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Talking Back Member » emmie » Blog » Archive » December 2008

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Nov
 

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31
Dec
2008
emmie

Happy New Year All.

by emmieComment Published at 11:3111:318 comments8 comments19 Visits19 VisitsReport

Im simply not going to get chance to get round to wish e verybody a happy new year . So i hope you all have a good one .Lets all make sure we kiss goodbye 2008. LOL . Hopefully 2009 will be a fantastic year for all.

Much Love & Hugs xxxx

30
Dec
2008
emmie

CHLOE.. BLOG

by emmieComment Published at 22:2522:2510 comments10 comments34 Visits34 VisitsReport

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LOVE CHLOE XXX

333[

28
Dec
2008
emmie

Christmas was good.

by emmieComment Published at 23:3923:3910 comments10 comments25 Visits25 VisitsReport

Well the girls had a great christmas they loved every minute of it. Me and Kylie qwent to nannys christmas eve for an hour .I needed to give her her present and card and Kylie was busting to see nanny . But as nanny isnt well i said we would go there and miss Chloe would stay with daddy (she would only jump over nanny ) . She really isnt with it at the moment poor thing . My nan got the girls a coat each thy are absolutly beautiful. Well my aunt jane did but it was from my nan and only because my nan was and is unable to at the moment, i arranged to pick her up on boxing day for lunch.

While i was at nannys Barry and chloe went to get my dad and buster. Dad is always here for chistmas well up untill this year. He played with the girls all afternoon while i got everything sorted ready for christmas. Before i went to bed i put the girls stocking s outsaide their rooms from santa. Even though Kylie has figurd out im santa thugh i am still in denial of that, plus Carl helped out and told her that he has phoned santa and he told him he was bringing her the 3 presents she wished for plus and extra one and she was happy with that.

They woke up at 6am they couldent believe theor eyes when they saw all the presents . Chloe managed to open her presents by herself this year which made it even better . They had a sofa each and they were both half filled with pressies. I got the girls mostly presents that they need to use their imagination , read and concentrate mostly because of kylies learning difficulties i guess. Mind you kylie wasnt happy chloe got a lucky charm necklace and she never and chloe threw a paddy cos kylie has a watch and she doesent. Sisters huh?

Then they had brekkie and i cleaned up and prepared dinner while grampy and daddy played with the girls with their new toys. We had pork , steak and beef for the meat with dinner i didnt cok it though. Was a vbit disappoited i could only eat the pork because i have a wobbly tooth . Yes i kow i should go dentist but its finding the time. The girls didnt get to bed til gone 8 there was too much excitement going on LOL.

Boxing day i made a lovely bufffet my kinda cooking LOL . Made some pastries , sausage rolls , micky mouse faces , chicken bits , sausages , salad eetc. If i had a decent appetite i would have eaten the whole lot. It all looked so yummy. At the end of it i was absolutly knackered and a tad stressed . So went to bed to lie down wasnt allowed to go  sleep though barrya nd my dad kept waking me up ggrrr. I went to annes for a cuppa  but had to come back as a letter was put thrugh my door from neighbour from hell which annoyed me very  much.

Dad went home the day after . Since ive been trying to sort this place out but both the girls are sick so its a bit of a challenge . 2 nights of sleepless nights too. 1st night kylie wet the bed so we slept together in the lounge. Then i washed her matress yesterday and put her in chloes bed and put the travel cot up for chloe. She woke up at 2am and she had been sick in her bd lucky it was just the pillow so i just xchanged the pilow and her top and got her back to bed then at 4am chloe woke up and would not resettle she is now sick too . So we settled back down on the sofa and then at 5 kylie came in saying she has been sick this time its all over the bed.

Chloe has gone back to bed with daddy and kylies laid on the sofa lifeless. Now i havee 2 beds to  sort out 2 sick kids and this place needs sorting too we are meant to be having friends coming round for rthe new year .

Anyway this will proberly be my last blog this year so happy new year to you all

Luv Emz xxx

24
Dec
2008
emmie

Happy Christmas

by emmieComment Published at 12:2812:2811 comments11 comments22 Visits22 VisitsReport

I just wanted to say i hope everyone has a wonderful christmas with their families. Also i want to say

For to all of you that have supported methis year. I cant explain how much it really does mean to me you guys are amazing and I love you all

Love Emz xxx

22
Dec
2008
emmie

Time is running out !!!!

by emmieComment Published at 23:0523:056 comments6 comments16 Visits16 VisitsReport

Gosh i cant believe its going to be christmas eve tomorrowIts gone by soooo quick . Girls are so excited. Still so much to do and such little time. Today i have to go into town aas i need to get Barry a few more bits . Some boots and a nice fleece or something to go with the rest of his presents. I also need to get Chloe another present I am going to get her an all in one suit for bed and hers are getting too small and its so cold at the moment.

Plus my avon came yesterday so i best get it all delivered before christmas so im gonna takre that round this afternoon and after im done im going to go to sainsbrys stock up on doughnuts for christmas hehehe and grab some veggies and salad for christmas dinner. I dont like veggies so this year im having salad instead. YUM  and meat of course.

