My computer is still playing up but I have all day to play around on it I guess as I am only working 3 days a week now. So much nicer. I got my appointment from the hospital to get my biopsy done for the end of October. They mustn't feel that it is too urgent if they can leave it that long but now I just need to push it to the back of my head and concentrate on other things. I am not in a lot of pain at least. I wouldn't have even known about it if I didn't go in for my regular pap test.

Had a good weekend. The boys played basketball then of course Kiza still working on his car and Nik went to friends so had another night off to go out with James and a couple of his brothers this time. On Saturday night we went to the movies and watched Die Hard 4. If you haven't seen it I have to say that it was good. Food for thought but won't give it away. Typical action stuff though, you know you can get shot at and run over and so much more and still get back up to fight. Makes me laugh. Hope everyone else is having a good week. Just getting some housework done today before the house needs to be demolished. Ha ha.

Just a quick blog. Had a great night last night. Went out to the casino with James and watched a band. Had a flutter on the roulette. Came out $10 down though but we had fun. Came back to watch the next set and everyone was getting more merry so good excuse to get up on the dance floor. James had bought me a beautiful white gold bracelet to match the necklace and earings that he has bought me before. So I feel like a pretty lucky girl lately. No work today so I have finally cleaned out the car and got the washing up to date but because of the lack of sleep the past few nights I will hopefully sleep well tonight.

I would like to say thank you to the lovely people sending me the poems that are going around. However when they say send them to 16 people if they knew how slow my little pc here goes, they would understand. Got it to one person. Ha ha I am trying to sort out with big pond why it is dropping out all the time. Keeps going server not found. Have to turn off modem then reset then wait til comes back on. Ready to throw it against the wall.

Well today is my birthday. Have had a quiet one. Mum and dad popped in for a coffee. My brother even rang me on his smoko break. We probably only find the time to ring on those occasions and get together chrissy and we live in the same city! Shameful really. He did say he was going to try to make some time in the next couple of weeks to catch up. YAY.

I took the kids to Rockingham on the weekend anyway to visit the parents. Mark went into the water and dug himself into a big hole at the beach. He was still doing the little kid stuff. The older boys were playing basketball on the little court. Mum Mark and I came up to verse them in a game, which of course we lost but we had fun. Then we went back to her place and dad had to give Mark some of his clothes and we played trivial pursuit til midnight. We left early in the morning. Kieron had work to do on his car so we ran around and got him the parts then took the 2 younger boys to the internet cafe to play games and I went on the internet. Only $2 an hour and the computers run heaps fast and the boys get a computer each instead of fighting over turns here. I called James and he came down with his kids for a while then we got Kiza and all headed to Hungry Jacks before it was time to take all the kids to there homes. Ha ha. Good weekend all up.

Just got back from the doctors again and not much has changed really so I am going to the specialist to get a biopsy to rule out any nasties hopefuuly. She asked me to take someone though for support in case I get bad news I guess so will have to ring my mum up later.

I have been feeling a bit better generally although nothing has really changed. I felt myself getting depressed last week and although I feel I do have time for myself and get to go out and do things nice with my partner when I get home and the kids come back from there dads or elsewhere the problems are still here. I took to taking the door handle off my sons room last night as I thought I could smell that he had been smoking in there as he had a friend over in the arvo. He can't be trusted with any privacy cause he abuses it time and again and now I find he is lieing also. What to do? He hasn't gone to school today cause I got the text so they are off again and tonight I will be looking for him again. I know he is smoking stuff now so will have to call in back-up. I really want my ex to have him but he wont be in it so I have to get tough myself. Any good help groups would be appreciated. I know they have tough love groups over east and just wish they would bring it over here. The school is good but it is taking a long time to get to my son as he is withdrawing and of course he was lieing so when he says he is going to participate it doesn't last for long. He has screwed up for far too long. But anyway that is my problem to deal with.

Has been a busy month but much of the same. Every day blends into the next with little time as usual. I went for my second ultra sound and the results weren't so good so have to go back to the doctor, they just rang today as it has got bigger. Don't know what that means except no good worrying about what I can't change so will take it appointment by appointment.
My son is still playing up, hardly going to school and cause he is not working tonight he took off with some mates and don't know where he is so that is driving me crazy.Totally lost control. Don't know what to do with myself now but will have to ring around for him. Know where he will be anyhow though. Got to work the strength up to go around and get him as it is very draining.Want to give up like you don't believe.
The computer is going so slow tonight.