I managed to get all Kylies birthday presents yesterday so now all i have left to do is get her some birthday cards . Kylie has made it much easier for me though . She said she didnt want a party i was calling her a party pooper but she is sure she dont want a party . She dont want her friends to play with her new toys only Chloe. So i asked if she wanted me to take her and Chloe out somewhere after school but no she dont want that either she wants to stay home and play with all her new toys and have a birthday cake. LOL. But it does make it much easier for me all i ave to do is make her a cake easy peasy.

Kylie is off school today seems this cold is just getting worse and chloe has a bad tummy too so instead we are all staying home with the heating on lol. I am going to be having a relaxing day and just sit and watch cartoons with the kids and i might get round to doing the dishes at some point im just so tired i could go to sleep lmao.

I have to get this cake done tomorrow no point doing it today it will only go funny by friday. Ive got my scan tommorow too . Bit scared but excited too . So will be busy busy tomorrow so i guess maybe i should do some housework today afterall but still nevermind .

Anyway im off to lie down for a bit i feel sick lol.

Luv Emz xxx

Well now they are old enough to take proper photos YAY heres a proper picture of Buster .Haha this is going to be my baby. YES i have finally managed to talk Barry round YAY. He is so adoreable i love him to bits lmao.

This is one of the girl pups its one of the smaller we seem to have 2 sized pups in the litter . I think her white face is so cute and really stands out .

Ah i love this picture managed to get most of them in we gave them run of the hall but they just heaped in together and tried getting back in their cupboard so i put them back . They arnt quite ready to be free yet. LOL.

Mmmmm BREKFAST as you can see Pepsi now trusts the cats near the pups . I think podge thought it was dinner time she never took her eyes off them lmao.

Luv Emz xxxx

I was speaking to my Dad yesterday  when i told him about me being pregnant and all i told him about the cyst works out that whyi nearly never made it and why i dont have a middle name . My Mother had to have an operation when she was pregnant to control this cyst and during labour both me and my Mother nearly died it was so bad they begged her time after time to abort which obviously she never and we both survived its justmade me worry about it . I didnt think it was that bad . I think i will definatly be asking alot of questions thursday lol.

My hormones have been going mad today been very firey . Nobody dares get under my toes or they have hell to pay ecspecially if your name is barry. Went to the bank this morning and Barry hadnt been paid and i was meant to go get Kylie some birthday presents i already felt bad bvecause Kylie went to school a bit off. I had to ring all the people i usually pay on pay day in between barry kept ringing me . For basically nothing.

When i picked Kylie up i thought i was facing a sheet . Gunk all in her eyes got her indoors she basically collapsed in my arms my nose is sore and my throat hurts and my head hurts. She had a temp oh lovely so i decided to quickly get her some dinner while she was well enough to eat . Well she never ate it and i put her to bed with some medicine and 5.15 and she was asleep in seconds.

I rang the other day to check barrys appointment at the drs they told me 5.40 on 28th so he got off work early to be told its tomorrow. so of course he came back in a pissy slamming the door rang his  boss he had to go to the hospital tomorrow for tests and scans LIAR. He seems to think cos he has an appointment at 5.50 he has to have the whole day off work . More like a day to annoy me he only wants to go mess about with his mates.

Just want to scream oh i hope i have a better day tommorrow and i hope this sickness goes away and kylie is better lol

Hopwe you are all having a better day lmao

Luv Emz xxx

Well no time for being tired todfay going to be a busy day . Kylies birthday friday so i really need everything sorted by then . Its not too bad though Kenny has to go to town too so he said he would give me a lift too lol.

I really must hand these forms in to council tax they are driving me nuts . They are so badly trying to pressure me . They want me to pay them £1000 a month obviously i have told them to go swivel on cat crap but they are threatening me with court . My rent is £400 a month after that out of barys wages we have £600 that pays bills and does shopping . No way am i handing it all over to council tax i would struggle to even pay my rent. Im going to go and see if i can get an appointment at citizens advice thereis no way they can make me pay that . Hopefully they will declare me bankrupt or something to keep them off my back. .

Then i really need to get Kylie some birthday presents i havent got her anything yet i just havent had the time to get into town lol. So i think its going to be an all day thing lol. I really cant think what to get her as her main presennt my head is just mush . She wants puzzles , barbies, dressing up stuff, pens and beads but she still gives me no clues of sny main present bloody typical .

Oh well best get these kids ready for school lol.

Luv Emz xx

Ive had such a crap day i just want to go bed and i think i will after dinner. I woke Barry up at 10am to go and get my dad although i spent most of the day tidying up. but he never went to get him til about 2. I purposly tidied up everything yesterday after my nap so today i could just relax but i had an early night last night and woke up to a bomb site. Thanks .

Dad came over i had a word with him about all this window buisness and him getting burgled and believe it or not he finds it funny . Wonder if he would havefound it funny if they took the dog maybe i should go and take her for a few days and see what he does might help him get a reality check . I know its a bit mean but he really needs a wake up call and its what is closest to him .