Ive also got to get my nans christmas present over to her. She is going to my aunties christmas day so ive arranged to have her picked up and she is coming for lunch on boxing day. BTW we now know they have managed to get my nan a MRI scan for 28th december . Poor thing is so scared but ive told her she has nothing to worry about she just needs to lie there and it only lasts about 10 mins . I wish i could do it for her but tats no good cos i dont have cancer . Im more scared of the results.

Anyway before i start getting sad . This blog has been positive so far dont want to ruin it. My advocate rang meyesterday after she heard i was feeling very angry and upset . I told her the trust basically crushed everything i put to thehealthcare commission. She said not to worry as i do have a witness at the last meeting . So she said not to worry about it for the momentand dont let it ruin christmas and in the new year she will do a draft to it all and send me a copy and if im happy with it it will be going to parliamentary and health service ombudsman and the truth will also be told to the commission.

After that i got another call this time from phychology they finally have me an appointment which has been made for 30th december and then later in the day themental health team called me because my doc wrote to them saying i am really low at the moment and she is worried so they want to reassess  me so i have an emergency appointment for that on 5th january.

Anyway i better go Chloe is up and she says she wants brekfast

Love Emz xxxx

20
Dec
2008
emmie

NEVER forgotton ALWAYS remembered.

by emmieComment Published at 23:1223:1222 comments22 comments76 Visits76 VisitsReport

Today is supposed to be our day mytiny little Angel . In my heart it still is. Today you were meant to join our family to be loved and cherished forever. You arre still loved and cherished even though you havent shared the same air as us. I promise to never forget you . You were only with me 2 mmonths but that time was precious . I made plans for you you were going to have a perfect life with me. Butthat doesent mean you will be forgotton. You will never be forgot.

You my little perfect angel above were not strong enough to fight this world . Its a strong world my angel and im sosorry . You did have an existance my perfect little angel andi  will fight for you forever. I love you so much i can only wish i got to hold you properly . I held you not properly but i held you i had you with me.

I can only wish i could have brought you into this big world it would have been such a happy place for you i would have made sure of that. Butthat doesent mean i dont love you i love you very much ifi could have stopped this happening i would have but my hands were tied .

But when this world gets too tough for me i will join you in heaven and we will be together forever. I look forward to that day. Untill then let those angels take care of you i will love and miss you forever

Mummy XXXX

Does anyone know what today should be?
Anyone else or is it only me?

Does anyone know how great today would have been,
If you would have come now, instead of then.

It seems people forget; to them it is just another day.
But for me, I just can't think of it that way.

My heart aches and I can't stop the tears.
I keep on wishing that you were still here.

Others just don't understand why, today, I mourn.
Today is a special day; the day you should have been born

As I persue the aisles,
of the local store,
I see things more differently,
than I ever have before.

"Daddy's Little Angel",
the embroidered bibs do read.
But, Daddy's angel is in Heaven,
and bibs she does not need.

She does not need a bottle,
a dress or a toy.
Of buying those things for her,
we shall never know the joy.

There are tiny jars of baby food,
that she will never eat,
And shiny shoes with buckles,
that will never touch her feet.

As the bikes and trikes taunt me,
from high up on the rack,
Tears will break free from my eyes,
if I dare look back.

I run off to the restroom,
to blow my nose and cry.
I wipe my eyes, swallow hard,
and let out a sigh.

I must go face the paper,
college and wide rule,
That my little angel,
will never use in school.

I hurry past the greeting cards,
that the people chose with care,
And I am reminded,
of the holidays we shall not share.

In the checkout line I bow my head,
and heavy is my heart,
For the family right in front of me,
has a newborn in their cart.

Shopping in the local store,
used to be mundane.
Now every aisle's full of items,
which remind me of my pain.

So, quick as I can, I give the cashier,
the money from my purse,
And hurry away from those who don't know my pain,
in this foreignly happy universe. XXX

 

20
Dec
2008
emmie

Kylie decorated mmy kirchen .

by emmieComment Published at 17:1117:118 comments8 comments23 Visits23 VisitsReport

Kylie woke me up the oteher morning and her and chloe had robbed the fridge and eaten all the sandwich meat.Not a biggie it was like 6am if they are hungry they are hungry i guess. But then this morning at 2am kylie woke mr up mummy im really sorry .It was an accident.. I muttered what was an accident ? Ive had your cake sauce. Believe me i suddenly woke up. Looked at the time it was 2am.

There was kylieno top on red hand print across her tummy red hands red feet red PJS red walls red floor everything was red she had a bottle of food colouring argh and there was chloe stood in the fridge munching away. ARGH . Dontyou just love kids lol,

Ive been asleep all night fell asleep on te sofa didnt sleep too well last night. Well i best go apparantly i ahave to go to bed now pointless really cos im not tired. xxx

20
Dec
2008
emmie

Lies , lies lies more LIES !!!!!!!!!

by emmieComment Published at 02:1802:186 comments6 comments49 Visits49 VisitsReport

Decision following the review of your complaint.

I am pleased to say that I havenow completed my review of your complaint and i am writting to tell you my decision. I am also sending a copy of this letter to ................................... , the acting chief executive at ......................................................(the trust).

I have decided notto uphold your complaint. This is because I consider that the trust has taken appropiate action to resolve your complaint.  Therefore , I  am not making any reccomendations for further work to be carried out.

