Hi all well i hope everyone has had a great new year so far. I have been busy trying to get the education system to approve a aide for Caydn whom has now been diagnosed as  having high functioning Autism and Aspergers which basically is the same a sthe prior. It has been hard since he started school On Monday each day i have taken him he has done nothing but scream when i leave him and yes it really hurts me inside. The other morning after dropping him off ay school i came hime in tears first time that week. I know he is going to be ok when i leave him and does settle down but it is the fact that i feel guilty about it. He is doing ok and has already bought home readers to start learning to read and is tryin his hardest to sound letters out. I had to go to a physchologist for him to get his autism confirmed althogh his peadiatrician had already said this is what he had. But seems that his peadiatricians word means nothing to the education department when it comes to special needs children. Caydn also has oppositional behaviuor which sme days is realy hard to deal with as no matter what i or anyone else says to him he will keep doing what ever it may be or saying. At times he can also be just sitting in the lounge an all of a sudden he will swear for no particular reason at all. I first thought that the others were annoying him but no one at these times is anywhere near him, jokingly i said to a friend thats all i need a 5 year old with tyretts! I am doing ok and am on the waiting list to have a hysterectomy by the end of march as i am classed as catergory 2. Just before Christmas i also went to see a plastic surgeon in regards to having a tummy tuck under the publis system as i have had 2 c_ sections and therefore qualify for it under that guideline. So i have an appointment in March to see  the plastic surgeons at the public hospital to see how long the wait time may be and if i am able to have it done, i have tole friends and family i am not worried how long it takes i want to get it done to feel better about myself as i am sick of people asking me if i am pregnant and when i am due. GGGGGGRRRRRR It really gets me down especially snce i suffer depression and everything else. Well thats about it for me i will post some pics of caydns first day at school as soon as i put them on my puta. They are all so cute i got pics with all the school age and Jaya had to get in them too.

I will try and blog for my friends whenever i am able to as i have been so down and last night did actually think about suicide but thought against it because of my family and friends they all need me around..

Hugs to you all

Michelle xxx ooo