I got a phone call this morning from my dad saying my mum was put in hospital last night with a suspected blood clot…

I’m really worried. I wish we were closer… I kept telling her to move - only half joking. I mean,
I want Ellie to be able to see my family often and now this…

I’ve been slack in writing in here, but then I’m not sure anyone reads it anyway.

Ellie’s doing great. Today is the first time she’s slept for more than half an hour in the day! So
exciting going to bed during the day and night is going so much better, too.

Yesterday she reached the three month mark. She’s looking sooo old and she’s got such a cheeky
personality.

We’re on the midst of planning all our Christmas pressies, I am so excited about some of them!!
We plan to go to Bathurst on the 15th of December for the weekend to have an early Christmas
with my family and my dad’s parents. I’m thrilled to have a date, I can’t wait for my brother and grandparents to finally see Ellie for the first time.

I should go and do something while Ellie’s asleep. Before I go, I have been directed to
www.freerice.com by a friend. It’s a site where you are given a word and you guess what that word means, for every word you get right they donate 10 grains of rice through the UN. IF you have some spare time why not got check it out!

Ellie rolled from her belly to her back today - TWICE!

We were playing in her room when she caught sight of her toys off to the side, which were much more interesting than Mummy and her silly noises, thankyou very much! She started wriggling and trying to get to them, she was kind of moving around rather than foward, then suddenly over she went!!

I put her back where she was for her to do it again and she started her wriggling and
grunting in concentration. It was taking some time, she was getting frustrated and whingy
and I was about to pick her up when she did it again, this time I got it on video to show Daddy!!

I’m so proud of her. It seems I am going to her Milestones page every other day to highlight
something new. I can’t believe how much she’s doing. In the last week or so she’s really started to
get interested in her toys, too. It’s too cute to watch her squeezing them, talking to them and looking lovingly at them.

It’s amazing to look at her and see her taking everything in. James and I are becoming more aware of what we’re doing and how we’re doing it because we can tell she’s picking up so much from us and her surroundings. At least she’ll be into cooking and cleaning - she always ‘helps’ me with dinner and making the beds

The Brauer’s Colic Relief we bought has been great - I know just how well it was working now
that we’ve run out and are still waiting on the replacement to come… We’re back to having trouble settling her at night and in the day she’ll only sleep for a decent amount of time if I am holding her whereas I was able to put her in her cot for all her sleeps once we’d started on the medicine and she was much easier to settle. She’s not nearly as bad as she was  a few weeks ago and hopefully our package will arrive before
we get to that.

Anyway, I have finally got her to sleep without having to hold her so I am going to have some lunch, I am sooo hungry.

Oh, before I go, I have put in a Guestbook, I’d love to know who out there is reading here, what you think, if you find my blog interesting and if you have anything you’d like me to address in future entries.

How time is flying, I was looking through some photos of when Ellie was born and she was sooo tiny! Now she’s such a big girl, she’s filled out her clothes nicely and is ready to be on the move! She loves to stand and sit with our help and has great head control. I watch her when she’s having her tummy time and she really looks like she wants to crawl so bad. I love watching her develop and can’t wait for her to crawl - though once she is I am sure I will be wishing for her to stay still!!

We had a shocker of a night last night, possibly because she came down with a gunky eye yesterday. Today it’s looking heaps better and she’s having a nice long nap.

The medicine we got her, Brauer Colic Relief, seems to be doing a good job. She does get a little windy sometimes but she hasn’t had another crying episode like she had at the worst of it.

I can’t really remember what life was like before Ellie, it’s like she’s been a part of everything forever. I knew I would love her and think she was beautiful but nothing can really prepare you for how much you really do love a baby, I don’t think I have ever seen anything as beautiful as my daughter. I’m sure all parents feel like this, but my girl’s the prettiest

I sometimes wonder if you can love a second child as much as your first. I am sure you can, but when I look at Ellie I am so filled with love, joy and pride I can’t really imagine how you can feel all that again. Do people feel guilty when they have a second baby? Guilty that they’re not going to have as much time with the first as you have been having? Guilty that the second won’t get the same attention the first one did?  That’s what I worry about when it comes to having a second. Especially since we hope to have them close together. I don’t want Ellie or her brother or sister to miss out on attention or love.

Anyway, I should be doing something else while she’s still asleep.

Ellie’s having a nice sleep at the moment, she went to bed without a hassle and put herself to sleep. Last night she slept from 8.30pm to 3am I am a happy mum. She’s really doing well. After our horrible Colic experience a little over a week ago we bought some more natural medicine and it seems to be doing the job. After I fed her at 3 this morning she was a little windy, it was keeping her awake but not giving her pain and she was laying in her cot just talking to herself so I went and laid down while she was happy. It was so cute, she was in there laughing and talking away.

This morning we put her on a blanket on the floor while we had breakfast and she entertained
herself, which is such a change, she used to cry and cry anytime I tried to eat. I cleaned the
kitchen while she chatted away to herself.

It’s funny, I have only just realised as I’ve written this that things really have gotten so much better and easier.

Well, she’s awake so this will be a short update :)

I have just added a milestones page for Ellie, which I will update as we go along. I get so proud of the little things she can do. At the moment I am really enjoying the little ‘conversations’ she has with me and she loves them, too, she thinks she’s very smart

She has been asleep for almost 5 hours now, it’s annoying that she’s doing it in the day, but I don’t want to wake her because she hasn’t been sleeping all that well since getting sick. I keep having to check she’s breathing, though.

Well, I am off to utilise more of this time by hanging more washing.

