Hi Jo,

Yes i dont think she deserves to squirm away but saying that they were meant to call me last night to let me know her side of the story but funny enough no call. I have to if i dont how many more women will there be being a gyne nurse she deals with this stuff all the time.Yes i get an apology and they rekon she wont be working with anybody having a miscarriage but why shouldi believe a word they say 2 days ago now i was told i could have a complaint face to face and she would call back for the time and all but ive heard nothing yet . But with my foetus not being recorded i want to know where the hell it is and i will make sure she tells me i hope it wasnyt put inthe bin thing that gets me is it was with the clots the clots went for testing so say so what about the foetus ? has she taken it out ? There were clots in the bottom and over the top of it she even pointed out to barry and i swear on my kids life and i wouldent do that unless i was sure it was the foetus. Barryu finally came out wirth how he saw iit yesterday to his mate he saw it as a manky big toe and lkike i said it was bklack and white thats not a clot i know i was in shock biut barry wasnt . I think the memorial is a fantyastic idea Also barry has dediacated mariah carey new song bye bye i think its going a bit too far but still thats fine . when he feels sad he puts it on . I hids it from barry you know its notwhat he needs to see all he needed to know was it had gone but she took it off me. pointed it all oyut to him then gave us 5 mins befor ei killed her . Now i do wish i had brought it home and burried it at least i would know where it is.

Luv Emz xx

Hey Kellz,

Yep it sure is . I have a bit of a wait for some councelling so 1 day at a time is the best way to go i dont think i am going to get over this for a while so i am just going to take it slowly . Im not either to be honest thats the first thing i said funnythat isnt it dont like the mediia do you?? What they dont realise is this is only the start i was going to leave it after the complaint and the story getting publlished but seems none of it is in my noteswhich i will have proof off im just waiting for an application form to request my notes and my doc is going to call me as soon as she recxieves my notes . Im going citizens advice 21st may so i will also ask them then what i can do about this mean arnt i .

I cant believe chloe is talking its great though cos now she can tell me when Kylie has hurt hwer as i know its been happening alot lately it was a point of catchinmg her . Tonight while i was cooking their dinner they were in their room i heard a big thump and chloe cry i ran straight to her as i knew she was hurtand she started pointing at Kytlie i asked her what happeed how did you bang she said kyie nauty Kyie hurt . Finally she could tell me . kylie had shouted she fell of the bed but wheni questioned her further and she knew she wasnt squirming out of it she admitted chloe climbd in her buggy and she pushed her out by tipping it upside down . She had no sweet after her meal and she had 5 mins timeout . I hope the mine doesent come out just yet but its only a matter of time she wont be long and she be talking properly bless her such a clever girl.

Luv Emz xxx

My very own pooh bear,

Yes i think so we will have to see if they call me tonight after she gets called in the office . Yes its lovely isnt it obviously we never had a name so it will be just stating the date and baby angel always remembered. obviously you have to pay for it but it will be worth it it was created by torbay hospital and the miscarriage assosiation it was demanded by parents throughout torbay. Peace ?? i dont think i know what that is LOL.

Yes but at least she hasnt learnt to talk back yet she only says nice things thank god. She can also say Kylie naughty and hurt so now she can tell me with actions and words when kylie hurts her or what has happened its great nothing like good communication. Such a clever girl love her so much .

Luv Emz xxx

Hey Cath.

Yes i have to be.If i carry on mopping about with all whats happening it will drive me mad. Yes it sshould be interesting i will be holding myself tight in the seat so i dont get up and hit her lol. I hope she is in big trouble.Hopefully its going to all be over soon.

Luv Emz xxx

Hey Matey,

Im getting there matey . She must be out her mind i swear i think she is sick to be honest just thinking of her makes me heave. . No it shouldnt its disgusting . Apology is just that a start . The matron is meant to be calling me tonight for a update of what was said zas she gets pulled at 9.15 but we will see .

Luv Emz xxx

Hi DA ,

Yes i do want to know that might sound a bit sick but if its not in the notes and its not where it was (in the urine sample along with the clots) In the bottle was obviously my urine very bloody . Admitedly there were clots at he bottom but most of the sample was wwhat i think she called the groceries. I wouldent say it was a baby but i will say it was beginning to form it was black and white . She told me i had had a full miscarriage by the looks of it because it was whole i didnt let her examine me until barry arrived and i was left with this sample . She went off to phone him to tell him to hurry up but he was already on his way i put the containerr on the table and laid down until i heard barrys and my dads voices and i wrapped it in tissue which she brought it to me in and clenched holdof it in my hand. Itold barry i had had a full miscarriage he asked how i knew and i said cos its in this very cubicle right now. She took it off me and gave it to him . He said to her is this it ? She said yes we need to examine myself to see if the cervix is closing back up or weather there is any bits that have come off and she could hopoefully get them . Luckily my cervix was closing and the bleeding was slowing down sothey could actually examine me. I lost it in that comode i nkow that for ssure .

At the hospital they have a heartsease garden for all the babys lost it was created by the miscarriage assosiation and i can get a small plaque of rememberance Barry thinks it will help amnd we can say goodbye properly it will only be me barry and the girls . I just have to wait for the forms to come through the post.

Luv Emz xxx

Heyu Helen ,

I doont think she has the right to squirm away from what she done she can see what her heartless actions have done . What they dont yet realise though is i want it in writting too . I will put her through hell i will demand to know where she put it as she hasnt even written it down . Ive been told the clots have gone for testing buit the foetus was with the the clots so i want to know what the sick cow has done to it.

I wont let her get away with this its disgusting im suppossed to be grieving but how can i ? Be interesting to see my notes hopefully i will be able to pick them up when i take my written complaint in it cant get lost that way . Theere is enough missing as it is i will hand it to the person that needs it.

Luv Emz xxx

Hey Fi,

Oh its going to be so hard not to im a bit worried about that as Barry will be at work so there will be nobody to hold me back because i so want to last night i was planning onm going to pay her a visit but not allowed . Amazing isnt it 1 day its a clot next its a foetus and all of a sudden i have a right to complain bit funny she got a fax from the reporter last night which she rekons she knows nothing about . There is no way she was getting away with this and i will fight for my angel.

Luv Emz xxx

We will all be behind you every step of the way. As if she didn't get the fax..... hmmm looks like someone's telling porkies to me! You are so right... how amazing that it can change from a clot to a foteus! You'll be fine when it comes to the face to face....I can just see it now.... you're gonna put the fear of god into that woman and deserevedly so.

fi xoxo

Hey Fi,

Yes i think so too its very strange they recieved a fax then the next afternoon i suddenly have a phonecall. I havent a clue what my notessay as the hospital havent yet given them to my dr allthey got was a call to say i had been in hospital and hada miscarriage. 1 day i only saw clots the next she admits it was a foetus and i go from being told if i complain she will do nothing to my complaint is going through stupid people need to make up their minds. Oh i will put herthrough hell when i get this meeting and we will see then if she is happy with herseklf for what she done to us. Also i hope she buys the herald express it should be in there by the beginning of next week. Things are moving fast alot faster than the hospitsal .

Luv Emz xxx

Hey Letti,

Strange isnt it sweetie . She is going to be in big trouble me thinks . I thought notes ewere meant to be done no matter what but i could be wrong. I really hope the councelling works i need sleep i told barry e should get some councelling to but he refuses he says he will deal with it in his own way he seems to think the answer is at the bottom of a bottle but as of tomorrow he isnt allowed any beer . Love ya sweetie ur an angel

Emz xxxx