All morning I've been hearing a dog whimpering and at first (because we live close to a parade of shops) I thought nothing of it ,an hour later I thought I could still hear it so looked out of our back windows and couldn't see a dog so thought it may be in someones garden then a little while later I could still hear it whimpering so looked out again and realised that someone had locked this poor little mite in a car, I couldn't make out if the windows were open so called the police non-emergency number who gave me the number for the dog warden and I reported it to them who said they would send a welfare officer out ,an hour later no one had arrived so I took Amy outside to investigate, the windows were open about an inch and the sunroof was open and inside was an elderly Jack Russell shaking and whimpering with no food or water so I forced the window down and put a bowl of water on the seat, (I was very frightened that it might bite me) but it seemed grateful and let me out it down on the seat, I then came in and called the RSPCA and told them about him, they said they would send a field officer. I have just checked the car and it seems that the dog is gone, I hope that the RSPCA got there before the owner and that the awful, cruel person will be prosecuted for animal cruelty.

We took Amy back to the ENT department yesterday so another SOH could have a look and see if they could retrieve the lead. This SOH was lovely and very child friendly and tried to retrieve the lead but because it was causing so much discomfort she asked an consultants opinion and he said that it would have to be removed under general anesthetic so we waited for them to find a time for Amy to go on the theatre list, we are returning to the Children's Hospital tomorrow (Thursday) so Amy can have a pre op exam then we have to return on Friday for 7:30am book in at the Day care Ward and wait for Amy to go to theatre apparently because of her age they don't like to keep them waiting as this adds to the stress so she should be one of the first in (depending on Emergencies) she will be given a small amount of general to put her in a shallow sleep while they retrieve the lead from her ear and she should come round quite quickly then be observed for a little while then allowed home with no overnight stay. I am so nervous about this and even though it has been explained that its just like being put under to have a tooth pulled  its still making me worry, I really don't know how the parents of very sick children cope with the big operations when something as small and easy as this is making me worry so much. Steve's work have been very good and given him 2 days holiday so he can be there and I know that its not something mayor but if Amy has us both there so may be more relaxed, I haven't explained really what is going to happen and as far as Amy knows we are going up to the hospital to play with their new toys, I have seen very little of the new children's hospital but what I have seen is lovely and I am so pleased that Amy will be treated at the children's hospital for a day procedure as I feel the staff there will be allot more understanding then some we have encountered over the last couple of days.

A very valid observation was made by the SOH yesterday that we were lucky that Steve had seen what had happened as we could have been none the wiser to the fact that Amy had an object in her ear, she could have put the pencil down and we would have thought it was just broken and not checked her ears so from now on at bath time I am going to be checking Amys nose and ears for foreign objects!

It all started so well, I took Amy to Mother and toddler and she had a lovely time playing outside then we came home waited for Steve to come home at lunch time then went food shopping, all this went smoothly but when we got home I was very tired so I went for a lay down while Steve watched Amy.

I was suddenly awoken by Steve calling me to wake me up and being told that Amy had stuck a pencil in her ear, you know when you first hear something you find startling it doesn't sink in (especially if you have just woken up)  I made him repeat what he said " Amy was quite happy drawing while I was decorating in the front room when she screamed and announced that she had a pencil stuck in her ear then she pulled it out and said the end was gone and that it was still stuck in her ear" It turns out that my first awful vision of her having pierced her eardrum with a pencil was unfounded she had actually managed to break the end of the pencil off in her ear and the lead was stuck inside, Steve knew this was true as he had looked in her ear with a torch. so my first thought was she needed to go to A&E then I paused and thought as we were just up the road from the doctors that they might be able to help so I phoned them and they were as much use as a chocolate teapot and said they weren't sure what to do but may be we should contact the children's A&E  at the local hospital which I did who said to take Amy in.

