! They need to bounce of others, with the odd exposure to strangers, who may become friends, to grow.

I have found that children will ask for more social contact when and if they need it. We needn't supply it before then, unless we suspect our child has social learning difficulties, in which case we'd be plotting a course to help his or her development along, suitable and sensitive to his or her needs and timing.

© Beverley Paine

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"If you homeschool your kids they are not going to know how to be social as an adult and if you don't expose them to the negativity that is in the world then they won't know how to deal with it when they get out there on their own."

I realised very early on that most people weren't that interested in why my children were homeschooled, or how they will eventually turn out. Their questions were often quick reactions to the idea of homeschooling, with little thought beforehand, kind of like something to say that sounded as if they were really interested. That's why the questions are always the same old 'what about socialisation', 'they won't learn to cope in the big bad world', 'what about university'... Often it depends on who the person is and what they consider most important in life.

Many times I've taken the time to respond thoughtfully and people begin to stare off into space. Silly me. They're really not interested. And then there are those who feel defensive, and are asking because they feel the need to beat you into submission, to see the error of your ways and do it their way, so as to reassure them that they aren't making a big mistake by not homeschooling their children. Parents and in-laws can be really defensive, because you homeschooling your kids is like saying they weren't good enough parents. In fact, most of my friends felt 'judged' in this way by our decision to homeschool. I finally ended up by prefacing any answer to any homeschooling question by saying "homeschooling isn't for everyone, only weirdos do it, and we never know how it will turn out, but if things don't work out the kids will be back in school, for sure." That's the magical line almost every inquirer wants to hear...

The other magical line that worked everytime for busybodies that weren't really interested: "our homeschool is approved by the government" (whether it was or it wasn't). The number of people that simply shut up and went about their business after hearing this was amazing. Even the ones that looked ready to brow beat me to death!

If people are really interested in our children's welfare they will ask more intelligent questions.

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Annabelle wrote:
"Are there any other mums out there in a similar boat to me? ie: have a baby and don't need to 'formally' homeschool (meeting govt. education requirements because the child is of 'school age' ) but wish to embrace the philosophy at this tender age? I would like to have an opportunity to meet such parents and babes as a social outlet for me and my darling son."

Are you aware of http://naturalparentingsa.no-ip.org/ "Natural Parenting SA is a small group of parents who got together because of similar parenting styles, philosphies and interests, which include attachment parenting, cloth nappies, baby wearing, elimination communication (natural infant hygiene), breastfeeding, co-sleeping, home birthing, natural birthing and homeschooling." Mailing list: http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/naturalparentingsa/join

Have you read Jan Hunt's book The Natural Child Parenting from the Heart, or Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting? I stock both these books on my www.alwayslearningbooks.com.au website. It took me a couple of thorough readings to fully understand Alfie's principles in his Punished By Rewards book - in fact, the second time I took notes. I'm totally convinced of his approach to the subject of motivation. Most of us are brainwashed into believing we don't have time to observe, listen, focus, pay attention, and give time to our children (or our own needs) and lose touch with what's real in our lives. Often when I'm reading a book or an article I scan to get the instant solutions I seek - that's another way in which I've been brainwashed, both by school and by the media. I'm learning to slow down (yay to the Slow Food advocates for kickstarting this movement!). It's much more satisfying to seek to understand rather than look for quick and easy solutions.

Annabelle's question prompted me to consider a fundamental aspect of natural learning within the homeschool environment. So often on homeschooling forums I see questions about how and what to teach our children, together with requests for lesson plans. Years ago I didn't understand why other homeschooling mums needed so much input from outside of their homes - making up lesson plans and knowing what to teach my children came naturally to me - all too naturally! I fell into the trap of overloading them and me all too often, but that's another story for another time.

