A strange thing happended to me the other day... I noticed I had something creamy coming from my nipple.  This would have been ok if I was breast feeding but seeing as though I stopped about 8 months ago, I got a little worried.  I searched on the net before I decided to go and see my doctor and came up with cancer or pregnancy.  Wow what sort of options do you call that! I am not a stupid person, I know not to always trust information on the internet but it did put a sick feeling in my gut. So I called the doctor and off I went. Having had a flu for 5 weeks was a good excuse seeing as though I had convinced myself everything was normal. She did an examination and found no abnormal lumps.  "Do you have any breast problems in your family?" she asked and my stomach did a 360. Thankfully I didnt.  Did you realise that after you have breastfed for a time, some woman can keep on producing milk for years.  This is what she thinks is happening to me but I need to go and have a breast ultrasound to be on the safe side. I am trying to stay postive. She said I have nothing to worry about but the thought of my son having no mum makes me die inside. Dont think like that, dont think like that!!! Makes you appreciate life in a different way. Come to think about it, I need a bit of a wake up call.  Have been getting a little down with all the pressure of teething, working, a toddler and money. Things could be a lot worse.  At least we have each other.

I am guessing you know what I mean when I say where did my little baby go! A 'kid" stands before me now and says Noooo!!! when I tell him its time for bed. 

I am feeling a little old these days.  Not so long ago I can remember telling my mum I didn't want to go to bed and now I am the responsible mother of a 'kid' - not the little baby who I rocked in my arms a little while ago.

Jordan is just getting so smart. It almost makes me want to have another baby just to have the bundle of joy in my arms - almost.

Where did the time go? I watch old videos and cant remember my little baby turning into a little man. What on earth will I do when he can dress himself and pee in a potty. God help me on that day!

I havent written for sooo long that I decided I better before Jordan has a baby of his own. We have had lots of fun times over the past few months and as we all know, there a lots of bad times too. I think we might be going through a bad stage.  Jordan is basically driving me INSANE...  On a good day, when I leave the room he cries, on a bad day if I am not picking him up he screams.  I know the good stuff absolutley outweighs the bad but sometimes its dam hard.

Our latest issue is my sweet little baby has decided he will throw a couple of tantrums my way.  Now this might be ok for the terrible two's but goodness, he has just turned one.  Yesterday he vomitted all over me when he began screaming and coughing becasue I wanted to change his nappy. This stage will pass I hear, yeh when they're about 3.

On the good side, he cuddles me back!  For so long I have held him close to me when I wanted a cuddle with no a great deal of response. Now he is old enough to want to cuddle me back and it feels amazing!! I bet all the mums must agree  not many things in this world are as special as your child wanting a cuddle.

Jordan and I have been going so well. He is feeding well and both my husband and I are sure he has put on weight.  His face is so chubby. We will be having him weighed again in a couple of weeks so we will see then.

Scotts Auntie died the other day and we will be going to Albury for the funeral.  I'm hoping the trip isnt to eventful with a baby. I know he will want to be picked up but we just wont do it in the car.  Please god dont let him cry all the way...!!! He will probably be so unsettled since we are staying there the night.  Jordan has never slept for a night away from home. I suppose I will be with him so lets hope he sleeps well.

Wish me luck.