I know you've been through a lot and you seem to have become very defensive because of it. This will all blow over. Everyone has their day where they say something out of line and are pulled back in line by others in a more rational frame of mind. I still hang my head a bit when I think of my first online outburst.

My advice would be to take some time away from the screen and reflect a little on how you are feeling and how this all affects you and maybe take something positive from it. Use it to create a better you, so instead of being picked on and defeated, you become a better, stronger person.

It will all blow over hun.  We just all have to learn to be a little more sensitive with our comments, me included.

It has nothing to do with being a bitch.  You are opinionated, as we all are, and not afraid to share them.  I'm the same.

I know that this blog has not been my finest, but it was interesting to see what responses I got back.  Just didn't expect so many!

Well thats me arna iv been abused, and iv been gagged all of my younger days, and now im strong, i dont hold bk, but as i said as far as im concerned, on minti iv been the outcast, iv been abused by bitchy remarks, and the rest , i dont need this, and please dont anyone call me a liar, as in the past, the whole thing is making me sick, iv never reported anyone, no matter what remarks they have made to me, iv never been nasty, and yet i sit here an get kicked in the teeth everytime? not nice

sweety the problem is alot of people here have been abused. i am not going to name people cause thats not nice, but some people have been to hell and back and dont leave comments like you did. you just need to be a little more tackfull in your responses. I have to sit there for a while and think about what i write.

I really do think you should write an article on abuse and point out how we as parents can tell if our child is being abused. I know i would love to read it.

definately dont change for people, no one should, but just be more thoughfull to others feelings.

Well written Liz..

Whome (whom ever you are), as we are all aware, you suffered dreadful physical abuse, and will always suffer from it.  However, there are many other people on the site who have also been victims of horrific situations.

Speaking out and saying what is in your mind is admirable, however doing so at the expense of others is rude and intolerable.  If you expect respect, empathy or understanding from other members of the site, it is high time you gave a little back by being more considerate when you comment.

well that was a choped up kitty sorry... here is a whole one

 ^___^
(=^.^=)
(_U_U_)=

You chopped the first one into itsy bitsy pieces!  lol.  I suppose she was one of those that you have to unpack and put together, much like the Yowies. lol.

She wrote that meaning that she wasn't going to get in a debate about it.  I think. lol.

It has actually ended up providing me with some entertainment, especially when some of the comments are now out of order! lol.

but a commment like "im out" isnt helpfull or usefull and states in the code of coduct that it is breach i agree with liz if it had been worded different things would have turned out different

I was still adding comments myself when it all happened, so I did see it all.  What got  me was that when whome wrote what she did, the responses she got were just as bad.  I know it was late/early and we were all tired, but everyone has to work together and be tolerant.  A minti mail to tell her, nicely, that the comment was perhaps not worded very well, would have been better than what happened.

I'm not taking sides, I just don't like seeing this site hurting.  Guess I should become a professional mediator.

Sorry Arna, but respect for the site and the people using it was the issue. Mediation is trying to allow each party to be respectfull towards each other. The original comment was not an answer, it was a statement, it added nothing to the question, and was inflamitory and disrespectful to minti and the questioner. In mediation one has to remove the issue from the problem and take it to neutral territory, that is what happend by reporting the issue. Sorry you find difficulty in seeing that. I agree that the situation caused rebuffs that would have been better not, being added, but that is what happens when people forget to take time to think through the consequenses of their actions. Minti only hurts when respect is not forthcoming.

Luv, Winnie.xx

Slow down hun!  Look at it from all sides, her opinion, while not worded as well as it could have been, was still valid, and I think a good point.  She could have expanded on it, like saying to get someone else to call the police so it protects her too.

I wasn't taking sides, I was just making a point that we all need to stop and think a little more before responding to what we are reading.

If we don't, we are all going to end up in quarantine (damn it, spelling?).

Hun, I am looking at it from all sides. I am also looking at what was done and not what might have been. The inflamitory question  and the one that caused bristles was to quote " What the? I dont need to read this a 2 year old getting spanked? im out". That was the one that caused the escalation and inflamed, it also broke the rules of respect. Once that had been writen it inflamed from then on. That was the one Whome caused offence over and that was the one that she was warned on. I do look at things from all sides, I also try to put myself in the questioners shoes and to think about the consequences of my comments. What people might or might not have done is irrelevent to what actually happend in my view.

Luv, Winnie.xxxx

Yes, that's exactly the sentence that I am referring to which you may have missed Arna.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, however we must exercise respect and tact.

she was minti mailed and i poiltely asked if she was so passionate she should right advice as i believed it would be valuable for other members but she declined.