During my review , I have considered the complaints file and the healthcare records that I  haverecieved from the trust. , as well as the information you have provided. I have also taken advice from an independant clinical advisor., .......................... who is a consultant obsetrition and gynaecologist with relevent expertise.

You wrote to .............The trusst on 15 may 2008 to complain about the maner i which you were treated in hospital. You explained in great detail the sad events of your miscarriage that led to your coplaint.

Summary of the trusts response.

The trust wrote to you on 20 may 2008 to acknowledge your complaint. The trust stated you had confirmed in a telephone conversation that you had agreed fpr your complaint to be handled by ........................... matron for gynaecology services.

You recieved a formal response on 3 J une 2008. The trust offered its condolences toyou and accepted it had been a distressing and traumatic time for you. The trust also apologised for the delay in responding to you .. T he trust said that due to a number of resaons ....... could not assist with the investigation.

You remained unhappy with the response so the trust arranged a meeting with you with a view to resolving your complaint. You met with ...... and ............ consultant , on 16 june 2008. Another meeting was arranged for 14th august 2008 with yourself ............. and your ICAS advocate , who also made notes for the meeting.

I have considred below the issues you askede us to look at.

1: Delay in the accident and emergency department (A&E)

You explained that you had been suffering pains and bleeding for approximatly 23 hours. When you attended A&E you were told to sit and wait for someone. You explained thatin your wait you soiled your trousers , and that you were also passing small blood clots. You said that when you approached the "desk" you were told to go to the nurses station to seek assistance. You explained at this point you wentinto shock as you began to realise the reality of what was happening. You explaied you had spoke to a nurse who arrangd for you to be transferred to "resuss" .

The trust said that A&E obviously isnt the ideal enviroment for you to be seen in. The trust explained that ideally  , you would have beentransferred straight yo the gynaecology ward. The trust said that it was aware of the importance of sensitivity and privacy. The trust explainedthat when you atteneded A&E there were no available beds in the gynaecology ward.  The trust hadexplained it had taken steps  to address this by designating a room on the mccallum ward for women who may be miscarrying . The trust agreed it was unacceptable that you were not prioritised for immediate attention and apologised for this. The trust said that this practise would become part of the performance management in A&E . The trust said that it would confirm when the plan to have the designated room was complete.

When the trust forwarded the information to the healthcare commission it said that changes have been made in that women who are miscarrying are prioritised by both reception saff and the gynaecology team.

I asked the clinical advisor for his comments regarding this issue. The advisor is of the opinion the response was adequarte and appropiate. The advisor notes the ere major alterations were going on in A&E at the time which may have caused problems and delays.The advisor also notes that the trust has apologised for the situation and has explained that it has now improoved facilities for misarryng patients. The advisor says the action taken to improove is appropiate.

Decision.

When reviewing a complaint it is always reassuring to note when a mistake has been recognised and apologised for.It is also reassuringto note that the trust has takenn action to prevent a recurrence of simular events. Both the clinical advisor and i hae noted the action taken , and its considered that this action is appropiate. Withthis in imnd i will not ask for further work to be carried out.

2: Inappropiate comments.

You explained that after were moved to the resussitation area a doctor told you things would be "OK", as it " was only a miscarriage" . .

The trust sid thatconfirmed that you were seen by .................................... , who denied saying "it was only a miscarriage".

Your ICAS advocate forwarded your indeoendant review form to the healthcare commission on 6 october 2008.

Decision.

From reviewing thetwo accounts of these events it is clear that there are differances between your version of events and those of the trust. In absence of an independant third party witness to corrobrate either version of events , you will apprieciate that it is hard for me to pass comment.The reviewof your complaint is based on the information provided by yourself and the trust.Therefore without the existance of any statement by an independant third party witness i am unable to support either versions of events.  Withthis in mindi will not be asking the trust to carry out any furthrer work..

3. Specimen jar and foetus remains.

You explained after you had miscarried, you were given a jar containing a urine sample , taken from when you used the commode. You described ohow the jar also contained blood clots which , you were told , were the foetus. You expressed deep concern over how insensitive this had been , that the doctor had acted cruelly. You explained that you were left with your partner what you had been told . You said that the nurse took the sample and showed it to your partner you told the trust you wanted a personal apology from the dr in question.

The trust explained the jar was taken to the room as the doctor was unsure where would be the safest place to leave it, as she was unfarmilliar with the correct procedure to follow.The trust accepted that this was wrong and acknowledged the severe distress this caused. The trust apologised for thisand said that this had beeen discussed in detail with the doctor.

The trust explained that it is normal practice for such samples to be taken away and labelled as a sensitive specimen , The laboratory would then confirm that the jar contained conception remains,which would be sent 1 month later to tirquay crematorium. The trust sais this is usually discussed with parents , and it apologised that this did not happen in this case. The trust said that this had been identtified to be raised at the doctors next training session at the team meeting.The trust said that this will ensure all staffwill be reminded of the correct procedure and of how important it is to be sensitive to parents suffering miscarriage.

The trust confirmed that the histopathology laboratory confirmed that your specimen contained the gestation sac and placenta . The trustexplainedthat on the 1st may  2008 you had a scan that showed the foetus legnth to be 9mm.

