November 22nd, 2006

Roar of the Crowd - Los Angeles
By Jim McCarthy

You're still here?

In the office, I mean. This is ditch-day-USA, people! Anybody still in the office after 1 or 2 should be assumed to have plans to Xerox their various body parts once everyone else leaves. If you don't want your co-workers mentally putting you in that creepy category, you better get your grocery list together and hit the streets!

But before you do, I want to call your attention to something other than either the prospect of that dude from accounts payable sitting on the copy machine or the long line at Honeybaked Ham for the 2 gallon Cheesy Scalloped Potatoes. Which are good.

Instead, I want to ask you to support an organization in Pasadena called Union Station, which plans to feed a few thousand homeless and impoverished people on Thursday. For the third year, Goldstar Events is working with Union Station to give its members an easy way to do something to support a great organization without leaving your desk.

Just go to our website and buy a full Thanksgiving dinner for a family of 5 for just $10. If you're so inclined, buy a whole lot of them. This is one of the very biggest Thanksgiving dinners in Southern California, so the help is really appreciated.

So before you shut down your email and web browser, take two more minutes to do a simple thing that's going to have a big impact on someone else's holiday!

Then leave. Your boss already snuck out five minutes ago.

Happy Thanksgiving,
Jim McCarthy
CEO, Goldstar Events

Sheesh, I haven't been here in awhile.  It's amazing how when you go to work, they actually expect you to work. LOL  It's been a busy week, but I'm so looking forward to the 4 day holiday.  Tomorrow, we are going to my mom's for a scrumptious turkey dinner.  On Friday, I need to take Lobo to the vet to get his stitch (stitches?) removed from his neutering operation.  We really have no other plans than to unpack our Christmas decorations!  I can't wait!!  Oh, and maybe we'll start making some cookies.

I wish you and yours a wonderful weekend!

This is from this past summer.  We went to visit my sister's friend and they have a cool little water park in their complex. 

Today is my mom's birthday (also my sister's, but we'll concentrate on my mom for now ), so I think she is the obvious choice for my Thankful Thursday.  She was a SAHM as long as I can remember -- raising 4 of us.  (I can't even imagine.)  I'm her eldest, so that means I'm her favorite, haha.  Just kidding, siblings!  She has an 8th grade education, but loved school and especially history.  She's a Texas gal, so one of her favorite sayings is: "Texas is bigger than the whole United States!"  Gotta love those Texans.  She quit school, because she had to go to work to help earn money for her family.  She has 9 brothers and sisters.  All, but one, are still with us.  She is super, super, super close to her sisters and they have actually rediscovered their bond again in the last 10 years.  These ladies are growing old gracefully together!  My mom instilled a love of education in us.  She didn't require us to do chores as long as our homework was done.  She never made judgements on our interests or hobbies.  Can you imagine she didn't bat an eye as I dragged my little brother and sister to stand in line for Star Wars on Hollywood Blvd?  She even had my dad drive us!  She was not one to be demonstrative with physical affection until we had grown up, but we always felt wanted and nourished.  While other kids couldn't wait to move out ot their parents' homes, I waited till I was 30 and my sisters are still there!  Today, she is 72 and still going strong.  She volunteers at her Church and takes my dad to his various appointments.  Mom, thank you!  I love you!!

http://isawyournanny.blogspot.com/

So what do you do when you want to do something against your principles?  Maybe I shouldn't post about Mel Gibson on an Aussie site, but he's at the crux of my latest dilemna.  I've had a problem with Mel for awhile.  He's supposed to be a Catholic who thinks Vatican II was too much change for the Church.  Ummm...whatever.  Then he did "Braveheart" that many activists said was anti-gay.  For that reason, I did not see the film.  Now, with his anti-Semetic tirade after an arrest, I have to label him a racist.  Now, the problem comes up with his new film, Apocalypto.  It's supposed to be a retelling of the collapse of the Mayan civiilization.  As a Latino-American, can you imagine how much I was looking forward to seeing this?  And now that I've heard so many good things about it, I would love to see it.  However, I believe I have to make a statement with my pocketbook.  I can't support someone who would defame a whole segment of our population.  Unfortunately, if this movie does not make any money, who or what will they blame?  Mel Gibson or the subject matter?  It could just give "Hollywood" another reason not to make different kinds of films.

I hope I don't step on too many toes here, but this is something that I've been thinking about.  Getting a new puppy has made us think about training, etc.  We picked up a book called, "Culture Clash" that goes against the whole "you have to dominate the dog" attitude.  None of that alpha dog stuff.  The author says dogs are dogs.  All they care about is food, playing, chewing, and humping.  We've, also, had recommendations for doing crate training, etc.  Well part of that is putting the dog to sleep in his crate and placing the crate in your room at night.  So far, Lobo has been doing beautifully.  Actually, he's "slept through the night" since day one.

