My goodness me, it has been almost a full year since I wrote a blog. So much has happened, yet nothing has happened. Still greiving over my sister, still have her phone number in my fone, still have her email in my address book. Putting up the christmas tree the other day, yes, only the other day, it is toooo hard to remember, found THE christmas cards. Couldn't cry because it would have upset my oldest grand daughter, she was helping put up the tree and I didn't want to scare her.

We have my girls back from Qld. now, baby is almost 3, she calls me Hanna, just can't quite get the nana out, just quietly I LOVE it.

Both boys are driving now, one with his P licence and one on his L's, YIPEEEEEE I don't have to take them to baseball or any where any more, it is just great.

Both boys are working now, industrial cleaners at One Steel, come home absoulutley filthy dirty, I have to get them to take their work clothes off outside, the dust sets off my asthma, which has been so very bad just lately, in the last 6 or 7 months I have been in hospital 6 or 7 times with a savage chest infection, I just can't take antibiotics as I am alergic to them, so I have to be in High Dependency for a day or two.

And Pagan mum of three is going to be a Pagan mother of 4 in May, I am so happy and excited about that. Male or female we don't mind, so long as it is healthy and has everything in the right place.

Try not to leave it so long next time. Love to all, Butterfly1956

Nicholas is back at school now, year 11.

Anthony is starting TAFE.

Tony is at work, night shift tonight, home at 8am tomorrow.

Michelle and Roxy have gone home to Qld.

I find my self still remembering Marion and crying for no reason, I go to tell one of the boys to complete a task, and find them sniffling or Hubby will suddenly blow his nose, yes it is hard, but life must go on.

My father has been gone for 23 years, I still go to phone him, specially if something has broken down, dad was a great fixerupper.

Mum has been gone for 7 years, still want to call her too, quite offten I have found myself actually picking up the phone and dialling her number

I keep all birthday and christmas cards, when the christmas tree goes up, I have a good cry when I read all the old christmas cards, then I am ok for the rest of the season.

I gotta go now, I had a tooth out today and it is a real pain. night all.

It has been a long time since I have added to my calendar.

I guess you can all understand why!!!

My Michelle and granddaughter Roxy arrived on 23rd jan. So it was tear time again. Arangements made to get to Adelaide for the funeral.

My poor sister in Adelaide went to the funeral home to help the brother in law make the arangements, on her birthday!. Then the public holiday, then my birthday, eventualy 30th jan is arrived at for the funeral, 1pm. There is a viewing at 4 on monday (my birthday) I have to go because I still do not beleive that my beautiful, warm, welcoming,  kind hearted sister that has been a constant in my whole life, is dead. I had bought some butterfly wind chimes, lots of them, one I gave to Marion, the rest I gave to family members. When the chimes tingled, that is Marion talking to us.

I could not beleive the uncles, aunties and cousins and former in laws that came, some from Melbourne, some from NSW. All Marion's neices, even the one from Alice Springs. We all went back to Christine's for a "piss up" Marion would have been there with bells on, the wind chime went nuts, it was great knowing she was there with us.

Husband and I left about 10 pm to go back to Ronda's leaving the young ones to carry on and from what I hear, boy did they carry on and on. And good on them I say.

My Roxy is only 10 months old but we had her (un) 1st birthday while she was here, we needed cheering up, then we had a small 18th for my Anthony ---- well did Nicholas, my 16 year old get DRUNK and was telling us all that he loved us, then he just cried and cried, his way of greiving because he just realised that he could never tell his Aunty Marion that he loved her again, ever.

Well we are home again, vowing to never not keep in touch with the family again, the plan is to go and see them in the school holidays after easter.

Tomorrow we are going to get a family photo taken because Michelle and Roxy are going home on thursday and I do not know when I will see them again because Maryborough is a LONG way away..

Cheers every body, I thank you all for your kind thoughts and lovely graphics to help me in my time of need.

Received the dreaded phone call last night at about 7.15pm ish.

I had gone to my daughter Sharon's house to baby sit the babies, 3 and 2  while Mum and Dad went out to a 50th, Sharon and Matthew never go out, so a great oportunity for them, and for me to spend quality time with the babies.

Sharon and Matthew had basically just left the house and the phone rang, it was Christine, my neice, the one in Dampier with my sister Marion. Obviously she had rung here and my hubby had given her Sharon's number.

THE PAIN I FELT IS INDESCRIBABLE.

I rang Matthew's mobile and gave him the option of letting Sharon enjoy the night, the good boy told her and she came straight home, while I was on the phone to my other daughter, Michelle, the one in Queensland, so we had a "group hug" and a good cry, then I rang home straight away, my hubby, Tony was in tears, my Nicholas was in tears, my Anthony was in shock. He had only been home about 24 hours from seeing her, he knew she was bad but didn't want to accept it.

After a cry with the boys, I rang my other sister in Adelaide, for an hour we cried, we laughed, we remembered, cried some more, then started remembering family we had not even thought about telling. Mum is the oldest of 14, so we have a lot of family! spread all over the country.

Tonorrow (later today) Sharon is going to come here and we are going to go through the photos, there will be tears and lots of remembers.

We are also aranging for Michelle and her baby to come home for the funeral which will be in S A , thank you to Marion's husband.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, EVERY ONE GET THE VACCINE FOR CERVICAL CANCER, AND, VACCINATE YOUR DAUGHTERS.

AND GET YOUR SMEAR TEST DONE REGULARLY

Hopefully this cruel waste of life can be eradicated.

Marion never had children which is very sad for us as we know what a fantastic mother she would have been.

You all know that pink ribbon is for brest cancer, white is for domestic violence, red is for AIDS.          I beleive that purple is for cervical cancer, I would love for every one to wear a purple ribbon on march 5th which would have been Marion's 57th birthday. I plan on making some for her funeral to give to every body. I need to do something, I feel so empty right now.

I sincerley thank every one that has left me messages of love and support, I am relying on you all to help me through this sad time.