Today my child wrecked my living room with felt tips and glue . The sofa rugs and Chloes clothes are covered in felt tips and she also has it on her hands face and feet. It wouldent come off in the bath grr. Glue stuck to my rugs . I am so mad . After i constantly told Kylie no she got Jerry to get the glue for her and daddy gave chloe the felt tips . I may as well just not be here i ended up having to take all the colous and glue off chloe no lids on all over my lovely not so lovely now sofa.

Kylie has been the child from hell today i cant wait til she goes back to school tomorrow . Although i wont get any rest i have to go into town in the morning to get Kylie some birthday presents its her birthday on friday . Mine on saturday and guess what instead of my dad coming to see me on my birthday he is going to take kylie to exeter . Good job i aint having a birthday this year.,

I will have to cancel sue coming to my scan with me too now as Barry has asked my dad to go so i might try and rebook it or something cos i aint being funny but i dont really want my dad there when im having an internal scan im a big girl i just wanted my best friend there in case for support. Men just cant leave things alone grrr so mad.

Luv Emz xxx

well the puppies are doing GREAT. For the last 4 nights we have had a puppy in here . Pepsi isnt spending asmuch time with them when they sleep she comes out . She goes back to them when they cry. They are getting really big now too . I am going to take some photos of them individually so we can see exactly what we have properly. The last few days they have just grown so much 2 days ago they opened their eyes aww so cutee. They also bark quietly and walk . Barry is still going on about having 2 pups but its still a no ecspecially now. He seems to think because we are going to move into a 3 bedroom we suddenly have room but he will have a big shock cos the anwer is still no.

In about a week i will take the board downthat keeps them trappped in. Then they will have the whole room. I brought pepsi some liver the other day because she seemed a little low and everyone said she would eat it raw but to their amazement she wouldent touch it hahaha not untill i cooked it. Just to proove them wrong.

Kylie is allowed to cuddle the bigger ones now i didnt want her touching them when they were small 5 of them are a bit bigger than the rest so she is allowed to cuddle them . Chloe is only allowed to stroke because she can be a little rough sometimes.lol.

Luv Emz xxx

Im not happy tomorrow my dad will not only bbe getting a shock but he is in big big big trouble. He has been bloody burgled and its his own fault. I hate to say that but it is. I told him nearly 2 months ago he needs to get his window fixed that his mate smashed. Still he has done jack sh#t about it. . He goes to college 5 days a week you see a living room window smashed a empty house its asking for trouble . Well anyway cut a long story short Jerry has come to me today your dad needs to get these windows fixed !!!! What do u mean windows ???????? Well there are now 2 windows smashed he has been burgled his laptop has gone, his pc has gone his broadband his x box and playstation still he cant be bothered to get his wiindows fixed . He apparantly has a bit of chip board in his bedroom window that even chloe could get out .

His health is crap his frying pan is half full of black manky oil he is using as a deep fat fryer his gutt is bigger than a woman that is 9 months pregnant no joke he has already had 1 heart attack and the way he is going he is just round the corner from me putting him in a grave . He is really made me so mad . I have told him time over and over so has jerry and so has barry . ARGH he iis seriously gonna be in big big big big trouble he needs to sort his life out and quick .

Sorry just ranting

Luv Emz xxx

Well im going to have a lazy day . I am going to get some fresh air and go shop in a bit but thats about all . I am going to go to bed when Barry gets up . Ive spent half the morning head down the toilet so i think bed sounds good . Barry is going to get my dad either today and tomorrow i want to scare the crap out of him. Barry said i should just say imhaving twins nottriplets cos he might have a heart attack lmao. It will be funny though to ssee his face.

Kylie was over the moon to see Kenny. As soon as he got here Kylie ran straight out and gave him a big kiss and told him she loves him so cute. He cant believe how loving se has got. He was gutted he didnt make it in time to see Chloe before she went to bed. He hasnt seen her since she had just turned 1 she is nearly 2 now lol.She has seen him this morning i dont think she recognises him lol.

Anyway better get Chloe some clothes she has nearly finnished her brekfast and off to the shop for us and hopefully Barry will be up soon so i can go back to bed yay.

Hope you all have a great day .

Luv Emz xxx

Well the spotting has stopped now YAY. That was really scary i just didnt like the fact i was bleeding and pregnant not a good combination. Anyway hopefully it will stop now . I have been so lazy today i did all the housework and all wellexcept the cat litter barry has to do that now ( it will make me and baby sick ) 1 job les for me to do hahaha .

My nan rang me earlier and made me chuckle i rang her early yesterday morning to let her know im pregnant again so this afternoon she called me back . So how do u know your pregnant so i told her what happened she said i have to have a boy she wants a great grandson LOL there are only 2 boys in our family rest are girls. I havent told my dad yet though lol he can wait til he comes over im gonna tell him im having triplets hahahahahahahahaha scare the crap outta him .

