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cindyb



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Apr
2008

One phone call... I dont want the phone call... not now, not ever.

Comment Published at 23:1523:1514 comments14 comments108 Visits108 VisitsReport

I'm feeling rather disconnected from life at the moment, lonely and disconnected. I dont get a lot of sleep at the best of times, and so on. But that is no big deal. I am more scared from what is happening to my brother in law.

He is on life support at the moment and it doesn't look good. A routine op, and off to ICU. He is only 48 years old with 2 young girls. He did have cancer in the past, but despite being in remission, he has never really been the same, and this op was supposed to fix some of his current trauma with the fluid around his heart. He picked up a bad cold when the weather went feral recently here in SA.

So here he is, I think he's dying, mulitiple organ failure, but I wouldnt dare tell my sister that. I even try to convince myself otherwise. I hope I am so wrong.

Why is it that bad things seem to happen to good people?

I just never really got the chance to say goodbye....

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Comments

lightbee
April 2008 | lightbee
Re: One phone call... I dont want the phone call... not now, not ever.

Hi Cindy

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through.  You're definitely in my thoughts.  There really is so little you can say in situations like this isn't there? 

*big hugs*

Leith



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      cindyb
April 2008 | cindyb
Re: One phone call... I dont want the phone call... not now, not ever.

Thanks.. nah, it's cool, just to know people are thinking of me is enough ;)



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Kellzacar
5.00 (Excellent) | April 2008 | Kellzacar
Re: One phone call... I dont want the phone call... not now, not ever.

Hi there,

I am so sorry to read about your BIL . . . Watching someone that you care about go through something like that is very very hard . . Please be strong and know that he is in the best hands . . I will be sending you positive vibes . .

Cheers Kellz



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      cindyb
5.00 (Excellent) | April 2008 | cindyb
Re: One phone call... I dont want the phone call... not now, not ever.

Thankyou Kellz, I appreciate you support and kind words and thoughts.

Guess its in the lap of the Gods now...

 



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cazza
5.00 (Excellent) | April 2008 | cazza
Re: One phone call... I dont want the phone call... not now, not ever.

Hi Cindy..

sorry hav''nt being around for you, and hope all works out for your brother in law...

my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family for a miracle..

xx cazza

 



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      cindyb
5.00 (Excellent) | April 2008 | cindyb
Re: One phone call... I dont want the phone call... not now, not ever.

Thanks Caz,

It's been tough, but I pray things will only improve, I can only imagine what my sister is going through, let alone how I feel.

 



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madchanny
5.00 (Excellent) | April 2008 | madchanny
Re: One phone call... I dont want the phone call... not now, not ever.

I really hope he recovers mate. I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

My aunty was in ICU a few years back (when i was little), family had to decide on pulling the plug, they chose not to and she ended up making a recovery. Miracles can happen, stay strong!

***(e-hugs)***

xx channy



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      cindyb
5.00 (Excellent) | April 2008 | cindyb
Re: One phone call... I dont want the phone call... not now, not ever.

Thanks mate,

I really dont want it to get to pulling the plug, it is up to him now to find that inner strength to pull through, time will tell. 

;)



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nell18-3
5.00 (Excellent) | April 2008 | nell18-3
Re: One phone call... I dont want the phone call... not now, not ever.

Hi Cindy

Thats so sad !!! What a terrible thing to have happen, I really hope that while in ICU his body is able to heal

Understand why you feel disconnected and lonely, sometimes it appears to be a less painful way of living your life, I think you are just trying to protect yourself from more hurt but in reality it just cuts you off even more.

Take care of yourself, keep coming on here to shout and vent it honestly helps

xxx

 



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      cindyb
5.00 (Excellent) | April 2008 | cindyb
Re: One phone call... I dont want the phone call... not now, not ever.

Thanks for that Nell,

I guess when you imagine what could happen, you consume yourself in thoughts of family, work and anything else to distract you. But its not easy. But I will certainly be coming in here more to vent, when I find time and headspace to do so :)



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Arna
5.00 (Excellent) | April 2008 | Arna
Re: One phone call... I dont want the phone call... not now, not ever.

Maybe being in the intensive care unit will allow your brother inn law's body a better chance of healing.  Sounds strange, but it is true.

It is a sad situation, but all you can really do is hope for the best and take things one step at a time.  Make sure you all keep breathing and smile, even if it hurts.



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      cindyb
5.00 (Excellent) | April 2008 | cindyb
Re: One phone call... I dont want the phone call... not now, not ever.

Thanks, I know, it's just hard to accept sometimes, and scarey. I kinda knew he would be falling ill earlier than some blokes, but not as sudden as this.

I feel helpless, but it's not up to me if he pulls through, it's up to him really, and fate, destiny, God, whatever...

Thanks for your support ;)



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DarkenedAngel
5.00 (Excellent) | April 2008 | DarkenedAngel
Re: One phone call... I dont want the phone call... not now, not ever.

I hope you are wrong as well. Sometimes we just somehow know whats really going on, other times we just get scared of the worst and think that's going to be the result.

Someone once said to me that people are like flowers in a garden, just as we pick the best one's to take into our home, so does god pick the best of us to take into his. Now I'm not a particularly religious person, but that does make the question of why the best ones go first seem easier to accept.

I hope everything goes okay and he recovers and gets better, for your sake if not his.



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      cindyb
5.00 (Excellent) | April 2008 | cindyb
Re: One phone call... I dont want the phone call... not now, not ever.

I love the analogy, it is so true. And it is a nice one to think about...thanks :))



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