so the casts came off today..... and we went home without any more on!!! in 2 weeks she had gained over 20degrees of movement in both feet. they are now both even, and classed as 'normal' now! she got an insert to put into her shoe to stop her from being able to get up on her toes easily in the shoes, and has to wear them for around 6 hours a day for the next few weeks. we dont have to go back to the physio till next month now. its just a matter of making sure the habbit of toe walking doesnt take over, as she could easily revert and undo all the work. if she does do that, then she will need more casting in the early months of next year.

im so glad it worked, it was worth it. to see how well she is walking now, though her ankle muscles are verry weak from being in the casts for 2 weeks, im glad we did it. we still have some home physio to do to help her strengthen the muscles, but they are all game type things, like tunnel ball, soccer games, walking on her heals only, things like that. and she can finally do those sort of things. although she used to always run on her toes, she couldnt play tunnel ball, she would always get top heavy and fall, its not easy bending over like that when your on your toes. she could kick a ball with amazing accuracy, and still can (we tried it today). the pool and bath were a big hit today as she hasnt been able to use either in 2 weeks.... man 2 weeks seems like such a long time.

so far so good.... i cant believe we made it this far, the worst has past, and the future holds minor adjustments in a worst case scenario.

well, we go back to the hospital for physio again tomorrow, and im hoping we will come home without casts on. so far she has done hardly any damage to the toes of this weeks casts, and the heals are worn pretty well. she has even started running heal toe! i guess i will be dissapointed if she does get the casts put back on, and she will probably be upset if she goes home without some. she has been telling everyone that she is going to get pink ones. i'll just be glad when i can hear her little feet on the tiles again, and she can feel grass on her feet. oh, and she can have a bath again!!! i'll be sure to update you tomorrow on how we go. hopefully its a good result!

ok, where to start. Yesterday was physio day again. we'll start with the cast removal and testing...

The cast removal was pretty standard for a fibreglass cast, they used the saw connected to a vacuum, she was really good about it, even though she was a little afraid of the noise she just let them do it. once we got to wash the stinky feet she got to hop down and have a walk around.... and she was pretty much FLAT footed. most of the steps she took were heal toe, which nearly made me cry, before the casting the best we could get was flat straight down, never heal toe. the casting had done what it was supposed to. she could even, for the first time in her life, stand flat footed and bend over and look at me between her legs. it was amazing! i didnt realise how much she couldnt do till now. because she was always on her toes, she would get off balance if she tried to bend over like that. now she can play tunnel ball!

next came the testing. they got charlotte to lay on her stomach like last time, and pushed her toes up towards her knees and used their little instrument to see how much range of motion she had, and she had gained 15 degrees in one week! it was amazing, totally worth it. hearing that she had made so much progress was just what i needed to keep me strong for the next week of casting, maybe even her last week depending on how well this one goes.

Then we had to re cast. this time it was a more uncomfortable one for charlotte, she had to wait for what seemed like half an hour for all the extra padding to be put in place, then the casting was more uncomfortable and tighter. they pushed her foot to it's limit, and it looked painful, then hold it there untill the cast had set. my poor little girl was laying there, clearly in discomfort, and i  couldnt do anything about it, i had actually taken her there to get it done...

So now, Charlotte has purple casts, that hold her toes off the ground, she is litterly being forced to walk on her heals. and the count down begins again... while i was at the physio i asked again how common this condition is, as i have been continually told that it is quite common, and was promptly told that the paediatric physio does on average 4 per YEAR! at a teaching hospital, they only do 4 a year... how common is that? to me i would say it's rare. the treatment is done for club feet aswell, so those 4 they do a year is for toe walking, and club feet put together.... talk about misinformation. no wonder i cant find anyone else who has had to do this

so im not comming to terms that there is no one around here that has to have this done to their child. the response i have gotten from even family and friends is that it is a bit extreem. only 1 more day till she gets the casts off, and i can see if it was slightly worth it....

i cant believe that we have actually made it to day 5. im sick of people looking at charlotte like she is suffering, then looking at me questioning if i had done this to her. i tried to make jokes about it, but now i dont want to leave the house.

the whole process is taking a toll on me, and my husband who is trying really hard, but forgets the things we need to avoid, like having her help hose off the cob webs around the back of the house. so far we have had to give her 2 showers, which is really hard and stressfull. we have been wrapping her casts in cling wrap then plastic shopping bags, and taping them to her legs, but some how the water still gets in. i have mastered washing 2 babies and myself (and their hair) in less than 5 mins, then hubby stands at the ready with towels and scissors to get the bags of quick in case there is any water in there.

charlotte is smart for her age, at 2 she thought she was clever and started telling everyone where wee and poo came from, so it comes as no suprise to me that she figured out her current situation pretty fast. she knows that everyone is giving her sympathy, so she is playing on it as much as possible. she'll stop walking and say to me "i cant walk, carry me" even in the middle of the shops when people are looking. i know that she can walk, she needs too, that's the point of the casts, to break the habbit. but still she tries these things. she has turned into a wanna be spoilt brat. i have not given her any special treatment since the casting, but she still thinks she can push the limits.

there has been some progress though, she has taken some of the colour off of the heals of the casts, though not much. she now keeps her knees bent most of the time, so that she can still stay on her toes, and the casts are still being used as a weapon.

this process had better work. i wish there were someone who had gone through this who could tell me it's going to work, or show me someone who it has worked for. it just seems like they are putting us through hell, for little gain. atleast she still functions i guess. they casts dont bother her at all, she even thinks getting a bandaid put on her blisters is fun....

so we are now up to day 3 of charlotte's serial casting for her toe walking. so far she has learnt to bend her knees when she walks (a previously un noticed problem. it wasnt till she got the casts on that we noticed she didnt know to bend), she has figured out that if she walks with the heals of the casts she can make them clunk on the floor. which is good, because the point of the casts is to get her on her heals, but it drives me nuts when she uses them to break food up on the floor. she has worn away the front part of the casts on the bottom from trying to walk on her toes with them on, and has a massive sore on one big toe, where a blister formed and ripped off. she has damaged the casts so badly in 3 days, i dont know how much will be left by friday when she gets them changed. i even had to get my father in law to cut some of the fibreglass off of the toe area because she had almost filed it to a razor sharp point. under her toes are getting rubbing sores on them aswell.

on the up side, she still has only asked to take them off, and that was only because we dont wear shoes in the house. she doesnt complain about them. (except for when i have to clean under her toes) she walks and runs and plays like nothing has changed, and they seem to slowly be making a difference with her walking.

im wondering though, how many other parents are dealing with this same thing? why is it that it took my child going through it for me to know this problem even existed? (it was similar to my youngest when she had bad reflux, i didnt know they had amazing medication to help till i went through 3 months of constant crying and blood speckled vomit)

as parents we need to start talking about the bad things as well as the good things. after 2 bouts of pnd and being a young mum, i have decided the 'cone of silence' does not apply to me. i will tell it how it is, even if only to those i know, motherhood isn't always nice, and it doesnt always come naturally!!! i'd scream it from the roof tops if i knew how to get on my roof... with no ladder.