I am so tired after i finnished the housework i felt really sick so i laid down on the sofa for a bit for some quiet time and i was struggling to keep my eyes open . Kylie woke me up twice oops because i fell asleep . I think i will be having a nap tomorrow lol .

Anyway i better go kenny is going to be here in an hour and i need to get my little lady in the bath and tucked up into bed , and then yay i can have some peace and quiet lol  well once kylie is in bed too but i said she could wait up for kenny to come she is really excited about seeing him

Better go chloe is demanding a bath lmao.

Luv Emz xxx

Early night for me tonight i am so tired i could not sleep last nnight i thought i heard someone in the house in the end i feel asleep about 3am then i woke up this morning dont know what wokwe me it was only 5.30 so when i realised i jumped bacl in bed LOL.

I went to the Drs today cos i needed some more folic acid (hospital only gave me enough for a few days ). I also got him to look at my arm i think that nurse busted a vein or something half of my arm ispurple and black and a lump on one side of it she did it 3 times each time not holding it silly woman. So he gave me some cream and some neurofen . I was suprised i got an appointmwent so quick i was just passing by and thought i would make an appointment and she said if i waited 5 mins i could see a dr now bonus .

Also the hospital rang me and i have my scan 1st may YAY . I am a bit worried about it too though . Its a bit weird with this show im having its making me feel on edge about it . I mean who wouldent right ??? I dont know . But i am constantly chucking my guts up so i guess that tells me everything is ok i just worry LOL. Im still kinda shoxked too its really not what i expeected at all i did test after test after tests and nothnig i gave up . So when my period was like 5 weeks lateyews i was worried but the one before was 7 weeks late and it was hardly anything .

As some of you know Chloe was my miracle baby we tried for her for over 2 years before i found out i had PID and my body was in a bad way they told me the chances of me concieving were very slim (2% chance) so to be quite honest im really gobsmacked . Its not quite sunk in yet either i dont think. Just wish the spotting would stop.

Barrys friend Kenny is moving back down here with his girlfriend tomorrow i cant wait to meet her. Ooooo how can i embarrass him hmmmm. I simply dont have room here for another 2 i dont even have enough space for the one growing lmao. Let alone Ken and his girlfriend so carl and suree have a spare room so he will be lodging there until they get theirselfs on their feet .They do need their own place because they are planning on having a baby she had a miscarriage a few months ago . I hope she is nice and good for him he needs a goood woman . She is scared about meeting me i dont know why though ?? I dont bite . Well i bite barry but he deserves it

Anyway im off i iwll stop blabbering lmao

Luv Emz xxx

Well what a day it has been. So my friend didnt come with me in the end her appointment was cancelled until 12pm and i needed to go first thing so i told her not to worry i would go and let her know how it goes when i got back. Got there and got lost  it took me near on an hour to find it , All i knew was i had to go gyne so of course i head straight to gyne. They wernt expectingf me so they sent me over to A&E,success . The receptionist was really snotty that i had left it to the next day. But the gynecologist was still happy to see me . I got seen to rather quickly not bad for A&E.

I explained to her what has been going on to get the ball rolling she took my bloods , urine test and she also done swabs. I couldent wee for a while but after a few cups of water i could go . She told me that last time when i had that lap i was slightly suffering from endo. After she went away she came back rather quickly and she just lookeed aat me and said its positive . UUUUUUUUUUU WHAT??????????????????????????? Not what i expected to hear. So with the bloody discharge a little worrying . They said with my history the chances are the pregnancy is most proberly in the wrong place (ectopic pregnancy) they lead me to believe this all day they said they needed to get me in for a scan.

They said i would have to wait until tomorrow for a scan because they were chocca block and i would have to stay in overnight and go for the scan in the morning . So i told her i would prefer to be at home with my family i needed to pick Kylie up at 3pm . So she wentoff to speak to her boss. They said i had 2 choices i could stay in hospital and be observed til they know its a pregnancy in the right place or go home on my own risk of the ectopic preg kicking off i chose to take the risk which they didnt like the sound of .

Funny enough i could get a scan in 30 - 40 mins so i could leave in time for kylie perfect. I went to get some air i didnt know what tothink i was in so much shock not knowing weather i was actually pregnant or not. The nurse come and got us its time for the scan i was so scared all the what if's going through my head. They did a ultrasound to start with but its too small and couuldent see anything. So he chose to do a internal scan instead BINGO 1 little sac is floating about in the right place too yay i was so relieved i just wanted to go home and for it all to end . Then he spotted this cyst on my right ovary which could have been causing the pain . But they cant remove it because it would kill the baby so it can stay put.

By the time i got my drip out and got up to the pharmacy and waited for my folic acid it was nearly 3pm oh bummer i was 5 mins late picking Kylie up buti told hewr i had got caught up at the hospital . The hospital are going to ring me sometime this week to arrange a scan for next week and then hopefully i will have a heartbeat and able to find out how far i am .

Anyhoo i am absolutly starving i need to go cook some dinner .

