Life has been somewhat interesting the last couple of weeks! my oldest son has been getting more irrational at school (now harming other student's!) dylan was born in april 2002 & weighed a hefty 7p4oz he was delivered naturaly with no med's & we had no drama's! he was alway's the happy bubbly little man that could make anyone smile or crack up with laughter! but at the age of 14 mths he had a menagicocal vacine that was like all the rest! we alway's made sure before hand that he was given some baby panadol to lesson the pain an hour or so before his needles & that day in june 2003 was like any other shot he had recieved.
As the hour's went by he appeared fine! no adverse affect's, he was doing his usual! making mummy laugh & enjoying his bear in the big blue house show, later that afternoon while talking to my hubby on the phone (who had recently left town to work here in biloela) i noticed that Dylan had started to stumble a little & seemed really clumsy! for a moment i thought he appeared drunk (but my husband & i very rarely drink! & we have never had alchohol in our home due to this!) i continued chatting with hubby assuming that dylan was play acting & showing off! but suddenly he appeared in front of me & collapsed into my lap? i grabbed him & saw a look on his face that screamed at me to get help! we lived in a very small town where there were no ambulances so i hung the phone up & grabbed dylan & ran out the door yelling at my neighbour but noone came! instead i realised i would need to run to the Dr.'s clinic nearly 1/2 a Km away! i ran as quick as i could darting through the street's & watching as people looked on but did nothing to help! i couldnt look at dylan as each time i did he looked more & more lost somewhere in that tiny lifeless body that layed in my arm's! i made to the Dr's & ran straight through to the Dr's office ignoring the front staff! crashing through his door my Dr quickly realised something was horribly wrong!
raceing to the hospital in the Dr's car felt like an eternity! but within moment's we arrived as i franticly rung my husband wih the very possible fear that he may never see his son again! crying i stood watching our family Dr. trying to comprehend what had gone wrong! Dylan lay out stretched lost in a world of blank expression & frightened eyes, he was incoherent & seemed to not recognise me or anything i was saying!
The Dr. had made it known that he may have suffered a brain anurism or worse! at that moment my husband arrived scared & frightened! we were desperate to know what had happened & even hour's later when myself & my precious little man were sitting in a paddock waiting for lift off with the royal flying doctors we were still no closer to knowing!
Forever arrived! we made safely to royal brisbanes childrens hospital where they placed Dylan in I.C.U! the question's began to fly from all direction's- 'did you poison him?', do you keep chemical's low?' ect. i felt like i was being suffocated under the constent scrutiny of professional's who could not understand what had happened! watching my son have needles put in & pulled out, spinal tap's that felt like they lasted for hour's! & still nothing! no answer's, no reason's!
Finely 24 hrs later my little man woke up while he layed in my arm's, with me praying to someone i don't believe in! & begging him to wake! he did! lifting his head to mine & smiling as though he had woken from a beautiful dream! pulling him into my arm's & kissing him franticly searching his face for my little guy, but somewhere in those ocean blue eye's the size of forever i saw it, the twinkle was there but where was the light? in that quiet moment i knew that he was quietly different somehow?
More test's followed & STILL no answer so after a week of exhaustion & stress & worry & believing that at some point of this ordeal there would be an answer i left with none!
He had changed but not in an abrupt way, suttle little thing's that even now i cannot put down because they were so hard to pin point but -i just knew!- life went on slowly the fear left & was replaced with optimism & hope that i would never experience that unknowing again! But today as i sit here writting this down for people to read & to see i feel that same fear & unknowing creeping back, like a shadow that follow's me, that i can glimpse & every part of my being is screaming for it to go!
Now i am faced with my new fear of realising that Dylan may be Autistic or at the very least have Asperger's Syndrome, i know that many of you would think this strange that i am worrying when he is bright & full of life! but now i see cracks appearing where i thought they were just my eccentric little man being himself! am i frightened YES!
His behaviour is progressivly becoming more irrational socially & i face the very real fear that as time goes on he will become even more challenged & more isolated!
Do i believe it was the vaccine? of course i do! but on the same hand it was such a slight risk & i believe 100% that every child should be vaccinated! To all those parent's who are facing this with one of they're own i would love to hear from you! as i am lost in what to do now!
To every parent who has a child with any form of dissability no matter how big or small my heart goes out to you all, we all walk a thin line between healthy & ill believe me i should know.
erin.......
Australia 
Member » erinlarsen
07:34
7 Visits
DYLAN & SKYE HAD NO IDEA WHY MUMMY WAS SO PISSED! BUT LET ME TELL YOU, I SPENT 2 HRS CLEANING THE LOUNGE INC. THE T.V, ENT. UNIT, HIM, THE COFFEE TABLE, LOUNGE & OTHER KNOWN AREAS OF PEANUT VILLATIONS! 2 COFFEE'S LATER WHICH ALMOST INC. A VALIUM (IF I OWNED SOME!) & THE HOUSE WAS BACK TO NORMAL! THEN TO MY DELIGHT CONNER DECIDED TO DROP SOMETHING HORRIFIC IN HIS NAPPY THAT NOT EVEN A FULL SPACE SUIT & GAS MASK COULD HAVE LESSONED IN IT'S HORRENDOUS ENTIRITY!
TO ALL MUM'S!
HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY LADIES EVERYWHERE!!!!!