The trust said that you , and not the nurse or doctor , had shown the specimen to your partner,

The trust told you the doctor was extreemly sorry for the anxiety and distress she has caused. The rust saidthat  it was unableto discipline a member of staff for a first mistake unless te mistake is seriousenough to warrant a formal warning. The trust confirmed that this issue had been discussed with the doctor at a poor performance review.

I askedthe clinical advisor for his comments regarding this issue . T he addviser confirms that the histology report shows no foetus was present in the sample. The advisor is  of the opinion that there is clearly a differance in yours and the trusts version of the events regarding the handling of the specimen pot.

The advisor notes the trust accepted that the actions of the doctor were not appropiate , and apologised for this happening. The advisor notes the trust had explained the doctor was new to the unit at the time.

Decision.

I appriciate how  upsetting and distressing this course of events was for you. As i explained in the first issue , when reviewing complaints the healthcare commission looks for signs of the trusts recognition of the short fall , an apology , and how it has learnt. . Both the clinical advisor and myself have noted that the trust has apologised for this issue. The trust has also detailed what action it has taken in response to this with a view to preventing a reacurrance . Therefore , with this in mind i will not be asking the trust to catrrry out further work.

Complaints handlig - lack of telephone logs .

You told the trust you had been trying to make a complaint. You were told you could not make a complaint as you had "only seen clots" . you said you felt as though you had not been believed.

At the second meeting it was raised that the complaints service had not been useful to you in raising your concerns.Yoou said that you contacted the patient advice and liason service who transferred you to .................... who then told you you could not make a complaint.

The trust said that there was no recollection of this call and it had been unable to locate any notes about the call. The trust said it would discuss the issue with PALS .

When the trust forwarded the information to the healthcare commission it stated youwere told you could not make a complaint as this was not in line with the trusts complaints procedure.

Decision.

From reviewing the complaints file i have noted you had been in contact with the trust prior to your letter of 15th may 2008. I understand that you had been expecting a telephone call on 15tth or 16th may 2008 from .................................... to discuss your complaint. However this telephone conversation does not appear to have taken place and i understand this is why you wrote to the trust.

I have been unable to find any evidewnce of any telephone conversations before 15thy may 2008 . The complaints file begins with your first letter.In our experience , we would expect a complaints  file to always start with the record of a complaint be it writen ore orally.

I apprieciate that you may have made attempts to raise your complaint prior to writting your letter. However as mentioned in the second issue , the trusts version of the events differs from yours. Again, as previously mentioned , without an independent third party witness to corrobrate either version of events , it is difficultto make any further cooment on this issue. However the trust did refer to it s complaints procedure in it response, and it may be useful for you to have a copy of its procedure . Therefore , i would like to suggestthat the trust forwards you a copy of the trusts complaints procedure .

This concludes the independant review of your complaint.

19
Dec
2008
emmie

Too Much Too Soon.

by emmieComment Published at 03:4403:4412 comments12 comments34 Visits34 VisitsReport

So as you all know from my last blog baby angel should have been born on sunday (21st) . With nan and everything else its real hard for me right now. Well yesterday i was told over the phone the bottom line is that nurse gets away with this . They think this is ok to happen . They have lied to me and i have proof of it and they arnt interested after all she did nothing wrong .

Today i get the whole review of it all pages and pages long and i cant bring myself to read it. I opened it but that is as far as ive got i know its gonna be full of rubbish and lies . I just want ity all bacjk its not fair.

I still need to tell my dad nan has got cancer ive been on MSN all day everyday waiting for him to sign in but no he isnt . My uncle is going over there later so he is gonna tell him to get on msn .

Anyway i better go chjloe is in the fridge AGAIN cheeky monkey xxx

17
Dec
2008
emmie

Sorry need to clear my head!!!

by emmieComment Published at 15:3515:3526 comments26 comments46 Visits46 VisitsReport

Ok for the lst 3 months or so my nan has been loosing blood from her bum. She cant open her bowels properly she is just making herself bleed. She only told me this 3 weeks ago and i tod her to go doctors she said she had irritable bowels . Anyway cut a long story short she went hospital today for further tests.

They put this camera up my nans backside works out what was found was nowhere near what was expected by all family . She has Cancer. Bowel cancer as i type she is at the hospital resting and she will be home tomorrow though she is back in 3 weeks for an MRI scan she needs another scan too which she is having in the morning .

They need to find out if its spreaded anywhere else as all they know at the moment is its a large ammount. so large its all the camera could see. So after this scan tomorrow and she comes home they are going to give her a laod of drinks to build her vitamins because she isnt eating properly because the reason she is pooing blood is because the cancer is blocking her back passage etc .

o then when she is home is the waiting game untill the MRI because untill then they wont decide weather she is going to have an operation and remove the cancer or treatment. Thig is my nans 73 she is no spring chickern anymore. She is slightly senile and isntexactly healthy anymore. I dont think she will make it through treatment and i dont think she willl make it through surgery either.

The thought of loosing her kills me . The last 4 years she has been my mum . She even helped me to find my dad through the miscarriage and everything she was there for me . Im supposed to tell my dad this but i dont know even how trying to get my headaround it is hard enough to say the least.

I guess the whole miscarriage thing is on my mind too . I was suppossed to be due 21st december.  So i am finding that really hard too . Ecspecially seems the complaint is coming rto an end i am just waiting for the outcome any day now. . Its just so not fair none of this should be happening . This world is so cruel.