I hope your all having a great day

Luv Emz xxx

Dr wsnt too happy with the pain im in and now that i am giving off a mucky discharge he is now rather concerned . He started examining my stomach which was so painful i had tears. With all tests been done and that gastro appointment that got me raging this morning he thought it would be best to get me into gyne. I was so relieved but i didnt realise he meant so quickly i need to go TODAY . So now i have to try and find a babysitter or wait for Barry to get home from work and get my butt up there. Should be great fun yawn yawn.I just hope they are finally going to sort it out now .

Luv Emz xxx

I am so glad i have a doctors appointment later ive so had enough of it all. I had a letter from the drs with my hospital appointment from the old doctors as they didnt have my new address. I was thinking it was my gyne apppointment no try gastro. Why i will never know ??? I dont have diarea and i dont have problems with spicy food i have problems with all food . So because of this appointment which i dont know why i have it hello period problems are gyne not gastro . Even i kknow that. So i rang to book the un needed appointmetn as my gyne appointment has now not been put forward because of this one grrr .

I have an appointment to call them after the 6th may woohoo so luccky i am. Then after tht i can make an appointment to actually see someone in person . Ive just had enough of all the crap in between all i want to know is whats wrong is that really so much to ask but the way im feeling right now i want them to take the lot away there is no problems then . But they wont at least for another 8 years .

Sorry im just so peeved with it all its test after test appointment after appointment and i just feel like giving up .

YAY Kylie goes back to school today i cant wait to be honest . Just to have thosefew hours to myself and chloe of course will be so nice. Bit of a shame i have to pick her up from school early though i have an appointment at 2.30 at the drs and i doubt i will be back in time to pick heer up.

Barry is really annoying me atthe moment . He is just so selfish you know. I have been trying to talk to him the last 2 days about my stomach problem because it is all beginnning to worry me a bit. I came on my period the other day well if that what you want to call it im not all that sure it was a period at all. It lasted the whole of about 6 hours and it was just  a few traces . But being 5 weeks late on my period AGAIN i was thinking this time i was going to have a proper period . With all these tets coming back showing nowt or not much i dont know what to think . Ive just had enough of it i just want to bleed like any other woman does im not even 23 years old and i feel like my period days are over . Just peeved with it all.

Well i best go get Kylies lunch ready for school YIPPEE peace and quiet i cant wait LOL

Hope your all having a god day

Luv Emz xx

Well Kylies back to school tomorrow she cant wait to get back to see her friends and to be quite honest neither can i . She is in the bath at the moment so i can plat her hair up nothing worse than first day back at school to return with nits i dont like denitting her and she dont like me doing it . Its been a really long 2 weeks the first week she wasnt too bad but the last week daddy has been off work so she has beenseeing how far she can push it . With the excitement of the puppies too its just been a really full on week.

Most nights Barrys been playing guitar and stuff with next door most nights which has really been doing my head in at nighti like to relax but how can you relax when you have 3 guitars going on and every time you say something ssshhhh recording . Go bloody record somewhere else . I hardly got to go on minti because i couldent concentrate cos all i could hear was noise . So glad he is back at work . Its ok sometimes but every day from the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed only at night it gets worse because the band next door come over and encourage him and it gets louder and louder . Bloody men.

I have got to start getting my butt in gear and sort all this tuff out and move everything that is chewable into my bedroom. The other night we lost a puppy only for a minute though it was on the run wrapped in all the bedding . Lucky i didnt step on her . Barry is now umming and arring about me having the boy pup and has told me not to get too attached because he thinks we shoulld have a girl. But its not a girl i want i want that exact pup and he wants me to pick him . Thing is he says if we have 2 i can have it but i say no way i think i should just hav e this pup.

Well i better go wash Kylies hair and kill my arms with platting her hair oh whatfun

Hope ur all having a great day.

Luv Emz xxx

How can i feel sorry for someone who is so cruel and hard . My step dad has done so much wrongto me . It works out has only hurt my step sister emotionally but also alot happened before he met my mum . Before they got together he lived 2 doors away from us with his wife . He started seeing my mum a while before they splity up they would go to the pub and stuff . Anyway apparantly she wasnt nice at all they went on holiday his dad died and he needed to leave early for the funeral she hid his passport and stopped him seeing my step sister and her mum . He missed his Dads funeral . He never had the heart to tell me that funny thing is about this is whenever he would get angry it was because of his dad and now i know why .

He always hid his feelings you would never see him cry i have onmly ever once saw hmi cry and my step sister has never seen him cry . It was always guess work. Guess when he is angruy and run like hell . But why dop i feel sorry for him ???? i shouldent he ruinede my life , he stole my family as far as im concerned he is scum to the earth but i do feel sorry for himn and that makes me so angry with myself i shouldent .

