Hi everyone, Sorry i have not been here for a couple of days. I have had one of those weeks. Wednesday i was not feeling well again had a really down day. I seem to be having a few of them lately. I do not know if it is the stress of getting kids organised ready to go back to school or what it is. Jaya is doing ok with her toilet training she still has accidents but sometimes will go to the toilet rather than use her potty. She is so funny she wets her pants and then comes and tells me"wee mummy"" lol she knows where she is meant to go but just wont most of the time. She does not like being wet which is a good thing so i hope it wont be too uch longer beofre she is toilet trained properly. I just sat home all week only going out if i needed to or had to.

Thursday was just the same as any other day. Got up early and organised the kids for day care. Did my housework and tried to sit for a while and do nothing lol lol. It is hard in this house even when the younger ones are not here i still tend to find things to do with myslef. I have been doing well with my course and still enjoying it.

Friday a friend came over for the day to visit she does generally a couple of times a week, I think she is the only one who really understands the reason i wont go out much. She is such a great person but she has very low self esteem. I am helping her through it all and teaching her to stand up for herself and not let anyone put her down as they used to. She is doing well. She has two children and they really enjoy being here and seeing my kids.

Yesterday i was in a really bad mood in the arvo as Centrelink refused the application for an extra 25hours a week of care i applied for due to my depression. So i rang them to enquire why it had been refused. The guy on the other end of the phone was really nice about it and tried his best to get a social worker for me to talk to with no response. So i hope they will get back to me on Monday as early as possible. They are just not very understanding. I feel at a loss as what to do about it as this is really all the help apart from my physc and dr and physcologist. My family day care worker is just the best. She has picked the kids up today at 10am rather than 3pm as there is another little boy she has and he rang me this morning asking when his friends were coming sooooo cute he is. So the kids are gone and i have done everything i need to i think. Well my depression is really getting to me at the moment i am just about to fall apart with everything. I fear that if i end up having a breakdown child protection will be called again like last year i do not want that. So when/if centrelink calls me i will be telling them straight what may happen if i do not get the extra hours of care i need so desperately then see what they have to say about it. But i know i need to be careful what i say to them as they could possibly call them any way so either way i am at risk of it. To be honest i really do not care today maybe tomorrow will be better day.

I am just staying home today doing my house work and then i will do someof my course as i do a bit each day or night that is why i have not been on for a couple of days. I know some of you wonder if i am ok. Well just so you all know i am doing ok and think of all my friends each day. You are all inmy htoughts so please remember that. I may not be here or on msn but you are all in my hearts. Cazza i thank you for listening when i have a whinge on msn to you. You are just the best friend a person can ask for.

Hugs Michelle xxx ooo