Hi all welll i have been so very busy and down this last week. I apoligise to you all for not blogging more often so that you all know what has been happening here. Well it has been over 3weeks since all the stuff happened here. I am so over it all. I can barely function each day never mind trying to finish my course too. Cody had a throat infevtion last weekend and is better now. My mum  took him for a few days as he wanted to get away from his brothers and sisters they were annoying him was his reason lol lol. Now ,y Mum has Caydn asnd he is coming home tomorrow as he has a appointment with his peadiatrician in the afternoon tyo see how he is going. He is not really enjoying kinder and i think deep down he is happy he is on holidays and does not have to go.

I went to see my phychiatrist on Frifday and he was shocked big time when i told him what has been happening. He has upped my meds to try and calm me a bit better lol lol. I have to go back and see him this Friday afternoon. I also had to go see my phycologist today but i do not think he is going to be able to help me much as he thinks that i am overrating everything and not taking any blame but i know that what happened here was not all my fauklt and i wish the other person would take more responsibilities for their actions but she wont.

I have not made any contact with this child for about 2 weeks now and i do not intend to. She can do it on her own as this is what she seems to have wanted anyway and now tells people that i did everything wrong not her at all. I still have alot of anger inside but am containing it within me. Which is good in a way. i guess. I am going to a friends place for tea tonight as i do not have the younger children as they are staying at their day carers for the night. So only have 1 teeneager at home. Bj has gone down to my mums as Caydn rang this morning and told me he wanted to come homw so to try and disract him Bj went there. Bj took him to the pictures to see a movie today so he loved that. He has just rung me and said he wants to come home but i told him Bj will bring him home first thing in the morning. He was happy with thids and hung up lol lool.

Tomorrow i am going to hand in some of the course work i have done so far as i spoke to my assessor this afternoon and i told her i had done most of it and she asked me to drop in what i had  done and she would look at it amnd mark it then give me a call when she is done. There are a couple of people graduating next week she said and she was hoping that i could finish by then. I have done most of it so she was fine with that. So i will let you all know what she says about my work so far when i hear back from her ok?

Well i better get going and do somer of my course before i go out for tea. I will chat to you all later and i hope everyone has a great week.

To all my great friends please do not stress too much about me i am going fine.

Hugs to you all Michelle xxx ooo

Happy easter to everyone. I hope you all have a great day. I woke at about 8am this morning to the kids saying mummy easter bunny has been and he even left some eggs for you! lol lol Yesterday was a really bad day for me. My child who has order on me sms me and told me that  wanted to come and get  clothes and bed out of my house. I replied by saying you are not allowed here and that i would bag it all up and put at end of my yard for said child to collect. The bed i have not taken down as yet and i have told said child that until pays what owes me for the storage and me being unable to use room  cannot take the bed yet. Said child replied by telling me that it belongs to said child and i said you have no proof you paid for it as was in my ebay account name. I also foound letters that said child had written about not wanting to live here anymore and that life here sucks! Said child also wrote that i made said child do everything while myslef and other children did nothing. Said child tells everyone that they were npot allowed to go out as friends did to parties etc.... This is a lie said child was able to stay at friends houses on alot of occassions but i wanted said child home by a certain time the next day. Said child is not over 18 yet and thinks they should be able to live their life th way they want without rules or boundries. I care for my children but this child has done the worst possible things that any one can to to their parent or even another person. What kind of child goes to police and had their mpother charged and arressted just for loosing the plot and being stressed out majorly by said child, Yes i did say things in anger but what parent/person has never said things in anger????? I am feeling really pissed of today and stres is getting to me. I just want said child to pay what owes and get all the stuff out  so i can have closure to allk of this. Is this wrong?? I do not think so but hey some people may think i am wrong in doing what i am. I have had to live with ssaid child saying things to me like if it wasnt for me(said child) you  would not get child support! My return was ifit was not for mwe you would not be breathing the same a ir as i do! lol lol But these words i said are true. For about 13 years i paid for education,medical bills, sat in hospitals till all hours and more and received no child support all these years! I do not think i was wrong in any of this some may see it differently but you get that!

Today i have to talke Cody to the drs as he is not well and has a sore throat and temp. So he has dr at 2.20pm this arvo! I will let you all know how he goes when i get the chance.