I shouldent make these as excuses for what he did . There aere no excuses he was meant to be my dad . Who i looked up to when i needed his help he was there and protected ,me but then he ruined me . Maybe ythats why we wernt allowed to call him daddy and one year my step sis brought him a card with daddy on and he ripped it up i really thinki its connected . ARGH so bloody mad with myself . Sorry but needed to get this out.UUURRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!

Sorry thisw one is a bit manky it was taken just before i changed the bedding been wacked out today LOL.

Ah thats better bed allclean hehehehe . They do like aa clean bed . I do too i dont have to be careful where i put my hand heheehe. The 4th pup on the lewft is the one that keeps coming to me . But i love them all i so cant choose.

Ahhhhh allsnuggled up together sleeping oh so cute now how could i possibly choose??? They are all too cute i love them so much . But i need to think practicality i can only keep 1 not 8 LOL .

I hope they are clear enough for you winnie  

Luv Emz xxx

I need to start choosing my puppy but its really really hard . Yeah i know they are just puppies but they are all so cute i want to keep them all . I origionally said we were going to keep a girl because we obviously already haave a girl and we wont be breeding pepsi with the pups or anything its just not right . But i have been cuddling them quite alot the last few days and i have kind of fallen in love with the biggest one it keeps running away its front paws are brown and so is its bum and some of belly but its a boy !! Oh i so cabnt choose its so hardbecause i love them all there is another one i keep cuddling oh i just wish i could keep them all its so much easier but its not practrical urgh !!! Its not fair i suppose i do still have 7 and a half weeks to make a decision but i just cant i just want to keep them all LOL.

Luv Emz xxx

Finally my Nan is home i have been trying to ring her the last week but i havent been able to get hold of her . Yesterday morning she calledme . She had just got through the door hadnt even got sdome milk for a cuppa . Bless her. I asked her where she actually was because i went to L road so many times but i could not find no nursing home . She said its right at the top a bit hard to find . Anyway i arrangted for Barry to go and pick her up at 10 . She wants to come fdor lunch and she wants to see the pups so that will be lovely i cant wait to see her i have missed her so much . So have the girls .

Luv Emz xxx

Oh i am so tired i didnt sleep too well last night i get my results for blood test today. Bit worried about the result to be honest . I dont knowwhat is going to happen if there is still inflammations showingup . I had my last blood test at my old docs so i really dont know what will be next .I just hope they can sort it out without opening me back up cos after last time i said no more ops.

It has been so peaceful here Barry went walking with his friend Jerry last night it was just so nice to have a night without babe , babe , babe . They did origionally plan to go camping in Dartmoor but thats not really a good idea seems the pups are only a day and a half old. Its still early days for my lady LOL. I wanted him to be able to get home quickly if need be . Im a bit of a worrier i worry about things like pepsi squashing the pups and the pups not being able to get to pepsis boobs after she has been out LOL. Pepsi will let me hold them now , and she couldent get one of her babies last night without squashing the rest so i got it for her and she was so happy she wouldent stop kissing me haha.

As some of you know i have been speaking to my step sister it is ending out to be quite interesting . It works out i have finally got my wish my step dad is possibly dying YAY YAY YAY . I really hope he is sounds downright nasty but he is downright nasty he doesent deserve life .

Anyhoo Barrys home now so im off .

Luv Emz xxx

Just hours before Pepsi went into labour.

Pepsi mothering her first pup.

Pepsi & pups

Pepsi cleaning pups

Luv Emz xxx

Well well well what a day so i  only thought she was gonig to have 1 puppy because after the first was spotted for an hour nothing else happened at first she was having them hourly but once wwe had 3 they were just popping out . By lunchtime there were tears Pepsi's only white pup was a still birth  i got really upset which i didnt expect . I have never seen a dead puppy before and when its came from my puppy it really hit me . I could not go to take her to be buried but afterwards i was very worried foxs would find and eat her so Barry took me to see that she is unreahable she is about 2 foot down so i am happy she wont be found . Pepsi was sad when we took it away we gave her a little time to see if she could bring it round but after 10 mins i thought it was enough take it away before she gets attatched . But as they were flowing out before long she got preoccupied she now has 8 puppies . Silly minti wont let me upload photos so unfortunatly u will have to wait apart from the couple i have emailed them to . They are all mainly black with white bits not quite sure hows many girls/boys she is very protective of them at the momentshe is only me , barry and Jerry near her or the pups . She is aa really good mum she is doing most of it herself she has only left the pups to go to the toilet and then she jkust wants to get back to hher pups. I am so pleased of her she has done so well . But we have 8 ummm what am i supposed to do with all of those i did not expect her to have that many. I am so tired though its been such a long day . The kids loove them Barry has been trying to talk me into having 2 of them but i say a big no . No way can i have 3 dogs its just too much. The pups father is coming to meet the pups on friday so that will be cool. They are so cute anyway im off its late and its been a long day .