When we arrived we were signed in and told to take a seat in the waiting room just inside the main entrance, then after 20 minutes was called by a nurse and taken to a second waiting room where we waited another 30 minutes to be seen then when we were eventually seen the nurse just looked in her ear and then sent us back to the waiting room where we waited for a further 20 minutes to be called by the same nurse to tell us that her colleague wanted to have a look, she said she would be able to remove it and got a small set of forceps out, turned on a large lamp and Amy sit on Steve's lap while this nurse poked around so much that Amy was reduced to tears and we were sent back to the waiting room. The same nurse returned shortly afterwards to ask for a contact telephone number for us and I had a hunch that they were thinking of sending Amy home without treatment, we were then ushered into a side room and told that it could only be removed by an ENT specialist and that there was no ENT specialist on site and that we may be able to get an appointment tomorrow to have it removed, I immediately said I was not happy about taking Amy home without it being removed as they couldn't be sure that she may get an infection or be able to push it further in. This hospital we were at is the Main hospital in Brighton which has just had a brand new state of the art children's hospital build to the tune of millions but apparently this does not include an ENT consultant, now what is the most common thing for a toddler to do, stick things up their nose or in their ears. but there was no need for a children's ENT department! I was sure there must be someone on site that could remove it but no so they contacted the Princess royal in Haywards Heath where there was an ENT consultant who I was lucky enough not only to talk to but to meet person later, she explained that she was the only specialist covering 3 major hospitals in Sussex and that it was impossible for Amy to be seen, I said I was unwilling to take her home with a foreign object in her ear and that I was quite willing to come to her, again this was against hospital protocol as she was working on an adult ward so knowing that this hospital had an A&E I suggested that I could meet her there but she was unable to leave the ward (remember this consultant was covering 3 hospitals between Haywards heath and worthing a great distance for someone who couldn't leave the ward!) she asked for a contact number so I told her I was reachable at the children's A&E when she could sort out treatment for my daughter. Her reply was that she would contact me back shortly half an hour later the nurse returned with Amy's notes and told us to take her to the Albourne ward at the princess royal Haywards Heath and ask for the ENT SHO! (SHO senior house officer that's a trainee covering the 3 mayor hospitals in sussex) so we drove there and finally found the ward after wandering unchallenged round a hospital with a maternity suite! Then had to wait another 30 minutes before what could only be described as a scruffy college student turned up announcing herself as the ENT specialist we were rushed to a small room that looked like a store room and confronted by what looked like an over-sized black dentist chair, that scared me let alone Amy so while I tried to comfort her to sit her in the chair the ENT SHO huffed and sighed with impatient then announced she was going to try and use suction to remove the lead and promptly switched on the noisiest machine possible which spooked Amy and that turned into a screaming fit which lead the ENT SHO to say she was leaving the room as she had rational patients to deal with! This finally got me mad and I told Steve to take Amy out and to wait for me while I found the ENT SHO and told her I was leaving with my irrational child to place a complaint and to find a qualified consultant she glared at me and told me to wait as she had patients to see and she would then come and talk to me, I did wait outside and when she appeared I asked if there was anyone senior to her we could see, she asked why I explained that her attitude was wrong for dealing with children and that I wished to speak to someone who had more experience which she answered with I would be told there was nothing else that could be done and that I would have to wait to be seen tomorrow so Amy could have the object removed surgically and that the on call consultant wouldn't attend from home as this was not an emergency and not worth his time. Of course I latched onto the "on call" comment and told her to phone him and that I would take my chances as to whether he would attend, she sighed and said as she walked away " oh my god!"

She reappeared shortly afterwards with she couldn't contact the On Call consultant and that was all she could do until we could be seen tomorrow, so  I asked to speak to the registrar, this took her by surprise and she agreed to phone him this time I followed and listened in while she huffed her side down the phone then handed it over to me after asking if the registrar would speak to the "Para P"!

