I am still here in my little corner just been feeling rather low and you guys didnt need to listen to my stupid thoiuughts. But i am going yto ask my doctor to change my anti depressants or something because really they are pointless i still feel the way i did 6 months ago if not worse. Ive spent the last 3 days messed up in my feelings . Think my body is making myself grieve i dont know maybe its the gang rape anniversary coming up the anniversary is saturday . It will be 10 years since the attack .
I have so much going round in my head right now . LIfe is so cruel . I cant believe im even taking the pill i agreed to 2 months not 5 months for god sake 9i cant do anohter 3 months on the pill . We need to start trying again . I want a full brother or sister for my little Chloe is that so muxh to ask. Then last night my heart shattered.
I have this friend her name is Anne. She tells me everything vise versa . At least i thuoght she did. Then last night she spilled a whole lot of beans . What i found out totally broke my heart. Anne is a mum to me an dshe hass a very special place in my heart those of you that dont know me and my mother well we are enemies. SHE IS married to an abuser and she chose him over me. ANYWAY last night she told me about this guy she has been seeing please bear in mind this very special friendis 62 years old and drawing her pension.
So anyway she ha been seeing this guy the last 6 months or so sheh as been absolutly besotted with him. Although he is married that alone is wrong i know and ive given her my opinions on this . Our friend Catthy hates him and i could never undrstand why. You could ask nne and she will tell you she loves this guy to bits and cherishes the ground he walks on.
The last few days she has doppe hints that she wasnt happy you know. Asking if i thought she was being used ? If i thought he would ever leave his wife etc. But last night she shocked me we were talking about things with anne i talk deeply anne does the same; She told me she has been lending him money. Doesent sound too bad but over the time its adding up 300 here 2000 there 80 over there you get my point he is robbing her blind he says he needs it for bills , food to put on the table the otheer day she gave him 80 apparantly to keep his phone on . Anyway she gave me the ammounts i added it up and he owes her over 13000 . Seh has told him she needs smoe money bk for food etc as she was totally skint but he wouldent give her a penny . This makes me so mad she is very close to my heart and i wont see her being played for a fool. Ive told her i know she loves him she does she is truely and madly in love but she has tro end it !!!!! She is going to invite him over and tell him she nees her money back little will he know she isnt the only one there i will be there too only i will hide in her bedroom and give him the suprise of his life.
I mean this guy made her pay 300 for a 2 days away in a caravan with him on the moores .
Anyway i will ssshhh now and go and see what everyone else has been up to
Much Love Emz xxxx | 
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