Luv Emz xxx

We have been woken up by a adoreable squeeking pupppy . Pepsi is currentlly in her little room i made for her and is nursing her 1st pup at first she was a little scared of it but now she is fine i am sooooooo exited YAY ppuppies come on number 2 yippee

I am absoloutly knackered !! I have been up since 5am . Bit early but i just could not sleep . From the time i got up it has just bbeen crap! Of course i knew it would happen its saturday after all. I spent most of the morning arguing with Barry and i said i wasnt going to go and get him any birthday presents or bake him a cake . Arnt i mean ? I did though i ended up going in to town with Kylie , i timed it perfect so he had to look after Chloe after all she needs a nap . She only sleep in her bed hahaha shame on him . Barry gave us a lift into town .

OMG -We were gobsmacked to see two kids must have only been about 13 walking round with a chain saw . Having the most crap morning when the police pulled them into the car park they couldent understand why they were in trouble. But i do wonder what they were going to do with it .??? Gave me a giggle anyway.

Anyway Barry dropped uus ayt the car park . Chloe screamed wheni said bye but she was so tired she would have been miserable and its so much easier weithout the buggy . Also i wanted Barry to look after Chloe . We nooticed there was this new clothes shop and some grreat  bargains anmd after all thats what he wanted for his birthday anyway . So i got him some really nice combats , a top and and a jacket too . Oh and i also buy him something humourous every year so i brought him this big massive colourful hat which says happy birthday along the top with colourfuil candles including pink and it sings happy birthday hehehehe not only does he have to wear it but he has to wear it to dartmoor ALL DAY .Hahahaha . This is called payback for all this stress hahahahhaha.

We got everything we needed and i picked the girls up a colouring set each because Kylie held my hand all the way through town like i asked before we left and miss Chloe doesnt usually stay away from mummy so i thought sshe would be pleased and i knewshe would have behaved.

On the way home we was only just leaving town we bumperd into this woman literally . hand full of shopping child to thwe other hand . Here she says have this ! She had this big obviouslky fake ring in her hand . She was kinda scary looking i think her gold teeth did it for me really sent shivers down my spine all her teeth were gold . I said no your ok keep it for yourself . She says please taske it £5 and you can have it . I again said no i dont want it besides i dont have any money i just spent it . Then she goes on i have 2 children we need some food please take this ring . Im sorry but i didnt believe her i felt she was taking the piss because i had my child with me . Where was her children ?? She didnt look hungry and homeless at all i said look i tolds you i dont have any money and walked off she starts cvoming after me . Oh fantastic i wasnt taking no chances of getting in a fight with Kylie with me . I rang Barry is Chloe asleep yet??? No , ok get in the car NOW some mad woman is following me after money i will be at drs . We headed there did a few cut throughs and lost her. Geez people are stupid today .

Its just been such an ongoing day i would be here forever to go through it all i would be asleep before i finnished hahaha .

Barrys birthday tomorrow its nearlky like 8pm and i havent even started . Oh bum i didnt get icing sugar,. I am not impressed at all with Kylies latest fav woord 'Lazy Cow' Yes i know a cow is a animal but she is not saying is that way she is saying it with lazy in front and she is ccalling everyone it grrrr.

Anyway im just talking rubbish now lol morphines kicked in im all fingers and mouth bla bla bla lmao

Hope your all having a fantastic weekeend

Luv Emz xxx

Well once the girls have had brekkie and chloe has had a bath we are off in town . Not that i want to ive been being sick since i got up. Ive been awake most of the night i could not sleep. Yet i feel so tired. Barrys birthday tomorrow so i have to go and get him some presents . With the mood kylie is woke up in i really cant be bothered with it but what more can i expect its saturday she knows he isnt at work.So she will kick off and kick off until she gets what she wants out of daddy. Its sounds mean but its true.

I just want to go back to bed but Barry wants a birthday cake too which i think he is far too old for , but still. He wants chocolate which is just typical that i dont have any cocoa. Will have to grab some in town  somewhere .

My keyboard is broken im so sad its keeps coming up not recognising USB OOPS. Barry will have to get me a new one. I ws likenearly finnished the message i was writting to my step sister and it bloody stopped working bloody stupid thing.

I wear Kylie is out to annoy me this morning she is driving me nuts all this child ever does is whine . She is only doing it to wake Barry up its a bloody joke. She is refusing to eat brekfast , refusing to sit up and eat urgh why the hell do i bother this kid needs to really start doing as she is told grr

Hope your all having a great day

Luv Emz xx

Well its friday and im in a lazy mood i thought to myself well i will go for my blood test come back get the shopping and get the housework and its bed day but now ive had my blood test and got the shopping i cant really be bothered but really has to be done but hey another half hour wont hurt anyone. Except Kylie of course she is throwing a wobbly at the moment no suprise there though .

Got to docs for blood test and they couldent find my form. Just my luck. Anyway she digged it up on the computer she said the blood test was called something beginning with 'v' cant for the life of me remember now though lmao. Of course im avery curious person and asked what it actually does and what it checks . She explained it checks how sticky my blood is which could show inflammations . Utoh i thought it was a normal blood test they are actually seeing if they can pick up if i have pelvic inflammitory disease again. I hope not . The results will be back on monday afternoon. Bit scared now .

