A mother passing by her teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the bed. It was simply addressed "MUM"......with the worst premonition she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mum

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you, I had to elope with my new boyfriend, John because I wanted to avoid a scene with dad and you.   I've been finding real passion with John and he is so nice, even though he is 54, divorced (I think) and on parole, and also with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and motorcycle clothes.   But it's not only the passion mum, I'm pregnant and John said that he will take care of me and we will be very happy.   He already nearly owns a caravan on the outskirts of Wagga and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.   John taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and also for trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.   In the meantime I ask that you pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it.   Don't worry mum, I'm nearly 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself.   Some day we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.   

Your daughter, Nikki

P.S. None of the above is true. I'm next door. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card which is in my desk drawer. I love you.....please call me when it is safe for me to come home