Friends would ask me to help them come up with activities and I usually resisted, but wasn't sure why I felt reluctant. Most of the time I can dream up a dozen activities off the top of my head, thinking first of what I would do in that situation with my children. After a few years of homeschooling I learned to look at the family that wanted the information instead, and gear my ideas and solutions to their particular needs and lifestyle. But there's no way I could know what those children needed to learn, or where they were at in their development, as thoroughly as I could my own children. Most of my suggestions were based on generalisations. That's what teachers and curriculum writers do in schools.

My wise old friend John Peacock kept insisting that we are the experts when it comes to homeschooling our children. I've been to a few conferences where he was a keynote speaker and he always slipped this in somewhere. We're 'at the coal face', he'd say. Our children, our family, our lifestyle, our needs: these are the things that determine how our children are educated, what they learn, when and how. The information and knowledge we seek about how to go about homeschooling is inside us all, just waiting to be voiced and validated. We simply need to ask ourselves the questions we ask others, and patiently wait for the answers to arise, as they always do, in our daily lives. It took me years to recognise some of the answers: they'd arrive in various guises time and again until I paid attention and noticed them for what they were: solutions to questions I'd asked long ago. I have faith in my ability to find solutions and that's why it's easy for me to brainstorm a dozen different activities to help my children learn just about anything. Sometimes it's a matter of working out where to look for more information - that's an activity in itself.

When we take time to 'be' with our children completely; when we pay attention to their needs, and cast out our conditioned need to satisfy distant and impersonal societal parenting objectives; when we base our decisions and solutions around the strengths and limitations of the individuals in our own family, taking into consideration the situation and circumstances of our family lifestyle, cocooned within a larger community; then we are empowered to give our children exactly what they, and we as parents, need in our homeschooling lives.

Most of us don't have the confidence to 'go it alone'. And shouldn't have to. Learning is a social game and it's a lot of fun, especially when we share what we've found out. Often, someone's suggestion, will trigger an avalanche of 'answers' of our own. I truly believe that we all stand on the shoulders of giants: that without the support and encouragement of others we'd get nowhere.

© Beverley Paine 2006

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I have noticed over the last decade or so many children who have problems coping with school and are labelled as ADHD or similar. When parents take these children out of school and change their diets they see a dramatic improvement in learning and social behaviour. I started modifying my diet over two decades ago, thinking that I was allergic or intolerant, but I now think it's the total stress load on my system, not simply diet or airborne particles, that give rise to the range of symptoms I experience. Adjusting the diet definitely offered relief, but was never the complete answer.

Salicylate intolerance is something I've played around with for decades. Some information I read a week or so ago basically said that there is increasing evidence that dietary salicylate is nowhere near the problem it was thought to be in NSAID intolerant people. Sorry I can't remember where as I've been doing heaps of researching on the net regarding health issues recently and this wasn't on topic so I didn't keep the reference. NSAID stands for non steriod anti inflammatory drugs; there's dozens of them, aspirin being the one that most people react to.

The main issue that many dieticians and immunologists have with a salicylate free diet (or one which is low in salicylate) is that it cuts out a lot of really good food, especially for children, and it becomes very hard to eat a fully balanced diet. This can produce it's own problems over time. My dietician recommended low allergy vitamin pills while on the low salicylate diet. I personally found that it wasn't the salicylate alone that caused my intolerances, but an inablitiy to adequately handle stress caused by many different factors - eating a diet loaded with salicylate over a couple of days exascerbated my problems and usually triggered asthma and other allergic symtoms. If I wasn't stressed physically or emotionally (eg from being cold, or a sudden change in temperature or barometric pressure, sitting an exam, visit to a new doctor, etc, or even simply hanging out with a group of friends) I could tolerate normal levels of salicylate in my diet.