Its Barrys birthday on sunday so tomorrrow i will be a busy, busy bumble bee i have to go and geet him some presents and make his birthday cake oh what fun. I think he is too old for cake i have to make another one in 2 weeks for kylie. Sucks i love baking but i hate baking birthday cakes they stress me out we end up fightingit never goes the way i want it to.

Oh well better get this housework done while im sat here someone is just trying to wind me  up so im going to make a starti suppose

Hope you are all having a great day

Luv Emz xxx

I am sick and tired of Kylies rubbish its really beginning to get to me. Idread going to bed because i know in the morning it will be another day of stress and arguements. I constantly hear when Barry gets home from work mummy did this mummy did that . It really annoys me half of it is total rubbish . God help me tomorrow im leaving home. Barry has a week off work and kylies off school too omg its going to be hell .

I must sound reallyhorrible but this is is how i feel . Ive had enough of everything being my fault . All i ever wanted was a happy family but its just not happening i am far from happy i just dont know what to do for the best anymore . Im just really peeved off right now.

Anyway when i signed into facebook earlier i had an email i was rather suprised when isaw it was frommy step sister Elaine . WOW i havent seen her in about 8-10 years now . She stopped seeing her dad (my step dad ) when she was in her later teens im not quite sure why he never told us. But i can guess . The email was jus a sarcastic comment about my eyebrows haha typical . I have sent her an email so we will see . I havent said anything toBarry just yet thou i  think i will leave that one alone for the minute i want to talk to her first .LOL .

Oh well have to go someone wants dinner.

Luv Emz xx

I have decided i am going to start putting yellow sticky paper to myself and my kids to remind me of my CORRECT appointments ding dong. I wonder when i have an appointment for 2.10 ??? its not today thats for sure i just checked my appointment card bearing in mind its gone 12pm my card says 10/4 10.10am BUMMER nearly 2 hours ago

cuckoo cuckoo somebody help me i neeed a new brain mine is broken !!!!!Luv Emz xxx

WWell i went and got our registrations finalised i was easy because i was already a temp with my stomach isssue . But they still weighed and measured me she confirmed im a titch and the galaxy is hitting the tummy . At last i have put some weight on only 4Ib but its better than loosing it all the time . Only thing that concerns me is that its not going to my waist just my tummy i look 4 months preg. My meds were getting low so she booked me in for the dr today . It was a differant dr but she was really nice . Though she did try to get me to cut out a dose of morphine so i have lesschance of being addicted . But i refused there is no way its just too much pain. She also sent a email to the gynecologist because they dont want me taking so much pain relief for too long . I have to have my blood count retested tomorrow im really worried about that . I just have this weird feeling its going to come back with abnormalities again . But i guess i will have to sit tight and wait for the results and hope for the best.

OMG i think i just had a heart attack i was just sat here happily typing away and all of a sudden the re was a big BANG some kind of explosion coming from this place over the back they have fuel and stuff there so a cylinder must of exploded or something but oh ny i think i nearly died LMAO.

Oh well better dash i have a visitor and mustnt be rude . Ijust want some piece to catch up on minti

I will be back .

Luv Emz xxx

Kylie has been pretty well behaved since its half term. She has had her moments but hasnt been too bad really. She is a bit miserable today rhough i think she has had too many late nights since friday she hasntbeen going to bed until 8pm this morning she strolled out of bed at 7.30 with  grump on. I have made her a tad worse by warning her she  may need to have a injection she was meant to have it like 8 months or so ago .

We all ahve to go drs to finnish our registration and stuff i nearly totally forgot AGAIN  brain of a siev me . and hopefully they will have my notes from my old dr.

Pepsi is really fat now you can see the pups moving about in her belly now i think she hass 7 pups butobviously not all of those will be living although i hope they are . But there could be more or less of course . Im not sure she will make it to the 14th when barry has a week off work i think it is going to happen any time now. I have started getting the kids to stay away from her because they need to get used to it because they will need to leaveher alone when she has the pups. She isnt interested in her room at all she is nesting in my bedroom . Not good!!!! Imagine that 8 dogs in my bedroom 9 including the father of the pups . Really have to get her settled in that room andi need to get everything out of the way of the pups its obvious they are going to chew something .

Chloe still isnt in her bed she doesent even get on it she just tries climbing in her cot. she isscared of the bed for some rreason i think its because she fell off andcut her lip the other night buti wll keep trying . Barry keeps moaning at me for it saying kylie did it chloe has to  but kylie was much older and we put her to bed asleep after she ruped on the floor with her quilt totally differant . I dont know weather Chloe is ready for abed just yet i mean she is only 22 mnths but wewill see i will give it a few more goes .

Oh well best dash housework to do appointment to get to sucks

Hope you all have a great day.

