Just on the off chance anyone still reads my blog after this long LOL......My husband and I sepperated in November last year, we are getting along ok for the sake of our daughters so thats good.  The girls and I moved into my Mums rental house in town back in March this year and we are all happy and thriving.  Ailish goes to 3 year old little kindy (she'll be 4 this Xmas) and Erin is growing like a weed, the to are chalk and cheese, Erin has dark blonde hair and is a chubby little Budda, I had no issues breast feeding her like I had with Ailish, and fed her until she was 6 months old and then she discovered solids and didnt want me any more lol.  she is desperate to be a big girl already at only 10 months old.  Living in Mums rental has more than you'd think in advantages. It has been a rental for over 25 years and is in need of some reno's, which I am in charge of which is great, I am allowed to do it up as we like it pretty much, as long as its within Mums budget. We are here for the long term and are very happy.  This coming Feb I am going to be starting a 3 year full-time online Swinburn Uni course Bachelor of behavioural Science with a Psych  Major (or something like that lol)   I wnat to be a Psychologist and help people as I have been helped, but I cant do that entirely online unfortunately, so this will allow me to become a Social Worker and i can build on that. Anyway, all's as well as it can be, I shall try and get on here more frequently lol......I'm a bit addicted to Facebook these days lol.

Well we know she's a girl, which took a bit of getting used to so I'm glad I found out.  This pregnancy is very different from AIlish's, I had very bad intergestion with Aiish and she was bor with mases of hair, so I'm wondering if this one will be bald LOL.

I had suicidal thoughts (I told my hubby as the thoughts scared me, rather than acting on them thank god) so it was decided that I should take Ailish and go home to Merrijig and Mum, whixh we did, we have been in Victoria for about 2 months (since August 18th) and the medical help I am getting here is fantastic, I couldn't even get in to see my GP in Esperance, so needless to say things are majorly improved not that I haven't had very very very rok bottom down times here, but I'm hoping those days are dead and gone.  I am on anti depressents the same as I had for my PND last time, on a half dose they didn't take away the anxiety but I am now on a full dose and the difference is amazing, I feel I can control my emotions like a normal person now and my reactions to things are rational instead of blown out of proportion, I can make decissions where I couldn't before and more to the point I can trust my own thoughts and feelings in order to make decissions again, whcih is a relief, there's nothing worse than not being able to trust your own judgement, it does nothing for what self esteem you might have remaining, it reinforces the useless feeling.  I have a great pschologist here  and my GP/Gyno is terrific very thourough and caring.  Mum has been great of course.  We have had some ups and downs of course, but all in all I don't think I could have made it through with out her and she is great when I am at the end of my tether with our nearly 3 year old tantrum throwing girl, as a result she's behaving a lot better too.

Brett's coming over on Xmas Eve for a month for AIlish's birhtday, Christmas (same day) and the birth which is due for the 7th of january, Ailish was 8 days early, so we'll see what happens this time.

That's pretty much it.  I just wanted to let you know.  When I thought my head wasn't right, I asked and googled but I could find nothing on depression DURING pregnancey, I think it's smething that needs to be more talked about, my marrage nearly ended, and I nearly took my own life and that of my unborn baby and I was looking for answers and help.

It is known as either " Pre Natal Depression" or Anti Natal Depression.

If you hear anyone needing answers at least you might be able to give the right name,  I was looking up During Natal Depression... like I said not thinking straight.

