There are a lot of wifes tales and misinformation about almost every medical and health situation that can exist. I'm going to briefly explain a few and bust open some BS myths, because my ribs hurt from laughing too hard at reading things about them.

• Girls - thrush is a yeast infection. Yeast is a type of fungi. There is a condition whereby the Ph balance of a woman's vagina can become too acidic or alkaline and get itchy as a result and that can be eased with a heap of home remedies. However, thrush can be easily identified from that problem because it also creates a horrid thick milky white discharge (note: some sexually transmitted infections can create the same effect, if thrush treatment doesn't work, see a doctor). There is nothing besides medical remedies that you can put inside yourself to get rid of it that won't cause you more harm, although some will temporarliy ease some symptoms. There is nothing you can swollow to make it better. It can be spread to your sexual partner. If you are being treated for thrush, your partner needs to be treated as well. Even if he's showing no symptoms, he can still be carrying it and will keep passing it back to you.
• Sexually transmitted infections and diseases don't show symptoms in 80% of cases for a very long time, months, even years, sometimes never; but are still able to be spread to others. Just because you don't have any itching, burning, or strange discharge, it doesn't mean you haven't caught something if you have unprotected sex. The only way to find out for sure is a blood and urine test.
• The various strains of Hepatitis are far more common than HIV and are just as deadly and far more contageous, and can be spread through contact with any bodily fluid.
• Many common vaginal infections can be avoided by, when going to the toilet, wiping from the front to the back so as to not spread bacteria from the anus to the vaginal opening. For those inclined to do so, any kind of anal penetration "device" should be thoroughly cleaned before being used elsewhere. Could I have put that any more politely? I think not.
• Tonsilitis is a viral infection. So are most colds and flus. Anti-biotics help combat bacterial infections, but they do nothing for viral infections, so running off to get anti-biotics from a doctor if you get tonsilitis or a cold will stop you from suffering extra bacterial infections, but it won't cure the problem you're suffering from.
• If you have a cold or flu, you can dose yourself up with all the cold and flu medication you like and you will do a good job of easing the symptoms, but it won't go away. Just because you feel a bit better because the cold medications are keeping your nose clear and your hearache at bay, you can still pass it around to everyone else.
• Most contageous diseases become contageous and can be spread around long before the symptoms show. Your child most likely caught chicken pox 2 weeks ago from another kid that was showing no symptoms at the time, not the kid that broke out in spots only yesterday. Your child has probably also been passing it around to other kids in the past 2 weeks as well. Quit blaming people and deal with it.
• You've had a few fractures but never a broken bone huh? BS! A fracture is the medical term for a broken bone. There are different types. A greenstick fracture is a fracture along the length of the bone that hasn't totally broken through. A compound fracture is a bone that is cracked in multiple places. A complicated fracture is when a bone that has been damaged has caused other nasty injuries such as muscles, tendons, etc; most commonly by sharp edges of the bone cutting and tearing through the fleshy bits. A complete fracture is one that is totally cracked through. Simply put, if you have a fracture you have a broken bone, it's just the type of break that varies.
• Head lice, although annoying, are not a health risk and they don't jump or fly. They can only crawl and they get around by swinging from hair strand to strand. They also can't live off the human head for more than 72 hours maximum. They prefer clean hair. The best way to avoid them is to keep hair tied up so they can't swing from the loose strands on one head to another. Put whatever you like in your kids hair, it won't stop them being infested unless what you're putting in their hair is stopping the loose strands from flying around.
• Ringworm is a fungal infection. Although we can catch it from cats, it's more common for cats to catch it from us. Warts are also a fungal infection. We can't catch them from toads because toads don't have warts, they just look like they do.
• Just because we are susceptable to venomous snake and spider bites, it doesn't mean cats and dogs are. The Sydney Funnel Web spider is highly toxic to humans, but not to cats and dogs. If you see that your cat or dog has been poisoned by something, get them to a vet but presume nothing unless you actually saw it get bitten. Most snake bites look and feel more like a little scratch from a small stick, they don't go leaving vampire like fang marks. Spider bites are the same, they look more like a mosquito bite. All spiders are venomous, but less than 1% are in any way harmful to humans. Most snakes aren't venomous at all. No need to go rushing someone to hospital if they got bitten by something until they start to feel ill - unless of course you know for certain the animal was harmfully venomous or you're a long way from a hospital. Most snake and spider bites won't likely kill you even if they are highly toxic for a few hours at least, so don't panic. Panicking will only speed up the spread of the venom. The venom travels through the lymphatic system, not the blood system.