Luv Emz xxxx

OMG Kylie is stood next to me literally scrreaming its snowing mummy . We need to wake dady up mummy tell him its snowing . She has gone to look out the other window to see if its on the grass and on daddys car. She has never seen snow before she is absolutly  mental . I dont think it is going to settle though because its sunny too . Apparantly according to kylie snow comes fromthe beach the sea freezes and makes snow.  

Well well well , last night i put Chloe in her big girl bed . To start with she was really good! But then she got really cheeky . She kept on getting ouut of bed first off she did have a good excuse she only came in to grab daddys fleece which she takes to bed every night. Would she stay in that bed ??Would she buggers like she was getting all the toys out of the cupboard under her bed . I was going back and forth come 8pm she was really tired i was coming inb to tell her to get to bed and to sleep she got up on her big girl stool went to jump on the bed and instead went tumble . Woopsie i said get up baby she got up and her mouth was bleeding  its not deep just a little cut she must of bit her lip when she tumbled so we got her al cleaned up and she won she got put in her cot .

But tonight she will stay there . I will kick that little butt else!! Its so quiet here its lovely Chloe has just woke up and is still in her cot happily playing i will get her up for some lunch in a minute then we are going shopping and Barry and Kylie have gone to Jerrys so Barry can do something to his bike he wants to MOT it cos its going back on the road in the summer .I hope they dont return too quickly its been a very long morning !!!

Apparantly going to see my nan tomorrow was meant to go todayy so im really really pissed off about that. At this rate her fruit is going to go off i brought it in the week i will have to buy her fresh now else it will go funny before she eats it . All i want is to be taken to this nursing home but obviously too much to ask !

Oh well best get my little lady up ihope you  are all having a great weekend

Luv Emz xxx

I kind of know where my nan is . I spoke to her on the phone yesterday . She sounds really lonely . So i said i would go and see her yesterday .She said ok i dont want you to bring me anything though i have plenty . Before i could say dont be silly she says but you can bring some fruit. I just laughed ok what would you like. Green grapes if u can get them if not you choose. So what is this place like are you ok??????? Alright then she saysok i will try again when i get there .So whatthis placecalled ??? Dont know its the old people place . She finally gave me the name of the road . I said ok dont worry i thinki know where that is i will get kylie from school and a babysiitter and i will be there ok . ?? Alright she says phone goes dead bye then lmao.

i text Jerry to aask if he knew what the place was called telling him what i knew he didnt have a clue so all i have to go on is a road i thought easy i just need to find to find a old people home on the top of L street how hard can it be ??? So i rang the school i need to pick Kylie up now is that ok ?? we need to visit my nan in a nursing home and wont be back in time. Yes thats fine so i got chloe up gathered some drinks for us all and some food and toys for the kids. Grabbed kylie and off i went . I knew it was by my drs somewhere but its also near the police station. Could i find it could i hell. Kylie says mum why do u keep going round in circles ???? Iwant to see Nanny now !!!!!!!! Ummm darling dont worry if we dont see nan today we will see her tomorrow or saturday dont panic. Where is it mum /?????? Ummmm dont know love here somewhere . So in the end i rang barry im lost . Where are you looking for nan she says its at the top of L streetbut i cant find L street he says its by your old drs off S road . No it isnt thats where i am im on the corner between C road and S raod .Save your credit ring jerry he will know. Oh my so i ring jerry where is L streetmate ??? Oh are you going today Yes i am looking for it right now ok where abouts are you ?? so i tell him he said ok its a road that goes off that big road the policestation is on between the town hall and the seafront . Now im more confussed than ever that road is like2 miles long . So i keep looking it gets to like 4.30 kylie is saying she needs a wee and her legs are really achinig . So i decided it wasnt fair on her to keep going so we decided to call it a day and took a longwalk home . Iended up putting kylie on the back of the buggy . I felt really sorry for her it was boiling hot and here its non stop hills

Wheni got home i rang them and explained i had got lost and i would get a lift today or tomorrow because i had got lost i also asked her to explain this to my nan. I was so exhausted my pelvis felt like it was about to snap and my stomach was killing .

Well today is my last day of peace and the kids split up from school for 2 weeks.oh what fun. So tonight Chloe will be sleeping in her bedseems last night i caught Kylie trying to get Chloe out of her cot i just cant take therisk .

Well i guess i suppose i best get these kids ready and get kylie off to school but i think we have an appointment at 11.20 at the drs and she finnishes at 2 so i will hasve to ring them so she mite only be there a little while but we will see.

I hope you all have a great day

Luv Emz xxx

Oh my how hard is it to get some reins ?? I tell u here its bloody hard after 2 weeks of looking iui have finally found some the 3rd chemist i have looked in and finally i havesome yippee.

I thought Chloe walking with reins would be so much easier wow how wrong was i?? very very wrong . OMG she was so much worse . My plan was seemsshe is on the reins we will take Kylie to school then up to the shoips for some milk .

It didnt go to plan she was a total nightmare!!! We got to the first road and she noticed some builders so of course she decides she wanmts to run downthe hill nnnnoooooo not t