I've been desensitised a couple of times (Royal Adelaide Hospital - the doctors mentioned in a previous post are all familiar with the desensitisations) - and that seemed to help settle the asthma and other obvious allergic symptoms. I think it helped, but lifestyle changes helped a LOT more. Ultimately I've found that I can eat almost anything - even foods high in salicylate - provided I manage my overall stress levels. This means low social activity, getting to bed before 10.30pm, exercise every day (usually only walking), avoiding stressful situations like deadlines, running late for appointments, etc. I watch intake of stimulants like caffeine. Anything that stresses the physical body in any way at all can trigger sensitivities to food and airborne particles...

For children with sensitivities to food or airborne particles (pollen, dust, mould, etc) I'd recommend closely monitoring their social activity as well what they eat, perhaps with a log similar to a food diary. My food diary included a space for comments about the weather, my moods, exercise, and social activity as well as what I was eating and which medications I took. This is how I discovered that it was the total stress load that was a better predictor of symtom severity than diet alone.

© Beverley Paine 2006

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I'm a haphazard recorder, even though I write reams every day. My hard drive is a mess, according to Thomas, who wonders how I can find anything and asks if I ever access even a fraction of what I've stashed away. I do. I have boxes and folders on my desk and on shelves in my office too. It's one of the things I want to change and simplify in my life!

What I found very useful was bouts of concentrated recording: a snapshot of our life in a two to four week period, three or four times a year. This was something I could do. Keeping detailed records every day was something that would quickly fall by the wayside as life simply got in the way! Plus, in the early years, I'd work with one learning plan and recording system for two-three weeks and then abandon it. We did a lot of 'contracts' in those days, with checklists and the like. It looked terribly structured (for those few weeks anyway) but in reality the children still played most of the day, or did chores, or became involved in what we were doing, etc. The difference between those weeks and the other weeks was that I recorded, in educational jargon and in a structured way, what was happening. Back then I was also in the habit of asking the kids to do a page or three from workbooks for an hour or so three or four times a week - it all helped to build my confidence that they were learning even when they didn't use their work books.

I chatted to a homeschooler whose preferred mode of learning had nothing to do with paper or writing and she really didn't want to keep records, plus she wanted her children to learn nestled within their culture - which wasn't one that embraced recording and writing. It was challenging coming up with ways to record the natural learning process. The best I could think of was visually - through art and film, with audio recordings. Much of their learning activities were of the kind that left no trace - no concrete 'evidence' that learning has occured. And it's true to say that most of the education in a home learning environment occurs through conversation and doing things together. I settled on the idea of taking snapshots of development over the year - at least four separate 'weeks' spaced widely apart, captured on video perhaps, like a tv documentary. Or a scrapbook, done in much the same way. There is nothing to say that our records of our children's progress can't be a creative endeavour or a labour of love.

The end point is always the same: when we make the effort to record and reflect on our children's learning we learn so much about them, about their learning styles and needs, and this allows our confidence as home educators to grow and helps us determine where to go next and how to help them achieve their goals in a sympathetic and effect manner.

© Beverley Paine 2006

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I know a lot of unschoolers don't bother with writing out unschooling learning programs or a curriculum for the year ahead and tend to 'fly by the seat of their pants'. Some see writing learning plans a bit alien to the concept of learning naturally, but I never found it so. I was always a little paranoid and not very sure that learning naturally would get my kids to where I wanted them to be. Thus I went down the path of documenting the learning process - both as plans and as evaluation/anecdotal records. I put together an unschooling curriculum for Roger when he turned 13 to cover the next three years (developmental stage rather than age based). It was a comprehensive list that incidentally covered learning in all eight school based curriculum areas, together with a statement on philosophy, methodology and how we'd know he was learning. About five pages all up.

I did a similar learning program for April as a homeschooled Year 8 student - feeling worried that I'd need to justify our homeschooling as by then our exemption had lapsed and I figured they'd notice she was turning 13... They didn't. The plan we put together was largely unused. We found more interesting ways to learn what was needed and by the end of the year only a few things on the original plan had been touched on in the way we'd planned. Planning was good though - especially at the beginning of the year - as it helped focus my thoughts on our goals and the reasons we were home educating again.

