so this period that was over 9 months late was that in my head too oh this makes me so mad i have this website with a password where i can make my appointment so now its more waiting omg here we go again what did i say was gonna happen grr , i returned home to a letter rom homefinder i was exited before i even opened it theyu only writer to you with good news as puffy as my face was from sobbing i was smiling i opened it guess what ???????????????????????????????????

im moving yay yay yay , im a successful Well today has been both a good day and also a bad day if that makes sense ? Well i got up at 6.30 so i was ready and properly awake to get kylie up at 7 and me and chloe snuggled on the sofa at 7 i opened the door and let chloe wake kylie while i fixed their brekkie after brekie i got chloe dressed and ready and kylie got her uniform on exept her tie and socks which i put on for her i had already platted her hair up the night before so that wasnt a problem and we was actually out the door for 8am wow 1st day of term and on time i need a reward hehe , while i was on my way to the school i attempted calling the drs finally on y way back i finally got through , i said i needed an appointment with dr steinforth she said all appointments are fully booked and read offf all the other drs names i said no ur not hearing me right I NEED AN APPOINTMENT WITH DR STEINFORTH THIS MORNING she then explained he was fully booked i had to see someone else well as u all know im fed up with them thinknig they can choose who and when i see the dr , i said ok listen to me for god sake shut up  , there was silence wow , i went on to say i had an operation on friday that went titts up i am in agony and i have been waiting all weekend to see DR STEINFORTH  and offered me 1 at 6pm me being me this wasnt good enough i said that is hours away its only 9am im in agony now so she said hang on , she came back funny enough she has a appointment with DR STEINFORTH  at 11am , yes i was rude in fact i was very rude but i got my appointment with MY dr  , barryu decided he was coming too so i left chloe with my dad , i told him outside the surgery it was up to him if he came in but i was going to be telling the truth to the dr ,exactly how i feel at the moment but he decided he was coming anyway the receptionist seemed to give me funny looksbarry asked wat her prob was i told him it was probeerly cos my appointment was made and they said if its not a medical emergency her job is on the line the waiting room was full so i spotted a chair outside steinforths room so we sat there , finally we got called in , so i explained everything my report from the ops were not there which made things a bit complicated to find out about this blood but he has said once its back hewill call me and explain whats going on there and also anyhing else it shows , he was shocked himself he said i thought it ewas going to come back with eithr pid/cpid or endo but yuet we have nothing , i told him ther pain is real bad i cant eat and look after my kids properly i also said the morphine is not touching it aand neither are any of the other meds im taking he gave me the choice of what to try next so this is our plan nnow not that its a good onee but we cant al get what we want , he gave me an appointment for me to go to the gastroenterology clinic (bowel clinic) tests will be run op if nessesary which im not sure i could go through with if all fails there i need to go to the chronic pain clinic , yeaah chronic pain clinic sounds like a place they will find out why you have chronicpain ? well i did anyway well no its quite the oppisite this is a place for people LIKE ME  who have a chronic pain usually same area as mine or surrounding area but there actually is no reason for them to be in pain at all where they give u this drug and drugs like what i have been given today its called pregabalin which i have read up on and it is used for peripheral and central neuropathic pain , epilepsy and generalised anxiety disorder , my doctor said it is a good drug for pain thought they couldent give me more than morphine ? Although he said when i first start raking it i will feel more like a 82  yr old thaan a 22 yr old in the mind and it treats pai n that morphine and the tabs im on doesnt dont get me wrong i do still have to take what i already am just these aswell , he wasnt goinbg to give me anymore pain relief but i was in such a state with all the pain i been in i made the doc cry can u believe that and he agreed to give me these tabs but i do have to paly by the rules he has given me instructions and he wrote it so i gain a tab in the day and at night every 3 days until im taking 3 twice a day , so basically its all in my head , well he wont say that but thats what they are saying after all we all know u cant have a pain for no reason , but he told me rthe truth , he also does not think this is a bowel problem but checking wouldent hurt , and he explained vewry carefully in my frame of mind that i need to prepare myself not to get a answer for my pain , so i been here thinknig bidder hehehe , i called the area manager immediatly to orginize to see the size of the bedrooms , at the moment it is actually being decorated painted carpet etc , and we can go and measure up on monday he did say friday it will be ready but barry wants to see he is a big kid , well the bedrooms are large and there is a cupboard big enough to make into another bedroom which we are going to use as a music room / play room not sure yet as im sick of seeing guitars everywhere as he has 8 of them and with amps and pedals wires and stuff it gets in the way , so yay we are moving hopefully next week yay yay can u tell im exited , thewn at 12 i went to pick kylie up from school and get my medication we went home and we have had a very stressful afternoon but now kids are in bed and its me time

hope you all had a good day and not as hecticv as mine

luv emz xxx