Happy Easter to you all yet again i hope you all got yummy chocolates.

Hugs Always Michelle xxx ooo

Hi all my Friends and Minti members! I hope you are all going well and looking forward to Easter and hope you all have a great day! Yummy Chocolates. But none for me thanks lol lol! Well it has been 7days since i blogged last and there has been so much happeniong i just have not been up to doing my blog! As some of you know what has been going on in my life this last week or so, The crap is still happening. I am unable to function properly therefore feel i cannot care for my children as i should be able to. I love them all dearly the ones that are still at home anyway at the moment. But i need a break it is all getting too much for me now to cope well with it all. I have only really spoken to a few friends and had a couple of visitors as i do not feel up to anything. Is this wrong to be feeling like this?? Am i a bad parent for saying what i said? I myslef am seriously starting to think i do not deserve to have my children around me any more, The trouble i had the other week pushed me right over the edge so to speak. Being arrested for things that should never have happened and then i find out yesterday that d.h.s had called my Family Support worker to let her know that they had received a complaint about me. They were informed wether by police or someone else what had happened with myslef and my daughter leading up to my arresst and charges. There is a intervention order out on me against her and am banned from publishing anything relating to her on the net. I have  found out i vcan say certain things but just not mention the name of the p[erson in question. As this would be breaking my order. How low can a child go? Calling the police and having me aressted for ccertain reasons? tThe child in this matter is allowed to say and do what she wants but yet i am not allowed to. This is morally wrong in my eyes. When a parent suffers depression adn is pushed to the edge of insanity how do i survive through it. There is still the charges to come and the worse thing is i never layed a hand on the s aid child. How is this right???? Sorry but i need to get this out of my system or i am worried i will do something i may one day regret. I have wiped said child out of my life and covered said child face in all family photos as each time myslef or father look at picture the anger sets in. The anger and frustaration for me is the worst part as i gave birth to this child and cared for when ill and paid for education but this i gather was never good enough. No matter what i do or say it means nothing at al. I have now prevented any contac6t with the siblings as this would cause upset and distress to all concerned i am not worried about said child as this was said childs doing not mine. This child will have to live with what they have done for the rest of their life not me. I am trying to liove as normal as possibler but am currently finding it really hard to do this. Thank you to Alana for lending an esar when i needed to talk and vent you are just the best!!! I APPRECIATE EVERY ONES CONCERNS AND DO LOG ON TO SEE HOW EVERYONE IS GOING. sO I AM JUST BLOGGING TO GET THIS OUT THERE AS I HOPE IN DOING THIS I MAY FEEL A BIT BETTER ABOUT MYSELF. bUT TO BE HONEST I AM THINKING OF TRYING TO GET AWAY FOR ABOUT A WEEK OR SO TO BE RIGHT AWAY FROM THEM ALL. lOOK OUT aLANA HERE I COME!! lol lol Well that has to be all for now as i am ion tears writing this and am feeliong lost and lonely in this life. I know i am not lost or lonely but i cannot help feeling like this.

HAPPY EASTER TO EVERYONE! Will blog as soon as i am in the right frame of mind! Thank you all for being here for me again i repeat Thank you

Hugs always Michelle xxx ooo

Hi all my friends out there in Minti world lol lol. Just a check in to let you all know unfortunately due to circumstances beyond my control i am still unable to detail what is going on. They are even trying to stop me talking about it to my friends etc.... on the phone. I have had enough of the shit and crap that i am going through. I feel like running away to Tasmania to Cazza and Alana i wish i could to be honest. I need to get away from here soon befor i really go off again. I guerss i can say just a bit about what has happened to me but some parts i cannot. I was arressted on friday night and charged with four things. I know it sounds bad but ubnfortunately and thank god it was not totally all my fault that is the truth. I will upodate when i can about the rest but courts telling me i am not allowed to publish anything on the internet or email etc... It is so stupid that our kids seem to have more rights than us parents nowadays. But i do not care anymore. I have boundries that i am not allowed to cross and things i cannot do but the person in this carry on can do a he/she not saying if male or female that way i wil not get into trouble for it. They can do all the things i cannot how is that??? I do not understand any of it and to be honest really do not worry about it anymore. I will fight it as far as i can to be able to say what i want when i want to my friends on here.