I used to read through our philosophy statements, etc, at least once a year, to help me remember what not to do, how not to teach, what was most important, and to let go of the need to emulate other homeschooling families' approaches/methods, or copy what the schools were doing. Reading through our self-designed curriculum helped to centre us.

© Beverley Paine 2006

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I often hear parents commenting that they don't want to 'waste time' on recording their children's learning. I'm not sure that they are aware that most of their worries about home education and the legal issues arise, for the most part, from a lack of confidence in learning naturally. I've only ever met one or two parents who felt so confident that they could convince anyone of the efficacy of the approach without resorting to refering to their records - and I wasn't one of them!

Recording - whether by the delightful approach that a snap happy friend of mine does, by keeping her digital camera handy all day, or by jotting notes in a diary, writing anecdotal or explanatory notes on children's samples of work and building a portfolio (a joy to flip through forever) - gets us in touch with the processes at work: how our children learn. Because we have to pay attention and watch closely and think about what is going on when our child does this or that, or says something different, or behaves in a different manner, and reflect on that, we are better able to discern his or her preferred learning style. This in turn helps us to work out different ways to build on his strengths, or strengthen her weaknesses or expand his limitations. Some of us do this naturally: I know I did but I also acknowledge that I was prone to forgetfulness. Eventually I decided to keep records more often to help my less than perfect memory. With three children I also frequently fell prey to treating them as homogenous humans, ignoring that fact that they were individuals and had completely different ways of perceiving and learning about the world!

In the end, if you don't want to comply with local regulations, then you are, in effect, protesting against them. This is an ethical stand that living in Australia allows. How you protest is up to you. I always go for a low key, least stressful approach as that is the way I'm built. Keeping records allowed me to build a confidence in my role as home educator to the point I could easily hold my ground in a roomful of teachers. Thomas (19) was never 'registered' as a home schooler yet we were never approached to register by departmental officials. I knew that if we were challenged I could prove, using evidence from our record keeping regime, that he was progressing in all areas of child development. Being prepared meant that if such a situation ever arose I wouldn't find myself panicked and forced into rash actions which I might later regret.

Record keeping - in any form - is also a very useful skill to demonstrate. It's the cornerstone of scientific advancement. Businesses wouldn't prosper without keeping records. There are many different ways to record a project - and educating our children at home is a project - and all of these ways have instrinsic educational value. If we stop seeing record keeping as an onerous burden and begin to view it as simply another useful tool in our educational tool bag it is no longer a waste of time and energy.

© Beverley Paine 2006

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I believe an abundant joyful life isn't about only freedom of choice... it's about responsibility. I'm wary of the word freedom, and the word choice. I think both can be really misleading. And easily corrupted. So we have responsibilities. We base our philosophy around meeting our survival needs as simply as possible (something we frequently fail to do as life becomes unnecessarily complex each day!) - surviving means learning how to be responsible both as individuals and as community members.

Freedom and choice seem more like luxuries to me... we can afford them when the basic responsibilities of life are met. Therefore they aren't that essential... so we don't aim for them. I find it eliminates a lot of the issues people seem to have with other. Abundance happens when we learn to go with the flow - allow nature (our natures) to guide us. When we trust in the natural way of being. Joy is taking a breath and thinking, wow, I'm taking a breath. Cool eh?!

There are so many things that determine our path - we are never really 'free' to follow our self-determined path in a conscious way. Our subconscious seems to be much more in control of where we're going and what we're going to bump into! Learning to read the patterns allows us to consciously see the amazing synchronicity.. then we can build our own wisdom. Sometimes our head leads us around in circles and we wonder why we can't have what we desire... We fail to trust ourselves.

I once read: "The access to the things you desire comes when you focus on JOY in your present moment with the knowing that all your desires are on the way."

