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 Member » BabyorBust » Blog » Welcome to Baby or Bust!
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Hi there!
We're Shelton & Brandi Koskie. The long and short of it is that we've been trying to get pregnant for a little over two years. And while we were sure we were doing it right, we decided to visit our doctor about six months ago- in December 2005.
After a lot of time with many doctors we learned in April that our only choice is through In Vitro Fertlization (IVF).
We were given an estimate for this procedure a little over $15,000 and told to allow for up to $20,000. And we don't really have that kind of dough lying around.
We also started doing research to learn what other couples had to say about their experiences with IVF- but could find very, very little. Everything we found was so textbook.
So we put our heads together and with the generous assistance of some very good friends, we started the Web site www.babyorbust.com.
If we can get 20,000 people to visit the site and each donate $1- then we'll be able to have our first baby. And, we're going to keep a blog so that we can journal every detail of our experience. Hopefully, other couples will find this to be a valuable resource.
Please help us by sharing our site with as many people as you can. |
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March of Dimes
I myself have mixed feelings about all this.
I can definitely understand where you are coming from - we have been trying to conceive for almost a year and have recently kicked our efforts up a notch (we're paying more attention to the science, people, for all of you snickering out there  .) We are also a little past our baby-making prime so that is a concern as is the money issue: both of us work over 40 hours a week as it is, and here you don't get paid for maternity leave, so I am trying to save up 3-4 month's salary as well as my bit of the medical costs and we have 8 years of college support for my 2 stepdaughters staring us in the face starting now. But, we are just gritting our teeth and making due. You're right. It's that important.
Still, I don't disagree with some of the criticisms placed out there, although I don't feel like you are responsible for all the evil in the world for wanting money to help with starting your family. Keep in mind that taking care of the child works out to be much more expensive than even the IVF, what with food, clothes, doctors visits and so on (braces: $4000 right there). I think also there is a general resentment to capable people asking for charity unless all other options have been exhausted. I think the guy on the street corner with the cardboard sign listening to the MP3 player must get less support than the one with the bag of oranges, especially if the people he's asking can't afford MP3 players themselves.
All this must be taking its toll stresswise on you as well. Not conducive to conception. IVF or not. I know I personally don't respond very well to abusive language. Maybe some of this could be mediated by putting a link on your site to another related charitable organization as well like The Gabriel Project or March of Dimes.
Passed along from friends who have adopted: even though you have a lot on your plate right now, if you are thinking of adopting in the future, you may want to start researching now. It is often a long road and I know quite a few infertile couples who have miraculously gotten pregnant within a year after they have adopted a baby. I have no idea why.
Good luck with the child, however things work out. Remember, nature has a way of surprising you.
PS- do wish people would be a little less accusatory on the site. Disagreements can be handled without abusive language. If someone feels very strongly on a topic, it would be nice if they would please take a minute and then state their argument clearly and openly. Probably more effective too.
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Selfish
Again, these are all things purchased prior to our knowledge of the situation. We could sell our blanket on e-bay, but would we get enough money to buy a replacement? Our parents paid for our wedding, as is the case with most couples. We have but one home and if you must know it was well under six figures. Two bedrooms. One bath. But we'd like to work on the finishing the attic someday. The Mac was purchased with student loan money and was needed for a girl in pursuit of an advertising degree.
We don't live a "privileged" life by any means. I don't think we are poor either. We are average, middle class people starting out the way most couples do. The difference is that we have been presented with a debt we must take on in order to try and have a child. We thought of a creative way to handle the challenge: tell the story, link to helpful sites, make it possible for people to help us by donating.
And no, I don't feel ashamed. I'm proud of my wife for having such a good idea. I remember thinking that our children were going to have to take on the same student loans that we pay every month. I think it's natural for every parent (or parent-to-be) to want the best for their kids and I don't want our children to have to pay for their tuition. I'd like to be able to save enough over the next twenty years to cover that cost for them. That was one of the driving reasons for me. I didn't want to spend their college money to bring them into this world.
The week before we found out about all of this we had purchased a dining room table. We had every intention of buying chairs but we decided not to in light of this discovery. We've borrowed two chairs from relatives but anybody who comes by must sit on the couch. It's one of a hundred sacrifices we've made. We were going to buy a dishwasher since we don't have one. Nope. We had a vacation to Boston all planned out, our first trip since the honeymoon. Canceled. We can't go see her brother get married because it's out of state and out of budget.
I try not to get too defensive and react to every criticism but you certainly made some valid points they deserved addressing. If after all of this you still don't agree, I'm sorry. We are going to try and create a family. We are going to do it our way, with God and love and hope in our hearts. You are certainly under no obligation to support us in our endeavors.
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Lower Cost IVF
Hello Brandi and Shelton My name is Jacquie and I would like to share my recent experience with you.
I have been trying to get pregnant for close to 6 years and have also been unsuccessful. I have also spent thousands of dollars for some of the newest technology but to no avail.
One day I was doing some research on the internet and came across a site that spoke of a well known Indian Physician by the name of Dr Malpani. I conversed with him over several months and also researched the technology of Indian fertilization techniques and cost. To my suprise, I found that the cost to travel, stay, complete IVF, and pay for meds was over HALF as cheap as it was to do here in the states! The cost is so much cheaper and there are not the same "laws" for IVF as we have here in the states.
My partner and I had 12 eggs removed and 6 of them fertilized. Of those 6 eggs, 4 were pliable enough for implantation. We had a successful treatment!
Please let me know if you would like more information about Dr Malpani and his practice. MY email is MsJax2u@cox.net.
Good luck
Jacquie
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