I spoke to him and outlined what had happened and that I wasn't happy with Amy's treatment and that Amy's reaction was not helped by the ENT SHO attitude he promised to see me tomorrow and apologised for us being pillar and posted and that I was right about the children's hospital and that it should have a children's ENT but it didn't because of lack of government funding so i said I would forward all the details of this fiasco onto my MP, which he answered I'm sure that they won't change government policy for me, I replied I didn't expect that but as he was blaming the government they had a right to know. We now have an appointment for tomorrow at 2pm and because I felt like I lacked Mother skills to comfort Amy have sked Steve to ask his mother along to see if she can persuade Amy to let them suction it out and you know that out of all of this hurts the worst as I now have had to admit defeat to a women who doesn't see fit to introduce me to anyone as her sons wife and grandchild's mother, this may just be pregnancy hormones but I feel like a complete failure, my daughter has had to go to bed worrying about the thing in he ear and I am unable to comfort her properly to have treatment done, I feel so useless.

Sometimes Amy can say the funniest things like last night Steve made a chicken and veg pie which we had for dinner, Amy was sitting eating it like she had never been fed so Steve asked her if she liked it, her reply was this: "Yes Daddy, I like the chicken the best but not the soup with pea salad"  There was a lot of gravy in the pie so I guess this was the soup and the pea salad must have been the mixed veg!

Every year I sat and watch the trooping of the colour on T.V, as we are now and Amy has said the funniest thing - first I need to explain that Amy calls wheelchairs pushchairs, So the Kings troop has just come out on the parade ground and they pull two huge guns on carts and I was trying to explain to Amy what they were pulling and she said "NO! they are pushchairs for Horses" I suppose the big cart wheels look like the wheels on a wheelchair.

Last night I had a very restless night but managed to get off to sleep and then had a very strange dream.

I was walking down a seafront road on the left hand side, then across the road was a seafront wall then the pebble beach and the sea, then I had this sudden urge to have a poo and suddenly in front of me was a white porcelain toilet with no seat or lid and it didn't look like it was connected to anything, now thats strange enough but it was outside a green fronted shop with a green stripey canopy, I sit down on the toilet in the middle of the pavement and started to have a poo. My back was towards the road and parked just behind me was a yellow car then over the road was a coach with all the people waiting to get on, loading their suitcases into the back and taking no notice of this pregnant woman using the toliet in the midle of the pavement. I looked up and into the shop, now you would expect the store to be a bathroom fittings shop or plumbing company but no it was a haberdashery, the man and women inside were measuring cloth on a large table, then they came out of the store and were talking to me, about what I can't remember but I was still sitting on the toilet!

This is all I can remember, strange isn't it. I can usually relate my dreams to things that have happened that day or conversations I have had but this dream is not related to anything I did yesterday. I had some strange dreams when pregnant with Amy but they were usually related to baby things like the birth - I once gave birth to a baby who had the back of its head missing so its face was just like a mask! In another dream I gave birth to a giant green two headed snake! This dream was the strangest yet and almost felt like the dreams you would have before starting a new school, you know the ones where you suddenly find yourself naked in public only with this one I was pooing in public!

Have you had any strange dreams during pregnancy? or have you had dreams that later on have turned out to be true? Let me know your experiences.

Clare x

WARNING: This blog contains the rantings of a very emotional pregnant woman.

OK where do I start? Firstly when we were out at the weekend with the MIL she saw a few people that she knew, she chatted with them then added she was spending the day with her son and her granddaughter, now either I was invisible or she was deliberately not introducing me, now I am leaning towards the latter as she did this on a few occasions. Even though I pretended not to hear or to rise to her bait I found this hurtful and I feel the need to confront her about it but I don't want to upset Steve, (I haven't told him how I feel as I know he will make excuses for her and that it was just a slip of the tongue! Let me tell you she has a sharp tongue)

That evening I was thinking about the birth of our new baby ( I know that it is a long while off) and about when I had Amy and what I would do differently this time, I came to the conclusion that I don't want visitors this time (apart from Steve and Amy) as with Amy I just found it tiring to have a room full of family handing the baby around and giving unwanted advice plus this time I need to really include Amy as much as possible and I feel that having lots of people cooing over the new baby might make her feel left out, therefore I just want us (Steve Amy and I) the first couple of  days even when we go home. The problem I now have is approaching Steve with this and then the rest of the family, especially the MIL, I'm sure she will see this as a slight and that  I am trying to push her out and even though she may listen she won't agree and will probably turn up anyway.