That's just it - I don't focus on 'desires' - I focus on meeting needs, not desires. And defining needs in a very basic way. Life becomes meaningful and my purpose becomes clear. Finding clarity and getting rid of the all the gumph we humans have attached to being alive brings the joy. Simplying our lives allows us to see the amazing abundance. The path becomes clear - joyful - easy. Fulfilled desires fall into my lap - not because I pursue them, but because that's what happens when one moves with consciousness in life...

© Beverley Paine 2006

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Gregg Harris's article on Delight-Direct Study had me wondering if he and I read the same John Holt... His acceptance of delight driven learning as legitimate, especially for Christian homeschooling families, and his dismissal of unschooling, defined and encourgaged by the late John Holt, as something completely different, puzzled me.

John Holt helped me to see the way in which my conditioning as a schooled student hindered the educational growth and development of my children. His example, the one that I followed, and one that is historically the approach taken by those that study child development, is to observe and reflect. As a school teacher, John observed not only the way in which children didn't learn in school, and the ways that they did, but also his successes and failures as a teacher. First and foremost John was a school reformer. We all know how frustrating it is dealing with schools! At some point it's time to stop banging our heads against the wall and implement easier and energy efficient solutions. This is how John came to support and encourage homeschooling. After all, it is a method that has worked for millenia! Like others he could see that literacy rates, among other educational measures, had dropped considerably since the advent of mass compulsory schooling in the USA and continued to decline, despite the billions of dollars spent on 'improving' the school system.

The way Gregg Harris describes John Holt's 'hand's off' approach to education is a far cry from how I interpreted and put into practice the ideas John's words birthed in my head.

I can't remember reading anything in any of John's books (and I think I've read at least half a dozen over the last twenty years - about half, I reckon) that encourages parents to abandon their children throughout the learning/educational process. John (or a parent) was always in the picture in his descriptions of children learning. What John discovered was that learning for learning sake is incredibly inefficient and sometimes a sad waste of time of resources, as the lessons are usually often forgotten. John advocated interest based learning - led naturally by the learner, but within an environment that supported and encouraged the child. All of the examples in his book showed dedicated and committed, caring and attentive, loving parents.

We waste a lot of time in homeschooling land mucking about with definitions, and when all is said and done, the tendency to do this is based on our own too well schooled conditioning. The desire to tease things apart, analyse them, label them, schedule them, and make them fit into tidy boxes - that's what school did to us. Some of us are naturally organised of course, but one of the roles of school is to get us to all think this way so we can be productive little cogs in someone else's big machinery...

More information on Delight Driven education can be found on the Home Hearts website.

© Beverley Paine 2006

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The other night we played Rummikub, a game with tiles that are placed on the table. It seems to be a numerical cross between scrabble and the card game rummi. We had a great time once we got the hang of playing. With most new games we relax the rules until we've learned how to play. Playing games like this has always been more of a cooperative, friendly past-time rather than an emphasis on competitiveness.

Yesterday I woke up with a combined game and craft activity buzzing around my head. It's for younger children, but the craft activity could suit an older child. I called it Hickory Dickory A Clock & Counting Game.

When my children were young I loved making up games. Sometimes they'd pop into my head but most of the time I'd have a particular skill I wanted the children to learn and would create a game to suit. Games included ones like Hickory Dickory; dice, board or card games; role playing games; or games with toys. Playing games with my children was the easiest way to educate them!

If you have a game you like to play, or one that you've modified to suit your children, or one that you've made up and you'd like to share it with others on the Homeschool Australia website, please email me.

© Beverley Paine 2006

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A friend recently said, "It's okay for you to homeschool Beverley, you know what you are doing, but what about people who didn't finish school, who aren't so intellignet?"

I get this a lot and it bugs me. These people usually know me as I am today, not twenty years ago when I began homeschooling. They haven't been on the entire journey with us.

