Well we know she's a girl, which took a bit of getting used to so I'm glad I found out.  This pregnancy is very different from AIlish's, I had very bad intergestion with Aiish and she was bor with mases of hair, so I'm wondering if this one will be bald LOL.

I had suicidal thoughts (I told my hubby as the thoughts scared me, rather than acting on them thank god) so it was decided that I should take Ailish and go home to Merrijig and Mum, whixh we did, we have been in Victoria for about 2 months (since August 18th) and the medical help I am getting here is fantastic, I couldn't even get in to see my GP in Esperance, so needless to say things are majorly improved not that I haven't had very very very rok bottom down times here, but I'm hoping those days are dead and gone.  I am on anti depressents the same as I had for my PND last time, on a half dose they didn't take away the anxiety but I am now on a full dose and the difference is amazing, I feel I can control my emotions like a normal person now and my reactions to things are rational instead of blown out of proportion, I can make decissions where I couldn't before and more to the point I can trust my own thoughts and feelings in order to make decissions again, whcih is a relief, there's nothing worse than not being able to trust your own judgement, it does nothing for what self esteem you might have remaining, it reinforces the useless feeling.  I have a great pschologist here  and my GP/Gyno is terrific very thourough and caring.  Mum has been great of course.  We have had some ups and downs of course, but all in all I don't think I could have made it through with out her and she is great when I am at the end of my tether with our nearly 3 year old tantrum throwing girl, as a result she's behaving a lot better too.

Brett's coming over on Xmas Eve for a month for AIlish's birhtday, Christmas (same day) and the birth which is due for the 7th of january, Ailish was 8 days early, so we'll see what happens this time.

That's pretty much it.  I just wanted to let you know.  When I thought my head wasn't right, I asked and googled but I could find nothing on depression DURING pregnancey, I think it's smething that needs to be more talked about, my marrage nearly ended, and I nearly took my own life and that of my unborn baby and I was looking for answers and help.

It is known as either " Pre Natal Depression" or Anti Natal Depression.

If you hear anyone needing answers at least you might be able to give the right name,  I was looking up During Natal Depression... like I said not thinking straight.

Cheers