Well to start with my dog Tess that was really sick before xmas had three puppies on Monday 21st. She had two black ones and a white one with brown and black patches on him. They were all males. Unfortunately the two black ones died within a day of each otrher. I suspect there must have been something wrong with them as she would not lewt the runt feed f rom her at all we tried everything. I even went a bought special formula to try and hand feed him but that did nothing to help he was dead the next morning. It was so sad when they dies=d but the kids are taking it really well as we still have the white patchy one. I think we are going to keep him as Jaya is really attatched to it. I call him Mr Noisy as he lets you know he is around making noises all the time lol lol. He is so cute and tiny smaller than a rat lol lol

Tess is doing rally well with him which is a plus. She has always from the time she had them taken to this one in particular. I will place a pic for you to see them all as i did manage totake photos to keep before they died. So at least i know we have one that is going strong each day!

The white one with the patches is the only one left we are keeping him. I tried to get a better one on but was unable to. This pic is also in my phots if you want to see a larger picture of them.

Hi all well the last week or so has been one drama after another. I have moved boys into two seperate room and am still tidying them all up and doing my course at the same time lol lol. On Monday i had to Pick Tiffany(13) up early from school as some little assehole boy  in the same year level had headbutted her really hard in the fore head for no apparent reason just cos he could. He though he would look tough to his mates but he was wrong as they all told him he was just an idiot. Tiffany had a headache for a couple of days and still has them on and off so i may take her dr over weekend to see what he says. I just wanted to get this kid and show him exactly what it felt like to be headbutted as hard as he did to her. Her whole class want to get him back for doing this to her as she is popular within her peers and classmates which i guess is a good thing. I have not been on much due to trying to get the house all organosed so i apoligise for that. Alana beware i have credit now so you will be receivibg a call over the weekend lol lol.

I hope everyone is going well and Bel ihope you feel better soon and we will catch up when you feel better.

Thinking of you all andf i haver not forgotten that you are all here if i need to vent on anything lol

Hugs Michelle xxx ooo

My 13 year old took this pic of her and her brother a while ago! This is the way it turned out really spooky. No trick photography or special effects just a camera and snap! It amazes me this picture and am still trying to figure it out!

What do you think?? Is there another person in this pic or is it somehow a copy of nother pic over another? A digital camera was used so not think pic over another like can happen with film cameras!!  Hugs Michelle xxx ooo

Hi well my last 6 days have been pretty full on and have had bit of stress lately. As in earlier blog about Caydn i am now at the stage of trying to get things organised for him like ot(occupational therapy), more speech therapy even though the speech therapist he sees said he does not need anymore of it. And whatever else he may need to help him get ready for school next year. I am at a loss as to wether i should send him to mainstream school or get tests(academic) to see if he may need to go to a special school where he will get all the help he really needs in life and his education. Everytime i think about what he has it has just now really hit me even though i knew from birth he had a problem. I blame myslef then i blame the drs as i told them whenm i was preg with him that something was wrong and this was like three weeks before i even gave borth and they all told me all was good. Not true in the end i had an emergency c-section due to feotal distress and then found out that theplacenta had stopped functionong three weeks before i had him. This is the worst that i knew and no one listened to me. He had used all his body fat to survive those last few weeks and looked like a skinned rabbit when born. He had feeding problems from word go and numerous other problems was admitted to hospital on several occassions due to failure to thrive and more. Oh well i guess this is now all catching up with me and i am feeln down again but when i lok at him i feel more love than  i could imagine. He gets no special treatment when at home as we have always treated him exactly the same as all my kids. No special treatnment just a boit harder when comes to dicipline as he throws massive tantrums at times for any where up to san hour.

Well no word from child that caused all sorts of trouble for me now a month ago and no word about charges that i am meant to be getting but i guess they can still bring them when they want to. I am so over iyt all now i am just concentrating on myslef and the other kids i have here at home. This child to me is nothing she is nobody just another person on this earth. I have told this child get your own medicare card so i can take off mine and when that is done end of story and end of said child being a part of this family. Said child knows nothing about Caydn and i have told people who have contact with said child not to say anything at all about him. Said child has no rights to any of my familys life anymore. I know it may seem harsh but this is how i feel and i need to close this stage of my life for good. Said child is feeling it already as said child does not see anyof the children apart from maybe the two older ones when they go to school and see said child maybe at train station or when walking to school. Said child does got o Red rooster where my son works and does talk to him but most of the time he does not eellll me as he knows i want to know nothing about her at all. I still have all the rubbish out of said childs room out the front of my house and am expected to pay to take to tip i do not think so said child will find it at the doorstep where staying if does not pay for it all to go to tip soon. It is making my house look like a junkyard that is how much rubbish etc.... there is.