I don't think 'intelligence', or 'intelligent homeschooling' as a concept, is necessarily a prerequisite for homeschooling. I've met parents who haven't got a clue about how to educate their children and operate from a really basic position for the first year or so. They're refugees from the system, usually desperate and unwilling homeschoolers, but left without any other sane choice. These parents operate on one principle only in those early weeks and months: the need to protect their children. These are folks who haven't heard of attachment parenting or alternative educational approaches and philosophies. They just want their children to be able to learn to spell and calculate in an environment that respects their uniqueness... Over time, with support, these families discover that home educating educates them - in short, they begin to use their natural intelligence, long since atrophied, often thanks to the kind of school experiences they endured. Ultimately 'intelligent homeschooling' evolves, but it can take several years!

The best thing about homeschooling is that we're always learning: if something doesn't work we don't have any compelling reason not to dump it and try something else. Schools don't have this freedom. We're answerable to ourselves and our children. We don't have to implement methods or teach our children things they don't need to know simply because it's in the curriculum, or because the parent body think it's a good idea (educational fashions and fads abound in schools, and once they take hold they're hard to get rid of, even if it's obvious they don't work). Homeschoolers move much more quickly through the silly stuff and begin working with children on an individual basis, thus accelerating the learning process and making it more meaningful. Homeschooling is largely a self-correcting approach to education!

The other thing that all homeschoolers do, whether in a deliberate and conscious way like me, or simply because they come up against an problem and need to find solutions, is continually learn about the process of education. Because we're not teaching one age group every year, our understanding of how children learn and grow is constantly challenged - unlike school teachers. This keeps us on our feet. Collectively we've built up a considerable knowledge base and most of what we've learned over the last 30-40 years is now online on the internet. There are hundreds of thousands of pages dedicated to how children learn in just about any enviroment, from homes, to caravans, to boats, to tents, to classes... We're at the forefront of educational research - a living laboratory experiment. The world of school is beginning to sit up and take notice of our successes, while doing their level best to make us to conform to methods and ideas that have simply outlived their usefulness!

© Beverley Paine 2006

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Take a piece of paper and write on it, HAPPINESS, three times.

The first time, write it quite small, then the next bigger and the third the biggest of all.

Fold the piece of paper, put it in your pocket and forget all about it as you go on with the day's work.

Do it now - don't procrastinate!

This is a very simple, but powerful way, to remind your subconscious to focus on those thoughts and activities that create happiness. Little by little you will find your life becoming more joyful and your step a little lighter!

Several years ago I bought some bright yellow paper party plates with smiley faces. I hung them in every room, especially opposite entrances. It was always hard not to smile back!

© Beverley Paine 2006

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Learning to translate every day life activities into educational jargon was a turning point for me in understanding the nature of learning naturally. Before then I thought it was my role to provide a huge smorgasbord of activities and knowledge in the hope that my children would find something to excite or interest them. This led to 'burn out' and I felt like I was continually in danger of falling into the trap of edutainment - needing to make learning fun in order to capture their enthusiasm and keep attention high. I felt like an overworked teacher, but with only three children instead of thirty!

Burn out was actually good - it taught me that when I didn't do anything at all, because I was emotionally and intellectually drained, the children still learned an amazing amount, especially the things I considered core values and skills, the stuff around the house, like chores, taking care of each other, looking after pets, etc. I realised that when they initiated activities I didn't need to be involved much at all, except in a peripheral way, hovering in the background, mainly gathering and supplying resources. I spent a lot of time sorting LEGO bricks to enable them to quickly build fantastic models and layouts!

I discovered children are like sponges. When kept wet they don't seem to mop up much at all, but leave them alone and when a puddle happens they soak up so much. I realised that my job was to stop interfering and intervening so much and got rid of the hot-house, smorgasbord approach to education. Let them get on with the business of learning. Our house is an amazingly interesting place, largely because Robin and I are reasonably interesting people with consumate passions of our own. This is what the children needed - a background buzz of productive activityin an atmosphere that celebrated learning.