Im sorry to write such a depressing negative blog right before christmas but i had to release some of it before bedtime. I need to try and eat something and get these dishes done and get off to bed my avon will be here at 8am Dont think i will sleep to well tonight .

Luv Emz xxx

 

16
Dec
2008
emmie

I could SCREAM !!!!!

by emmieComment Published at 12:2812:2810 comments10 comments39 Visits39 VisitsReport

Really am i totally and utterly crazy so much i HAVE o live here when its freezen cold and damp all down the front. ???? I reported it on the 28th november to nikki when she came round and she said she will get it logged and someone will get it sorted out within 28 days. Well today i noticed the wall right near my wardrobe is soaking wet. and there is so much water on the window sill its crazy .

BUT  i rang them up and the reason i am still waiting is because there is only 2 surveyers 1 in torquay another in paignton. Thing is the one in torquay is very very sick. They could get the paignton guy to do it but he isnt allowed without the torquay guy. As nobody is allowed to come to my property ALONE  they need back up. Due to previous issues apparantly she didnt know exactly . Like WTF ???????? She doesent knoww hen this guy is going to be better so she dont know how long im goingto be waiting for .

For god sakei  have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder anyone would think i was dangerous the way they are going on. So i just have to wait now i am so tempted to phone her and have a go at her and find out why she has done this for god sake its winter that makes it cold enough, without a gap under my bedroom window and at the bottom of my patio door and window and 3 damp rooms.

I asked what i should do if my children now get sick from beathing i n these pores i keep washing off my windows and walls? Apparantly they most proberly wont as its proberly just condonsation. Says she who hasnt a clue what im talking about its me looking at it not them they havent come to see it.

So im now waiting for matthew (one of my support workers) to phone me back tomorrow to get him to find out what hte hell Nikkki is playing at;

Anywqay i better go i have my friend here and i really should make her a cup of tea and stop my cat from playing with the ball balls on my christmas tree LOL .

Luv Emz xxx

14
Dec
2008
emmie

I have to admit it - Im Addicted!!!!!!!!!

by emmieComment Published at 15:0015:0014 comments14 comments38 Visits38 VisitsReport

To doughnuts !!!!! Im a doughnutholic !!!!!!

I brought some doughnuts earlier and then as soon as i got home I hid them so that Barry or my dad cant have any. How bad is that ??? Awful i tell you . But i czan eat them without throwing my guts up. Besides they are really scrummy. In sainsburys the guy at the checkout said to me 'They arnt good for you you know' but my answer was simple he cant have tried them they are just so lush. YUMMY.

Guess what Buster has done .So naughty . The other night my dad kicked him into the hallway for chewingmy dads socks (brave boy) so instead he has scaratched up all the carpet in the halway . SOOOOO bad. There is something else i am very angry about too but i cant blog aboutthat right now.

Kylie has her nativity play tomorrow she is excited though she isnt impressed that she is a sheep. She doesent want to be a sheep and no she doesent go baaa baaaaa i already asked thast one and i got told off. Its asuprise apparantly  . I am just hoping she doesent just stand there like she does lol.anyways im off .

I gotta start thinking of going bed but to be honest i dont want to . Had a rough night last night had some disturbing dreams and coldent get back off.

Luv Emz xxx

13
Dec
2008
emmie

Fab Day !!!!

by emmieComment Published at 16:3916:3916 comments16 comments22 Visits22 VisitsReport

Well i had a fab day . My SIL  came down and boy it was so good to see them. My nephew 'Oli ' has grown so much. Last time i saw him he was crawling around the floor (6 months ago) now he is walking trying to talk and oh so cute . He is about 9 months younger than Chloe. They got on eally well which was nice. Guess what he has chloes curls heehee totally adoreable imagiine a blonde chloe thats him lol .

My niece 'Grace ' well she has grown up so much again she is 9 months younger than Kylie . Boy she is so grown up and s polite, grown up and smart . She totally stolre my heart i tell you. She also made me a fantastic christmas card at school . I will treasure it forever she put alot of effort and love into it ecspecially for me so i will take great care of it ecspecially for her :)

Nicky (Barrys sister) is looking fab . Bless her she was a bit stresse with all of the chritmas bits being round the corner and hubby hasnt beenpulling his weight sop the poor thing is exhausted love her. She did ask about my teeth i knew she would but i told her the truth im not covering for him  . She has nagged me to go dentist so she wins i will go monday . Sisters huh?

Dave well he is just Dave LOL .

I LOVE my In - Laws, I must say I am very lucky . To have such a fab SIL  she rocks. I was so happpy to seee them i forgot to even get the camera out time was far too pecious but nicky took some and she is going to email them to me tomorrow so i will blog them seperatly .

Argh i miss them already :(

Luv Emz xxxx

12
Dec
2008
emmie

Hmmmmm ........

by emmieComment Published at 10:4610:4614 comments14 comments45 Visits45 VisitsReport

Me thinks my body is stupid stupid stupid.

Hopefully monday doc can shed some light. I cant eat anything heavy on my stomach. Like heavier than toast . If i do i throw my guts up. Last night i was up for most of the night being sick. They cannt blame the pain anymore cos that is gone.