I have been so upset all day it is not funny anymore. I wish there was a boat from my door to just about anywhere in this world right now. I will be calling a couple of people to fil  them in and if they ask me they may fill in a few others too.

Thank you all for the support you have given me throughout this last few days well almost a week. I realy treasure the friendships i have made on here. Thank you all again from the bottom of my heart.

Hugs Michelle xxx ooo

Hi all i am just letting you all know i am still currently checking in from time to time to see how everyone is going. I am getting there and through all the problems at moment. I am stressed out a bit today but hopefully after tomorrow i will be able to let you all know what has been going on. I am just so bloody angry that i cannot let all my friends know the reason just yet. I am not hiding anything from anyone it is just that i am unable to say what is going onh. I feel bad that i am unable to speak about it all on the internet as Minti is my saviour when i am down and having any problem. Thriough Minti i can ask for help and get it from my friends who may live far away. I know i can rely on you all to be here for me and i wish to thank you all. Today i am feeling really down and really need to talk to someone but i am unable to even chat on msn to my friends incase it gets tracked. I am almost at the stage of saying stuff it all and risk everything just to get it all out in the open. I am sitting here right now as i type with tears coming from my eyes. I am not after sympathy or anything but i need to just say how i am feeling today. It hurts me that much it is driving me crazy. All of this is crap and i am starting to feel like a victim of this all. Explanation will come hopefully tomorrow for all of you who do not know what has been happening to me. Thank you Alana,Cazza and Bel for being here for me i wish i could have you all here but fopr now it has to wait.

Have a great day hugs and miss ya all Michelle xxx ooo

Hi all well i am slowly getting there i will be able to blog properly after thursday i hope any way. For thosae of you who know what is going on i thank you from the bottom of my heart for the chats and sms over the last couple of days. This hads helped me to try and get through all that is going on. I will chat to you all soon Take care Hugs Michelle xxx ooo

Hi there all, I just wanted to do a quick blog to let you all know that due to circumstances beyond my control i will not be able to blog for a week! I will call my closest friends to let them know tha reason and when all is over and dealt with i will explain the reason. I hope you will all understand until then! I am having some serious Family problems that is all i am able to say!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend. I will blog after Thursday next week i promise.

Thinking of you all Hugs always Michelle xxx ooo

Hi all woke up at 7am this morning to the kids talking to me as usual. They are so cute in the mornings sometimes but not always they are kids i guess and love to wake mummy up each day with their chitter chatter. Got up had a shower kids were dressed when i got out which was good. Caydn had kinder this morning at 8.30am until 12pm so he thought that was fun. He seems to be enjoying his time at kinder which is a plus for me.  I went to see my friend who had her surgery yesterday i took Jaya and Harley with me as Harley had the day off today. Next week he goes each day as the testing of preps has finished this week. Got to my f riends house to find that her b/f had taken the day off to help her lol not! Her 2year old still had his noght nappy on so i changed him for her as she had asked her partner to do it and he said he would after he had a smoke how selfish is that?! I also dressed her other son while i was there then all the kids went and played outside for a while. They had so much fun playing with bikes,cars,balls and on the swing set. Jaya was really good with going to the toilet while we were there no accidents apart from no2s so i was happy with that. Left my friends house at about 11.10am to get back in time to collect Caydn from kinder. I had enough time to run to the supermarket to grab a couple of things i needed for tea. Picked Caydn up and came home Jaya went to bed and slept without a nappy for two hours and did not wet, so she only has a nappy at night time now. She is growing too quick for me. Did a bit of my course work this afternooon while boys watched tv as it was a bit too hot to go outside today. The other children arrived home at about 3.40pm so i got them in the car and dropped them off at their day care workers house as they stay there tonight and she drops them off in the morning before school. She may be dropping Caydn at kinder in the morning as he has been hassling her for a while to do this so if she does she will make his day. I will then pick him up at 12pm and come home and have lunch together. The builders are coming tomorrow to measure for my new kitchen so things are happening really slow with all the work that needs doing to the house. Thank goodness i am not paying for it the ministry of housing is doing that. But i guess the house will look like new when they have finished. I will have to take pics and post them so that everyone can see the mess they make and then the outcome!