There are many things we wanted our children to learn. I think it is within the scope of the 'Natural Learning' approach to bring resources and activities in our children's life that they would otherwise not come across or think of by themselves. I'm sure that children would never clean their teeth if we did not insist! It's the same with teaching children how to do simple sums on paper, in order for them to be able to do more complicated sums, should the need ever arrive. First the children watch us clean our teeth meticulously every night, or listen as we calculate simple sums aloud whenever we have the need. Then we invite them to have a go, an an appropriate age for the development (eg being able to get that brush into their mouths with their chubby arms, or gradually introducing simple questions such as "how many people want juice? One, two, three. Can you get three cups please." And so on as the child grows.

It's easy to come up with examples for tots because most of us are really attuned to what and how they are learning at this age! The trick is to begin to think like this again for our older children.

© Beverley Paine 2006

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After reading a post on the Homeschool Australia Frequently Asked Questions email support group I began wondering: what 'how to homeschool' books do we all consider essential reading - books that have enlightened, encouraged and reassured us, that have given us invaluable tips that saved time and worry, or books that changed the way we think about education and made the task of explaining our choices to others much easier.

When April was four years of age (in the mid 80s) I read John Holt's How Children Learn and How Children Fail and that set the tone and direction of my thinking on the education process. Before that I dogeared a copy of Your Baby and Child, a classic parenting book by Penelope Leach, so perhaps my thoughts were already on that path and I was primed to accept his ideas. Holt's writing style is anecdotal - he reflects on his observations so that gives his books authenticity - he talks about what he experiences first hand. Letters from homeschooling parents and friends about their experiences help to illustrate his ideas. Although the basic ideas were fairly challenging back then because of the way I'd been schooled to believe in schools and teaching, I found echoes in my own experience, both as a child, teenager, adult and parent. I think John Holt helped me to look at my experiences in a different way and to draw different conclusions. It is this widening of my awareness that I'm still grateful for two decades later.

After a couple of years of homeschooling I read a book by Mario Pagnini, a homeschooling dad. He had a list of 'qualifications' to home educate in the early chapters, one which read "You must like your child." Everyone loves their child, but homeschooling requires that you like your child, that you want to be with them all day, every day. That made me realise that it's perfectly normal to not like our own children. Later I read a uni text book on child development and found out about temperamental mismatch and the havoc it can cause in family relationships. Mario's book curbed my enthusiasm to convert everyone I came across to the cause of homeschooling!

Better Late Than Early, a classic by Raymond and Dorothy Moore, early homeschooling pioneers, is a book that has given much reassurance to many families, particular those whose children seem to be reluctant to start intellectual study by age five...

There were so few books about home education when we began and now there are thousands! Many, like my own Getting Started with Homeschool book focus on the practical aspects. Of this kind I think Ann Lahrson Fisher's The Fundamentals of Homeschooling is the most thorough and could sit on the shelf alongside books that promote any method of homeschooling such as Classical, Montessori, Charlotte Mason or Steiner. Then there are books that combine the basics with an approach such as unschooling or eclectic and using unit studies and learning centres by authors such as Anna Kealoha, Gareth Lewis as well as the books produced by Linda Dobson's Prima Publishing's Homeschooling series. I've only read a handful of Charlotte Mason inspired homeschooling books and love the emphasis on developing habits and routines, and the way in which they honour the nature of childhood, placing children at the centre of the learning process but without the focus on individualism that can occur with other approaches. Then there are books that focus solely on a particular homeschooling approach such as Steiner or Classical education.

Wouldn't it be great to have a list of 'classics' or must read books - half a dozen gems - that we could recommend to families interested in homeschooling?

I'd want to include at least one book that considers the political nature of homeschooling and schooling: John Taylor Gatto's Dumbing Us Down is a classic, and it's less US focussed than his epic The Underground History of American Schooling, but I personally prefer Canadian homeschooling pioneer and advocate Wendy Preisnitz's compact and succinct