Been feeling bit emotional today. I am ok though. Just been thinknig about the miscarriage etc i would have been due 21st december. I think barry has forgotton about it to be honest. Plus ive been starring at the hospital info about it all as i have to go through it all as there are bits the healthcare commission need as they are about to make a decision as to weather that registrar has had enough punnishment for what she did. Of course she hasnt !!!!

Anyway guess what my SIL is coming down tomorrow with the kids i so cant wait to see them i am soooo exited. I havent sen them for about 6 months. Plus it saves me getting a recorded delivery on their pressies. So ive had lots of housework to do today fun fun fun.

Im really tired tonight think i will get an early night in . I cant believe how close we are to christmas really not feeling festive this year.But the kids are really excited and we have spoilt them this year lol. So hopefully they have a good day

Luv Emz xxx

10
Dec
2008
emmie

Feeling good !!!

by emmieComment Published at 01:5801:5820 comments20 comments51 Visits51 VisitsReport

I feel so much better all the pain has  gone that i had before my operation :) I told you it wasnt in my head i told you it was real. If only they had taken me seriously. I wasnt feeling the pain of loosing my baby it really was hurting lol. Since i manaaged to get in the bath day by day things have been getting easier. I can now do housework and small stuff no heavy liftng thhough and not usingn my tummy muscles too much.

Ok so you guys in for a shock?/ Those using laptops best sit down . LMAO. Barry has been great he has been looking after the girls , he didnt do too well with the housework though but he did try. Maybe now he wont moan at me about it . Plus he painted tthehallway for when nikki from the housing came monday and has spent the last 2 days painting my lounge. Then just to top it off he has been cooking not that ive been eating only things like toast .. Oh i got some doughnuts last night but was too sick to eat thdem will eat those tonight yum yum.

My hallway is disgusting my opinion of it is it looks like the sunshine you dont need a light on at nght as ther is already a light in the paint on the wall LMAO. If you havent already guessed its yellow YUK . BUT m,y living room looks lush. Since we moved in i said i wanted terracotta and blue living room . Now i have terracotta and blue living room. WOO. Ok so it is just terracotta paint and blue sofas but still . I am moving out but thats another thing i will talk about in a minute. But the living room looks lovely so much better than magnolia for the rest of the time we are here.

Mind you the fumes gott to me and gave me a migraineso i spent last night in bed i asked barry towake me upa t 10 for some dinner and watch eastebnders and i was going to do a blog but  guess what ? he never woke me up . I woke up at 3.30 had a cup of tea and passed back ouyt on the sofa, until 7.30 .

As for the moving part i am moving not just yet but im moving. When niki came monday with the support worker monday Niki basically went on how i am really depressed abd how she wants to help me etc etc. She is nowhere near taking my kids away from me and they arnt involving social services at all and these pwople are  nothing to do eith social services. Anyway i said i need to move. This place is full of bad luck. From 6th may and i started bleeding everything went wrong. I lost the baby , then the foetus went missing and all this anti aocial behaviour satuff with my neighbour from hel, complaints about my dog , thrn i nearly lost my tube and ovary itsust been constant and i need to get outrta here and start again.

So now im on the exchange list and back ont he bidding system . I feel like i live in a prison . Im not allowed to put my music on so it can be heard outside im not allowed to tell my kids off im not allowed to argue with my boyfriend . Im not allowed to play my keyboard barry abd kylie arnt allowed rto play guitar even though kylie has to practice for guitar lessons. Its a joke.

Also i told this support worker about kylie at school and how they are telling me she is doing so well but really she is struggling andthat they wont assess her and i told him that in activities at school and surestart groups she just stands there and i dont understand why . So he agrees with me she does have learning issues abd she needs help and she needs it now. He is now going to check if she is on this sup[port plan for children that are behind intheir learning and if she isnt on it he is putting her on it and pushing for her to be assessed so thats good too.

Anyway i best shut up before this turns into a book. Can you tell ivew missed blogging ?? hehehehehehe

Missed you guys heaps

Love Emz xxxx

06
Dec
2008
emmie

Getting there !!!!

by emmieComment Published at 12:4712:4712 comments12 comments29 Visits29 VisitsReport

Still not able to get dressed but i am slowly getting there. I am just so bored its boring being sick . Barry wont let me go out . I havent seen the fresh air for days. But iu suppose its given me chance to sort through my bits. Just my make up and stuff and ive got most of the xmas presents wrapped. Tomorrow i might get to write xmas cards out.

Kids are sick Chloe has caught my cold and the poor little monkey is teething too. Kylie went doctors last night and she has an ear infection. So today they have both been miserable as hell.Hopefully Kylies ear infection is better by monday as she gets presented with her awards .

She is getting a headteachers award for 'Trying ' so hard with her reading . Although she isnt a good reader she is trying really hard and they feel her efforts should be awarded so monday she gets her award in assemly along with an attendance award, She is so excited about it all.

My poor chloe she is up again poor thing really isnt well. Think daddys getting her some milk in a minute and puting her back to bed.

Buster has gone back to my dads i dont have the time or energy for him t the moment i cant deal with him peeing everywhere i cant clean up after him .So he is staying there for a couple of months hopefully when he comes back he has learnt to behave himself.

