What to do...... What to do...... 

My 11yr old, David, is getting his "manly hormones" in and I am at the end of a very short stick as to what I am going to do with him. 

I will give you a quick update on what has been happening in our lives so you can all understand where I am coming from.

We have recently moved back to our home town although my husband is still working in our old town which is 5 hrs drive from here, which means, he doesnt live with us through the week.  He comes home on Friday afternoons and goes back on Mondays.  This is what I am pinning my sons latest behaviour on.

Since hubby is away all week, David is strutting his groove thang around my house like a stallion during breeding season!  He thinks he is running the show, ruling the roost and bringing down the house with his new testosterone and I dont like it one bit! 

Do you know what the little punk said to me yesterday?  "What's cookin good looking"  He says this as he's swaggering through the door with his mates and his pimp daddy attitude.  He is a completely different boy when the Big D is home on weekends, he wouldn't dare swinging his bits in front of his old man so why on earth does he think its ok to speak to me like Im the hired help when his dad isnt here? 

I have always been a strong mother as I was on my own with him for 6 yrs.  I was a mother to be feared!  Even other peoples kids feared me as there were no exceptions to my rules and every child that entered my domain followed my rules or copped the consequences! 

So what has happened?  Have I gone soft in my old age or has my son grown out of being afraid of my consequences?

Im thinking its a combination of the two....  I think that since I married my husband, I have often been the softer parent as he can be quite strict and harsh.  I figured my son already copped it once from the big fella so I neednt go there.  Now that Chris isnt around on a full time basis my son no longer fears the wrath of the mamma bear.

Hmmmmmmm what to do...... what to do. 

As I sit here with my Beer (yes I have started beer o'clock just to cope with the demands of my men folk) Im feeling awfully staunch as i envision scenes of me with Daddy's thong in my hand slicing and dicing at my 11yr old terrorists ass as he screams "please mummy I'll be good, I'll be good"  Is that even legal anymore or are they still in the process of outlawing any form of punishment that allows us to have any real control over our children?  Ahhhhh the good old thong.....  I have many memories of my own of the my mum chasing me around with the good old thong......

So apart from flogging the ass off my preteen monster what the fuck am I supposed to do with him?  I have tried sending him to his room, banning xbox, grounding him..... all these things just seem to make him worse!  If he's not sprouting cheeky blurbs infront of his mates he is skulking around the house like a bear with a sore prick!  Some nights I think about all the wonderful things I want to do with him the next day but the minute it gets out of bed it  is bitching and moaning about how its bored and there is nothing to do?  Where was I taking him for the day or who could he invite over? What was all that shit I bought him for xmas then???   I spent good bloody money on buying him enough shit that I wouldnt see him or him from him for atleast 6 months! 

It seems to be all about him for the last 6 months..... He wants to know everything I am doing, who Im on the phone to, what do they want and then he starts telling me things he wants me to tell them??? WHAT^ THA???  How the fuck does he figure that I am, not only, his house keeper and cook but now I am his fucking receptionist, relaying messages??  Oh MY GOD it has turned into a monster!

I thought I had a few more yrs before the teenager in him reared its ugly head....