Well I have had a lovely day. A friend gave me a massage voucher. So off I went to have my neck, back and shoulders massaged. Gee it was lovely. Then I had my eyebrows and eye lashes tinted. Then it was off to the hairdressers, and I thought I needed a colour and cut. So away from kids and husband for 5 hours I have come home to no little Sophie running around(my mum has come and picked her up for the night) my house is quite but I feel so relaxed. We are off to Matts friends for tea tonight so it's good to go out and not worry about Soph getting tired. Becky and Shanny are coming with us. They are fine when we are out.

Hope fully tomorrow and the next day and the next I will still feel like this.

Oh and the weather is crap here in Perth. The kind where you just want to curl up on the lounge. Must go and get ready now.

Have a great weekend everyone

Tracey

Well it's been a while since I have written anything. I sit back and read everyone elses, highs and lows. I think I do this to forget about my own problems. It's just easier this way.

I don't know what is wrong with me lately one minute I'm all good and the next I'm sad don't want to be here. I don't know how to control my temper with Becky(stepdaughter) I seem to pick on the smallest things with her. Lately I ask myself why? And I have no answers. Am I happy being here married ? One day I am the next I'm not.

Everyday I go through this. Matt is going to the UK for 2 weeks, so I think this is a good time for both of us to sort out what we want. I know he loves me and I do love him, but sometimes I just can't keep living like this knowing that I'm hurting him just because I don't know what I want. This may sound like it's all over the show, but I think that is how I am have the time.

I block it out because I don't want to think of it. I hide it from my closest friends too. I have talked to my mum about it. She says to do what is best . She also told me that Matt spoke to her and said" I don't think we will be together by christmas" that hurt when I found out.But it could be true.

Anyway best go and keep thinking of whats going on in my head.

Confused

I have had the busiest week. Since Friday I have had 1 of my best friends 2 girls. So that makes it 5 girls to cook, clean for, wash clothes, and keep in line. Plus I had to work today. I praise all those parents out there with more than 3 kids, because it never ends. By 8.30 pm the last of the girls go to bed so I just veg out on the lounge, by 9.30pm I'm so tired that I have to go to bed too.

Mind you the girls have been pretty good, they just play and destroy my house.

On the other hand I have had my friends prado to drive, because I can't fit them all in my car. So I'm not looking forward to giving it back.Thank god matt has finished night shift . Not that he doesn't do anything, he does help out. Like he is cooking tea right now while I'm on here.

Anyway must go and get children bathed.

Have a good night.