Last week I took Ellie to the doctor for our 6 week checkup and I was told to try Gaviscon Infant for her reflux, so I bought it and started trying it but since then we’ve had a nightmare time. Her bad wind has returned and when she eventually poos they are monster!

We’ve gone from her waking three times at night for a feed and going straight back to sleep or needing a quick settle afterwards to spending anywhere from 40 minutes to get her settled and staying asleep in her cot. And it’s started for her day sleeps, too. All the settling techniques I try don’t seem to work… she even cries while I am patting her and soothing her in her cot, which she hasn’t really done before, at least not to this extent. It took me over an hour to get her to sleep today and then it lasted only 20 minutes. So, now she’s in her pram - fast asleep - and I am rocking her, which is the last thing I want to be doing but it’s the only way she will sleep soundly at the moment. I was hoping to start her settling herself to sleep every sleep, so that it’s a nice transition for her without crying and distress and here I am …

The past two nights have been really tough, I have ended up in tears both times. It’s been frustrating and upsetting, especially when I am unable to sleep in the day because I have to be physically rocking her for her to sleep. To top it off I have been feeling sick for the last two days. I feel like a zombie.

There are so many ideas out there about babies sleeping and settling.  To routine, not to routine. Let them cry, don’t let them cry. The amount of advise is overwhelming and each side has a convincing argument, not to mention being adament that they are right. For a new parent it really is hard to wade through all the options.

I don’t want to use Control Crying, though yesterday I was all set to borrow ‘Save Our Sleep’ by Tizzy Hall, which is a Cry It Out technique from what I have heard/read, I was feeling so desperate. Luckily, the library wasn’t actually open. So, I have to find another viable option for Ellie, James and I. Today I am doing some searches, some research and tomorrow I am going to go to the library and get some books - assuming they have what I want.  From my searching so far I have decided to read;

* ‘Sweet Dreams’ by Dr Paul Fleiss
* ‘Attachment Parenting’ by Kate Allison Granju
* ‘Nighttime Parenting’ by Dr Sears
* ‘No Cry Sleep Solution’ by Elizabeth Pantley

I’m hoping at least one of these titles will be there. I have also written a post on one of the forums I visit and people have suggested Baby Wearing, apparently it is really good for babies with reflux not to mention the fact that I could get something done while allowing Ellie to sleep well. I will have to talk to James about it when he gets home. I’ve decided to arm myself with as much knowledge as possible and create something that works for our little family.

I keep thinking “It’ll be better for the next baby” because we will be much more prepared and better informed, which makes me feel confident that we will cope with two children, at the same time I feel bad for Ellie having to be our ‘practice’ run. But, I guess somebody had to be. If only we could have all the answers, have all the experiences before we had our children!

It’s so quiet now! I’ve just had a visit from Nan, Aunty Meredith, Lauren, Gemma and Cam. Ellie had a good sleep in Nan’s lap and had her first feed from a bottle and did so well, I was worried she wouldn’t take to it but she was great. I had expressed about 120mls and she drank most of it like a little champ.

It was nice to have some visitors, it does get lonely here all day when Ellie’s sleeping and it’s nice to have someone else take over for a little while. Nan held her and fed her and Aunty Meredith changed her nappy and put her to bed and I got to go out for 5 minutes without a baby for the first time since the day we came home from the hospital. It was only a quick trip out for Aunty Meredith to go to the chemist and for me to get some bread but it was nice.

She put on the charm, too! Giving her great Nan big smiles and even laughing at her!!

For the past few days Ellie’s been struggling to stay asleep during the day time and her night sleeps have been barely over two hours at a time, so I am feeling tired. I think she’s having a growth spurt, so hopefully she will soon get back into a better routine.

Today she’s 6 weeks and 1 day old, I can’t believe how fast it’s gone!

Ellie’s finally gone down for an arvo nap. I feel a little bit out of whack today as Ellie stayed awake this morning when we normally have a little sleep together waiting for James’s alarm to go off, so everything has been happening at a totally different time to normal. Not that we have a water tight routine, but she does tend to do things at around the same time each day.

We had a cat turn up at our front door last night wanting to come in, it was like it thought it lived here poor thing. This morning it was gone and I was kind of disappointed, I thought maybe Scraps could have a friend and it would keep him occupied!!

I have been invited to a cooking party plan night with some of James’s workmates, I don’t really know if I should go or not, I’m leading towards not because James asked them if I could take Ellie and I figure if I am going to spend the night looking after her anyway I may as well do it in the comfort of my own home. I think if I wanted to go it would be for a night without the baby and I guess I feel like him asking if she could go means he would prefer not to have her.

For now I would just like to have a shower on my own or something along those lines. Something simple.

Anyway, she’s awake again - I don’t know why she won’t stay asleep in the afternoons. I put her down and she’s awake again in 5-10 minutes but if I pick her up she’s out like a light!! It gets quite frustrating because I know she needs to sleep.

We’ve been seeing little smiles from Ellie for awhile now, especially when she’s sleeping but today she gave me the biggest most beautiful smiles

I don’t know when I’ll get more ‘coz now she’s grumpy as. She’s been having trouble going to sleep this afternoon, she’ll doze off, but then something will wake her - mostly it’s Scraps deciding that right then is a great time to bark. He’s really driving me mad. Admitedly, his barking has gotten better lately, it’s just that he picks the wrong times to go off. It’s almost as if he waits until I am feeding her, changing her, just got her off to sleep or when I am about to go to sleep myself. It’s really getting on my nerves right now.

Well, I’d best get some dinner on.