I hope everyone else is ok

Luv Emz xxxx

04
Dec
2008
emmie

Yesterday !!

by emmieComment Published at 13:5713:5728 comments28 comments69 Visits69 VisitsReport

So yesterday I had to be at the hospital for 12pm . From then i wasnt allowed any visitors until I was back on the ward. I had my temp weight etc apparantly i needed to do a urine before surgery even though i couldent go until the matron pointed out its impossible for me to be pregnant so it doesent matter.

So then it was to see the surgeon and anethatist  and i was informed i was actually having 2 operations and if there is a bleed in my ovary he will remove it and if the right tube is damaged he will take that too.

Before i knew it it was time for surgery so off i went to theatre. I was very impressed with myself as it was the 1st time i have had anathetic without magic cream. He put the needle in my hand and put my hand in the middle of my chest. and started to put the anathetic in in went the anathetic he said your going to go to sleep in a minute i think we got to 6 from 10 and i was gone.

I warned the anethatist i may freak when i wake and i di i thought i was at Torbay again but he was there and reminded me i was in exeter not torbay .Then the surgeon came to see me and said that surgery went well . The cyst was removed the endo was burnt off the endo can come back will just have to see if i get any symptoms over the next 4 months. Though the cyst wont come back .

As for the tube it was cleared and he put blue dye in my tube and it is working . The cyst wasnt in my ovary as thought it was behind so the ovary was also saved . I was also given endo treatment and something done to the tissue.

I was taken back to the ward and was lifted from the trolley onto the bed. I fell back to sleep for a bit woke up determined to go home. Then Jerry had arrived i asked him when i was allowed home he said they are getting me some toast and tea i need to eat drink and pee before going home me being a spoilt brat went off form y wee came back there was my tea and toast cold toast i must add. Butter and jam i dont like jam and waste not want not so i gave it to jerry to have for brekfast today haha . I ate my toast (except the burnt bits ) a few mins later i ran to the toilet and threw up lol ssshhh . I was sick another 3 or so times abd didnt say anything apart from i felt sick as i wanted to go home . She said i really should stay in overnight as i was unwell but i just wanted to go home. I got caught out tough cos while taling to her i needed to be sick but im stubborn and went home anyway.

Since ive been home ive mainly been sleeping.Oh ive cried quite a bit too but im alright. I cant sit up for too long as it hurts I feel like a dot to dot drawing . Ive been cut bellybutton , knicker line and left side of my stomach. But still i will be recovered soon and feling better and fingers crossed the endo doesent come back.

Now im at home resting up and not having to move much be back in my bed soon me thinks gotta ring my nan later foirst though when gets home from bingo she has a busier social life than me.

Luv Emz xxx

04
Dec
2008
emmie

Blog Tag - emmie......

by emmieComment Published at 03:3303:334 comments4 comments25 Visits25 VisitsReport

1. Whats the main thing on Minti 5that keeps you addicted?

Well for me it has to be my FRIENDS . In the year and 10 months I have been a member on Minti I  have made some fantastic friends.. Now i dont know what i would do without them. I love reading blog too. I like to hear all differant peoples day to day lifes and experiences and sometimes it makes me feel good about myself.Also it makes me feel as though I am not alone.

2.Whats something funnny that happened to you lately?

Ok lets think funny?  oh yesterday when i came round from my anathetic i got up to go toilet bits all fell out and there was the surgeon. That was embarrassing at the mtime but funny now LOL.

3.A word your kids say / pronnounce funny / cute. ?

Chloe says duce for juice , cockat for chocolate. , mik for milk . I could tell you loads but that will bore you all to death lol.

4. If you could be famous for 1 day who would you be and why?

Well for me it would have to be Mariah carey. Im so jealous of her beautiful skin she is so pretty too and i would love to be able to sing like her her voice is amazing.

5. 5 words that sum up minti?

Friendship , support , parents , love , fun.

I am now tagging Mariamum , exquisite flower , ellamia , cathybusymum  & kathrynR1402.

 

03
Dec
2008
emmie

SURGERY WENT WELL !!!!!!

by emmieComment Published at 16:0316:0334 comments34 comments57 Visits57 VisitsReport

I just know it was all the good vibes you guys were sending . THANK YOU . You guys are amazing. It was a bit more than a laproscopy i had 2 operations in the end . i just thought i would let you all know surgery did go well . I am able to fall pregnant again tubes are now functioning . The endo was burnt off though it cn come back just have to wait and see and im back for a check up in 4 months.i will update you all tomorrow when im more able.My head is all over the place right now . I went in at 1.30 and woke up at 3.45 i was in surgery 90 minutes .

Ive missed my chloe so much i so badly need a kiss from her. I had to sign to get discharged as they wanted me to stay in as i was sick quite a few times but i freaked out when i woke up thinking i was at torbay and i wanted to be at home.My dad is here massaging my head and back bless him im full of air and my backs a bit sore.

Anyway i will blog proper tomorrow when im more with it .

Thanks so much for all your support it means so much to me i cant explain how much.

Love Emz xxxx

02
Dec
2008
emmie

THANK YOU , THANK YOU , THANK YOU!!!!

by emmieComment Published at 22:1622:1618 comments18 comments45 Visits45 VisitsReport

I just want to quickly say thank you to everyne who has sent me goodluck coomments , lounge visits gifts and emails. I would love to reply to them all but it dont look like im going to have time. I have so much to do still ad i have to have brekfast by 7.30.