Well that is about all of my day today will blog again really soon!

Alana thanks for the chat and was great to hear your voice tonight on the phone! Hope i helped cheer you up a bit and make ypou laugh! Hugs Michelle xxx ooo

Hi all well this week has been very eventful so far i must say! Yesterday i received a phone call from my neighbours across the road who are interstate truck drivers. They had friends staying there looking after the house and their 2 children while they were away. The person/s i am talking about are members on here and i am sorry to say they are not very good people. The neighbours rang me as their 13 year old daughter had arrived home from school yesterday afternoon at 3.30pm to find the house empty. The people that were meant to be staying there and looking after them had taken off without telling anyone they were leaving. They took some of their belongings as much as they could fit onto their car and gone. They have deserted two children and left for their own selfish reasons we have worked out. I did see them placing stuff into their car but did not think anything of it at that stage. The neighbours rang me to ask me what happened to their good neighbours, I said What?? Me? They said it jokingly and asked me why i did not tell them that the peole had gone. I told them what i had saw but did not really take much notice of it as i thought they were going out for the day. How was i to know?? I guess had i sat at my window and watched i would more than likely seen them putting their stuff in the car, then i could have rung my neighbour friends and told them what was going on. They do not blame me for it they were only joking with me about telling them lol lo . I always watch their house when they are gone incase anything hapens that way they are aware of it. The question i ask is "Why wowuld someone just up and leave two children who are not theirs??" If they could do this to someone elses children what are they capable of doing to their own son? They are not very good parents in my eyes as when they used to come over here to visit me as we were kind of friends their sons nappy would be that filthy and wet as if he had it on all day and not been changed. They left where they were living last time due to d.h.s involment as they had their son removed from their care as they were said to be unfit to take care of him. When they got him back they took of from that place. So what does this say about them as parents? I am so angry with what they have done and so are my neighbours so blood is running hot in this street the last couple of days. We are going to find them somewhere somehow!!! I have told my neighbours to report them to the police as what they have done is abandoment! Does anyone agree?? If they did this to me i would be right out there hunting them till i found them. We know they may not be far away as they have no money to get far from here. When they get paid the never have money either so their  son may not be getting fed or looked after properly. All they paid while staying across the road was $100 a week for three of them to eat the food that was bought for them, use power etc... all bills were paid. How wrong is this that they bit the hand that fed them and gave them a roof over their heads. They thought they were friends but guess they were just using them to get away from d.h.s.! This is true. I will name them as i really do not think that the minti community will like people that do this on here! The members names are Fitzpatrick(John) and bughug1983! So now i have got that of my chest here is the rest of my week so far! lol lol

Today my friend had to go to hospital for surgery on her kidney she has had problems with it soince she was young! so today it was repaired well we hope it worked for her. I have spoken to her tonight on the phone and she sounds like crap to be honest her partner will not do anything to help her and she is in so much pain it is not funny. She even had to drive herself to get something for her tea as he would not go for her or cook her anything. She almost smashed into a parked car on the wrong side of the road while doing this not good! I am not happy with her partner as he will not even take timeof work to look after her and she has two young boys. She is not meant to do anything for about 4-6 weeks i think. I am going to her place in the morning to help her abit while Caydn is at kinder for 2.5 hours. She feels sick and her head keeps spinning when she moves not good again. I have told her to try and get a good sleep if that is at all possible for her tonight. Well i hope her b/f decides to stay home to help her tomorrow as i will be stressing for her when i leave to come home for Caydn kinder pick up at 12pm. Jaya has been running a temp of and on for the last couple of days not sure why. She is not sick maybe she is getting her 2yr olds well i hope soi. She is going really well now with toilet training she has wee down pat it is just number 2s we need to catch lol. That is the hardes part of training. I had a bad downer this afternoon everything just got to me and i almost cracked big time. I cried for about 2 hours for no apparent reason. Well maybe there is a reason, the kids dad is not doing much with them at the moment so i am not talking to him he does not help with my depression that iam sure of. I just cannot be bothered with it all. Tonight i put Jaya in a bed up the other end of the house and he went and got her out and put her on my bed where he was lying. He is staying here for a while but at the moment i do not really want hin around me. I am worried that i will do something and regret it later. Nah i am stronger than that. I just do what i want and not say a word to him. I will be taking the kids with me tomorrow when i go to my friends place they can play outside with her boys while i help her if she needs anything done while i am there for a few hours.