That's all fine.  The controversial part is that someone on another forum asked about putting her 9 month old daughter to sleep.  Apparently, baby does not want to sleep in her crib through the night.  I'm glad to see there are alot of AP parents here, but that is not usually true IRL and, needless to day, not very common on this other forum.  Without being obnoxious, I just said that some parents sleep with their children and left it at that.

But I was thinking...we're supposed to get our kids to sleep by themselves in a different room, but it's recommended to have your dog sleep in your room.  What's wrong with this picture?

This is our new puppy, Lobo!  We got him at the shelter and he's about 4 months old now.  He is Chihuahua and Dachshund mix.  So far, he's been such a good boy and terribly sweet!  Rachel is just in love.  She has been asking for a dog for a year already.

Usually, I'm getting ready for Christmas back in September.  Most of my family's bdays are in September, October, and November, so it's easy to leave Christmas until December.  This year, however, I feel like I'm just coasting along.  For one thing, our family has decided to choose names and only get a gift for one person.  This only applies to the adults, but has made my life so much easier.  Now, I just need to get gifts for the in-laws.  I have decided what to get Rachel.  She has been asking for the Ariel makeup table.  I'm actually shocked, but if that's what she wants...I'm also going to get her the Mousetrap game.  I loved that when I was a kid.  And I will get her the book, "Charlotte's Web".  It's coming out as a movie this Christmas, but Rachel actually likes pigs and that was one of my most favorite books when I was young.  I'm going to try hard to resist buying more for her.  With all of our relatives, she really gets too much at Christmas.

The old one was fine, but we didn't have the repoire that my new one and I have.  Her name is Shelley and we actually hired in on the same day.  They stuck us in this tiny office for 3 weeks.  They then moved me to a wonderful window office.  I get to check out the Port of Los Angeles and wish I were on one of those cruise ships!  Anyways, when I moved over here, we asked if Shelley could move, too.  But, no.  A new person was being hired and he was slated for my office.  Fine.  Until last week.  My old officemate's (Greg) boss came in to tell him that they will move him into his own office ASAP.  He is a system admin and he needs room to build computers and store equipment.  Alas, there were no offices to be had at this time.  Well, I had the brilliant idea to have him and Shelley switch!  So I guess it got the go-ahead from the higher-ups and she's here!  We have a good time chatting, but we also respect our work time.  She actually only lives a couple of blocks from me, too.  It's fun to trade info about resources, etc., in our neighborhood.  Oh, and she works part-time, so it's actually like I have my own office.

So I finally figured out why most people don't vote.  They don't have time!  I'm usually a good little citizen and research the candidates and issues well before election day.  I've even been known to send out a little write-up to friends and family.  However, this year, it's the day before we go to the polls and I'm jumping on smartvoter.org to find out what is going on.  I feel like a real slacker.  How are people supposed to keep up with this?  There are a ton of judicial seats to be decided and the only time we see these names is when they come up for re-election.  Unbelievable.  I hate just voting the party ticket.  It's like you didn't even care to figure out who the best choice is.  Oh well, back to my research!

So, we are looking for a school for Rachel next year.  Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought we'd be looking at a private, all-girls school, but there we were about a month ago.  Like I said, we think Rachel is a bit advanced for her age and we don't want her to get bored in school, so we are trying to be a bit selective on where she goes.

Earlier this year, I went to visit our neighborhood school.  Seemed fine actually.  Not in the top 3 of our districts schools, but it seemed to be a quiet, organized place and I think that is what bothered me.  I want to see some creativity, some joy, and maybe even a bit of chaos.  I want to see kids engaged and nurtured in their learning.  I'm sure Rachel would be fine at this school, but we've decided to look around.

Our school district allows any child to attend any school in the district.  Your child automatically has a slot in their neighborhood school, but if you want to go to another school, you have to enter a lottery.  I had no clue whether it was "easy" to get into another school.  Luckily, my doctor lives in the same city with school-aged children.  She told me the dirt.  She applied to 5 schools and 4 accepted her last child.  Whew!  That made me feel better.  We will probably apply to 3-4 of the top schools in our area and see how we feel closer to next September.

In the meantime, we will be applying to that aforementioned private school.  It happens to be a very small school right around the corner from us.  They are borrowing their facilities from a Church.  It was started on the basis of research that shows girls excelling in math and science at single-sexed schools and/or classrooms.  I managed to get a math degree after going to regular ol' schools, so that is not the main reason we are considering it.  It's pretty much one classroom per grade with a couple of grades combined because of the low enrollment.  We really love the family feeling of this place.  I would feel comfortable sending Rachel into their care.  They will be having a kindergarten tea next February, so we will see how that goes.