But right now im enjoying having my princess file my feet with my foot file she is doing such a good job. She is a good girl.

Barry is now going to be staying up the hospital while i have my opreration in case i freak out after my operation. As if i wake up with a flashback i will freak out

Anyway i better go get myself orgainised in 5 hours 45 minutes i will be out of it YAY  to wake up bettter hopefully YIPPEE .

But THANKK YOU GUYS I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH !!!!!!

Luv Emz xxx

02
Dec
2008
emmie

Bad bad bad bad Girl I am !!!!!!

by emmieComment Published at 11:4611:4616 comments16 comments39 Visits39 VisitsReport

I have breeched section 4 , 5 , 6 & 7 in my tenasancy agreement. This woman is unreal read this .

RE: Visit to you 28th november .

Following my visit to you on friday , when i saw Miss Fairchild , I am writting to apologise for any upset that was caused. I am trying to arrange the support framework for you , and difficult questions needed to be asked if I am able to help you thorough the difficulties you are obviously experiencing.

Emily i never meant to cause you distress during my visit , or afterwards , and I strongly hop-e  you will still work with me to enable us to create a support package for you that will improove things for you and your family.

It is also unfortunate that within this letter i must enclose a stage 1 letter regarding the noise nuisance coming from your property. Irt is not that we do not allow a stereo to be played , but that it is just being played too loudly and it affectingf people around you .I hope that you will read both letters included. and appreciate that i am trying to help you both sustain your tenancy and also help with the issues you have experienced that are affecting you and your family, and that you take the appropiate action to improove the noise levels

I will be in touch in due course, once i have been able to arrange the support package, and stress again that i hope we can work together .

Will they ever leave me alone.Anbyways i best get in this bath before my dad gets here LOL xxxxxxxxxxxxxx 16 hours 15 mins to go xxxxx

 

01
Dec
2008
emmie

Anyone else want a go???????

by emmieComment Published at 17:0417:0421 comments21 comments67 Visits67 VisitsReport

Man im stressed who needs ememies when you have friends like mine!!!

Seriously like im having surgery in 36 hours and im stressed as hell. Lee come round this morning as Barry was fixing their car. Boy i wish she never bothered. She has been OK for a few months now i thought the hysterectomy sorted this problem out. How wrong was i gees.

First off it was just me when they arrived and Kevin gave me a 3rd degree bollocking of why i shouldent put up with it. Bla bla bla likei can make my own mind up im not a bloody robot. (I did say i was stressed) .

Then when the men and little rae was outside well it was Lee's turn to start . God why wont anyone leave me alone god dammit. I just want to get this place sorted and my bag packed ready to get this operation over with i dont want this stress, anyways she sytarts with 'you are cruel to kylie' pull another one.

Because i smacked kylie on the butt for biting her little sister. So cruel of me. Get this one i dont do any housework.Really funny. Since chloe was born i treat them differant.Yeah like course i do.

Oh the best one was i need help . Not just help but help from her . So funny. Believe me I put her in her place we were full blown arguing for a good hour then little Rae came in. We are OK with each other we didnt fall out but we hd a big row about it all. She rekons she knows what im going through but she doesent have a clue i donnt tell her anything anymore ggrrrr.

Guess what it only 35 hours and 3 mins til my operation so close now yippee.

Anyway i best go its like 1am and i need my beauty sleep LOL nah im not going bed jusdt yet im finnishing my drink first . Lots to do tomorrow hopefully Lee wont comeround weith Kevin im not up for round 2,

Luv Emz xxxx

PS thanks1uj4.gif

For all your support it really means the world to me xxxx

 

30
Nov
2008
emmie

Aaaaachooooooo.

by emmieComment Published at 17:5217:5210 comments10 comments22 Visits22 VisitsReport

Thats all im doing is bloody sneezing . My throat is so sore, and i have a little over 48 hours to get rid of it. I look like rudoph only with no front teeth. Its all red and shiny .It must be this freezen cold weather all of a sudden ive had my fire on all night and im still freezen cold.

My tooth isnt so painful i guess the nerve has now gone ? Dont know not a dentist LOL . I can drink coke with a straw and i can take my tablets now too. I been thinking and i cant have my teeth and op done so close together cos i aint being awake top have them out this is 3 possibly 4 teeth im not that brave. I am petrified of dentist i havent been for years.

Kylie just cracked me up . She woke up she said i needed to move colours. I asked what she was on about and she ttold me to go in her room and she said they said they had hats. She had a dream and woke up thinking it was real. I told her it was just a dream and to go back to sleep. What its like to be a child.

I was talking to my dad on MSN  earlier and he said he will stay here on tuesday night.. So i will get barry to go pick him and my little lilbers up tuesday afternoon and chloe will enjoy the drive . She loves the car at the moment. She likes to play in the car while i do my avon:)

I was gonna go and give the next brochures out tomorrow but i think me and chloe will go do it on tuesday as i have lots to do tomorrow . Want to get things straight before i go in.Anyway i should go to bed its nearly 2am . I been asleep on the sfa AGAIN  naughty me!!! plus i have to put my order in and do my returns in the mornig .

Thanks to all for all your support it means the world to me :) I love you guys xxxxxxxx

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