Now we have arrived at this morning, Amy refused to get dressed or do anything she was told to do. She knew that we were supposed to be going over to Nanny's (yes the MIL) so that Daddy could put up her new shed and we were going to go swimming with Nanny (actually Amy was invited to go swimming not sure what I was supposed  to do!) I warned Amy that if she couldn't behave then she wouldn't be able to go swimming, I am a person of my word and don't make empty threats, Amy continued to misbehave so she was warned a further  2 times and in the end I said she wasn't going and phoned the MIL to let her know that only Steve would be coming over and that Amy wasn't allowed to go as she had been naughty, she snarled down the phone "What ever you think is best "  and just put the phone down so I can just imagine what is being said to Steve about me and I really wouldn't be surprised if Steve doesn't come home having made more plans for Amy to go out with her another day to make up for Amy "Missing" out today.

So now I have had my rant please feel free to let me know if I am over reacting (pregnancy hormones and all that) or I am in the right.

Clare x

On Friday I reached 16 weeks so just 4 weeks till my next scan and I am now feeling slightly bigger movements although no kicks yet just baby shifting about.

On Saturday we went to the South of England Show at Ardingly, west sussex. Its an agricultural show so there's loads of cattle and theres show jumping and loads of stalls like a giant market.

Amy had a great time watching the sheep being sheared and milking a cow (not a real cow, a life size model with rubber udders although Amy kept calling them willies!) Amy collected lots of freebies, stickers, colouring books, key rings, pens so we spent very little money and thanks to a friend of the family our entry was free too.

Yesterday we went to another free event in Stanmer Park, Brighton. It was the spring-watch festival. We picked up Nanny and took a picnic (Amy loves picnics). Amy had her face painted by a very talented lady.

This lady has a lovely website and does children's parties etc. You can find it here: http://www.namnams.co.uk/

Take a look at the gallery, there are some real works of art.

I was woken yesterday by my daughter at 6am which at the time I wasn't too happy about and the first thing I did was go to the toilet which was lucky as when i wiped myself I saw a little bit of blood, at first I thought it was from my backside so I wiped again and realised it wasn't. For a few moments I just sat there not sure what to do then reached into the bathroom cabinet for a pantie liner which I put on, then I phoned the hubby not sure what to tell him as I didn't want him to panic, I asked if he has started work yet he said no he was just about too then there was a pause and he asked what was wrong then I broke down and between sobs told him I was bleeding just a small amount he told me to phone the maternity ward (as our doctors weren't open till 9am and it was just 6:20am) and that he would come straight home, I put the phone down got my maternity notes and found the number for the maternity ward and phoned them trying hard to stop sobbing, a lovely male voice answered announcing himself as a midwife so I tried to explain what had happened -  that I was just 15 weeks pregnant and that I had found a small spot of blood when wiping my self this morning, he immediately launched into medical mode asking if I was in pain and what the blood looked like and was there any additional discharge before hand, I answered that I wasn't in pain and that the blood looked fresh but was mixed with a small amount of clear mucus, he advised that I rest and assured me that it was nothing to worry about as there was no pain, if things did get painful then I should attend the early pregnancy clinic at the hospital but in the mean time to rest and not to lift.

Fortunately the Hubby was home by the time that I got off the phone and was there to comfort me, I explained to him what the midwife had told me so for the rest of the day I did nothing apart from sitting on the sofa crocheting while the Hubby went and did the shopping, did the housework and washing and then took Amy out for the afternoon while I had a sleep, there was no more bleeding and so far all is OK but it scared the life out of me and if it hadn't been for the Hubby's quick and clear thinking I'm not sure what I would have done - so Thank you you are a star and I love you dearly xxxx.