• You're bruised but that's okay because you're not bleeding? Guess what! If you're bruising you are bleeding, it's just internal bleeding that isn't leaking out of your body all over the place.
• If you are bleeding, unless you've cleanly severed a major artery or have haemophilia, chances are you won't bleed to death, so don't panic. The body has a wonderful system called peripheral shutdown, where if it loses too much blood it will stop supplying blood to everything but major organs, and as such, the cut on your arm or leg will stop bleeding. Unfortunately most people fall unconscious by this stage, but they still usually survive. So to those that want to cut their wrists, you may as well forget it, because unless you know exactly how and where to do it, you'll most likely wake up the next day feeling like a right fool.
• Being punched in the nose will not send pieces of bone into the brain and kill someone. For a start, the nose is mostly made from cartilage. They are more likely to drop dead from the impact rattling their brain and making it hit their scull and cause internal bleeding of the brain, in the same way as shaking a baby can kill.
• Guys - putting your legs together to protect yourself from being hit in the groin is a good idea, unless you have already been hit. If you've copped a blow to the groin, you'll better withstand the pain if you keep your legs apart and let em hang loose as it will ease the pressure on them, which is what makes it hurt so much. Girls, if you seriously need to drop a guy to his knees for any reason, you're probably better off taking out his kneecaps. Chasing after someone for any distance with two dislocated kneecaps just doesn't work. I know, I've tried it.
• When a body joint cracks when you stretch - unless you're like me and have a few joints that regularly dislocate - it's not the bones cracking, it's the ligaments that are making that noise and it does no harm unless you stretch way too far and something tears or dislocates - and you'll know when that happens because it hurts like hell. Cracking knuckles and the like does not cause arthritis, in fact it's more likely to delay the onset of one type of arthritis which is a good thing. It may sound horrible, but pop and crack away!
• If someone is trying to strangle you, relax, breath through your nose, and turn your head as far as you can to the the side. Either side, whichever is easiest at the time. They will need to use more force than is normally humanly possible to block off your airway because your neck muscles are stronger than their hands. Most people that die from strangulation do so because they panic and try to breathe through their mouth and keep their head facing forward. If they change their grip, turn your head to the other side. There is one choke hold that will knock a person out by blocking the flow of blood to the brain via the carotid arteries in the neck, but it's a specialized hold that almost no one knows how to do properly. You'll know it if you get caught by it because you'll be unconscious in a few seconds.
• You can't die as a result of hyperventilating because as soon as you fall unconscious your body starts to breathe normally again. The same with holding your breath or trying to strangle yourself with your own hands.
• You can not swollow your own tongue - unless of course it's been cut off and fed to you. However, your tongue can block your airway if your head is in the right position for it to do so. Tilt the head back and whaa-la the tongue is now out of the way.
• If a man and woman that are both white-skinned and both have dark-skinned heritage within a few generations of them have a baby together, it is unlikely but still genetically possible for them to have a dark-skinned baby.
• Many genetic conditions skip generations, and sometimes the DNA of the parent without the condition over-rides the DNA of the parent that does have it. Just because you have something genetic, it doesn't mean your kids will automatically get it. Of course, it doesn't mean they won't get it, it's all a mathematical probability game of hit and miss. Gender is also a game of hit and miss, if you want to make sure your baby is a specific gender, get a grip on reality and adopt one that's already been born.
• If you want to find out the gender of your baby before it's born, have an ultrasound at around 20 weeks and ask. Don't bother trying to guess by what foods you're craving because that is purely determined by what minerals and vitamins your body wants more of at the time. The position of the baby (sitting more forward or back, high or low) is determined by the position of the placenta, which forms wherever in the uterus the fertilised egg landed, not by the gender of the baby. Although guessing can be fun, if you want to know for sure, have an ultrasound.
• Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASD) in children are not caused by vaccines. Although some vaccines (mmr being the most commonly targetted) do contain the tiniest amount of mercury, it is not enough to cause any physical harm to anyone. ASD's are most likely to occur in premature babies where one or both parents have (or had as a child) an ASD. High mercury levels can cause ASD like symptoms, but do not actually cause ASDs. We all absorb far more mercury from eating fish, particularly large predatory fish, and from industrial polution. Having high lead levels creates exactly the same effect and children are far more likely to have high lead levels than they are high mercury levels. It is estimated that up to 40% of children living in Western Sydney could have lead levels above the maximum health regulations - but who gets their kids tested for that eh? Well, besides people that live in lead mining towns that are aware of this stuff - like me.
• Could you be pregnant? If you have had unprotected sex it is quite possible. How can you tell if you're pregnant? Wait until your period is over-due and get tested. How simple is that eh?