Cheers

Well I had a huge scare on Tuesday night, I began to bleed like the beginning of a period and bright pink which isn't good.  Brett was on his last night shift and couldn't get home as he'd caught the bus out and had no vehicle and I was alone with Ailish.  I had an offer from my friend (Brett's ex-cousin) Deanne Robertson to drop Aiish off at her place and go to the Emergency Room, but Ailish was having an unsettled night at home so there was no way she would have settled anywhere else and Dee was alone there with her baby and no car so then she suggested that I ring the E.R. Instead and ask their advice as to what would be best to do, so I did that and they said it sounded like a miscarriage and they were sorry but at 14 weeks there was nothing they could do to stop it.    She advised I try and relax and take panamax (like I have any at home) if the cramps get to bad, and contact a friend if I can.  As you can imagine I didn't get much sleep that night, the cramps never got past mild and annoying and the bleeding never got any stronger, I rang the next day around lunch to tell them that nothing had gotten worse and could it be something else seeings I would have thought I'd be in pain by now etc and they said, no still nothing they could do, pretty much same advice as before except that if I could get a recommendation from my GP to have an ultra sound, which you would think would be easy enough to do but the surgery's phone lines were down un be known to me and all day all I got was an engaged signal.  That night Deanne told me that her friend that works at the hospital tiold her that there phones had been down all week.... Good to know.  All my instincts told me to do was to lay down and not lift anything heavey... Thank God Brett came home from night shift and Ailish was an Angel.   So then yesterday morning, I passed a large clot and then the colour changed to brown which is a good thing as that's old blood and not fresh so I was thinking maybe everything was going to be okay after all.  In Kal when I had some spotting at 6 weeks with Ailish we went to Emergency and they gave me an ultra sound straight away and it turned out to be an implantation bleed which sometimes happens and which happened again at 6 weeks to me so I wasn't worried then when that happened but at 14 weeks, you don't expect this.  So I go to the Emergency Room and wait and wait and then a nice Midwife comes and explains that at 14 weeks a fetal heart monitor which is what I requested would not give a significant result either way as it still might be too small to register a heart beat even if it had one and not finding one would just distress me more, so I had to go and beg an appointment at my Dr's surgery and ask for a referral for an ultra sound.  Well the up side of all this by this time is that the original Dr I saw who said he didn't want to see me for another 10 weeks from my first and only visit with him at 6 weeks (my next and 2nd visit with him is still not until the 28th of July) wasn't on but his partner a Dr Michael Meers was and he squeezed me in with only a 40 minute wait from the moment I walked in and he was so lovely and human when the other guy was almost robotic and way to clinical, so I was able to switch Dr's which I am very happy about, but getting back to the issue at hand.  He was very understanding, felt around my belly a bit, thought he felt a little bulge which he thought was a good sign, and when I mentioned that almost at the same time I started to bleed I started to pee twice as much as I had done he thought perhaps this had all been brought on by a kidney or urinary tract infection so I was sent not only to see if I could get an ultra sound (I had to wait 3 weeks for the last one)I also had deposit a urine sample at the pathology lab opposite.    So back I went to the hospital (lucky it's a small town) and tried to get an ultra sound appt then but the one and only ultra sound man was off that arvo and couldn't squeeze me in so I had it squeezed in at 10 am this morning.  And I am soooo happy to say that I saw our baby moving and his heart beat he has fluid in his stomach and bladder which means everything is working as it should be, he has a healthy sized placenta and umbilical cord, his size is perfect for his age and he wasn't in any distress what so ever.  I cried with relief as I'm sure you will be able to understand.  I could have kissed the ultra sound guy but he didn't seem to invite that kind of thing, so I patted his arm and thanked him a lot.   When I told Mum on Wednesday morning she was grey nomad-ding her way from the Northern territory and was in Central Qld she turned straight around and headed back towards us, she's about to come down the centre back to the Eyre hwy and as she says all she has to do is turn left at the end of the Nullabour to get to Esperance.  I have the best Mum in the entire world.  I dearly hope that Ailish and this new baby will one day think the same of me, but I have big shoes to fill to be as great as my Mum.  So now that I know the baby is okay, and the bleeding is now just very brown dregs, nearly stopped,  I don't know when I might get the results of the urine test but I don't know how the surgery will get the results or let me know without a phone, maybe they've had them fixed I didn't bother to try and ring them today.  I'll find out when we get back from Perth.   We are going as planned to Perth on Monday, we're staying at the Brett's sister Michelle's on Monday til Friday I think and then going to Brett's Mum's, and Brett has to have a suit fitting on the Friday arvo for a wedding he's in the party of in October and a bucks night he planes to not come home till the next day from, on the Saturday night.  (It's a good life for some when they can pretend they're still in their 20's and single isn't it)   Mum will probably reach here whilst we're in Perth but I told her if all was well we were planning on going to Perth before she decided to about face and she said that she'd be happy if all was so well that we could do that.  We'll have friends with keys to our house she can leave her van at there place which has the room (we don't) and she can stay in comfort in the house by herself which she'll probably enjoy for a bit of a change.  The funny thing is that she was running away from the cold and we are just getting hit by a bit of  left over cyclone so Brett says, the rain and the wind certainly agree with that, I think he heard it one the news, I missed it, Albany has apparently been hit so hard they have no power etc.  We have a gas heater  and just bought a new bottle today just incase the other bottle is getting low (I wish you could tell) so Mum should have no excuse but to be as snug as a bug.       Love   Chele, Brett and Ailish and I think we'll call him "Lucky"  

 

        

Hi yawl, we are having a lot of trouble agreeing on either sex baby names and want to keep with the gaelic theme we started with Ailish-Jayde (not the jayde bit LOL).

So far I like Rory, Brydie, Cormac, Rivven (correct spelling is Ruthvan) (and thats 2 Vs not a w), Caelan, Bryce and Siobhan (pronounced Chevorn), but Brett (Hubby) doesn't even contemplate, just says NOPE.

SO the more suggestions the merrier.

Thanks Guys, oh our last name is Lunam (pronounced Loonam) and it's Welsh (we've been told)