I didn't realise that.  Noone told me!  Now I look the fool! lol.  I suppose that's situation normal for me!

Hi

Actually she was emailed by more than one person that i know of.

Asked to calm down and be objective

She like a lot of us is very hot headed when it comes to certain things but thats life in the real world too

Eventually it all died down like most things to jsut with a lot fo stuff reported which inflamed the situation a bit but all is good now i think. 

Until the next thing we can all add our opinion too lol

And it brightened up the slow moving activity page

Just remember you are entitled to your own opinion as long as it agrres with mine hahahahaha

Luv Deb

And you can have yours as long as it is the same as mine! lol.

OMG, I just realised your avatar is a dog dressed up! lol  I think I'm still on the slow side at the moment!

no you dont i dont think i mentioned it so not your fault

we can blame this one on me lol

Blame the lack of sleep!  lol.

We do have the right to have our own opinions, and that has been my whole point.  Why is one members opinion any less valid than anothers.

I dont think anyone should keep quite. say what you want and how you want, free speach thats me, no offense but true

Sometimes when you dont agree its better of just walking away rather than standing your ground, it will end up a shit fight and we all dont want that!  It takes an adult no a strong person to walk away ans respect others opinion. Just my thoughts anyway!

Hugs Tee

But, if you don't agree with someone, then why is that opinion or view point less valid? 

Sorry, but this is turning into quite an academic debate, and I am starting do enjoy it! lol.  Using my brain for what it is meant to be used for.

I agree, but sometimes, we need to step back a little, think about what we are seeing and then write our responses.  I think everyone is guilty of not doing that, even me.

Doesn't freedom carry responsibility with it? If every person had the freedom to do what they wanted, when they wanted, with no sense of responsibility or temperance, wouldn't we just end up with a shambles?

Freedom does carry responsibility.  We all had the duty to think before we responded, and I think some of us jumped in a little too quickly.

I very much agree with you. But, in saying that, I think whome jumped in too quickly too.

It wasn't a matter of her not being allowed to share her opinion. It was the manner in which it was done. That's not to say that she is not the only one.

I think that is called Anarchy!!

No, that's living in my house! lol.  Chaos rulz 'ere! I reckon if you looked it up in the Wikepedia, it would say

Anarchy:

Living in the Scammell household for more than 5 mins. 

I second that!

LOL.  Reading that after I put my response in, it reads that you know what my family is like! 

hehe

Smooth, real smooth!  I like how you have avoided the debate.  Just goes to show that you are too smart to get stuck in my webs! lol.

Nah just can't be fudged with bun fights! Not involved and staying that way.

Too busy anyway planning Grubs birthday and getting ready to go back to tafe next week.

Have a great weekend!!!

I agree but i shall not bk down no offence

I don't think either is better, i'm just saying we don't know the FULL circumstances of the question and this may have been a very first baby step for this person.

Why should i put it in my blog? she asked, i gave, and yes in a harsh way but sometimes people need this push, no good being soft with abuse

But being nonjudgemental goes all ways.  We have to accept that other peoples way of dealing with situations are different, and work for them.  An opinion was given, that is just as valid as the rest of us, and I don't think the comment was wrong at all.  Sometimes the only way to get help is to call the police.  It might make him see what he is doing is unacceptable.

i agree with arna and would like to add that comments can be interpreted many ways, esp short ones.  we as humans see what we want to see through our own life experiences and in the way we express ourselves.  whome might have meant '' get your fat ass of that chair and call the police'' or ''please i beg you get off the computer and call the police im scarced for that child'' and a million things inbetween. the point is she made a blanket statement and for that she should not be reported on the grounds we take offence because we put our own slant on comments....please lets not try to guess where the commentator is coming from were all different due to culture and language skills esp when only short comments are made

now this would be great if the lady asking for help read this.taht is so rude. She was only asking for help,at least she is doing something about it and not letting it happen anymore.Like she said her husband DID NOT have a father figure so how ud he know hoe to disipline,he wud follow his father ways thinking this is the only way and the correct way.wat was written to her was wrong and shud not have hapened.

Hun, respect should be mutual, and the whole thing went pear shaped very quickly.  All opinions given were valid, some could have been written a little differently.

When we read, we see the meaning that our brains want to see, not always the meaning of the writer.  Because of this, our responses can be misleading too.  That is why all school work should be read 3-5 times before starting! lol.

There doesn't seem to have been any damage to the asker, she has posted again that they are getting help.  I bet she is sitting back and going 'OMG, I started that!' lol.

 Minti code of honour.

