As some of you might know, I have been having a few problems with Sebastians sleeping habits at night.  Well we did the controlled crying for 2 nights and the 3rd night he slept right through!

Its amazing how sleep deprivation can alter the way you look at your child.  After the first couple of days, even 3 or 4 it doesn't really matter.  You think "that's what babies do".  But after a week of only getting 4-5 hrs a night you start looking at this creature a whole lot differently. 

I didnt want to play with him, I forced smiles.  It was horrible.  I am happy to report though that after 2 good nights sleep I am well and truly ready for the next round of torture he decides to throw at me  (My mum is talking toilet training already )

I am also happy to report that we have found a home based day care lady to take him 1 day a week to give me a break.  We dont have any family or friends here so I am with the kids 24/7 and it can get a little noisy in my head some times.  So I have decided to kick him out on Wednesdays so mummy can have a noise free day.

I cant wait!!  I am sooooooo looking forward to having a "me" day.  I can go to the hairdressers, I can do some sewing, Hell, I can sleep all bloody day if I choose!  It will be so nice to have those few, sweet hours where nobody wants anything from me!  Now I just have to keep my hubby off me.  I know what this will mean to him........  FREE SHAG DAY!!!  He will think that coz the kids aren't here it will be a perfect opportunity.  I know I should be thinking the same thing but I have to be selfish and say that all I want is 1 day a week to be left alone!  I will have to have a chat in advance I think and warn him.

Well, thats all the latest with us. See you round like a fruit loop[.

It's been almost a month now since I went to the doctor and got my happy pills.  I have to say that I am devo'd I never had them before!  I feel normal for the first time in yrs!  It's great!

Have you ever seen the quit smoking ad where they have those nasty little nicotine receptors with the sharp teeth bouncing around all crazy?  Well, that's what my head felt like every single day.  Like all my thoughts and fears were bouncing off the walls insanely.  Now.... it's all peace and quiet up there.  I can actually listen to my positive (sane) thoughts when I start to think nasty negatives.

Things are alot better with hubby and the kids too.  Im not screetching at my eldest every time he opens his mouth or even looks at me sideways.  Im not having a breakdown every weekend when hubby doesnt help with the house work and most importantly Im not crying all the time from the exhaustion of getting up several times a night with the baby.  It doesnt bother me anymore.... I just get up and do it!  When bubs is having a tanty I dont get anxious anymore either.  I just deal with him.  LOVING THE HAPPY PILLS!!

I thought that the pills would make me all "Stepford wife" and I wouldn't feel anything ever but I feel completely normal, I still get cranky with pms, I still get grumpy when Im tired and I can laugh at my favourite shows.  Before when I got crabby, it all spiralled out of control and my head went dark and closed in on me.  Now, its full of fresh air.  It's so nice to be in control again.

So thank you to all of you who dropped by my blogs to show support.  It really helped to know I was cared about.