Well i have started going back to see my physchiatrist and have another appointment on Friday afternoon he has upped my meds again and i am feeling a bit more energetic and not so down as i was about3 weeks ago. This is a good thing and he understands how angry i am and that at anytime i may go off again. I will not lie to him as i have gained a trust with him which i think is essential when seeing someone like this.

Well i better get goimg still trying to get my course finished  as had not been in  mood to do it but have been trying ot finish it was due to finish by next week but not think so. I have not heard from my  assessor as yet about the work i anded in last week so i guess no news is good news lol lol

Well time for me to go will blog again soon. Hope you are all gong well and i am thinking of you all each day!

A special Hug to Alana and Bel you guys are ythe best!

Hugs Michelle xxx ooo

Hi everyone well i thought i would do a blog again today to let you all know what has been happening the last couple of days so ffar! Yesterday Caydn had his poeadiatrician appointment and finally i got an answer i  have been waiting for for almost 4.5 yrs now. The peadiatrician  has said Caydn is Mildy Autistic. I knew from the day he was born that there was something wrong with him so have never denied it ever. So now i have to arrange for him to have Occupational Therapy as he has really small hands compared to others his age. He has trouble doing most things with his hands. Holding scissors or pencils is awkward for him. He is getting used to it but still has trouble so ot will benefit him immensly. The POeadiatrician is going to do a report and send me a copy and she is also sending a copy to  yooralla which is the organisation that he has funding for kinder through this year for two terms at the moment. So hopefully he will be able to get funding when he goes to school next year. I am hoping that he will be able to go to mainstream schools otherwise there is a great special school here somewhere that i have been told about. But whatever the future holds for him he will get through life easily. We have never evere tr3eated Caydn different than the others even though we knew he was. So nothing is going to change in that respect. He is at times a really afectionate child buit when he has a bad day look out he goes right of his head lol lol, Tantrums can last anywhere to 2 hours when he really has a good one.

Well i handed in my course work that i have  done so far yesterday and now just wait for my assessor to call and let me know if there is anything i need to do to make it right incase of me misunderstanding anything that i have done.

Well as i said in earlier blog i was getting work done on my house and guess what finally work has started. The builders were here yesterday and pulled all the gutters down from my house and the down pipes as well and they are here now putting the new ones up yay! Finally i thought it would never happen. They said my kitchen will be a while but that is ok as i need to go through everything before that happens. My said child got her bed this morning and it was outside all night due to being in my hallway and everyone bumping into it all the time. So i rang and said you need to get your bed before someone steals it so it was taken by siad child this mortning with the help of brother and sister. I am now waiting for money from said child to take all the rubbish that was in room to the tip as i refuse to pay out of my pocket. Said child acts like nothing has ever happened between us well sorry to say alot has happened in the last month that can not be undone ever. I wll not forgive and forget that easy maybe never. Even though i did give birth to said child i feel nothing but anger towards this child, It feels like this child is just another person living in the same suburb as me that is the truth and i would rather tell the truth than tell a lie. I feel nothing for this child at all.

Today i have my Family support worker coming at 10am to see me and we generally just have a chat about everything. D.H.S rang her last week as they had been told what happened here. She told them that they should npot call me as this would just make my physcological  problenms worse than they already are which would be true i guess. I have enough to deal with right now without them ringing and hassling me. I take day by day at the moment as i have still not received my charges from the police but they take their sweet time all the time with everything as that is what they can do. But if i wanted something in a hurry they would be there like the situation that  occurred here they were very quick to arrive but i did not ask them said child did.

Well that is all for now i will keep everyone updated on how things are going. I will take pics of my house woithoout gutters and then again with the new ones up lol lol.

Thinking of you all and have a great week

Hugs Michelle xxx ooo