1. Above all else, respect others. If you see disrespectful behavior, report it, rather than further inflaming the situation.
2. Before you write, rank, tag or comment, ask yourself if your contribution increases the strength and virtue of the community.

People reported  the comments as they felt they were in breach of minti code of honour. The original comment was thought to breached the code, and those that followed on, were not enhancing the strength and virtue of the community. That is why the situation was reported.

Please lets not put ourselves in a position where people have to guess what we are saying, it does not enhance our stance, or answer the question. If we have an answer to share, we should share according to the code of conduct. If we dont have a clear concise answer, then perhaps we should take a moment to gather our thoughts.

Luv, Winnie.

WOO HOO Winnie!  Respect.  That is something that was left out of Whome's comments. 

I was floored when I read what the mother was writing.  I was thinking holy cow, of course it is abuse.  And thinking, get the hell out of there for the safety of you and your poor child.  But I would never be disrespectful of this woman.  No one knows her situation.  She came here seeking help and what did she get...abused again. 

Whome's comments were put to the Minti community and the majority found them in breach, disrespectful and flaming.  Whome needs to have a little more restraint when commenting.  There is no reason she can't be honest even if it will upset someone, but she can do so in a nonconfrontational way.  If she continues to choose to behave and comment in the same way she has been, her comments will be reported, and eventually, she will too.

yes but i still feel the way she was saying so was out of order you can at least be nivce in this kind of situation instead of being so rude to this poor woman really i feel for her yes i agree she should go to the police but why not put i think you should go to the police instead of bneing so damn nasty i think if you can be nice why bother but thats me the last few weeks seems all there is to this site is bitching and funny enough from the same person i was abused too as you know but i didn tt leave her any judgemental comments to make her feel any worse than she already was for her to write that Q she must have been desperate

From the same person? wheres the evidence? im not bitching far from it im giving my oppinion. you gave yours i gave mine, i accepted yours you accept mine, i breached so be happy

I can understand that, but other members need to be a little more accepting of everyones opinions, and quite frankly, I have to agree that calling the police is a good idea, especially if it makes the father get the help that he needs.

agree Arna, I mean the question was answered, yes she thinks it is abuse. Advice was given, call and get help!

I hope the annomonous person does seek help and especially after she sees how everyone has responded and how convicted some feel about this!

just thought id say im sticking to my guns, like it or not, im entitled like the rest to say what i want, if anyone wants to report comments, fine it was worth it

Whome, no one is asking you not to speak your mind.  There are just different ways to go about it.  You seem to be the in your face brutal responder.  You can be honest and passionate, but be tactful. 

I couldnt agree more, if we all thought a little more about the way we said things and read things without judging first we'd all get along alot better, easier said than done when a childs involved in something so serious.

A child being at stake is even more reason for us to be tolerant of each other.  She isn't going to want to see the tantys of the rest of us while she is going through all this.

None of us needs to have our brains twisted when on here, we all get enough of that in the real world.

thats truex

I try to speak only what is truth, except when I'm trying to keep the girls from knowing that Daddy has gone shopping! lol.

Well i read it all, and i vote, and never vote people down, its not in me to do that and if i have an oppinion i give it, not always wellcome, but im not offended

Sometimes, others  don't see our point of view and can be offended easily because of it.  We just have to understand that everyone is different and try to be sensitive to all.  I've offended members before too, and when I realised, I apologised immediately, and where it can be read by the whole world.

I am trying to keep nuetral, but I have noticed that your opinions seem to get a real wrapp over the knuckles, but I can't see why.  Ok, not with this last lot of rubbish any way.

I'm just sick of there being one lot of rules for some members and another for the rest.  If I want to watch a full blown cat fight, I can just give the girls one toy they all want, and tell them to share! lol.

Thankyou arna i only say what i think, and yes i agree its true about rules, but im not offended if people report my comments, i just care for welfare of innocent kids

I can understand that, we all care about the welfare of kids.  I was the same age as this boy when I was put up for adoption, and have a mental illness because of the abuse I suffered at the hands of my step father.  Actually, I have a part of my brain that is damaged and prevents other parts working properly, so I know how it feels.

We all need to think before we respond to things though, in case it comes out all wrong.  Foot and mouth disease, here we all come! lol.

lol like the foot and mouth bit, and my hearts with your abuse its so sad,xx

Whome, having been in the situation that you have you could have so much great, supportive and helpful advice to offer people.  It'd be great if you could put it across in a non-confronting way.....i know you say you are truthful, blunt etc but there are ways to be sensitive.

I'm not trying to pick on you i just feel that your potential is being wasted.

I'm a survivor, and I understand that my mum was young and under a lot of pressure, so I can't be angry with them.