I can't quite remember when I discovered the term attachment parenting.  I know I was intrigued with the idea of gentle discipline (no spanking).  I have a friend who was not spanked as a child and he seems a bit different than other people I have met.  Also, I read an alturism study many, many, many years ago (and can't find it still) that indicated that people who were not spanked as children tend to be more generous in spirit.  Some researchers wanted to know why some people helped Jews escape during the Holocaust.  They couldn't point to religion, as the rescuers were from many religions or none at all.  It wasn't nationality or race.  They finally discovered these people had never been spanked as children.  This has stayed with me all these years.

Somewhere along the way (before I got pg), I'd heard about attachment parenting.  I talked with George about it and we agreed to try it with Rachel.  He'd heard of attachment theory, of course, in his studies as a family therapist, and I actually read one of his textbooks on attachment while I was pg.

I really, really, really wanted to do the whole checklist of AP "requirements": breastfeeding, cloth diapering, babywearing.  Alas, we only managed co-sleeping.  BF was difficult as Rachel didn't have a good latch.  I did pump for a month, though.  Because of finances, I didn't get into the whole CD thing -- prefolds, all-in-ones, etc. -- and I didn't get the Maya wrap I desparately wanted.  Rachel ended up on an apnea monitor at 6 weeks, so I wouldn't have been able to use it, anyway.

Anyways, I am very much into trying to be in her world and understanding where she is coming from.  Another help in positive discipline is trying to reduce our stress.  DH is very helpful when I need a minute.  And we have arranged our schedule so that we are not running from one activity to another.

Sometimes I try not to brag about our parenting style.  I know it really is a crapshoot and if we had another child, he or she would be completely different.  But we are so proud of person Rachel is becoming.  I hope it's because of our help.  If not, I don't know why we were so lucky. :-)

So who would've thought  I'd even consider homeschooling?  In the old days (circa 10 years ago), I thought homeschoolers were just afraid of public schools -- for whatever reason.  Hey, I went to one of the toughest schools in Los Angeles and made it out alive. :-) (Hmmm...might not be too funny anymore)  Anyways, homeschooling was for wimps!

Then I got into attachment parenting.  I'm on a couple of local email lists and many AP parents homeschool.  Others were chatting about different groups and I just decided to join one of their email lists.  Perhaps I knew at that time that I was being laid off -- I can't quite remember.  Anyhow, I joined and when I got laid off, I started going to their functions.  Surprisingly, they were pretty much like me!  It happened to be an eclectic group.  They don't talk about religion or make judgements on how you homeschool, but they welcome anyone considering the option.  Rachel and I hung out with them and I started to see homeschooling as an extension of our attachment parenting.

AP is about being aware of your child's needs and meeting them as much as possible.  It didn't seem to make sense that after being with Rachel all that time, that we'd turn around and send her to school 7 hours a day.  Homeschooling started to make sense for me.  Unfortunately, circumstances can't allow it in the near future, but who knows?  Maybe one day.

Luckily, my husband is working from home at the moment and has agreed to homeschool.  We went to a homeschooling conference this summer and DH attended a session on gifted children.  It seemed to open his eyes in terms of parenting Rachel and he was willing to give homeschooling a try.

With a daughter turning 5 next summer, we are starting to look at schools.  If you would have known me five years ago, you would be shocked.  I had nothing against public schools.  DH and I went to some of the worst schools in California and we managed to get an education.  We are now in a bit better neighborhood than where we grew up, so I figured the schools would be fine.  But then we had Rachel.  I'm not sure she is gifted, but I believe she is a bit advanced for her age.  She is trying to read and we have no idea how she learned to write her letters.  I thought my mom taught her and my mom thought we taught Rachel.  Ummm...no.

Anyways, we've tried to put Rachel into preschool since she was 3.  You know, that whole "socialization" thing.  Unfortunately, we picked the wrong school.  It was recommended by a friend, but we found the staff to be amazingly detached.  Rachel was so excited to start school.  She went everyday without complaint, but we knew something wasn't quite right by the end of the summer session.  We didn't take her back for the fall.  And now whenever we go by the school, she asks that we not take her there. :-(

We did try another place for the fall, but by then the "damage" had been done.  Rachel didn't want to go to school.  As it happened, I was being laid off of work.  With the severance package, we decided I'd take a break and so it wasn't necessary that Rachel go to preschool.

And then, we discovered homeschooling!

I was invited by a minti member.  She was our wedding photographer and now we try to get her to take family pics from time to time.  We took some photos this past weekend at the beach.  She is just sooo wonderful with Rachel.  I know my hair was a mess, but I can't wait to see the photos!