I finally got my van back from the shop and am paying them off as it was over $1800 in total. Thank goodness i know the people who fixed it otherwie i do not know what i would do or find the money so that is a bonus for me iguess.

Well that is all for tonight i have had my vent. I hope everyone is doing well and am thinking of you all!

Hugs Michelle xxx ooo

Hey all well last night i had a few friends over and we had drinks. I drank for the first time in months as i dont normally drink. I had bought a bottle of cowboy from an alcohol party and is was 21% so i drank the whole lot he he  I made a few calls and gave a few people a laugh especially Alana. Especially for you Alana i made you laugh i never thought we would stop i cheered you up last night hey?? I will not drink for a while the plus was that i did not have a nagover when i woke this morning lol lol. That is te good thing about the alcohol i was drinking no hangover. The younger kids are still at day carers and i am picking them up at 2.30pm today. It is going to be 28 here today so am trying to do everything before it gets too hot. I have been up the street and got stuff for tea so am organised. Myself and Tiffany are watching tv as i am blogging and doing course work. My course is going great and i am still enjoying it which is a plus.

Last night something funny happened i have two dogs one male one female lol you can guess what happened! A friend s son went outside and came in and said "Shell the dogs cant walk!" I wondered what he was talking about as i had seen them walking 5 minutes earlier. So off i go outside only to find the two dogs attatched lol lol. Tess the female is on heat so it did look funny i rang a friend and asked her if she had ever seen an 8 legged sausage dog with two heads she thought i was going crazy. I explained what happened and she laughed at me. So got cold water threw that over them that did not work  so got the hose turned that on and wet them to get them unstuck! They tried so hard to run but they couldnt as they were joined well and truly but in teh end the cold water did the trick lol lol. So now i have to watch tess as when she was sick the vet told me that she should not have pups Well i cannot sit out there and watch them all day and night now can i. So if she is in pup i will find out in about 9 weeks. So that was my night last night/ today i am just relaxing doing my course work and then going to pick kids up.

I had better get back to the books will chat again soon Alana. ACazza i will sms when i am going to ring you ok? Have a great weekend what is left of it anyway!

Hugs Michelle xxx ooo

Hi all well i know it has been a while since i did a blog sorry! I have been on here but just have not had time to do my blog, So sorry to all my friends who have been wondering what i have been up to. Well the last week has been busy Caydn started speech therapy again and she is actually very happy with him and the way he is talking now compared to about 12mnths ago. He loved seeing his speech therapist again and she was happy to see him too so it was great. He did some sort of test thing to see how his listening skills are and he actually scored higher than his age should so listening is excellent i just wish he would do it more lol lol. Harley had his prep testing on Wednesday and his teacher is very happy with how he is going and he asks questions and will talk to her too which is a plus as he does not talk to too many people! So all kids are going great so am really happy for now. I hope they stay that way. My brother is in hospital and has been since early hours of Wednesday morning they have done tests etc... and he has pnemonia in his left lung he has been sick for about a week and never goes to dr he was still going to work as well but now he has no choice he is on hospital and may be there for a few days. His temperature went up again yesterday to 39.5 so they had to do anohter blood test to make sure there are no other germs. I hope he is ok as he never gets sick really he is older than me and i think this is the first time he has ever been in hospital lol lol. Well i am going okay just having a relaxing day today as the younger children are at day carers for the night she did not have them last night as it was her b,day she was born on a leap year so i think by calculations she is 8 now .lol lol!

I am having some friends over tonight for drinks it is a shock as i do not really drink but i am feeling down so am only going to have a couple i will be a good girl. I will think of you Cazza while i am having a drink i will have a few for you. lol lol I am going to be drinking my cowboy shooter that i bought from an alcohol party yummmy as it is. I will  not get to the ppoint where i wake upwith a hangover about 5 drinks will be enough for me.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend and enjooy the sunshine that is shining bright i hope any way!

Hugs Michelle xxx ooo